Stub Out That Demon Ciggy And Enjoy A Politically Correct Spliff

No matter what your feelings about the evils of smoking may be, if you love liberty and democracy it is still worth keeping an eye on how, where and when the government regulates smoking to protect the terminally fearful from hazards like second hand and even third hand smoke. Smoking has already been banned in public buildings, offices and shopping malls by control freak local government officers. When it comes to the great outdoors, however, their reach seems to exceed their grasp.

Mayor Bloomberg of New York has led the way in implementing anti – smoking laws that are impossible to police and has even talked of stopping people from smoking in their own homes. Bloomberg seems quite unperturbed by the fact that to enforce such a law would require power similar to those exercised by the Thought Police in George Orwell’s novel “1984”.

But the city of San Francisco in California, the US State where stupidity havs become contagious appears poised to follow Bloomberg’s fascistic example..

Supervisor Eric Mar said he introduced a proposal to ban ssmoking in streets, parks and on beaches because of the health impacts of secondhand smoke when people light up in public.

“It’s widely known that secondhand smoke is responsible for as many as 73,000 deaths among non-smokers each year in the United States, and there is no safe level of exposure,” he said.

Like Alameda and several other Californian cities, San Francisco already restricts smoking in outdoor seating areas of cafes and restaurants, as well as near building entrances and vents. San Jose has similar smoking restrictions.

But even if they do it, they won’t ban all smoking. The exceptions as you might expect are related to political correctness.

“It’s carefully crafted also to exclude smaller, neighborhood organized events such as block parties. And also, importantly, it does not prohibit the use of medical cannabis,” Mar said. Medicinal? As in, “I only use it to relieve stress”? Well haven’t we all?

Obviously you’d make the important exemption for people smoking pot. These interfering lefties might be very keen to stop Joe the Schlepper from enjoying his drug of choice because the government knows best how he should live his life , so they will tell him not to light up a Lucky Strike or open a beer, but they would not try to curtail the freedoms of enlightened people who have politicallly correct values. So they are not going to try to stop right on people from enjoying a spliff as that would be undemocratic. The San Francisco city authorities are not Nazis FFS.

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Scientists breakthrough In Stupidity And Irrelevance

Sorry folks, we’ve been slacking here at Boggart Blog, we haven’t had a go at scientists for ages. It is not that the pointy headed boys and girls haven’t been trying, simply that their efforts to show they are very clever by solving problems they don’t understand and that are truly not problems haven’t been very funny.

The science community must have a new intake of idiots however because to get themselves back in the groove they have come up with a real humdinger.

Researchers from the University of California have made big advances in understanding the science behind one of life’s common pitfalls – spilling coffee from a cup we are carrying as we walk.

The Scientists in Santa Barbara, decided to investigate the physics of moving coffee and tell the world the best way of carrying coffee without causing spillages. A newly published paper entitled ‘Walking with coffee: Why does it spill?’ states:

‘In our busy lives, almost all of us have to walk with a cup of coffee. While often we spill the drink, this familiar phenomenon has never been explored systematically, here we report on the results of an experimental study of the conditions under which coffee spills for various walking speeds and initial liquid levels in the cup.’

Yeah right.

Rouslan Krechetnikov, a lecturer in mechanical engineer at the university, and his graduate student, Hans Mayer, explored the phenomenon by conducting a series of experiments.

They monitored people walking at different speeds along a straight path while holding a full mug of coffee and either focusing on the mug, or looking straight ahead.A camera recorded the volunteer’s motion, while a tiny sensor on the mug recorded the instant of spillage.

The research, published in the journal Physical Review E, found that in average sized mugs the coffee’s natural frequency was the same as a person’s gait, which caused the liquid to oscillate.

The spillages were most likely between a coffee carrier’s seventh and tenth step, according to Live Science.

Following their discovery, the mechanical engineers had some advice for coffee drinkers.

They said leaving a large gap between the coffee and the top of the drinking vessel, and walking slower, prevents spillages.

Well bugger me with a bargepole wrapped in barbed wire, I would never have worked that out for myself.

All of this proves what we have said before, that scientists have far too much time on thir hands, too much taxpayers’ money to play with and not enough imagiunation to think of sensible ways of killing time.

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Stupid Criminal Of The Week Drives Over A Cliff To Escape A Speeding Ticket

Stupid Criminal Of The Week Dtives Over A Cliff To Avoid A Speeding Ticket
A California woman was forced to jump from a speeding van, because her husband was driving towards a cliff in order to escape from police.
Malibu cops say that Michael Kheop, 44, started to flee in the van at about 1:30 p.m. on Friday during a traffic stop. His wife Meru was in the passenger seat. and she told CBS2 that she wanted him to surrender and assured him that everything would be all right.

But Kheop wanted to get away and allegedly turned toward a 200-foot cliff.

Meru Kheop told reporters “I said … ‘Get out of the car, we can handle this,’ He said, ‘Get out,’ and I opened the door, and then that’s when the car turned.”

