They Didn’t Think It Through

Indonesian police burn 3.3 tons of weed; get entire town high

When Indonesian police in West Jakarta seized three tons of cannabis they thought disposing of the haul would be no problem. A splash of petrol a few firelighters and hey presto!

When burning contraband cannabis it pays to check which way the wind is blowing (image source)

As the bonfire burned however (and everybody likes a good bonfire) the cops who had not bothered to wear smoke masks began to feel wobbly. Then they fell on the floor and rolled around giggling hysterically for a couple of hours. Then they went on a rampage through the suburb hunting for chocolate related snacks.

As wind carried smoke from the blaze across a wider area, large numbers of residents in the neighborhood reported feeling dizzy, experiencing euphoria and getting the munchies. Most people in the surrounding streets became intoxicated to some extent when the plume of smoke blew into their area.

The entire town entire town got high thanks to the dopey cops not thinking things through..

Astounding Research Worthy Of An IgNobel Prize

I often lay into the stupid science of science tits and their infallible abilty to state the absolutely chuffing obvious as if it is some great advance in human knowledge.

I must admit though, even I, cynic that I am, was amazed by this one:

“Girls are more likely to sleep around at university if they smoke cannabis, according to a new study.

American researchers set out to discover if some students are more likely than others to ‘hook up’.

They discovered that smoking cannabis was one of the main factors determining whether first-year, female university students took part in casual, ‘no-strings’ sexual relationships.

Lead author Robyn Fielder, from The Miriam Hospital’s Centres for Behavioural and Preventive Medicine in Rhode Island, surveyed 483 incoming first-year female university students about their risk behaviours, personality traits and social environment.”

I mea, girls who smoke dope more likely to sleep around? Who ever would have thought it?

Source: Before It’s News

He Tried To Have Sex With What? How Rat Arsed Was He?

Callum Ward, 25, of Barnstaple was arrested after being observed “pressing” himself against the emergency vehicle before “simulating a sex act” on the bonnet.

Official police logs show an officer who saw him stated: “It looks as though he is attempting to make love to the front of the ambulance”.

Ward was drunk and had taken cannabis and amphetamine and was “in relatively high spirits” before the incident in November in Barnstaple, Devon.

He was first spotted setting fire to a packet of peanuts inside a phone box before mounting the ambulance, Barnstaple Magistrates Court was told.

What had he been drinking? Scrumpy cider laced with crystal meth? You can only have sex with the back end of an ambulance as any fule kno.

Potted Rabbit

Following a tip off from a neighbour, police raided an 84 year old woman’s house and found that she was in possession of several rather large cannabis plants.

The woman explained she grew it to feed her rabbits who appeared to rather like it.

One rabbit, named Dylan, explained, “It’s like dreamy, man”

The police also confiscated a boxed DVD set of The Magic Roudabout.

Bladdered Badgers, Sozzled Starlings and a Drunken Elk at Greenteeth Animal Page

The Nutty Professor Nutt Strikes Again

Earlier this year (or maybe it was last year) Boggart Blog featured a story about the very nutty Professor Nutt who, as chief scientific adviser on drugs to Gordon Brown’s government, embarrassed his employers by pontificating government drug policy was bollocks and that alcohol is a more harmful drug than cannabis and if cannabis is illegal so should alcohol be.

Well the Nutt(er) is at it again.

Now he has published and independent scientific survey, carried out scientifically using science which he claims proves drinking alcohol causes more damage to health than heroin or crack cocaine.

The point nutty Nutt misses (because he’s a scientist and they always miss the point) is that very few people are imbibing ten pints of heroin chased down with a few shots of Tequila every Friday night. A few milligrams of heroin will kill and so heroin users are fairly rare and old heroin users even rarer.

Alcohol users are numerous and drink much larger amounts of alcohol for much longer periods. So we can never truly know if some old soaks liver’s failure is due to alcohol, the speed they took in their dissolute youth or just because they’re fucked.

Another nutty claim Prof Nutt makes is that smoking ciggies does more harm than smoking cannabis.

Bollocks. Many people some twenty ciggies a day and live an average lifespan, most spliff smokers only have a couple of joints a week. And a lot of tobacco smokers also smoke weed so how can we know which if either has done them more harm?

