COVID and the Government’s Descent Into Insanity

Picture: blogspot commons

Watching various newsfeeds today I note that on the advice of SAGE (Scientific Advisory Group for Emergencies) the UK government is considring various ways of extending legal limitations on public gatherings, including a possible national curfew to prevent people being away from their homes after 10pm. Do these scientific idiot who have been wrong bout everything from the beginning of the crisis until now, really have any influence over our elected leaders still .

Prime Minister Boris Johnson announced today that from Monday (14 September), social gatherings of more than six will be banned in England following a rise in confirmed coronavirus cases. Ministers, acting on advice from members of the SAGE group, blamed the increase on families interacting and young people having social lives, with the government predicting a ‘second wave’.

This is bollocks of course, young people, it has been proved, have almost zero chance of developing an infection if they come into contact with the virus, in fact an in depth look at the statistics shows that over the whole population the infection rate is extremely low and the kill rate is statistically insignificant. In spite of all this the new rules would give police the power to break up gatherings of more than six people both indoors and outside, according to The Times. This includes people’s private homes and gardens, pubs, parks, and restaurants. Family gatherings of more than six are also banned. Weddings, funerals, schools, team sports, and workplaces, however, will be exempt from the rules.

“We need to act now to stop the virus spreading. So we are simplifying and strengthening the rules on social contact — making them easier to understand and for the police to enforce,” Prime Minister Johnson is expected to say on Wednesday.

Failing to follow these fascistic rules will result in a £100 fine, doubling for repeat offences to a maximum of £3,200 under the new police state legistation. Police forces have already been criticised for overreacting to the outbreak earlier this year, including instances following dog walkers with drones or arresting little old ladies who pooped out to the corner shop for a tin of cat food. Last month the cops were accused of breaking up a child’s birthday party. Meanwhile, police have struggled to stop illegal raves in multicultural parts of London or ban mass Antifa and Black Lives Matter protests because of course Mayor Khan will accuse them of being ‘wayciss’ if they hold people of ethnic minorities to the same rules as are applied to whites.

Businessman Lord Alan Sugar was obviously not impressed by the new measures and hit out at the mainstream media for stirring up fear over coronavirus, as he urged people to return to work.“We’ve got to get back to some form of normality,” he said on This Morning on Tuesday, giving Britons credit that they know how to wash their hands and observe rules that will mean society can begin to function again.

When challenged by claims that a ‘second wave’ is coming, Lord Sugar said: “I’m sick and tired of watching CNN, Sky [News], Bloomberg, BBC, the lot, because all they do is cause panic among people. I’m not interested in any of this stuff, because you can switch the television on any time of day and the first thing you’ll see is more bad news.”

In other reports, The Telegraph said reported that ministers are considering a national curfew. A government source (?) told the paper that health secretary Matt Hancock had remarked to MPs on Tuesday how SAGE had noted that in Belgium, a country of just over 11 million, “the case rate has come right down when they put a curfew in place”. There is no suggestion that Belgium’s case rate came down because of the curfew, maybe they just learned that the tests are useless and stopped counting positive tests as cases (the test gives around 50% false positives).

How can SAGE be trusted to get anything right when there is an obvious conflict of interest thanks to the vaccine promoting Gates Foundation multi million dollar funding of Oxford University, Imperial College and the London School of Tropical Medicine which are on the SAGE board, and the personal friendship between Bill Gates and Hancock/Whitty/Johnson?

This is identical to ”leveraging policy and legislation” and ”building strong relationships with officials, politicians, NGOs and other actors” beloved by Open Society.

”Matt Hancock warns a ‘worst case scenario’ could see UK go back into nationwide lockdown or ‘very extensive’ local restrictions this winter – as SAGE warns of 85,000 deaths in second wave”

Looks like multi million dollar, multi billionaire related, conflicts of interest don’t matter in the UK and that everyone is happy to just look the other way because it’s so much easier and doesn’t rock the boat.

After all, where did Neil Ferguson’s funding come from?

None other than Bill Gates!

This is a SCAM! Amusingly even on BBC radio this morning, they were saying (to paraphrase) — ok, more cases … so what !
“Natural selection has meant that the stronger strains of the virus have killed their hosts – leaving the weaker strains to survive in hosts and be transferred in ever weaker strains” …. “until we will get the point where it is just another type of cold/cough that we will each get each year and recover from, just like the common cold” ….
Yup, that covers it !

