Join The New Lesbian Army

University students in Canada continue to face a bizarre government / politically correct thought police campaign to make them homosexuals. At the University of Winnipeg, newly enrolled students were invited by The Lesbian Rangers Group (founded 2005) to participate in a lesbian “Reorientation Week

They were asked to become “rangers” with the “Lesbian National Parks and Services,” the brainchild of local “performing artists” Shauna Dempsey and Lorri Millan. (follow link above to see a poster which will demostrate why these two hairy arsed rug munchers became lesbians.)

Nobody know quite what Lesbian Rangers do but as The Park Ranger in the cartoons had to stop Yogi Bear stealing visitors picnic baskets, presumable their function is to patrol the campus and stop male students getting hold of girls doner kebabs

The two wimmin had a “field office” in the university art gallery, staffed by a university employee in ranger uniform. They took part in pancake breakfasts, barbecues and interviews on campus radio.

“Lesbian Rangers salute and welcome you!” their brochure says. “Here you will encounter new, even life-changing lifestyles and ideas. These may challenge you in uncomfortable ways.”

The university art gallery, the Manitoba Arts Council and the Canada Council, sponsored this tasteless attack on heterosexuality to the tune of about $10,000. This doesn’t include thousands of taxpayer dollars already expended on their promotional video and “Field Guide” which includes examples of lesbian “flora and fauna.”

Their message: “Homosexuality is natural. Question the heterosexual model. Heterosexuality is a social invention.”

The more I learn about what goes on in universities the more wise my decision to avoid the socialist shit holes and do higher education by distance learning looks, but I am aware that when I was young students were encouraged to question authority. Today, they are pressured to question their sexuality.

Does the LNPS actually exist? Is this exercise in brainwashing masquerading as art, propaganda disguised as parody real or is it a pathetic, sophomoronic attempt to shock? Is the idea that eventually the outrageous becomes accepted.

The Lesbian Rangers don’t actually work in any parks. But the artists claim to have hundreds of junior members called “Eager Beavers.”

Their video (online) is full of such double entendres and sexual innuendo on a par with anything a Carry On film could throw at us. The two “bush women” leave “no stone or student unturned.” It’s a “lesbian-eat-lesbian-world.” Knots are practiced in various bondage positions. Their website is called www.fingerinthe dyke.ca

In the promotional video they fine a heterosexual male $100 for wearing a lewd T-shirt (“Blow me”) and intimidate him when he protests. He is reprimanded for “threatening the lesbian environment.” Well I did say it was sophomoronic.

Canadian Lesbians are just a few government grants shy of having a paramilitary organization, a cross between the Girl Scouts and Hitler’s Brown Shirts. (Hitler’s SA was notoriously homosexual.)

This is a true news report, entirely unembellished. Nobody could make this stuff up.

Did Jesus Turn Out Just Fine

I wish churches would not try to be witty and amusing. Their efforts are usually twee and self conscious, try too hard to get a moral message across by disguising it was a joke, and are embarrassingly unfunny.

A case in point is the church in Canada whose gay rights obsessed pastor has found a novel way to spread its message of tolerance towards gay people. The results have gone viral, a bit like HIV.

A sign outside St. John’s Anglican Church displaying the words, “Jesus had two dads and he turned out just fine!” has been viewed over 1,000,000 times after a user of the social entertainment site Reddit posted a photo of the sign online, the Huffington Post reports.

The church’s location has been reported by US news site The Blaze as Niagara Falls, Ontario. The wife of Reverend Duncan Lyon, a member of the St John’s clergy, confirmed that the message was in front of their church.

The message appears to be taking a lead from the Gosford Anglican Church in Australia, which posted a similar message a few weeks ago.

Well American Christians and those in third world nations like Canada and Australia are not noted for having sophistcated senses of humour and many are still trying to work out why they are supposed to be offended by Carry On films.

So here’s something Boggart Blog has provided to help them understand why this God botherers stunt isn’t funny.

“I’m not an expert so correct me if I’m wrong, but I always had the impression one of these two alleged Dads was an absentee father who never paid any child support and the other a sort of stepdad who moved in with the single mother while she was pregnant. So when the family became homeless and the child was born in a cowshed he ought to have been put on social services “at risk” register.

And as we all know Jesus actually didn’t turn out very well at all. He was always giving the teacher lip at school and when grown up He went round causing riots, trashed the temple, associated with criminals and prostitutes stole a little boy’s picnic lunch and encouraged binge drinking.

If he’s supposed to be a role model for young guys is it any wonder so many end up in trouble.