Are there any cannabis users who get through twenty joints a day to give us an idea of the results of comparing like with like?

Yes there is one. Bob Marley, and look what happened to him.

Alcolhol Will Kill 250,000 a year

Pea in man’s lung shows how to beat the recession by growing food inside your body

With food price inflation worrying many households in these austere time we were drawn to a story that broke yesterday about a man who grew a pea plant in his lung. This could offer hope to families on a tight budget who are trying to cope with rising prices.

Now we have heard stories of seeds sprouting inside people’s bodies before and always dismissed them as urban myths. And who as a child was not told by their mother, “There’s enough muck behind your ears to grow potatoes.”

Well potatoes are not ideal for lungs, they need lots of light and a good depth of soil to flourish. Perhaps planting potatoes in the digestive tract, equally warm and moist, with light entering through the mouth and lots of good rich compost at the lower levels might give better results. Peas and beans should be planted between the toes so they can wrap their tendrils around leg hair as they start to climb.

Another candidate for body cavity cultivation is rhubarb. The forced variety which produces tender pink stalks does best in warm, moist, dark conditions. That a suitable orifice exists on the female body could give a whole new meaning to the phrase “rhubarb triangle.”

People wanting to get really serious about intra – corporeal horticulture and raise a cash crop to supplement the family income should look no further than Cannabis. Think about it, the plant grows almost anywhere in any conditions, it can be harvested several times a year and any Afghan black you get hold of these days is likely to come into the country up somebody’s arse.

Cut out the middle man, reduce the air miles, help the planet and get yourself a decent smoke. All you need to do is swallow some seeds and a UV torch.

Food Crisis and Corporate Control Freakery
The Food Crisis Is Biting Poor Nations
Sarko Calls For Action Against Inflation

More humour every day at Boggart Blog

Obama’s "High" Old Time on T.V (thanks for this to Texas Darlin’ blog)

At Boggart Blog we often report the crazy things people say or do when they are drunk or stoned. The question busying giddy minds in America this week is: Had Barack Obama been at the old herbal mixture when he appeared on the 60 Minutes television news magazine? Check out the video embedded in Obama’s 60 Minute “High” on Texas Darlin’ blog and make your own mind up. Those of us who have indulged will recognise the symptoms I think.

I don’t want to influence your judgement but I think if someone had handed the President a Mars Bar we all know what he would have done with it.

Is the pressure getting too much for him already? And do we really want a stoner to be the man with his finger on the nuclear button?

More humour every day from Boggart Blog

Greenteth Multi Media
Greenteeth Comedy Pages
A Tale Told By An Idiot

New Cannabis Shock – Drug Is Linked To Obesity.

Only hours after new research revealed that regular use of cannabis can be linked to a 40% rise in schizophrenia cases came a further setback for the campaign to legalise cannabis.
A report by a team of nutritionists showed that cannabis use can always be linked to obesity.
“We noticed that people who had smoked cannabis would often go out to buy Mars Bars, Chocolate Chip Cookies and other foods high in sugar and saturated fats,” said senior nutritionist Dr. Annie Reksic, “on the basis of this we set up a clinical trial and found there is a direct link between cannabis and obesity. Cannabis smokers regularly consume several thousand calories in a short time.”
Mr. A Stoner, a spokesman for the “Legalise Cannabis er, you know, sometime, or don’t, whatever…” group hit back by saying that the main health risk to cannabis users are comedy DVDs. “Jim Carrey DVDs are safe”, Mr Stoner told us, “but people can definitely harm themselves by laughing too hard at Monty Python, Goodies, League of Gentlemen and Fast Show compilations after they have had va joint. These shows should carry health warnings.”

Chill out Vicar

Soon you will be able to relieve your stress by brewing up with hash tea-bags.

An ice tea containing cannabis extract is going on sale in the UK. C-Ice Swiss Cannabis Ice Tea is being marketed for its health benefits and all
narcotic elements of the plant have been removed to make it legal.
Davis Raynes, at the National Drug Prevential Alliance UK, attacked the sale of the drink as “a normalisation of cannabis as an image in young people’s minds”. C-Ice is produced by an Austrian company which uses hemp grown in Switzerland.

More tea Vicar – and another Mars Bar maybe?