The UK government can create whatever level of alleged virus “infection” they like by “adjusting” the qualifying PCR test iteration: the higher it is, the less infected an individual is, but the more meaningless is the resulting positive test. (Being infected is not a binary condition like pregnancy.)

The PCR test is like hunting for needles in a haystack by contriving that they double (say) every time a magic spell is uttered. If there was initially one needle, then eventually the spell will create a detectable amount of metal, so one counts the number of times the spell was cast. By reversing the calculation, one can work out how many needles there were originally.

Simplified, the qualifying PCR is the number times a tiny sample of the individual’s DNA has to be multiplied up during a chemical cycle in order that the amount of the offending viral DNA sequence reaches a critical value. But if it takes, say, 40 cycles, then the original amount of viral DNA is so small that it does not affect the patient nor does it make the patient likely to infect others. In fact i might residue DNA from a successfully fended off viral infection of which the individual was unaware. To claim that such an individual is “infected” is an abuse of common usage of the term: for all we know we might all be “infected”, if the qualifying iteration level is 40. This feature of PCR makes it an easy target for a government wishing to “adjust” the figures of infection (not deaths!) in order to achieve any desired outcome.

I wouldn’t be at all surprised if most of the population were found to test “positive”, if Hancock sets the PCR sufficiently high. Torture the data enough and it will confess to almost anything. By varying the qualifying level Hancock could create either a “spike” or a “successful outcome from masking”, or from mass vaccination, at will.

Curfew my arse.

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Latest COVID Scam move a step too far?

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Covid virus tests useless

As the Coronavirus rolls on with every trumpeted breakthrough fizzling out into a great big nothing, political leaders and media ‘influencers’ keep telling us we must follow the science. Yet with so much contradictory and conflicting evidence, perhaps it’s time we learned that “following the science” is the worst thing we can do? The Daily Stirrer has been telling you since the start of the farrago that scientist is a synonym of wanker,

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COVID19 PCR Tests are Scientifically MeaninglessPoliticians and “experts” scream and shout about testing and isolation being the way to halt the COVID 19 pandemic to a halt, but everything else they hsve told us about the disease has been absolute bollocks, why should this be any different? Well surprise, surprise, it isn’t any different. The idea that testing everybody ten times a day (OK I might be exaggerating for effect,) will do any good is just another diversionary tactic …

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Dogs With Human DNA

We have worked at building our reputation as a website that brings you news you will not see reported in mainstream media and this post is no exception.

Are we going to see a Boggart Blog exposé of mad scientists creating human / canine hybrids, you might well ask having formed a very reasonable interpretation of the title. Well no, control freak biologists conducting Nazi style experiments in creating man – dog superwarriors would be right up our street, but the story being covered in more prosaic than that. We are sticking with yesterdays’s main topic, sausages. Hot Dog’s in fact.

American Hot Dog (image source)

It is bad enough to think that, as we have told you many times in the past, these tasty snacks beloved of American teenagers, have as the ingredients providing most of the meat content, lips, arseholes, eyeballs, kidneys, spleens, insects, poo, horsemeat and those mysterious rubbery bits that are just impossible to chew.

OK, fair enough, we’ve all eaten shite when we are young, drunk and far away from our mothers’ refrigerators. But the horror of Hot Dogs does not end with lips and arseholes.

When, as a child, you used pester power to bully your parents into buying you a hot dog we are certain that as a last desperate line of defence before Mum and Dad caved in was the phrased (wailed in a plaintive voice), “Surely you don’t want to actually eat one of those do you? Have you any idea what goes into them? Chances are you didn’t and despite their reservations, neither did your parents.

The case is you see, that according to a recent study, over one in ten hot dogs contain stuff that should not be in a Hot Dog*, including ……………….. wait for it ……………….. human DNA. Yes there are dead bits of people (though not necessarily bits of dead people) in your Hot Dog. While lips, arseholes, insects and the rest might seem reasonable, any suggestion a hot dog contains human DNA sounds like a conspiracy theory or they synopsis of a dystopian movie.

According to a study for “The Hot Dog Report” by Clear Food, which provides molecular analysis of commonly purchased food brands, 14.4% of samples tested were euphemistically labeled “problematic.” According to the report: “Clear Food found human DNA in 2% of the samples, and in 2/3rds of the vegetarian samples.”

Hot dogs are often described as “mystery meat.” Now you know why.