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Golden Orwell Award: UN Says Food Is A Human Right

Canada is know a one of the most stupid politically correct nations on Earth, more politically correct in fact than Sweden. After passing a same sex marriage law a few years ago the Canadian bureaucracy has banished perfectly good old fashioned terms like husband and wife to the dustbin of history to be replaced by the “inclusive” but impersonal and sterile “spouse.” Also gone are son and daughter, uncle, aunt, grandad and grandma and most ridiculously mother and father.

Under the Canadian system those of us who have kids would be reduced to “parent 1” and “parent 2”.

But even that level of idiocy is not enough for the United Nations.

The U. N. Human Rights Council has just launched a broadside against, Canada’s flagrant violation of human rights, particularly the right to food. In the pompously titled ‘Special Rapporteur on the Right to Food,’ Olivier De Schutter, has accused the Canadians of unacceptable “rates of food insecurity,” and has demanded that the federal government in Ottawa to adopt “a national right to food strategy.”

Mr De Schutter is a prominent fuckwit bureacrat who recently published an article in The Guardian calling for the establishment of supranational “human rights courts” to address climate change. Yes, you read that right, this cupid stunt thinks climate change is violating your human rights.

In a press release issued yesterday, the dictatorial De Schutter, an expert on European Union law :)), declared in the best traditions of Orwellian newspeak:

Canada has long been seen as a land of plenty. Yet today one in ten families with a child under six is unable to meet their daily food needs. These rates of food insecurity are unacceptable, and it is time for Canada to adopt a national ‘right to food’ strategy.

WTF? Food insecurity? Is he suggesting a lot of Canadians have a panic attack when thy have to think about going down the supermarket and buying some scran?

Well as if that was not stupid enough he went on:

What I’ve seen in Canada is a system that presents barriers for the poor to access nutritious diets and that tolerates increased inequalities between rich and poor, and Aboriginal non-Aboriginal peoples. Canada is much admired for its achievements in the area of human rights, which it has championed for many years. But hunger and access to adequate diets, too, are human rights issues — and here much remains to be done.

A large number of Canadians are too poor to afford adequate diets. “800,000 households are food insecure in Canada. This is a country that is rich, but that fails to adapt the levels of social assistance benefits and its minimum wage to the rising costs of basic necessities, including food and housing. Food banks that depend on charity are not a solution: they are a symptom of failing social safety nets that the Government must address.

Ah, so what De Schutter means is that if DHWFs* in Canada are regularly sitting down to salmon, filet steak, pate de fois gras sarnies and a glass of fine wine to wash it down then if theslackers, no marks, weasters, dickheads, drunks, druggies and incompetents are not given the same it is a violation of their human rights. He subsequently criticised the Canadian government for levels of obesity in the country:

More than one in four Canadian adults are obese, and almost two thirds of the population is overweight or obese, costing at least 5 billion Canadian dollars annually in health care costs and in lost productivity. “This is also a result of poverty: adequate diets have become too expensive for poor Canadians, and it is precisely these people who have to pay the most when they live in food deserts and depend on convenience stores that charge higher prices than the main retailers.

So again we see the authoritarianism of the New World Order. You will soon no longer have the right live on porridge and lentil soup and spend all your money on rare stamps, not will you be able to pig out on pizzas, burgers, pies and mars bars rather than eating cabbage, beetroot smoothies and tofu. By having an unhealthy lifestyle you are violating your own human rights and the government will have to send the politically correct thought police round to sort you out.

In Canada Stephen Harper’s Conservative administration has rightly blasted the UN report, as well as UN interference in the sovereign affairs of one of the world’s leading democracies.

Boggart Blog is proud to award the maximum five Golden Orwells to Olivier De Schutter for his services to pseudo – liberal crypto – Naziism.

DHWFs = Decent hard – working folks

orwells54

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Don’t Eat All The Pies – You Could Be Chewing On A Nasty Surprise

Eating Puppy No Worse Than Eating Pork. So says posh boy chef Hugh Squirmly-Shittingstall. But would he eat human meat? And have you …………………… ???

Are you absolutely sure?

The River Cottage star has spent more than five months being a vegetarian for his latest series of the TV shows and has penned non-meat recipes for a new cookbook.

Fearnley-Whittingstall, 46, has eaten placenta pate, curried fruit bat, giraffe and calf testicles in the past.

Asked whether he would try loin of Labrador or cat liver, he told the Radio Times: ”Not unless I was on the point of starvation.

“In principle, but not in practice, I have no objection to a high-welfare organic puppy farm.”

“You can’t object, unless you also object to the farming of pigs. It’s an artificial construct of our society, a cultural decision, to make pets out of dogs and meat out of pigs.!

So would you eat a nice tender puppy (so long as nobody had wiped their arse on it of course.) You may recoil in horror from the idea but you could unknowingly have eaten worse.

