Stupid Criminal Of The Week

We haven’t had a Stupid Criminal Of The Week for a long time, all these stories about war, international crises, regime change, aircraft going missing and such have kept us too busy.

Now however we have a change to bring you the tail of Marquis Jackson, 27, a bumbling burglar who got himself sprayed by a skunk while stealing items from a garden. Police responded to a 911 call from a man who reported two men stealing items from a neighbor’s backyard but when the patrol car arrived the burglars had apparently fled. Jackson’s accomplice had been seen jumping over fences and running through gardens and was quickly apprehended.

Initially it appeared Jackson had made a clean getaway, but the officers noticed a pungent stink coming from a garden shed which had been broken into. In choosing a hiding place Jackson had disturbed a skunk just awakened from hibernation under the garden shed and the animal was pissed off at having its space invaded. Skunks use their spray as a defense mechanism to ward off predators.

It is rare to encounter skunks in domestic gardens, they are shy creatures and avoid humanity. Though they shun gardens, skunks are rather conservative creatures too and thus are very big on lawn order which is probably why this one grassed up the thief.

skunk conservative

Climate Scientist’s Failed Law Suit Exposes His Fake Science

After so many acrimonious arguments with so many acrimonious people about the fake science that the whole Anthropogenic Global Warming scare was just a scam to justify carbon taxes, it’s greatly amusing to see that the phoney scientist who led the whole fraud has been beaten to death with his own hockey stick – remember the notorious hockey stick graph that omitted and data that did not fit the answer Mann, his cronies and paymasters wanted. Well when people pointed out this very obvious manipulation of data, Mann screamed, “You’re not scientists, you don’t understand how science works.”

Unfortunately many of us do and some people called Mann’s bluff by yelling back, “You’re a cheat, fraud, and data faker, sue us if you dare.”

Mann sued and …

Michael Mann Faces Bankruptcy as his Courtroom Climate Capers Collapse

Mike Mann mugshot - he could be arrested for fraud
Prof Mike Mann mugshot – he could be arrested for fraud

Here are a couple of samples from Principia Scientifica’s reporting of the case (linked in the headline):

Massive counterclaims, in excess of $10 million, have just been filed against climate scientist Michael Mann after lawyers affirmed that the former golden boy of global warming alarmism had sensationally failed in his exasperating three-year bid to sue skeptic Canadian climatologist, Tim Ball. Door now wide open for criminal investigation into Climategate conspiracy.

Buoyed by Dr Ball’s successes, journalist and free-speech defender, Mark Steyn has promptly decided to likewise countersue Michael Mann for $10 million in response to a similar SLAPP suit filed by the litigious professor from Penn. State University against not just Steyn, but also the National Review, the Competitive Enterprise Institute and Rand Simberg. Ball’s countersuit against Mann seeks “exemplary and punitive damages. ” Bishop Hill blog is running extracts of Steyn’s counterclaim, plus link.


The fact Mann refused to disclose his ‘hockey stick’ graph metadata in the British Columbia Supreme Court, as he is required to do under Canadian civil rules of procedure, constituted a fatal omission to comply, rendering his lawsuit unwinnable. As such, Dr Ball, by default, has substantiated his now famous assertion that Mann belongs “in the state pen, not Penn. State.” In short, Mann failed to show he did not fake his tree ring proxy data for the past 1,000 years, so Ball’s assessment stands as fair comment. Moreover, many hundreds of papers in the field of paleoclimate temperature reconstructions that cite Mann’s work are likewise tainted, heaping more misery on the discredited UN’s Intergovernmental Panel for Climate Change (IPCC) which has a knack of relying on such sub prime science (my emphasis – great catchphrase).

I have followed this case and it’s impossible to have any sympathy for Mann, he was advised by several lawyers who refused to represent him that if we has not prepared to reveal his data he could not possibly wing the case. In the end Mann and the law firm that did eventually take him on were running round like headless chickens trying to negotiate an out of courts settlement to save Mann’s arse.

