After The Goldrush In Rural France

Let’s see if Populis can manage not to lose my content this time …

Hippies and New Age tree shaggers have set up camps in the shadow of the 4,000ft summit of the Pic de Bugarach in south-western France.

The mountain which is honeycombed with caves, is thought to have inspired the Steven Spielberg movie Close Encounters Of The Third Kind and the classic novel Journey To The Centre Of The Earth.

The nutters believe that in a scenarion reminiscent of the Neil Young song After The Goldrush, on December 21st this year a spaceship will emerge from the bowels of the earth (I’ll rephrase that; emerge from the depths of the mountain,) and hover above their camp sucking them up in a tractor beam into the ship to be taken away from this dying planet or as the song has it, “carrying Mother Nature’s silver seed to a new home in the sun.” (full lyric)

One of the hippies who had quit his job and abandoned his family to join the throng on their journey into space told Boggart Blog:

” “There are serious things going on here, I want to be part of it. These things exist and people have the right to know.”

Another, who who declined to give a name was not fully convinced that the world will end on December 21 but said: “I do think the capitalist system is going to collapse then.”

Patrice Etienne, who runs an organic cafe (with a special line in mushroom soup?) in the village, is certain the mountain holds a major secret.

He said: “People walking on the mountain report that their cameras jammed when they tried to take pictures. They heard strange noises coming from underground.

“We have seen military aircraft, police and soldiers. It’s like a Spielberg movie. They are looking for something. There is something in this mountain, definitely.”

He spoke the truth: Police and troops have been drafted into the village and its environs and the mountain has been made a no-go area for five days from December 19.

Inspecteur Clouseau of the Deuxieme Bureau told our reporter, “Eet is seulment a precaution. Zere are beaucoup be nutters wandeuring around ze mountain, wheut eef one of zem should let euf a beumb to expeuse ze space sheep. We are respeunsible feur these imbeciles and European Euman Rights leur deus not allow us to shoot zem.”

But the end-of-the-world crowd say the ban on climbing the mountain is nothing to do with safety and the military is really there to investigate dozens of recent UFO sightings and make first contact with alien leaders and invite them to join the Bilderberg Group.

They claim the authorities actions prove the area is a hotbed of alien activity in the run-up to Doomsday — when the Mayan calendar’s 5,125-year cycle finishes.

Boggart Blog thinks these people are just a bunch of harmless fantasists but we have moved our office Chritmas party to from December 23 to 20th just in case.

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Global Procrastination Day To Be Put Off Again

Yesterday was global procrastination day. Organisers put it off until today however, no reason was offered but perhaps they felt there had been a proliferation of events, pie week, womens’ day, everybody hates Chris Evans day (that one occurs every day) Red Nose Day, red arse day (celebrated by Chimps apparently), Jim Davidson for boss of the equal rights commission day (I’m being silly now) and world day of prayer, that procrastinators leaders though we could do with a break.

Today however is Boat Race Day. Whose boat race we will celebrate isn’t clear, I hope it’s Billie Piper’s, those beestung lips are very attractive. We also have to cope with lights out to save the planet hour starting at 8:30 this evening.

What with watching the boat race, the Rugby and cricket on television and remembering not to switch the lightes off because things like that are just a wank for tree huggers we’ll be so busy we might have to put off celebrating procrastination day again. Boggart Blog will not bother to bring you further news as it breaks.

Procrastination Day

Evidence (As If You Needed Any) That All The Green Movement Are Insane

Earth Hour is an event that is aimed at raising awareness of climate change. The idea is we all switch off the lights, tele, computers, highly addictive internet web sites life Facebook, life support machines, trains, cars, aircraft engines, and everything that causes carbon emissions for one hour to remind us what a very very lot of harm we are doing to the environment by burning fossil fuels.

It may also remind people what a nightmare life would be if we did not burn fossil fuels.

Earth Hour has been celebrated for the last four years and has the support on the United Nations, all leading politicians, scientists, academics, Bono, and lots of celebrities you never even knew existed.

This year’s earth hour will be on Saturday, March 26 and will begin at 8:30 pm. Yes that is during opening hours, I told you these people are insane didn’t I?

Left leaning mainstream media, accurate, truthful and factual as ever reported last year the lights went out all round the world for an hour as they have every years since Earth Hour began.

You never noticed? You’ve never even heard of earth hour?

Well neither have most people it seems. It is the kind of utterly fucking pointless meaningful gesture that delusional cupid stunts like Bono and Madonna and Barack Obama think makes a difference but everyone who lives in the real world can’t be arsed with.

A few tree , and pachouli – reeking weirdie – beardies switching off their electricity for hour doesn’t make the slightest difference of course, except maybe to the poor bastards whose life support system is switched off to ‘save the planet’.

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Scientists Blame Ancient Goddess For Volcanic Dust

We have often taken scientists to task here at Boggart Blog for the way they are trying to put their irrational faith in reason, logic and order into the place a religion. Our barbed-tongue-in-cheek comments have provoked some furious responses along the lines of:

“How dare you question and ridicule science and scientists. We are tireless seekers after truth and can in no way be compared to the superstitious and gullible people who cling to religious faith. You ignorant Boggart Bloggers obviously do not understand science or you would realise our science is immortal, invisible, ineffable and infallible.”

Right so. But in that case what are we to make of a story I found today that reports scientists suspect there is a link between the volcanic eruption in Iceland with all its attendant disruption and climate change (Scientists call for research on climate link to geological hazards ). One of the theories put forward is that the huge amounts of volcanic ash being belched out and projectile vomited into the upper atmosphere are nature’s way of stopping heat reaching the earth’s surface and causing more global warming.

This is on a par with the theory floated when the Large Hadron Collider kept breaking down that the future was reaching back into the present and sabotaging it which became known as the ‘some poor deluded fool has been taking Dr. Who a tad too literally’ theory.

Just think though, after years of telling us Gaia theory was just the incoherent babbling of spaced out hippies are these scientists really trying to jump on a bandwagon that is obviously gathering momentum the way they did when after sneering at climate change warnings for twenty years they suddenly jumped on the band wagon as soon as they thought there were research grants, awards, book deals, fame and glory to be had.

When you look at it like that climate scientists make used car salesmen look like paragons of moral rectitude.

Either that or these people are further out of touch with reality than Scientologists.

For the sake of balance we must report that Islamic Teologists in Iran have blamed scantily clad women for the recent spate of seismic activity and weather related catastrophes. So, the earth goddess Gaia and Lady Gaga, its six of one and half a dozen of the other.

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More humour every day at Boggart Blog

Beatles To Greet Visiting Aliens

News today that a Beatles song is to be beamed into space the help aliens learn there is intelligent life on Earth.

Across The Universe, the chosen track, is a great song. But as we don’t know anything about these notional aliens and bearing in mind they might be Thetans eager to turn us all into Scientologists, would it not be better to beam out We All Live In A Yellow Submarine or I Am The Walrus to convince them we are all insane.

I am the eggman,
you are the eggmen,
I am the walrus,
Goo goo ga – joob