Ever taste human flesh? If you answer “no” you might well be lying to yourself. If you eat in restaurants often or buy prepared meals how can you ever know what is really in them?

meatpie-400x300 A meat pie which is to the best of our knowledge, filled with bits of non human dead things – yummy :>

A chef in Russia is facing a hefty prison sentence after he was caught using minced human flesh in meat pies that he served up to unsuspecting customers. The man’s name is being withheld in case reatives of his pies victimes decide to put him in a curry as revenge, but it’s reported that he murdered his father-in-law before putting the old boy in the mincer to make filling for his famed mincemeat pies. Several people ate the Dear old Dad pies without even realising that they were committing cannibalism.

You think this only happens in lawless places like Russia and certain other remote islands and dark continents, not “civilised” places like Dagenham, Doncaster or North Dakota USA, think again.

Nathaniel Benjamin Levi Bar-Jonah(link to serial killer is for authenticity), who was born under the name David Paul Brown, was a cannibalistic amateur cook. Nathaniel allegedly kidnapped a young boy by the name of Zachary Ramsay from near his home, the small town of Royston Vaseyville in America’s mid west. He dismembered, minced, cooked and served the child to his neighbours as boy-burgers at a garden barbecue. People who ate the burgers said they tasted weird, to which Nathaniel replied that the meat was venison and not beef. It was also rumored Bar Jonah may have disposed of the remaining meat at a local restaurant, where he worked. The crime was not a one off and Brown/bar Jonah is now serving 130 years)

And not many years ago right here in Accrington, the owner of an Indian take away in Church Street (which I’m glad to say none of my familiy ever frequented) was convicted of murdering his Mother in Law. The body was never found but DNA traces matching the woman were identified in the bin that waste from the take away’s kitchen was dumped in.

So next time you hear anybody asking “Who ate all the pies,” just be glad it wasn’t you.

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If There Weren’t Any Canadians You’d Have To Invent Them

If some of the gags in this seem a little laboured, its probably because it was written for an American audience. I couldn’t be arsed doing anything original today cos its been a shite day, if fact what I saw through the window at midday could hardly be described as daylight.

About thirty – five years ago a television drama imprinted itself on the national consciousness here in Britain because of the insight it gave into racial. It was titled “If There Weren’t Any Blacks You’d Have To Invent Them,” and described how a whole mythology of difference had been built around the fact that some people have darker skin than others.

In the past few days I have been intrigued by a news story emerging from a district attorney’s office Texas. It seems a memo sent by an assistant DA to a prosecutor congratulated him on overcoming “a subversive defence that had some Canadians on the jury feeling sorry for the defendant.

Had I read this literally it would have been quite surprising to learn of Canadians sitting on a jury in Texas., however is spite of having seen “Canadians” being used as a derogatory term before I had not encountered its meaning “black people.”

There are many reasons why America’s Rabid Right, particularly those down in the Bible Belt would want to disparage Canadians; their irreligiousness, laid back attitude, strict laws on gun ownership, tolerant attitude to abortion and their anti war stance to name but a few. And there is also the irritating fact that like the Irish and Swedes, Canadians are sure of a warm welcome anywhere in the world simply because their country does not stomp around the globe pissing off other nations. But why use “Canadians” as a term for wogs*.

Well the point of that TV drama, in which the main characters were a blind man, a man who refused to open his eyes thus needing to be led by the bind man, and a man who insisted on walking backwards. The allegory is clear, there are many ways of refusing to see what is going or around us. And what reminded me of the play in that court case down in Texas is the way “Canadians have been drafted in as a convenient cover for all those words some people resent not being allowed to use to categorise people we dislike, distrust or find threatening. Of course I could be judging those Texans harshly, I know lots of Texans who are charming and perfectly reasonable people, but it is also possible that many from the Lone Star State have not only never stepped across America’s northern border or even seen a Canadian and so they assume Canadians must be different. If not they would be Americans, and every Texan knows Mexicans are different but Mexicans are easy to spot. Silly Hats, silly accents and silly moustaches, no problemo.

Bearing in mind it is The Bible Belt we are talking about, an area where black Americans might think it foolish to stray out of their own neighbourhood, there are precedents for people in isolated communities thinking strangers with a different physical appearance are something frightening or exotic. The native people of the Caribbean Islands and central America mistook the Spanish Conquistadors for Gods and the people of some Islands in the Indian Ocean thought the first Dutch sailors they encountered were demons. So is it any wonder some Texans think black people are Canadians, after all Canada must seem like a distant and almost mythical land to folk so detached from civilised society they have gone beyond having eyebrows that meet in the middle and now have eyes that meet in the middle.

The only thing this proves is when a problem goes that deep it is going to take a lot more than empty talk about dreams, visions, hope and change to tackle it head on.

* Workers On Government Service