You’d All Like Something That’s Not About Coronavirus? We’ll Do Our Best.

European Union Approves Bugs For Human Consumption

Authored by Paul Joseph Watson via Summit News,

The European Union’s Food Safety Authority has approved the sale of bugs as “novel food,” meaning that they are likely to be mass produced for human consumption throughout the continent by the end of the year.

Can’t wait.

“These have a good chance of being given the green light in the coming few weeks,” the secretary-general of the International Platform of Insects for Food and Feed, Christophe Derrien, told The Guardian.

Since 1997, the EU has required a “novel food” classification to allow the sale of products that had no history of being consumed by humans, meaning that the sale of bugs has been banned in countries like Spain, France and Italy for over two decades.

However, with the new approval, mass production of bug-based food is set to ramp up later this year. This means that locusts, crickets, grasshoppers, and mealworms may all appear on supermarket shelves by the autumn.

Christophe Derrien is looking forward to the sale of bugs as both a stand alone food and incorporated into existing products, arguing that they are a great source of protein and the production of bug food doesn’t harm the planet... Continue reading
MORE ON Food fascists


We tried our best but could only find that one interesting story that does not mention coronavirus. Still we found something encouraging. Amidst all the panic and hysteria it’s good to know some people are still able to focus on what’s REALLY important.

NHS Hiring ‘Diversity & Inclusion’ Managers

In the midst of the Coronavirus crisis, the Bristol & Weston NHS Foundation Trust is hiring a new ‘Diversity and Inclusion Manager’. The lucky applicant will play a vital role in “developing and delivering a key programme of work to drive the Trust’s ambition and vision of being committed to inclusion in everything we do.” Wokery is not the most important priority during a pandemic…

They’ll be very lucky indeed, because the salary for the role starts at £44,606 to £50,819 a year. That’s money that could cover the wages of two new nurses. What’s the NHS playing at? from Guido Fawkes

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Furred arteries found in ancient skeletons

I was astounded (i.e. gobsmacked) to read a headline that said archaeologists had found ancient skeletons which revealed our ancestors who survived on the allegedly healthy paleolithic diet. The paleo diet, consisting of five main food groups, meat and fish, nuts, eggs, leaf and root vegetables and fruit has often been recommended for preventing furred arteries and thus holding off cardio vascular disease.

from The Daily Telegraph
Modern day diets and unhealthy lifestyles are often blamed for furred arteries which result in heart disease.
But studies of an ancients skeleton had found that the problem has been affecting human health for a least 3,000 years.
Ancient African skeletons have been discovered with atherosclerosis, a thickening of the artery wall due to fatty build-up and a major factor in cadiovascular disease – the leading cause of death today.
Doctors blame our modern lifestyle with smoking, obesity and hypertension commonly the cause.
But the condition was also prevalent 3,000 years ago among the simple farming communities who worked the land by the Nile in what is now Sudan.
Continue reading:

So was it all wrong then, one more example of the uselessness of science, or have we stumbled upon another bunch of headline seeking academics playing fast and looks with factual evidence. Observe for yourselves:

ancient skeleton
A 5000 year old skeleton

Furred arteries? – What effing arteries are those then?

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Unhealthy Pleasures For Healthy Living

I was intrigued by a headline in The Indy that read:

The Cuban diet: eat less, exercise more – and preventable deaths are halved.

It so so wrong in so many ways, but so typical of the finger wagging health fascists of Nanny State.

First of all what is this “preventable deaths” bollocks that has become so fashionable with politicians, meeja pundits and health fascists. No death is preventable FFS, we are all going to die. Do they mean delayable? If so what they are saying is if we live a live totally devoid of pleasure as prescribed by Nanny State, we might get lucky and live three months longer.

On the other hand if we live a dissolute life of debauchery and self indulgence we might get really lucky and die the kind of young man’s death wished for by poet Roger McGough.

Let Me Die A Young Man’s Death
Sample:
may my mistress
catching me in bed with her daughter
and fearing for her son
cut me up into little pieces
and throw away every piece but one …

Yes, I would like to go in a similarish way to any of those mentioned in the poem.

The next point about that headline from The Independent is what’s this bollocks about the cuban diet. There’s a lie of omission there for sure. The lifestyle of the average Cuban might involve eating less because the communist regime is so incompetent there’s no chuffing food, and they may exercise more because thanks to American sanctions there is no petrol. But they smoke loads of huge cigars and drink pisspots full of Rum.

Well I’m all for that, but isn’t it exactly what the agents of nanny State tell us we shouldn’t be doing?

FOR INFO: The article mentions that between 1990 and 1995, because of food shortages, the average Cubal lost 10 pounds and the death rates from heart disease and diabetes halved. It does not mention how many people died from starvation.