It’s funny really but somehow I think the Warmageddonist cult will find a way to pretend it never happened.

Population Is The New Climate Change
Major Disaster Neeeded To Save The New World Order? What!

Obama War Criminal? SHOCK, HORROR, Politician speaks the truth.

Irish MP Clare Daly is my new hero. Don’t get the wrong idea, Ms. Daly is not a looker, in fact given the right make up she could play Mrs. Doyle in Father Ted. But I’m not always shallow. I have taken a shine to Ms. Daly because she is a living example of that rarest, most endangered of all species, a politician who speaks the truth.

In a polemical speech disguised as a five minute long question she laid into the Irish government and media’s “sycophantic fawning over the Obamas” and said it is hard to know which is worse, that or the outpourings of the Obamas themselves. After calling President Obama the hypocrite of the century and a war criminal she went on to say that the Irish Prime Minister Enda Kenny and his government has presented Ireland as a nation of pimps, prostitutes and poltroons in turning a blind eye to Obama’s obsession with drones and arming terrorists while praising him as a man of peace.

The response of Irish Prime Minister, a smooth faced, slippery tongued scumsucker (aren’t all political leaders the same these days) was condescending and patronising but unfortunately in referring to the great victories for peace and democracy the American – European alliance had achieved in Iraq, Libya and Afghanistan he gave Ms. Daly the opportunity to come back, all guns blazing, (about seven minutes into the video) and complete the job of totally eviscerating him.

It’s great to watch and listen to.


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Stupid Criminal Of The Week Called The Cops While Planning Heist

It’s time to end the famine of Stupid Criminal Of The Week with a really wonderful story about a complete silly arse who called the cops and revealed plans for a robbery.

The Fresno police department in California are always happy when members of the public respond to requests for information and thus help to solve crimes. When a criminals’ themselves dial 911 and talk the cops through their plans, as you might imagine the boys in blue are ecstatic.

According to a May 21, report in Find Law, the assailant and accomplice were engaged in planning how to enter premises for the purposes of burglary when one of the men’s leaned on a wall while his cell phone was in his back pocket. The phone dialled 911 dispatch and the entire plan was recorded. Not only that, as the conversation indicated the silly arse was outside the place he planned to rob the cops were able to trace the phone’s location (you can do this at home)and apprehend the wannabe dickheads.

Nathan Teklemariam and Carson Rinehart, two 20-year-old men, were and charged with burglary, conspiracy and possession of stolen property.

The 911 dispatcher answered the and did not receive a response, but heard voices on the line. “I though it was just kids arseing about,” he told media.

In a second attempt to speak with the caller the dispatcher heard the men’s discussion about marijuana.

The emergency department’s recording shows the criminal’s cell phone call was connected to the 911 dispatch line for 35-minutes, giving the police plenty of time to saunter round and nick the villains.

Police Sergeant Jaime Rios stated that, “The 911 call was still open at the time of the arrests, and the officer took the phone and ended the call himself.”

original story and extracts from the recording at

Road Wars? Rubber Balls Of Terror, Skipping Ropes Of Mass Destruction?

You’ll be glad to know that fat sweaty coppers from the Politically Correct Thought Police are keeping you safe in your homes by operating a zero tolerance policy against little girls.

And why not, the Labour Prime Minister who ushered in the Politically Correct Thought Police reign of terror promised to be tough on crime, tough on the causes of crime. Well crimes are committed by adults and children grow up to be adults so it makes sense to crack down on childhood games and make sure the kinds are well intimidated.

Or so it might seem to parents in Kent.

Officers of Kent finest (who said a bunch of Kents, come on, let’s have some resprect for the men and women who harrass our children) reportedly reprimanded Lilly Allen, 10, earlier this week for drawing a hopscotch grid on the pavement on the pavement near her home.

The traditional game’s outline she drew was akin to criminal damage.

The schoolgirl was said to have been given the warning by two unnamed coppers officers as she played the centuries-old game.