*This article refers only to Hot Dogs as the snack consisting of a German sausage served in a split roll and dressed with mustard or ketchup. Those people currently campaigning for the legalisation of marriages between animals and humans may well know of a hot dog they would like to put their DNA into but we would rather not contemplate such things.

How many Parents?

Every news and comment website is busy with the three parent babies argument today, can’t be arsed myself actually, the only thing that strikes me about it is the familiar dishonesty of politicians and academic as they burble emotive, semtimental nonsense about DNA editing saving people from a lifetime’s suffering.

The fact is embryo screening which gives parents the choice of whether to bring a child into the world which may become severely disabled (having the gene associated with a hereditary problem does not necessarily mean one will develop the problem.) So although I think the development really only delivers another ego massage for scientists, the only problem I have with it is that supporters are using all sorts of euphemisms to disguise the true nature of what is being done.

IT’S EFFING EUGENICS, ALRIGHT.

Lots of ethical questions are raised and of course this sees representatives of the various religions claiming a moral right to speak on the issue. And generally these people are totally opposed, citing the sanctity of life (which is a tad hypocritical coming from senior clerics of the Abrahamic religions.

One comment I saw did make me laugh however, I don’t know whether I was supposed to or if it was indented as a serious point but if it wasn’t a joke it should have been. As the religion verus science argument raged, Tiddles, commenting in The Daily Telegraph asked:

“How many parents did Jesus have … 1, 2, or 3 ?

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Scientists Create 1st Living Organism From Artificial DNA

Aren’t scientists wonderful. They keep claiming they have done all this scary sci fi stuff but in reality they haven’t a clue what they’ve done, which is why they areblissfilly unaware it has been done before.

Source: Cryptogon

In true sci-fi fashion, a team of researchers from The Scripps Research Institute (TSRI) in La Jolla, Calif., has created a brand-new bacteria based on a genetic structure found nowhere on Earth.

According to lead researcher Floyd Romesberg, the feat involved artificially engineering a unique combination of DNA material — a combination not found in any living creature — and then successfully inserting it into a living cell that usually contains only natural combinations of DNA.

“Life on Earth in all its diversity is encoded by only two pairs of DNA bases, A-T and C-G,” Romesberg explained in an institute news release. “And what we’ve made is an organism that stably contains those two plus a third, unnatural pair of bases.”

“This shows that other solutions to storing [genetic] information are possible,” he added, “and, of course, takes us closer to an expanded-DNA biology that will have many exciting applications — from new medicines to new kinds of nanotechnology.”

Read more:

It’s like the time that American nutter Craig Venter claimed he had created a new life form in a test tube. Only he hadn’t, he’d taken the nucleus from one sperm germ and put it in a sperm germ from another species, having first removed all the genetic material from the host sperm germ. It was what’s known as a research grant phishing exercise.

The key phrase is “inserting it into a living cell” They did not create anything, they modified.

“the fashioning of a half-synthetic organism that could actually
replicate its unnatural self as long as scientists continuously supplied
it with the necessary molecular material.”
Sooo it can’t replicate its unnatural self then, lol

can’t wait to see what new types of virus and disease these insane bastards will eventually come up with to wipe out themselves and the rest of us.

But on a more serious note DNA is often compared by scientists to computer code, because they don’t undrstand computers but think “ooh, computers are scientific, I’m a scientist, therefore I must be a whizz with computers”.

There is a large portion of DNA which is not related to the physical expression of genes (brown eyes etc.) but to the control of the expression of the genes themselves (growing). In this respect that part of the genome can be seen as the program, and the remainder can be viewed as the data which the program processes.

Dinosaurs are said to be indirect ancestors of chickens yet if you put velociraptor DNA into a chicken egg nucleus, nothing will happen because the “code” in the chicken egg can no longer read the “data” in the velociraptor DNA, any more than my XP laptop can read old Word Perfect files or run Lotus 123 spreadsheets.

Inserting this new, designer “DNA” in an existing cell is like trying to run a Java program on a Commodore Pet.

If the artificial “DNA” is in some way “code”, then it’s code that doesn’t know how to “read” the nature’s data.

OK, that isn’t how a biologist would express it, I’m a computer man. So I read the article and understood got someone to explain it, then I put it into computerguythink.

The fact that the artificial DNA didn’t kill the cell suggests that it is not capable of interfering with the cell’s functioning, and therefore is inert, a foreign body in an existing species of living organism rather than a functioning part of a new species.