The friendly face of junk food

Politicians scream at us with one face about the health riskes posed by obesity and how our unhealthy diet is killing us, while with the other they glibly assure the likes of Monsanto, DuPont, Glaxo Smith Klein and all the usual suspects that whatever laws are required will be enacted to enable these corporate fascists to sneak their latest poisons into our diet.

We don’t have to eat junk.

hair-sandwich

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Heinz Off Our HP Sauce

The Salt Police are on a misssion at the moment to remove all tasty food from our diets.

The chief weapon is surprise…. surprise and fear … their two chief weapons etc.

The three food ingedients they are targeting are fat, sugar and salt. Now all these, in their natural rather than processed forms are essential to life. And all make food tase good and thus make our lives more pleasant.

For example, imagine a bacon or sausage bap bought at an outdoor event, a car boot sale maybe, without a bit of ketchup or Brown Sauce …

Well you will not have to imagine long. The salt police have coerced H J Heinz the new owners of HP Foods into reducing the amount of salt in HP Sauce for health reasons. It mattters not that very few people are likely to sit down to a 2oz portion of HP sauce.

It was bad enough that Cadbury’s was sold to Kraft so we now get not a nice box of choccies but a trisangle of Dairylea Milk Tray. Do we really have to put up with our sauce bottles containing a puree of caramelised brown stuff?

The extra salt we got in a dollop of HP sauce was tiny. But it wasn’t the salt they food fascists were out to get, it was the pleasure we get from biting into a tasty, tangy sausage or bacon sarni. Now we can, if we choose put new recipe, low salt HP sauce that tastes about as appetising as a diorroeah dollop on our food. Better still we can devote our leisure time to more worthy pursuits such as reading “improving” literature or campaigning on behalf of minority rights.

Enjoying youself in a manner of your own choosing is not anti social behaviour yet, but the salt police are trying to help you prepare for when it is.

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Wake Up And Taste The Coffee

Aren’t you glad all that politics and coalition bollocks has taken a back seat for a while. To be honest we were getting fed up of taking the piss out of the buggers. Still, every silver lining has a cloud and without the politicians giving us a constant stream of material the stories dominating the news, the Gaza aid fleet massacre and the Whitehaven shootings are not suitable for humourous writers, even those with as little taste as your Boggart Bloggers.

No worries though, we always have stories of whacky but pointless research to fall back on and those coming out now seem whackier than ever. Could it be that the mad scientists, miffed at being pushed out of the limelight are working overtime to get themselves back to centre stage. Britain’s Got Science or what?

Yesterday we received a report of a health research project that reports people who rely on a cup of coffee to kick start their system of a morning are deluding themselves. That first cup of coffee, the study says, only counteracts the caffeine withdrawal that has set in overnight. So does the research suggest people go coffee cold turkey or feed their addiction overnight by taking in Red Bull on an intravenous drip in order to avoid that morning feeling? As it happens they are rather vague on that point.

Boggart Blog has a better idea however. Have two cups of coffee.

Simples.

More humour every day at Boggart Blog

Mouse Science And Even More Mouse Science

Isn’t it about time we started doing something about the incredible cruelty to mice perpetrated by scientists?
Boggartblog has previously brought you many stories concerning mouse science but now we are getting rather more worried.

In an article in The Times Amanda Ursell is discussing the allleged dieting myth that eating later results in fewer calories burned.

It seems that an experiment has been conducted using 12 mice, some of whom fed through the day and some through the night. Let’s assume for the sake of symmetry at the very least, if not keeping factors constant as one ought to, that this was an equal split, six mice eating during the day and six mice eating at night.
All the mice were fed the same high fat diet and obviously the same calories.

She goes on to state that the mice that fed through the day gained 5lbs whilst those that fed through the night gained 10lbs.

So how much do you reckon a mouse weighs in the first place? They’re not very big, 3 – 4 inches, long excluding tails – and I have to admit that of the vast number of mice I come into contact with some are tailless, there again some of them are headless but most just appear to be a gall bladder and a bit of blood. When intact they are maybe a couple of inches high. They can’t weigh much more than 8 ozs; that’s an ordinary packet of butter or quarter of a bag of sugar or four and a half standard Mars bars.

So in six weeks six of these mice put on 5lb. Even assuming that this is collectively it means that each of these mice more than doubled it’s body weight in the six week period.

But the other six put on twice that much. How big were these mice when they’d finished?

Did they scientists have to build mazes with wider corridors for the lardarse rodents to go through?
Was the cardboard tube from inside a toilet roll no longer wide enough to allow access, did they have to use those cardboard tubes that architects use to contain and transport their designs in?

Did the lab cat refuse to enter the lab any longer as the heavyweight mice were eyeing it hungrily?

Did the scientists advise the mice that they were now morbidly obese and then allow them to lie about all day watching Oprah and Tricia and Jeremy Kyle and sending out for Whopper meals with extra large fries and a litre of coke?