“I jumped when it was about to go down,” she added.

stupid-criminal-cliff
The cliff on Wile E Coyote Road that Kheop drove over

She made it just in time. Her spouse cascaded down the grassy cliff, but miraculously survived though the van was a write off. He eluded cops a second time by hiding in the brush.
Officers searched for him but he remained at large for five hours. That evening Meru Kheop heard a knock at her window. It was Michael, but Meru who was a tad pissed off that her hubby would risk her life to avoid a trafic ticket didn’t let him in. Instead she called police who arrested him without further incident.

Police charged him with attempted murder, endangering his wife and resisting arrest. He now faces several years in prison and his bail was set at £100,000.

The speeding fine would have been $50.

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It’s Life Jim But Not As We Know It part 2

‘Life as we don’t know it’ discovery could prove existence of aliens; a press release we reported on last week, from those clever boys and girls at NASA, has sent the internet into a frenzy of doomsday theories, scientific enthusiasm bordering on hysteria, science fiction type speculation and wet dreams involving $billion research grants. The news NASA released into the public domain announced an “astrobiology finding” that could suggest alien life exists – even on earth.

The discovery could prove the theory of “shadow” creatures which exist in tandem with our own and in hostile environments previously thought uninhabitable. So what were they suggesting they have proved the existence of? Lovecraftian monsters such as Amoeba Constabulae, the theoretical life forms that existed in plasma form before the universe started to solidify into stars and planets? Far fetched nonsense you might think but but if the specualtive theories of those clever boy scientists who spend a lot of our money on playing with their Large Hardon Provider at CERN are taken into consideration, completely feasible.

Well unfortunately for fans of Cthulhu the boy scientists have not discovered H.P. Lovecraft’s fantastic creatures that are said to exist in another dimension, not yet anyway. As we read the presser it does at first however seem quite exciting. The “life as we don’t know it” lives in one of the most hostile environments on earth, munches arsenic for lunch and could even survive on …………. wait for it …………… hostile planets. The scientists who discovered it also believe it could develop into intelligent creatures such as humans if and when conditions improve. It would be interesting if we could pin them down to a timescale on this. Arsenic eating bacteria are a long way behind Chimps on the evolutionary scale and chimps, which share 98% of their DNA with humans have shown little sign of developing human consciousness in the past five million years or so. (Come to think of it neither have NASA scientists – one of the things that distinguishes humans from both chimps and scientists is the ability to discern when an activity is not leading anywhere.

When chimps see a turd they pick it up, examine it, sniff it and discard it. A minute later they see another turd, pick it up, examine it, sniff it and so on. An intelligent being would think “it’s another turd, nothing interesting about that,” Scientists are the same, especially those who search for alien life. The SETI (search for extra terrestrial intelligence) laboratory in California have been monitoring the radiation from outer space that constantly bombards our planet for fifty years hoping for a message from ET. So far nothing, nada, zilch, yet every day they sit and watch their monitors and examine the data and continue to delude themselves they are doing something important. Well if spending taxpayers’ money on achieving eff all is important, I suppose they are.

One of the things that makes SETI so ridiculous is that the whole experiment relies on a notion that would do credit to the most fanatical religious zealot, that mathematics is a universal language and alien life forms will use mathematical formulae to contact us.

Really?

And how many alien life forms have the people at SETI been in touch with in order to arrive at this conclusion?

Mathematics is not a “universal language” it is a method or set of methods devised by humans to measure, map, calculate and understand things in our physical world, the world created by human consciousness. There is no reason at all beyond the collective arrogance of the science academy to suppose alien life forms, should they exist, would use anything remotely resembling the mathematical systems appropriate to the human mindset. The consciousness of conscious alien life forms could be entirely different to ours. And as Stephen Hawking recently cautioned we should think carefully about advertising our presence to an alien life form technologically advanced enough to communicate across distances of many hundreds of light years. They might not have invested a lot of time and energy in searching for inhabitable planets simply because they wished to engage in scientific debates with the primitive but possibly nutritious life forms that inhabit them.

Back to the bacteria that it was revealed in a press conference titled ““astrobiology finding which will impact the search for evidence of extraterrestrial life.” The microscopic creature has been found at the bottom of Mono Lake in California’s Yosemite National Park which is rich in arsenic, one of the most deadly toxins to most other known life forms.microbe that can live in an environment previously thought too poisonous to support life.

Somehow the bacteria uses the arsenic as a way of surviving and this ability raises the prospect that similar life could exist on other planets, which do not have our benevolent atmosphere.

Dr Lewis Dartnell, an astrobiologist at the Centre for Planetary Sciences in London, said: “If these organisms use arsenic in their metabolism, it demonstrates that there are other forms of life to those we knew of…they’re aliens, but aliens that share the same home as us.”

Astrobiologist? WTF? An astrobiologist would be someone who studies life in the stars. So even when we manage to break out of our solar syatem there is still a long way to go before Dr. Dartnell’s job has any work attached to it.