These guys have managed to add a data structure but without the corresponding code to do anything with it, i.e. this is Chemistry, not Biology. A typical genetic research puff piece aimed at gullible investors.

Which is par for the course with this wannabe god science.

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To My Fellow Human Beings, OINK!

Geneticists and anthropologists have been telling us for a long time that the closest genetic cousins of humans in the animal realm isDavid Attenborough The Chimpanzee. Recent advances in techniques for decoding paleolithic DNA have cast some doubt on that however.

While some researchers with a specific agenda claim to have found proof that humans were te result of knuckledraggers interbreeding with aliens, genetics expert Eugene McCarthy has offered the suggestion that modern man, now correctly termed the homo baconus PG-Tippus species began as the hybrid offspring of a male pig and a female chimpanzee.

This rather gobsmacking claim (put me right off my pork scratchings I can tell you) has been made by the University of Georgia professor who is also one of the worlds leading authorities on hybridisation in animals.

McCarthy’s bizarre theory is based on the fact that that while humans share genetic features with chimps, we also have characteristics not found in any other primates.

Dr McCarthy says these divergent characteristics are most likely the result of a hybrid origin at some point far back in human evolutionary history.

What’s more, he suggests, there is one animal that has all of the traits which distinguish humans from our primate cousins in the animal kingdom.

‘What is this other animal that has all these traits?’ he asks rhetorically. “The answer is Sus scrofa, the ordinary pig.’ No doubt mcCarthy thinks he has presented us with a revolutionary idea but in fact he is only reminding us of the scientists knack of jumping to conclusions without thinking things through properly.

What traits do we share with pigs but not with other primates? Getting drunk, playing silly games, writing poetry, creating art or music, worshipping celebrities or looking at the stars and thinking, “Who are we, how did we get here, is there anyone else out there, what’s the point of it all?” The sorts of things you see pigs doing every day? I think not.

Dr McCarthy elaborates his astonishing hypothesis in an article on Macroevolution.net, a website he curates. He is at pains to point out that that it is merely a hypothesis, but he presents compelling evidence to support it.

Scientists currently suppose that chimpanzees are humans’ closest living evolutionary relatives, because they have humany hands and faces and do humany things like wanking, fighting over potential sex partners and throwing turds at anyone who threatens their community. What? You’ve never heard of people throwing turds at social workers? You have obviously never visited a sink estate.

So are we part Chimp, part pig. Boggart Blog is very sceptical of this theory. On the other hand it would explain Edward and Tubbs, the characters from TV comedy

The League Of Gentlemen.

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Globetrotting Yeti

A British scientist believes he may have solved the mystery of the Yeti, the ape like hominid that allegedly roams the Himalayas and does wonders for tourism in Tibet.

Professor Bryan Sykes, a geneticist from the University of Oxford has found a match to DNA samples of the elusive creature.

Two modern day samples thought to belong to Yeti – one from the mummified remains of an animal shot by a hunter approximately 40 years ago, and another from a hair discovered in the bamboo forest 10 years ago – are a perfect match to the DNA of an ancient polar bear that roamed the earth 40,000 years ago.

When compared against the DNA from a jawbone of an ancient polar bear found in Svalbard, Norway, Sykes found a 100 percent match.

We doubt Prof. Sykes deductions, for one thing travel from Svarlbard to Tibet would have been almost impossible 40,000 years ago. Next, Yeti is an ape not a bear as all comic strip artists working on Rover, Hotspur and The Eagle comic in my youth were well aware.

Lastly of course, there are plenty of Yetis at large in western society. They have simply learned how to use hair removal products.

In The Beginning Aliens Got Funky With A Monkey And Created Borat

It has been a funny old week. The Iranians announced that they’ve invented a time machine, which doesn’t actually travel backwards and forwards in time but reads your fingerprint or analyzes your halitosis or something and tells you what’s going to happen to you (It does not go back in time which is a pity, I’d love to be 21 and dating Karen Margolis again (so long as she was 20 again) but as for what’s going to happen next year, WGAF?). Anyway I’m sure I put money in a machine that did something similar at Blackpool years ago.

The North Koreans have got a nuke mounted on a missile, mounted on a lorry which has driven to the east coast and is pointing towards the Pacific Ocean. Millions of fishes, turtles, whales, dolphins and a few paranoid Californians are worried. No need of course, Fat Boy Kim and his toy soldiers have not found out where the starter button is yet because the owner’s handbook is printed in Russian.