Or was the food left at the far end of the maze and the poor mice just had to wait, Pooh style, until they were thin enough to fit down the passages once again?

And how many of these mice blamed thier excessive weight gain on their genes?

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Eggbound In Finchley

Some have marvelled at the eggstreme diet that fuelled Margaret Thatcher’s jet propelled march to power in 1979. For myself, thinking about eating all those eggs makes me feel eggceptionaly nauseous. This sensation can best be described as a more intense version of the way I feel whenever I think about Margaret Thatcher. Still I am proved correct about one thing having always imagined the Iron Lady would be surrounded by a sulphurous miasma. It’s clear now this was not the satanic smell of brimstone but the farty smell of someone who lives on eggs.

Strange how those driven to eggcel in their chosen field, while they like to present a public persona of cold logic and superior intellect are all to often proved ready to eggshibit eggcentricities and embrace superstitions and crackpot beliefs it they think it will help them succeed.

We can at least understand one thing about Maggie though. Her bizarre diet eggsplains why she always sounded constipated when speaking.

A million brownie points each for egg jokes and puns in the comment thread

Vonderplanitz – yeah right

You know how everyone bangs on about the daffodils blooming eartlier, wasps and bees coming out of hibernation or whatever it is they do (I can’t believe they die off otherwise they must grow very quickly, we’ve had no end buzzing about during last week’s balmy days and they’re all the size of gobstoppers.)
Well I think April Fool’s Day is happening sooner this year too.
I honestly can’t remember where I saw this, I think it was saturday’s Times, maybe in one of the supplememnats.
Anyway it was commenting on the latest fad diet, which is apparently raw, rotten meat. Alleged afficionados of the regime were reporting on the health benefits, saying that it cleared up all medical conditons, from dry skin to constipation, to shingles.
The inventor of the “Primal Diet” claims it is what we would have eaten when we were neanderthal and so, therefore, is what we ought to be eating now we have evolved somewhat, don’t quite follow that logic myself, but there again, apart from working out that most things in moderation seems to work fine for me I haven’t invented any diets or cults so who am I to say?
One chap claims he has been on the diet for seven years and has never felt better.
He claimed it was best to start on the raw meet and then progress to the raw, rotten meat once your body has had a chance to acclimatise to the change.
And the inventor of this new fad?
A chappie who claims to be called Aajanus Vonderplanitz.

We can’t think of anything worse than the Primal Diet but this combination runs it close: Ice Cream and Chips

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Education: Pupils To Be Rewarded For Healthy Eating

A Scottish Education Authority, we learn, has introduced a scheme that will encourage children to take up a more healthy diet by awarding points for each healthy meal they eat. When pupils have earned enough points they can buy livestock, medical supplies or classroom equipment for third world villages and schools.

What a lousy idea. Scotland is said to have one of the worst diets in Europe and very big problems with obesity in both adults and children. Is bribery the right way to engage obese children though? We can just see Scottish children being inspired to give up their pizza, pies and deep fried Lard in order to eat salads and buy chickens and pencils for someone in a village on the other side of the world. Members of the Politically Correct Police may accuse us Boggart Bloggers of having a jaundiced view of childhood but we were all children ourselves once (not one of usobese however) and we remember what shallow, self – interested little monsters we were.

If educationalists really want to get children eating more healthily and developing good habits that will help them avoid becoming obese and having serious health problems in later life the bribes on offer will have to appeal not to altruism but to materialism. Even the offspring of the most politically correct parents are going to be more willing to eat a hundred and fifty salads or vegetarian chillis if there is an iPod to be had at the end of the ordeal.

A hundred and fifty salads represents a universe of suffering to a child reared on deep fried pizza and fish suppers. To ask them to go through such an ordeal just to send forty chickens – the basis of a hundred and sixty chicken suppers from the loval takeaway – to a village in Africa is too much. There is also the problem of understanding; children respond to tangible reward. Were anybody able to endure the ordeal of gathering the necessary three thousand two hundred points (thirty two thousand nine hundred vegetarian meals) they would surely feel entitled or receiving their thank you note to demand “Where’s ma fucking Yak, Jimmy?”

Getting children in the third world to eat healthily would be more practical. The diet is already healthy and simply giving them enough of it would be sufficient reward. Yaks, goats and chickens might be a goal worth attaining in such environments but in the western world most children would be more inspired by the promise of skateboards, Playstations, mountain bikes, Remote Control Pirate Ships (like the one I got for my 60th birthday*) and electronic gadgets. There are exceptions of course, young Ethiopia Zeitgeist – McDonald, homeschooled child of a couple of meeja professionals would still valiantly much his way throuch several million portions of crudities with hummus dip to get his hands on the first cloned Woolly Mammoth but in general the scheme is a loser.

*I mention this just to prove I am qualified to write about children.

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