Lilly was issued the warning after making the outlines in white chalk, which washes away in rain. Drawing on the pavement is criminal damage, two plods in a patrol car told her.

Lilly’s dad, Robert Allen, 51 has lodged a formal complaint to Kent Police over the incident, which occurred on Monday. He told reporters “Two policemen in a car drove up to her and said it was illegal to draw on the floor as it was criminal damage. I am absolutely seething.”

After posting a picture of the grid on his Facebook page, the pub entertainer joked: “I call her Banksy now.”

Scores of his friends commented on the posting, labelling the police comments as “ridiculous”.

Jeanette Elliott wrote: “It’s crazy it’s what we all did as kids the worlds gone mad!”

Vernon Vandell added: “Poor copper… many weeks basic training do they have to do before they are ‘qualified’? He’ll be nicking the toddlers for leaving tricycles unattended next!”

It is understood that police were today “trying to establish” which officers may have spoken to the girl.

“We cannot currently trace any car being in the area at the time,” a police source said; (well they would, wouldn’t they?) full story

The police action might not be as ridiculous as it first seems. While the coppers are busy harassing little girls they can’t be sent off to chase real crims who might have guns and knives and baseball bats with nails through the end.

Boggart Blog legal expert A Cheever Loophole said, “You could say drawing on the pavement is defacing public property by the offence would be had to prosecute as the evidence would be washed away by raid before the case came to court.

Children indulging in criminal behaviour


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A Song For Today

(tune: Banks Of The Ohio which I remember from Bert Weedon’s Play With Yourself In A Day book)On the story today of three young American women kidnapped and held captive for ten years.

I kidnapped you and made you mine,
in my bed you would recline,
in the basement down below
the streets of Cleveland Ohio.

Didn’t let you out, you had no phone,
I hoped you get Stockholm syndrome
but ten long years you hated me
and called the cops when you broke free.

Was I not good, was I not kind?
My loving gestures you declined,
though every time you misbehaved
I could have dug a shallow grave.

And this is how you repay me,
I’ll rot in jail while you walk free,
free as a bird to come and go,
in the streets of Cleveland Ohio.

This type of crime seems to be becoming more and more common and what always amazes me is the perps can’t see how they have done anything wrong in depriving another human being of freedom for years. The three bothers responsible for the Cleveland kidnappings deserve a Boggart Blog stupid criminal of the week award.

According to American police sources only one of the three brothers arrested was responsible for kidnapping and imprisoning the victims. The other two managed to live in the came house as a guy who was holding three young women captive for ten years and not be aware of their presence or the nature of the crime.

If I was asked to believe that could happen anywhere else I would say “Oh FFS, but it is America we’re talking about.


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Stupid Lefties Of The Week (with Chorlton and The Wheelies bonus)

A dearth of Stupid Criminal Of The Week award worthy crimes led us to wonder in the Boggart Blog office if it might be time to inaugurate a new category of award for outandingly stupid behaviour among a sector of society for whom stupidity is the norm.

Right on cue those paragons of stupidity, the Occupy movement provided us with inspiration. Having failed to Occupy The City, The Barbican, a scout hut in Camden Town and various other spaces you’d think Occupy might get the message and occupy the space between their collective ears.

But no, these people are truly dedicated to fuckwittery of the highest order. They tried to Occupy The Salvation Army.

Last Monday, we learn, a little old lady rang the buzzer outside the Salvation Army headquarters in Elephant and Castle, London. They door was opened for her because even in Elephant and Castle the Sally Army doesn’t turn people away people who need help and she seemed in need of help. But the old lady or perhaps I should say t’little old Lady like the friendly Yorkshire dragon in Chorlton and The Wheelies who could never see that t’little old lady was in fact an evil witch who wanted to make the wheelies wheels seize up because the little old Lady knocking on the Sally Army’s door in Elephant and Castle was was not what she seemed to be either: she was a decoy for Occupy Workfare, a gang of Left-wing dickheads activists who were hiding behind her. As soon as the door was opened, they burst into the HQ and proceeded to “occupy” it.

