When Baby’s First Word Is ‘Moo’

Big news over the weekend was that Chinese scientists have bred genetically modified cows that, read, watch TV and complain about the price of silage give human milk.

What these guys have done in effect is produce a human / bovine hybrid.

Now you may think that’s great, another breakthrough in the quest of science to turn us all into lab rats. We at Boggart Blog know however that is it nothing to get excited about.

In the office here we are all agog with excitement as we wait for Baby Jamie to say his first word. We can’t expect future mums and dads, grandparents, uncles and aunts, cousins etc. to be quite as agog when they know baby’s first word will be ‘moo.’

Is the creation of a human / bovine hybrid really an advance? Look at the staff in any local government office and you will learn that human / bovine hybrids have been around a long time.

The question is of course, do we need cows that give human milk? Isn’t it a bit pervy to be drinking human breastmilk past the age of two? I mean, we all remember the ‘Bitty’ sketches in Little Britain and how hilarious but at the same time distrurbingly creepy that was.

What is really puzzling is why the Chinese have done this. The people of south east Asia can’t metabolise milk once they get past infancy anyway so it’s hardly going to solve China’s predicted food crisis.

There may be a spin off benefit to come. If the next stage of the project breeds humans that give cows’ milk, Dave, George and Co. could get all those unmarried mothers living in council flats off benefits and into gainful employment in the dairy farming industry.

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