Meanwhile in Kazakstan, home of the legendary Borat, two scientists have stumbled upon the origins of human life in a discovery that will delight creation and evolution fans and star Trek fans alike.

Humanity is the product of alien breeding experiments.

Vladimir I Cherbak of al-Farabi Kazakh National University of Kazakhstan, and Maxim A Makukov of the Fesenkov Astrophysical Institute, say that we’ve been branded with an “intelligent signal” in our DNA that is of alien origin. This suggests they only examined DNA samples from politicians but they say that rather than looking out into the stars for extraterrestrial life, we should devote ourselves to unravelling our DNA in search of our inner alien.

Once fixed, the code might stay unchanged over cosmological timescales; in fact, it is the most durable construct known. Therefore it represents an exceptionally reliable storage for an intelligent signature. Once the genome is appropriately rewritten the new code with a signature will stay frozen in the cell and its progeny, which might then be delivered through space and time.

Close your eyes and read it again – you can almost her Mr. Spock saying it to Captain Kirk.

It’s a very pompous logical scientific way of saying “millions of years ago, a couple of alien swingers from Planet Krankie, Wayne and Tracy, came down to Earth, drank a bit too much primeval soup and decided to set up an orgy with the local inhabitants – who had tails. And they imprinted their how-to-build-a-civilization genes on our DNA.”

Course it’s not new. L Ron Hubbard came up with the a thy similar theory back in the 1950s.

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Britain’s busiest Grandad

I saw a gobsmacking headline today:

Scottish lecturer found to be ‘grandfather of everyone in Britain’

A retired lecturer who took a DNA test to find out where his ancestors came from has been found to be directly descended from the first woman on earth, who lived 190,000 years ago.

Researchers from Britain’s DNA, who carried out the tests, said the result meant that in genetic terms he could be described as the “grandson of Eve, or the grandfather of everyone in Britain”.

They were so surprised by the results that they phoned Mr Kinnaird, a widower who lives in the far north of Scotland, to break the news to him.

Boggart Blog have since tried to contact him but aparently he is on the run from agents of the Child Support Agency. What we would like to know is … How did he ever find time to do any lecturing?

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Your Shit Is Unique: More Shit Science From The No Shit Sherlock School Of Science

Boggart Blog must now be one of the leading sources of information on scientific research in the blogosphere. We have in the past reported on Snack Science,Mouse Science, Fish Science, Crocodile Science, Hockey Stick Science, Cosmic Science, Blundering Around In The Dark Science and many other backwaters of research that the mainstream media will not trouble themselves with.

From the satirical tone of many of our reports and the headline above you might well think we take the view that all science is shit but you would be wrong. There is a lot of research going on of which we wholly approve. Projects aimed at making fatsally’s and my cars use less fuel and go faster are always welcome. Some areas of medical research (though not the project to grow human sperm in mouse testicles) are very worthwhile especially if they offer the prospect of achieving the greatest good for the greatest number rather than simply swelling the profits of pharmaceutical corporations and giving nerdy, publicity seeking, money grubbing world domination freaks a crack at (Ig)Nobel Prizes.

One type of science not mentioned in the list above and of which we wholly disapprove is the science of stating the absolutely effing obvious. An example of this is the scientific breakthrough of the week revealed in the online science mag livescience.com Your poo is unique) They publish a report claiming your shit is as unique as your fingerprint or your DNA.

Really? No shit Sherlock. After spending the last few years telling us we are all automatons, preprogrammed machines whose individuality is an illusion and for who a one-size-fits-all solution to every problem can be provided by “science” now they seem to be falling over themselves to tell us how different and unique we are. Obviously they science community have mustered enough nous to understand that we know we are not all the same, we are not just a number or a set of numbers and if they keep insisting we are we will believe nothing the blinkered, reductionist little shits tell us. And so they are finally getting their shit together and starting to acknowledge the truth.

A recent study by neurologists showed we are not all biological computers who if we can be taught to give up religion, superstition, love of football, golf, reading, beer or music could be reduced to mathematical equations but highly complex life forms driven more by experience and emotion than by logic and reason. As if that did not come as a big enough blow gastrologists (shitologists) have found the scientific maxim “everybody’s shit stinks” in not necessarily true. Everybody’s shit is different, some stinks to high heaven, some smells like a freshly mown meadow and legend has it that former England footballer Gary Lineker’s was scented with perfume.

