Breaking News From Planet Snowflake – Kitchen Knives To Be Banned

As we’ve said before, this blog started  out as a social and political satire publication. Then about 2010 maybe, the virtue signalling of the political left and progressive liberals became so insane it was beyond sanity. This story illustrates how far beyond sanity we have travelled.

‘Beyond parody’: Call for UK to ban pointed kitchen knives ridiculed online

Church of England bishops (who else could be so far out of touch with reality?) are leading a campaign calling on the government to take a toughen up its position on on knife crime, in the wake of a massive upsurge in knife attacks and violent crime since the police were ordered to prioritise the investigation of ‘hate crime’ over pursuing real criminals. One of their suggestions is banning pointed kitchen knives. The suggestion has been met on social media with some confusion, and a lot of jokes.

Church leaders, with support from police, psychiatrists and politicians, penned an open letter to the government, arguing that domestic knives should be redesigned with rounded tips to reduce the number of life-threatening stabbing injuries being inflicted bt thugs with hunting knives, combat knives and machetes. They reportedly argue that pointed blades aren’t even needed in this day and age, given that we have forks to eat with. The useless old farts have obviouslt never skinned a rabbit or gutted a fish.

The absurdity of banning a common kitchen implement was pointed out by bemused netizens, particularly as the proposal comes after police recently announced that they will no longer post images of seized knives “to help reduce the fear of knives,” and as the Home Office uses takeaway packaging to basically tell people that stabbing is bad.

WTF? DON’T THEY UNDERSTAND THUGS THINK BEING BAD IS KOOL, SO TELLING THEN STABBING IS BAD WILL ONLY ENCOURAGE THEM?

Despite such highly effective crime-fighting tactics, the government seems to be having little actual effect on violent knife crime rates if official statistics cab ve believed, and efforts to ‘reach out’ to young criminas appears to be failing to reduce crime or assure the public that the problem is being dealt with.

Many Twitter users were baffled by the suggestion of a pointed kitchen knife ban, wondering if it’s some sort of joke, while others highlighted the fundamental futility of the idea by noting how easy it is to find an alternative sharply-pointed weapon, or to make one.

Some weighed in with creative alternatives to food preparation, should you find yourself bereft of a pointed kitchen knife.

And commenters across the pond were less than impressed with the ‘banning pointy knives’ proposal, with one saying: “When you Europeans get high and mighty about America’s guns and tell us we need to be more like you… this is what comes to mind.”

MORE ON POLITICALLY CORRECT STUPIDITY

 

 

 

America Takes A Step Closer To Becoming A Cashless Society

cashless
Piture: The Guardian

If you order a beer at a Flatstick pub in Seattle, Washington, don’t try to pay with $10 bill — you’ll walk away thirsty. It’s not that the US state of Washington has started charging Scandinavian prices for booze, but that Flatstick, a hot new mini-chain in the Pacific Northwest, does not accept cash. Neither does Bluestone Lane, an east coast coffee chain with locations in New York, Philly and D.C. Patrons there have to pay with plastic or an app called LevelUp.

Cashless commerce is popping up around the country, particularly in restaurants catering to a younger crowd, the kind of university brainwashed millenials who think its cool to make life easy for rip off merchants by relying on contactless cards or smart phone apps to pay. It seems millenials are more likely to leave home without any greenbacks, or even a wallet, and instead choose to live life with a smartphone and a few credit or debit cards attached. Or perhaps due to the abject failure of the education system these dorks haven’t mastered the basic arithmetic needed to use csh transactions.

Businesses who’ve gone cashless rave about the results. Flatstick owner Sam Largent told me plastic-only reduces error rates during times of complex accounting, such as calculating tips when shifts change. I’m not sure why customers should care about that but then in Europe your waiter is not likely to shoot you for tipping too little.

The value of cash transactions sank 7% from 2010 to 2015, according to The Nilson Report, while credit and debit card payments increased by nearly 50%. Meanwhile, ATMs, which had their 50th birthday last year, are disappearing around around the world, signaling the decline of the “cash run.”

Cash-free environments aren’t brand new. Political establishments have been pushing the idea of cashless lives for decades, the better to keeep tabs on the spending habits of individuals. Airlines went cashless a long time ago (for meals and other onboard purchases), and many other businesses are only taking automated payments (it gives them an excuse to fire another human being.) And with the meteoric rise of friend-to-friend payment apps like Venmo, Zelle and Splitwise, we’re no longer throwing $20 bills on the table after a meal (or handing over cash or checks to roommates for the gas bill).

But cash is a long away from dead, and as usual we find governments and mainstream media are deploying fake news to advance their agenda. The US Federal Reserve said in 2016 that 35% of U.S. transactions were still made in cash although 42% of UK transactions are still in cash. Numbers for other European countries, with the Scandinavian countries leading the race to dystopia while the nations of southern and eastern Europe cling to their banknotes.. And the amount of cash being used around the world continues to rise. Plus, there are still many of obstacles to going cashless.

