Eurovision Bearded Lady, A Victory For Leftist Hypocrisy

What a gay day, as the wonderful Larry Grayson used to quip. The bearded transvestite who won Eurovision has inspired much ribald humour, mostly outside the M25 it has to be said, while the hairy testicled ladies and limp wristed eunuchs inside the tarmac border of the the land of metrosexuality seem to think the ever more risible Eurovision Song Contest, by choosing a wierdo winner has struck a blow for … erm, something.

And of course the very best way to wind up lefties is to take the piss out of one of their politically correct darlings. So we had a field day with Conchita Wurst and his superfluous sausage.

Actually what it struck a blow for was hypocrisy. While media luvvies blubbered about how wonderful it was that “the people of Europe could unite behind such a brave contestant who dared to be different, some nations who thought their entries had had a rough deal were less than happy. And rightly so, if the bookies hadn’t stopped taking bets on who would win as soon as the bearded transvestite was announced, I would have placed a substantial wager on the bloke in a frock for the simple reason that in the Left’ Liberal Progressive Brave New Weird we live in, the behaviour of those creative and imaginative media types is utterly predictable so bearded lady with a dick could not possibly lose. Unfortunately William Hill, Ladbrokes, Corals, Paddy Power, Victor Chandler and Fred Done all knew this too.

Great isn’t it, how the luvvies who claim intellectual and moral superiority over those who are not reality challenged with always behave as a herd.

Conchita said as she accepted the trophy . ‘We are unity and we are unstoppable’. (Unity? George Orwell called it something else.) Unstoppable was right though, he – yes let’s use the dreaded ” H ” Word, Conchita has a dick – could only have lost against two bearded, Black African, Muslim ladies or a black, Irish, dwarf, crack addicted one legged lesbian, bipolar single parent.

Just help me out here, wasn’t a similar speech once given by another Austrian freak who sported considerably less facial hair.

Just as a matter of interest and because I know there are some people labouring under the misapprehension that the winner is decided by popular vote, WRONG! Its 50/50 public vote and panels of media luvvies experts. The Poles, who won the popular vote by a distance while the panel vote was unanimous, as if they had all been given instructions if you know what I mean possums. Some blabbermouth in Poland leaked that fact today.

I reckon we should all boycott the BBC and put the fuckers out of work, they’ve been taking the piss too long. But then I’ve been lobbying for us to pull out of the Eurovision fiasco for thirty years or more. Calling it a song contest is fraud.

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Civilisation Isn’t Over Til The Bearded Lady Sings

Last week at Victory Day military parades in Moscow and around the Russian Federation, The Kremlin displayed an awe inspiring array of Military Hardware:

russian hardware

There were ranks upon ranks of formidable tanks.

missile launcher

… and this monstrous item for launching an ICBM

mystery weapon

… and stuff that, well if there’s a war
we’ll find out soon enough just what it’s for.

conchita wurst

An the EU’s response to this? The Eurovision song contest put Conchita Wurst, a bearded transvestite upfront on the television.

(Fair play to the lad though, he’s go his wurst well tucked in.)

“Ooooh that’s one in the eye for nasty old Putin,” screamed the media luvvies. Yeah right. I just hope Putin does not decide to give us ‘one in the eye’ back because if he does we’re fucked.

Can’t help but feel Lily Savage would scare them more.

Bonnie Tyler To Sing UK Eurovision Song Contest entry

I heard today that husky voiced rock chick Bonnie Tyler (our second Tyler of the day) is to sing the UK’s Eurovision Song Contest entry this year.

bonnie tyler

Boggart Blog was never a big fan, we throught she was Rod Stewart in drag, but we plead with her;

Bonnie lass, don’t do it, please, please don’t do it. Here’s why …

It’s a heartache, nothing but a heartache
Hits you when it’s too late, hits you when you’re down
It’s a fools’ game, nothing but a fool’s game
Standing in the cold rain, feeling like a clown

It’s a heartache, nothing but a heartache
Love him ’till your arms break, then he’ll let you down
It ain’t right with love to share
When you find he doesn’t care for you
It ain’t wise to need someone as much as I depended on you

Oh, it’s heartache, nothing but a heartache
Hits you when it’s too late, hits you when you’re down
It’s a fool’s game, nothing but a fool’s game
Standing in the cold rain, feeling like a clown

It ain’t right with love to share
When you find he doesn’t care for you
It ain’t wise to need someone as much as I depended on you
Oh, it’s a heartache, nothing but a heartache
You love him ’till your arms break, then he’ll let you down
It’s a fool’s game, nothing but a fool’s game
Standing in the cold rain, feeling like a clown

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Engelbert Humperdinck – the new British pop idol

We were stunned to hear this morning that 75 year old cheese merchant Engelbert Humperdinck may be representing Britain in the Eurovision Song Contest.

