Blowin’ In The Wind

After a dismal few days performancewise here, withing forever for things to hapen etc. I’m low on enthusiasm. So to provide today’s smile I raided my friend reality-speaks at bubblws whose latest post was titled My Most Embarrassing moment:

It was evening, February 25th 2009, my friend’s Grandma’s funeral service in Church. My friends Grandma was a kind and loving lady. Everybody knew her. She used to make us friends apple tarts often, she specialized in sweet treats. A large crowd had turned up in Church. The coffin was kept near the altar for everybody to pay their last respects. Our Church is dome shaped and has excellent natural acoustics. One person-at-a time, everybody went towards the coffin with flowers or cards with personal messages. I was carrying tulips, Granny loved them.

As I reached the coffin I leaned forward bending to place the flowers at the feet of Grandma who lay dead with a smile on her face. And then it happened, as I stretched bending forward to place the tulips, I let out a loud fart.

It kind of escaped without warning. I could hear the echoes of my own fart in the silence that was broken; shocked, I couldn’t think of places to hide, I pictured myself in the coffin as I looked at Grandma. The brave heart that I am, I turned around to go back to my seat which was in the second last row.

As I walked I noticed my fart had caused a flutter, the shocked expressions said it all. Youngsters had smiles on their face while the elders frowned. I quietly took my seat. Alfred, my friend who was seated beside me was placing his face between his legs to conceal his bouts of laughter. He said “Dude! You Rock! Did Grandma wake up! The next day we friends got together and had a hearty laugh.

Is It really That Easy?

Journalist, Carol Midgley, has written a book for children entitled,”My Family and other Freaks”.

The book is the anguished musings of a pre-teen child who suffers abject mortification anytime any of her family breathe by the sound of things.

In the children’s section of the paper today Mrs Midgely writes a light hearted guide for children to present to their parents to help said parents avoid being soooo embarrassing, outling potential embarrassments and the effect on the child.

These include not using hip language; not dancing, ever, never mind at weddings; not dressing inappropriately for ones age.

The one that caught my eye was “… and never say to your eldest, ‘How’s my big boy/girl today?’ This could a) make them vomit and b) make them want to leave home.”

Really Carol? Is that all I have to do to ensure BBC is asking to borrow a suitcase?

Hmmm, if you’ll excuse me I just have to go and find out how my big boy is today….

Embarrassing Dad Of The year Award

Yes we all know it, they can make you curl up and cringe, especially once you hit those hormonal teenage years. But it doesn’t stop there does it.
At the risk of upsetting the Tom Daley fan(s) again there he was at his press conference after winning gold and in bustles his Dad, grabbing a microphone and asking for a cuddle. Not now Dad.
But Tom got off quite lightly it appears.
The most Embarrassing Dad of the year Award 2009 must surely go to Ryan O’neil, the 96 year old actor, who, at the funeral of his long term partner, Farah Fawcett, tried to hit on a much younger, long legged blonde, not realising it was his estranged daughter Tatum.
Yuk! Yuk! Yuk!