For starters, the estimates suggest that around 7% of the populations of developed nations still do not use banking facilities. In other words, they live an all-cash life, so would be entirely shut out in a cashless society. Some also like the anonymity that comes with paying cash. Others use cash for budgeting reasons (when you’re out of cash, you stop spending – simples).

Still, on a global scale, eliminating cash offers some intriguing possibilities. Merely the elimination of large denomination banknotes, which the EU has done, makes life much harder for large-enterprise criminals, like drug dealers according to technocrats. OK, it’s far more conspicuous to carry around large piles of small bills, but wire transfers between banks in Switzerland and The Cayman Islands present no problems. And if you connect through a VPN the transaction is untraceable. People who claim that if all financial transactions were electronic, hiding crime would become much more difficult are takling bollocks. They either have little understanding of how the internet works (or how much of it is invisible to the World Wide Web,) or they are on the side of the big league criminals and corporate pirates.

MORE ON AMERICA

Negative Interest Rates & The War On Cash, Part 3: “Beware The Promoters”
Bitcoin and other electronic platforms have paved the way psychologically for a shift away from cash, although they have done so by emphasising decentralisation and anonymity rather than the much greater central control which would be inherent in a mainstream electronic currency. Despite the loss of privacy, electronic currency is much favoured by techno-optimists, but not so much by those concerned about the risks of absolute structural dependency on technological complexity.

India’s Cashless Society set to fail but slide to fascism goes on
On 17th July 2017, India will elect a new President through a vote of the elected representatives. The contenders are Ram Nath Kovind and Meira Kumar. Few people outside his own family know who Kovind is and voters are only vaguely aware of Ms. Kumar. India will get a complete nobody as its next President. …

A cashless society would hurt the poor
We have reported on the push, led by globalist politicians and supranational bureaucracies such as the United Nations and the European Union to abolish cash throughout the world and move all business activity to digital media. The issues for personal privacy and liberty are well documented, but the real losers will be the poor.

War On Cash Gathers Momentum – Germany Unveils Cash Controls
On Monday (1 February, 2016) just two days ago, Bloomberg called on the central banks of the world to “bring on a cashless future” in an Op-Ed that calls notes and coins “dirty, dangerous, unwieldy, and expensive.”
We can imagine it would be quite easy to harm someone by firing large coins at them from a gun and terrorists could probably stuff an improvised explosive device with small coins rather than nails or nuts and bolts. And if …

Norway’s Biggest Bank Joins Push To Abolish Cash
The move by governments to eliminate cash as a means of trading goods and services is moving faster than we imagined. With another global financial crisis looming according to financial journalists and investment experts this is as understandable as it is undesirable for us ordinary punters.

The Financial Times Calls for Ending Cash, Calls it a “Barbarous Relic”
Earlier this week, as the financial world was in turmoil following a rapid crash and recovery in financial markets. While we the punters shook our heads and wondered how the banksters get away with this kind of shit, The Financial Times published a dastardly little piece of fascist New World Order propaganda.

New Global Crisis Imminent, New Geneva Report Warns
The Geneva Report refers to a “poisonous combination of high and rising global debt and slowing nominal GDP [gross domestic product], driven by both slowing real growth and falling inflation”. The total burden of world debt, private and public, has risen from 160 per cent of national income in 2001 to almost 200 per cent after the crisis struck in 2009 and 215 per cent in 2013. “Contrary to widely held beliefs, the world has not yet begun to delever and the global debt to GDP ratio is still growing, breaking new highs,” the report said.

Cashless Society – The Resistance Begins Here
A seaside market town in Norfolk may be less than 100 miles from the world’s financial capital, London, , it may be the commercial centre of West Norfolk’ as the town website boasts, it may be home to 45,000 people — but there, unlike in London, cash is king.

Establishment Pushing ‘Cashless Society’ to Control Humanity
The global establishment is increasingly pushing the notion of what it calls a “cashless society” — a world in which all payments and transactions would be conducted electronically, creating a permanent record for governments to inspect and track at will.Multiple governments from Africa and Asia to Europe and …

War On Cash Gathers Momentum – Germany Unveils Cash Controls
On Monday (1 February, 2016) just two days ago, Bloomberg called on the central banks of the world to “bring on a cashless future” in an Op-Ed that calls notes and coins “dirty, dangerous, unwieldy, and expensive.”
We can imagine it would be quite easy to harm someone by firing large coins at them from a gun and terrorists could probably stuff an improvised explosive device with small coins rather than nails or nuts and bolts. And if …

War On Cash – A Country By Country Guide
More on the global war on cash being waged by ruling elites in parallel with their war on privacy as they try to exert total control over everything.

Norway’s Biggest Bank Joins Push To Abolish Cash
The move by governments to eliminate cash as a means of trading goods and services is moving faster than we imagined. With another global financial crisis looming according to financial journalists and investment experts this is as understandable as it is undesirable for us ordinary punters.

