Mayan Doomsday Prophecy? Never Trust A Fahkin Hippy

People who are expecting the world to end on December 21 – the so-called ‘Mayan Apocalypse’ – are destined to be disappointed. The world might end on December 21st, just as it might on any other day but if it does it will have nohing to do with a Mayan prophecy coz there wasn’t one.

The ‘prophecy’ does not stem from the Mayans at all – or date from thousands of years ago. In fact, the beliefs come from two New Age books written by hippys with a fondness for shrooms and published in the Seventies and Eighties.

The two books predict “the end” will be a surreal happening that will herald an “upgrade” to human consciousness and a new beginning for our humble race of bipeds. The alleged calendar that predicted doomsday was interpreted by a spirit from the seventh century that one of the authors channelled while on a magic mushroom trip.

“December 21st will be just another Friday morning,” said Andrew Wilson, Assistant Head of Social Studies at the University of Derby. “A hippy guru called Jose Arguelles associated the date with the Mayan calendar in a book called The Mayan Factor in 1987. But it’s an obsolete form of the calendar, which had not been used since the year 1100AD.”

The actual date of December 21 first appeared in an earlier work – a 1975 book by Terence McKenna, a writer known for his descriptions of “machine elves” seen while under the influence of drugs.

The date appeared in McKenna’s ‘Timeline Zero’ prophecy, and was based on McKenna’s own mathematics, the Chinese I Ching and a magic mushroom trip.

As the great Johnny Rotten once said: “Never trust a fahkin hippy.”

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After The Goldrush In Rural France

Let’s see if Populis can manage not to lose my content this time …

Hippies and New Age tree shaggers have set up camps in the shadow of the 4,000ft summit of the Pic de Bugarach in south-western France.

The mountain which is honeycombed with caves, is thought to have inspired the Steven Spielberg movie Close Encounters Of The Third Kind and the classic novel Journey To The Centre Of The Earth.

The nutters believe that in a scenarion reminiscent of the Neil Young song After The Goldrush, on December 21st this year a spaceship will emerge from the bowels of the earth (I’ll rephrase that; emerge from the depths of the mountain,) and hover above their camp sucking them up in a tractor beam into the ship to be taken away from this dying planet or as the song has it, “carrying Mother Nature’s silver seed to a new home in the sun.” (full lyric)

One of the hippies who had quit his job and abandoned his family to join the throng on their journey into space told Boggart Blog:

” “There are serious things going on here, I want to be part of it. These things exist and people have the right to know.”

Another, who who declined to give a name was not fully convinced that the world will end on December 21 but said: “I do think the capitalist system is going to collapse then.”

Patrice Etienne, who runs an organic cafe (with a special line in mushroom soup?) in the village, is certain the mountain holds a major secret.

He said: “People walking on the mountain report that their cameras jammed when they tried to take pictures. They heard strange noises coming from underground.

“We have seen military aircraft, police and soldiers. It’s like a Spielberg movie. They are looking for something. There is something in this mountain, definitely.”

He spoke the truth: Police and troops have been drafted into the village and its environs and the mountain has been made a no-go area for five days from December 19.

Inspecteur Clouseau of the Deuxieme Bureau told our reporter, “Eet is seulment a precaution. Zere are beaucoup be nutters wandeuring around ze mountain, wheut eef one of zem should let euf a beumb to expeuse ze space sheep. We are respeunsible feur these imbeciles and European Euman Rights leur deus not allow us to shoot zem.”

But the end-of-the-world crowd say the ban on climbing the mountain is nothing to do with safety and the military is really there to investigate dozens of recent UFO sightings and make first contact with alien leaders and invite them to join the Bilderberg Group.

They claim the authorities actions prove the area is a hotbed of alien activity in the run-up to Doomsday — when the Mayan calendar’s 5,125-year cycle finishes.

Boggart Blog thinks these people are just a bunch of harmless fantasists but we have moved our office Chritmas party to from December 23 to 20th just in case.

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