The Bible tips a Cheltenham winner (humour).

Wednesday’s Post A Little Early.

Contributed by special guest blogger, Television Racing Pundit John McCrackpot.

It’s the Cheltenham festival again and what mystic omens can we find to point us to a winner.
There has been a lot of talk about The Bible in the past few monts, what with faith schools, creationists arguing against Darwin, religious symbols at work and all that sort of thing, so let’s see if there are any REVELATIONS for us miserable punters who have suffered from a PLAGUE of outsiders on day one of the Festival.
Will the Good Book show us how to get our money back.
Well it says here there are four HORSEMEN to watch out for, WAR, FAMINE, PESTILENCE and PLAGUE and we have had four years of WAR, there is certainly a FAMINE of good sense in the world, ten years of Tony Blair and his wretched government is enough PESTILENCE for anyone and that PLAGUE of winners nobody would pick if they were the only horse in the race has left us all skint. So what have we to look for.
It tells us a RIDER ON A PALE HORSE will defeat everything.
A rider on a Pale Horse? That can only be Tony Dobbin on the grey Monet’s Garden in Thursday’s Ryanair chase, off at 2:35.
The signs are all there and The Good Book has tipped it, GET ON THE PALE HORSE, MONET’S GARDEN! IT WILL SURELY CARRY TONY DOBBIN TO VICTORY ON THURSDAY. IT CAN’T LOSE!

BTW this is a parody of John McCrirrick, not a genuine tip. I will be having a fiver each way on Monet’s Garden but only for fun.