War On Cash: Pin Numbers will be obsolete within five years, we will pay with mobile or fingerprints instead.

The War On Cash gathers more momentum as political, business and academic elite attempt to advance and agenda that will destroy individual freedom and privacy and give them total control of our lives and finances via technology.

Sweden’s Rebels Against Cashless Society Push: “We Have No Weapon Fight Back…If Putin Invades”
This omnibus page is about documenting the global elite’s “War On Cash” (yes that is a bit over dramatic and click – baity, but we have to compete for attention,) which is not about making life better for the masses as we are told it is, but about enabling government agencies to increase their ability …

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Living Within The Conspiracy
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Science and Technology
London transport bans cash

Banks new contactless cards will be a criminals wet dream

Unfortunately while the banks and technology giants have been ironing out problems with contactless payment technology (like its habit of doing your good deed for the day by paying for other people’s stuff), the crooks have been forging ahead with non-accidental ways to rip off your card. Thieves can easily steal key data from contactless credit and debit cards using equipment bought “easily and cheaply” online, consumers magazine Which? has warned UK consumers.

READ ALL >>>
Banks want us all to have ‘tap and pay’ cards… even though they’re a criminals wet dream

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War On Cash Gathers Momentum – Germany Unveils Cash Controls
On Monday (1 February, 2016) just two days ago, Bloomberg called on the central banks of the world to “bring on a cashless future” in an Op-Ed that calls notes and coins “dirty, dangerous, unwieldy, and expensive.”
We can imagine it would be quite easy to harm someone by firing large coins at them from a gun and terrorists could probably stuff an improvised explosive device with small coins rather than nails or nuts and bolts. And if …

Elsewhere: [Boggart Blog]…[Little Nicky Machiavelli]… [ Ian’s Authorsden Pages ]… [Scribd]…[Wikinut] … [ Boggart Abroad] … [ Grenteeth Bites ] … Ian Thorpe at Flickr ] … [ Tumblr ] … [Ian at Minds ] … [ The Original Boggart Blog] … [ Authorsden blog ]

Stupid Criminal of the Week Award

A prisoner in Sri Lanka tried to smuggle a mobile phone into prison by inserting it up his jacksie end.

Unfortunately he received a call and his arse started ringing.

The guards, ever vigilant, realised where the noise was coming from just as the prisoner realised that he had neither switched the phone to silent not turned it off.

I just hope he had remembered to turn off the vibrate function or it could have got messy88|.

Proof Of Dumbing Down In GCSE Exams

Every year as the percentage of those achieving top grades in GCSE exams continues to rise and the number of GCSEs gained by pupils continues to rise there is the usual debate about whether exams are becoming easier or kids more intelligent.

But now Boggartblog brings you the definitive proof that exams are indeed getting easier.

A young man has been sent down for two years for breaking into a house and attempting to steal a Playstation.

The robber was dubbed ‘The Brainiest Burglar in Britain’ when it was discovered that he has 17 GCSEs.

Proof of dumbing down in exams was demonstrated when it was also disclosed that he has 23 previous convictions.

Doh!

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GCSE Skyriving? They call this eddykashun

Where’s Wally? Cooee I’m Over Here!

Our Stupid Criminal Of The Week award this week goes to Ryan Homsley of Oregon,who likes to carry our his robberies dressed as the cartoon character Waldo, from the Where’s Waldo cartoon.
In the UK we call this cartoon Where’s Wally.
The eponymous hero wears over large glasses and a stripy top and the object of the exercise is to try and find him on the page covered in a very busy drawing.
It can keep small children amused for hours, and that’s only working out how to turn over the pages.

Anyway Rory was arrested by the FBI in connection with a series of robberies when he posted a bank surveillance photo of himself as his profile picture on his Facebook page. along with the announcement, “I am now a bank robber.”

A piece of advice to all would be criminals out there.

Some things are best kept to yourself.

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Facebook as important as the printing press? We think not.

Quick Thinking Criminal or Slow Witted Plod?

We normally bring you stories of really stupid criminals, like the man who drove the getaway car sporting his own personalised registration plate, or the chap who held up a bank, slipping the cashier his handwritten demand for money which he’d jotted down on the back of an old envelope, showing his name, address and zip code, or the gang member who was advised by a kindly policeman that he should give up on his life of crime as his incredibly sticky out ears meant he was identified every time.

Well today, just to balance it up a bit we bring you the story of the quick witted criminal. Although it could equally be called the story of the slow witted plod.

Police in Streetsboro, Ohio, apprehended suspected bank robber John H Ford and just like in all the best cop shows cuffed his hands behind his back and then bent him over the bonnet of the squad car as they frisked him.
As they were looking for weapons they put the piece of paper they found in his pocket on the bonnet of the car, and as said piece of paper was allegedly the note used in the heist, Mr. Ford promptly ate it, destroying the evidence.

Way to go, JOHN!