Well … erm … just one small issue with all that Lewis. If these bacteria live on the same planet as us and there is nothing to suggest they ever came from anywhere else in the universe anytime recently then by definition they are not aliens. Oh sorry, I’m not a scientist. What could I possibly know about anything?

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Did You Know Darwin was a homosexual satanist?

Governator Schwartzenegger of California today announced an initiative to do away with hardcopy textbooks in Californian State schools. His advisers, education academics from the state’s leading Universities say that text books are no longer needed. Pupils, it seems, can grab all the information they need from the internet. So in future all Californian kids will grow up knowing that Charles Darwin was a homosexual satanist .”>Ebooks won’t solve California’s problem

Right.

So in future all Californian kids will grow up knowing that Charles Darwin was a homosexual satanist. That fact was revealed in an article on a US religious right web site I visited not long ago.

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Let her breasts satisfy thee at all times? Ooer Missis.

Here in Britain we have not been much aware of the storm that has blown up around the winner of the Miss California beauty contest.

What kicked it all off was this: when contestant Carrie Prejean, a silicon enhanced evangelical christian stepped up for the question and answer bit where the “beauties” are asked non controversial questions that beg answers like “to work towards a world free from hunger and war” one of the judges, a nasty little professional shirt lifter named Perez Hilton decided to bushwhack her by asking if she approved of single sex marriage. That insulting phrase is not used in a homophobic way but in a Hiltonphobic way.

Ms Prejean answered the question honestly that while she was comfortable with same sex relationships she personally did not think marriage between people of the same gender was proper. Despite Perez Hilton demands that Carrie Prejean be disqualified for homophobia she won.

A bit of background here, the California state government had approved civil partnerships such as we have in Britain but having won that right the Californian gay community started to demand a law that would have forced all churches including Roman Catholic and Evangelical Christian but not Muslim of course because that would not be politically correct, to perform same sex marriage. Instead of supporting the gay demands, the people of California voted to repeal the civil partnership rules. This should demonstrate to the gay community that tolerance has limits. If they push their sexuality in peoples faces (oops pardon”) too vigorously they will be pushed back in the closet and the door will be nailed shut.

Gay communities all over the USA threw a collective hissy fit and have been screaming “homophobia” at every opportunity. Except of course when Barack Obama announced he disapproved of homosexual marriage. The rules don’t apply to The Obamessiah of course because he is a Muslim so the politically correct ideals that (a) the will of the majority must always be overuled by the whines of the minority and (b) in cases that bring the interests of two minorities into conflict double standards will be deployed.

Since the beauty contest calls for Ms Prejean to be stripped of the title have gathered volume if not traction. So now the case of the beauty queen with silicon boobs and a sensible opinion has become a national issue, pitting moderate and conservative opinion against the Obamanazi Politically Corret Thought Police.

It is all getting very silly as a comdy clip from satirist Bill Maher; “God Gave Miss California An Eternal Soul, Man Gaver her The Hooters” on Huffington Post shows. The clip is funny and the way Maher uses a phrase from the Bible: “let her breasts satisfy thee at all times”; (Proverbs 5:19 in the King James version) to add an extra dimenstion to what is basically a riff on tit jokes is rather clever. It is disturbing too because it reveals the belief of the Politically Correct Thought Police that anyone who disagrees with them of differs from the PC world view is not allowed to express their own opinion.

At Boggart Blog we believe in free speech, even for people who have cosmetic surgery … and for homosexuals too.

Not to be outdone our British gay and lesbian community reveal their whiney intolerant side by kicking up over the latest Jonathan Ross Makes Stupid, Slightly Offensive Joke issue. When will they learn, making jokes about homosexuals, jews, muslims is not homophobic/ anti-semitic/anti-islamic, bullying or torturing people for being any of those things is.

More humour every day from Boggart Blog

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Dicktoria Beckham, Wannabe Penis Owner.

I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want.
Well tell me what you want, what you really, really want?
I wanna wanna wanna twenty five foot penis.

Dear, ditzy Victoria aka Posh Spice (where would us comedy bloggers be without her?) has done it again. The most lost in showbiz of the Spice Girls could not have gone to lie in a more appropriate place than LALAland, capital of the celebrity culture.

But has California made her madder or has she made Flake City U.S.A. even more out of the loop than it was before?

Asked in an interview how she felt about husband David’s position in the celebritocracy currently being boosted by an advertising campaign in which he is pictured in a pair of guzzies that can only be described as the male equivalent of a Wonderbra Victoria again demonstrated her tenuous grip on reality.
I’m proud to see his penis twenty five feet tall, plastered over all these advertising billboards,” she said, adding “it’s huge, its massive, if I had a twenty five foot penis I would walk through the streets in my panties to show it off.”
Calm down Dicktoria, if you do ever acquire a penis I’m afraid you will be very disappointed with the range of actual sizes available.

MORE humour every day from Boggart Blog