Shy Tories

by Ian

Once a nerd always a nerd, it is said and while I strenuously deny any similarity with Bill Gates, those weirdos who founded Google and Prof. Brian Cox, I did work in Information Technology for many years and sometimes I like to do a bit of programming for fun. On thing that always amuses me is recrunching the numbers from political polling to try and get a picture of what’s really going on.

And I can tell you the big factor in the outcome of this week’s UK general election is not Brexit, poverty, immigration or tax dodging billionaires. It is shy Tories.

Now OK I know you all think Tories are arrogant, braying posh boys with plangent voices, but polls show most Tory voters do not like to talk about their procilivities. It’s sad really that people feel ashamed of their choices, after all we live in a democracy and you should be able to support who you like without fear or shame.

But the situation is not as bad as in the USA where the most important demographic in the 2020 election will be the shy trumpers, people who are ashamed to admit they are trumpers. It was these people who swung the 2016 election against Hillary Clinton and who will decide the 2020 election.

When you think about this, it’s no wonder so many Americans look like hot air balloons if they’ve been holding in all that flatus since 2016

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Godfather and Labour Special Advisor star backs Conservatives

We hear on the election grapevine the actor who played Sonny Corleone in the Oscar winning film The Godfather and has now become one of the stars of Dargon’s Den and a “special advisor” to Business Czar Peter Mandelson has today backed Tory economic policy… This is aexract from a press release just sent out by his office….

James Caan, champion of entrepreneurship and star of BBC TVs Dragons’ Den, analysed the policies of the Labour and Conservative parties today, in search of solace for small business prior to the General Election.

“Small and Medium Sized Enterprises (SME’s) obviously have a huge part to play in the economic recovery and providing employment growth,“ said James Caan. “Currently, all parties are claiming to have prioritized help to SME’s, but that help comes in various policy forms.”

“Labour and the Conservatives seem to be offering alternative policy focuses for economic recovery, and their plans for deficit reduction depend upon the successful impact of their respective policies. I believe that the recovery needs to be business-led, with particular support for SME’s, and the Conservatives are most convincing on this aspect at the moment…”

Whatever else Mandy might be he’s not an expert on hirings special advisors is he? But we wonder what kind of business advisor Mr. Kaan could be if he lets his PR people send out press releases with his name mis – spelled

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Something Good To Be Said For Labour After All.

Readers sometimes complain that Boggart Blog is always more enthusiastic in attacking Labour than the Conservatives. There is some justification in this criticism but we have good reasons for our editorial policy. It is not that we find Conservative policies more appealing or that we think Labour’s hypocrisy in casting themselves as a party of the centre left and then governing from a position to the right of the Burmese Junta deserves to be punished.

It is not even that we think Labour are more comical than other political parties. If we based our blog on how comical people are we would be posting about Lembit Opik, Kerry Catona, John Terry and Sharon Osbourne every day.

No, we hit Labour most simply because they are in power and therefore are standing up atop the wall inviting us to hurl abuse, eggs, rotten vegetables and poo. And they can always put their cleaning bills on expenses.

That is how satire works. We target people who deserve it. People like Gregory Gallazzo for example. Gallazzo, a former Jesuit priest and now a “community organiser” (to clarify, a rabble rousers, trouble maker, shit stirrer, agitator, seditionist) is currently doing a bit of community organising in Manchester. In a previous incarnation he claims he was the community organising mentor of one Barack Hussein Obama during the putative President’s early days as a trouble maker in the Chicago political swamp when his main task was to accuse banks of racism if they showed reluctance to grant large mortgages to poorly educated, unemployed, unemployable black people.

Gallazzo is working on generating a sense of grievance among Manchester’s minorities because he does not like the Labour Party and Labour’s grip in power in Manchester relies heavily on the votes of ethic and sexual minorities.

Taking a well earned break from Community Organising Gallazzo, speaking of Manchester’s ruling party, told Boggart Blog: Labour is the most reactionary and repressive political organisation I have ever come across. The party establishment would close ranks to prevent and outsider like Barack Obama rising to power.

So you see there are some good things to be said for Labour after all.

Conservatives’ "Bottoms Up Carrots" Housing Policy

Aren’t The Conservatives brilliant! Just when their popularity is soaring in the polls and they should be charging towards an overwhelming election victory they produce an upper class berk to remind us the next Tory Government will be just as inept as the current Labour rabble.

The latest in a long line of Conservatives to open his mouth and trip over his tongue is shadow housing miniter Grant Shapps. Talking to the house mag. of the charity Shelter Mr. Shapps said: “The immediate priority is to switch the system from top down sticks to bottom up carrots.”

We have no idea what Mr. Shapps meant and, we suspect, neither does he.

If he had said “Carrots up bottom,” it would at least have made some sort of sense even if it had put people off the idea of eating carrots for the rest of their lives.

More humour every day at Boggart Blog

Cameron Tackles Deprivation

The Boy David has promised the conservatives will make a priority of helping people “left behind by rising living standards,” (YEAH RIGHT! Like the Conservatives are ever going to do anything he says :DD )
Mr Cameron went on to say the last generation has seen a steady rise in living standards that has benefitted the majority while a few have seen their real standard of living fall.

Translated into English this means people in London and the South East have done well while those in the north, midlands and west country … well who gives a toss about them anyway. Let the bastards starve and there will be plenty of land for new grouse moors.