This could be a ploy by the BBC to make sure we don’t win of course. The prize for the winning nation is they have to bear the enormous expense of hosting the extravaganza the following year.

The most suggessful nation in the annual schlockfest has been Ireland. Economists blame Ireland’s financial collapse on their winning the event so many times. The Irish have now taken to entering joke acts to make sure they do not win again. One year their entry was sung by a stuffed parrot, another year they entered an even more talentless act, Jedward.

Sadly standards have slipped so far, so fast that Jedward were almost contenders.

Now what about our chances. Humperdinck was a good singer in his day, he has sold 150 million records and performed in Las Vegas for years. But he’s 75. Will people vote for a man on a zimmer frame. Will he have to ride to the stage on a mobility scooter.

Another thing that could weigh against old Eng. is he has had way too much cosmetic surgery, some say he has undergone more operations to preserve his looks than an Egyptian Mummy. The old guy looks freaky.

Can’t see that being a vote winner somehow.

face3
Englebert Humperdinck before his latest cosmetic surgery procedure

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Jedward Proof Of Dumbing Down

Earlier this week we learned that the government regulator Ofqual is to investigate falling standards in schools, some bright spark having noticed there is a contradiction between the education industry’s claimes that rising grades and record numbers of exam passes each year are due to excellent teaching standards and pupils getting brighter and the complaints from employers that school leavers with a million A levels to their name can’t read, write or brew tea.

Boggart Blog has eidence to put before the enquiry that proves the world is dumbing down

In the last century, seeing as we are coming over all nostalgic today, Scottish twins Craig and Charlie Reid aka The Proclaimers entertained the world with their music, singing hit songs like Letter From America and 500 Miles.

Last night in the Eurovision Song Contest Irish twins Jonathan and Edwards Grimes aka those two little twats of the X Factor, aka Jedward entertained the world with their silly hairstyles and idiotic jumping around.

QED.

There Is Only One Man Dumber Than The Eurovision Song Contest

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Goodbye Eurovision

Last year when I posted about the grossly expensive crapfest that is called The Eurovision Pong Contest people were telling me I should lighten up and enjoy it for its wonderful high kamp* qualities.

OK guys, I know all about the “so bad its good” thing, but the ESC goes way beyond that and is so bad its really really shite. We have now seen a Serb dressed as fat Roland from Grange Hill just edge out a Ukrainian Friend of Dorothy dressed in as The Tin Man in drag for this year’s title. Both were singing absolutely dire songs.

Being unconsciously kamp can be entertaining. Being consciously kamp can be very entertaining. Trying like fuck to be kamp and failing is just sad.
So let’s applaud the Italians who had enough dignity to walk out.

*kamp: the correct spelling of the term camp, it comes from an abbreviation the Metropolitan Police used to write on charge sheets to indicate the suspect was “known as male prostitute.”

The twee types who will be shocked by this will also be shocked to learn the favourite “bad word” of Daily Mail readers, “naff” is also an acronym. In Polari, the gay sloang used before the days of consenting adults in private it means “not available for fucking” or in a word, straight.

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Eurovision Embarrassment

I saw on TV last night, quite by accident you understand, a profoundly mediocre song and dance act called erm… well they were called something. These people believe they have modelled themselves on Bucks Fizz but trust me, all things being relative, they made Buck’s Fizz look good.

This jolly little band of stage school graduates could easily have slotted into one of the excruciating variety shows TV channels used to stuff their weekend schedules with in the 1950s. Dressed as airline cabin crew they performed a trolley dance using specially choreographed hostess trolley bought at great expense from Argos, while singing a meaningless ditty about what a jolly time they have being airline cabin crew.

This song will represent us in the Eurovision Song Contest. What are we doing to our reputation among our international partners. They haven’t forgiven us for invading Iraq yet.
The whole thing was so shoddy and tacky and end-of-the-pier that I found myself expecting X – factor Panto-boy Ray effing Quinn to pop up.

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Death Metal my arse

Nothing good has come out of the Eurovision Song Contest since Dana International put an end to our perception of trasnsexuals as six foot four inch lorry drives in dodgy syrups. Until last night that is.
I’m not talking about the Gwar rip off band who won (anyone else remember Gwar, they were brilliant) despite having ex Lord-Of-The-Rings costumes they picked up fort a fiver each in a car boot sale near Pinewood Studios and a song that easily surpassed the minimum blandness regulation.
Death metal my arse – come back Napalm Death, all is forgiven.
No, the good thing as I noticed while my wife frantically hopped between the ESC and the Prince’s Truss concert was that several contestants including the hapless UK entry, a Gary Glitter impersonator in all but appearance, were rappers.
RAP MUSIC HAS ARRIVED IN THE EUROVISION SONG CONTEST…..!

RAP MUSIC IS DEAD…..!