The research shows the bacteria that colonise the intestine are even more unique and identifier than DNA. While identical twins will share identical DNA according to experts, the genetic skidmark of faecal matter is absolutely unique to the individual. This PooNA is formed of viruses that inhabit the digestive tract. Viruses consist of genetic material packaged inside a capsule structure and can only reproduce inside a host cell. Thus the viruses formed inside and individual and passed out of the body in poo can never be the same in two individuals.

The report goes on to say:

“The study sheds light on the largely unexplored world of viruses living in the lower intestine. Most of these “friendly” viruses, which don’t cause diseases, make their home inside bacteria already living in the gut. These viruses are thought to influence the activities of gut microbes, which among their other benefits, allow us to digest certain components of our diets, such as plant-based carbohydrates, that we can’t digest on our own.”

Unexplored worlds eh?. This is really clever stuff. Wasn’t their a movie once about a team of scientists who shrank themselves and took a trip in a microscopic submarine through somebody’s veins? We could build a similar vehicle to explore somebody’s poo. I guess it would have to be more like one of the boring machines used in making tunnels. Constipation can get pretty bad in people who don’t get enough fibre.

So as we the punters have been telling these reductionist scientists for years we are all different, we are all individuals (Haven’t they seen Monty Python’s Life Of Brian) what will we learn that may be of benefit to the human race from this new awareness of the way our individualism is expressed through our ploppies? Not much apparently, but we will learn a lot about the lifestyle of intestinal viruses and how they interact with intestinal bacteria.

Which is nice.

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Bullshit Sherlock

More Demented Mice Science – With Mobile Phones

On of the reasons Boggart Blog loves scientists so much is the way that like religious fanatics they just refuse to give up on totally bonkers ideas. Ideas that the one that convinces them making mice behave in totally unnatural ways can teach us valuable lessons about humanity. Perhaps these people were brought up on the stories of Beatrix Potter and thus have a deep seated belief in anthropomorphism.

When we question mouse science the scientists will say “Ah but mice and humans share quite a lot of DNA. This is true, and amoebae also share a surprising amount of DNA with humans to but we don’t expect to see an amoeba that has read Shakespeare, understands modern financial systems and can tell Chateau Petrus from Sneaky Pete* any time soon.

The extent to which we are programmed by our DNA has been vastly overstated as neuroscientists recently learned. We may by act of will change inherited behaviour traits – which is what Hindu mystics have been saying for thousands of years. This more or less demolished one of the trendy new sciences, evolutionary psychology, much favoured by our very favourite sub species of scientists, the boy-scientists hose wide eyed enthusiasm for all things scientific overrides critical thinking, logical deduction and common sense.

It is with considerable joy then that hot on the heels of yesterday’s posts concerning mice, fry ups and the eternal quest of Daily Mail readers to find the Holy Grail that will guarantee they have prodigiously talented babies, we report another project that has set out to equate mouse physiology with human physiology. Scientists are claiming they are on the verge of achieving a breakthrough in the effort to find a treatment for Alzheimers disease after achieving good results with mice “programmed to get Alzheimer’s” by giving them mobile phones.

Laying aside the issue of how anybody can know a mouse has Alzheimer’s or the outrageous assumption that mice whose DNA has been fiddled with to pre-dispose them to Alzheimer’s are certain to develop it, because we have asked such questions before only to be told “you just don’t understand science,” (Maybe not, but we understand mice.) we must ask what is the point of giving mice mobile phones when they have no thumbs with which to text?

Boy scientists in Florida claim to have found mobile phone radiation helps improve the memory of mice programmed to develop Alzheimers. Al least they are not funded by UK taxpayers money. But if the mice are programmed to get Alzheimers disease they have not actually got it have they. No. Because mice don’t get Alzheimer’s disease because they’re mice not human.

So let’s guess how the process works because a lot of the science is rather vague although the bits about “we need lots of money and some jollies to the Seychelles, Paris and Amsterdam to carry out field studies” are quite specific. OK, you programme a mouse to get Alzheimer’s then clamp a little cellphone to its ear and send digital signals into its brain to override the “Get Alzheimer’s Now” routine in the program.

Sounds almost as likely as finding a cure for the common cold.

*Chateau Petrus – The world’s most expensive wine
Sneaky Pete – American slang for cheap, low quality wine fortified with illegally distilled liquor