Apparently Occupy don’t like the Sally Army because it employs benefit recipients who are required to do work experience as a route back to employment. This so-called “workfare” scheme means they help the charity for a maximum of four weeks – and some of them are so impressed by its Christian witness that they stay on as volunteers while they find real jobs and sometimes even become actyive Christians (which we think might be what really pisses off Occupy).

In the eyes of Occupy Workfare, however, the Salvation Army is “collaborating” in a Tory conspiracy to exploit benefit claimants. Hence their charming old-lady decoy trick, which enabled a bunch of scumsuckers reeking of Patchouli oil and personal odours to push past the reception staff, pushing some aside roughly.

Leftie agitators aren’t the brightest folk (anyone remember Citizen Smith?) so it never occurred to them that once the door had shut behind them they wouldn’t be able to unoccupy the Sally Army building. The reception staff, independent contractors of the type usually recruited from ex military personnel didn’t appreciate being bullied and called the police. Occupy Workfare are now complaining of harassment that they were being “held hostage” by the Salvation Army … Arseholes.

In case you’d forgotten – Chorlton and The Wheelies (YouTube):

Bogcast: Media Studies Cops

Efforts to modernise the police force by making sure our coppers are politically correct when arresting muggers, wife beaters, granny beaters, child molesters, squirrel molesters, bank robbers, arsonists, murderers and people who drop chewing gum on the pavement seem to be tipping the justice system in favour of the criminal.

A new initiative to allow direct entry to senior ranks of the police force for people with degrees in things like sociology, art history, graphic design and media studies are hardly likely to help.

You may notice that apart from the light being lousy at this time of year so the window reflects in my glasses, my hair is looking rather grey. We let is grow out to see how grey it is and how I looked and in future videos I will be dark and sultry again. I don’t mind being grey, I don’t mind admitting my hair is dyed, what I can’t be having with is black eyebrows and grey hair. It’s never going to be a good look.

Stupid Criminal Of The Week: Cop was DUI while on duty

When it comes to stupid crime, the idea of an on duty police officer being pulled over for drunk driving definitely qualifies foe a Stupid Criminal Of The Week Award.
After driving on the wrong side of the road and recklessly weaving from lane to lane, South African cop Nkuleleko Mbanjwa stopped for no apparent reason and was pulled out of his vehicle by Russell George who alleged the man was drunk. The police officer had alcohol on his breath and witnesses suggested he had been drinking heavily.

While the South African incident has people shocked, it was the decision of civilian Russell George that makes everyone realize how lucky it was nobody was injured. The armed police officer was held by George with a citizen arrest and put into the back of the police vehicle while more police came. While Russell first called the police to assist, no officers came to the scene immediately and the citizen was concerned the alleged tipsy cop would have driven off and caused a serous accident.

Nkuleleko Mbanjwa apparently was celebrating his birthday and claimed he had only had one drink. This turned out to be true but the one drink was a litre bottle of spirits.

Not only is it alleged that he was driving recklessly there was another traffic incident reported too. He allegedly hit another vehicle prior to his arrest but fled the scene.

Fact check it isn’t this story I used several sources.

When HMRC have got you by the bollocks

Counterfeiters plans to pull off a pants scam this Christmas were frustrated when Customs Agents impounded a shipment of fake Calvin Klein Boxer Shorts worth almost £1 million.

An HMRC spokesperson said the smugglers plan was to flood the market at Christmas.

Oh, so they weren’t incontinence pants then?

Border Agency and Trading Standards officers are now warning Christmas shoppers about what they buy to avoid fuelling the illegal trade. You undermine honest traders and end up with inferior goods they said.

The problem is we don’t end up with inferior goods, we pay half the price and get the same quality garment. The only difference is it left the factory in Bangla Desh by the back door rather than the front.