You Couldn’t Make It Up

A few days ago this blog reported on the case of Vancouver man Jonathan Yaniv, who identifies as Jessica and wears little girl style party frocks. In politically correct Canada this is sufficient for him to be legally recognised as a woman.

Revelling in his new, legally but not visually affirmed feminine identity Jessica, who in his male persona as Jonathan is a convicted sex offender, has been harassing female beauticians who refuse to give him a bikini like wax job because – well in short he doesn’t have a bikini line, he still has his big, hairy old male dangly bits. And some ladies in the beauty business do not wish to handle such ugly things.

OK, so why am I repeating all this when it was reported last week? Well, because today I came across this news item at Press For Truth:

“’Jessica’ Yaniv UNHINGED! Press For Truth ASSAULTED At Tribunal Hearings!!! Jonathan Yaniv (who goes by the name ‘Jessica’) wants to FORCE other women to legally have to touch his genitals. While covering the tribunal hearings Dan Dicks of Press For Truth politely requested an interview but was met with an aggressive reaction which led to an assault.”

The whole story is beyond sanity of course, but what is so brilliant here is that the online news site reporter sent to cover the story of the man who wanted a bikini line wax on his cock and balls is called Dan Dicks!

You couldn’t make it up.

And for all you red blooded men out there, here’s another look at the lovely Jessica who, I’m sure you will agree, looks as feminine and alluring as a spotted dick pudding.



13-year-old fights school policy allowing ‘trans girls’ into girls’ changing room
February 7, 2020 (Paul Smeaton, LifeSiteNews) – A 13-year-old UK girl is taking her local council to court after it issued guidance that would allow boys who identify as “transgender girls” to access girls’ bathrooms, changing rooms, and dormitory rooms on student trips.
The guidance was issued last year as part of the Oxfordshire County Council’s “Trans Inclusion Toolkit for School 2019” project.


Men Menstruate? Latest Dickheadedness From The Legion Of The Dickless

Toni the Tampon (left) and friend. The one on the right looks like the child of an onion ring that mated with a hedgehog (picture source)

Yes you read that headline right, the GayBLTQetc. lobby propagandists are now pushing the most preposterous idea yet in their determination to make unequal things equal. A colouring book aimed at children in the age range that use colouring books floats the idea that men can have periods. The book, which invites kids to colour in images of Toni the Tampon, Marina the Menstrual Cup and Sebastian the Sponge explains to the five to eight year olds that men who have once been ladies and have decided to keep their baby making kit even though they sport facsimile of a man’s dangly bits created by surgery rather than nature, but nontheless are real women, can have periods just like ladies who wear skirts and brassieres and high heeled shoes and lipstick. The narrative such as it is also explains that ladies who were originally men get – well I suppose you’d have to call them virtual periods really, quite how this happens is not clear but I hope these is no tomato ketchup involved. Milo Yiannopoulis reports on this latest insanity from the politically correct brigade .

After giving us the basic, shocking details of this latest display of self regarding stupidity from those who ‘identify’ as left wing, the alt_right movement’s favourite gay man then goes on to explain that the creators of this book were concerned that when the time came to learn about reproductive biology (science, right?)  biological process involved in the female menstrual cycle and how they felt it was important that little boys did no feel left out when the subject was being covered.

If you have been around internet comment threads as long as I have you will have noticed that the people who promote this transgender shite are the same ones who, when anyone raises the topic of the very obvious flaws in climate science that have led to all the predictions of catastrophe being wrong, will call us ‘science deniers’ and scream that people who are not scientists don’t understand how science works so cannot question science or post that quote from the world’s worst scientist Neil DeGrasse Tyson, “science is true whether or not you believe in it,” are the same as those who now try to tell us that somebody who was born male can have peroids, calling it ‘transphobic’ when anyone points out the truth that such a person is not a real biological woman and cannot ever have periods. Likewise these science believers (who are as deluded as Scientologists) tell that someone who has had an imitation penis fashioned from a bit of fat and gristle and takes lots of hormones so she can grow a bit of bumfluff on her chin is a real man even though he/she/zi/it cannot ever produce sperm.  I’m not an expert on biology but my understanding is that the cause of a woman’s period is the breaking down of the NATURAL lining of the NATURAL uterus . Turning a penis inside out does NOT create a NATURAL uterus, with a NATURAL lining to  shed. For the university brainwashed and those who believed the liar, embelzler, fraud, traitor and war criminal Hillary Clinton could have been an adequate President of the United states, no natural uterus means NO BLEEDING!No bleeding equals a very young female, a female past the first flush of middle age or something other than a female.

It’s fucking science you idiots.

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Wonder Woman Goes Goth

The new look Wonder Woman (see below) is a bit of a contradiction. If the idea of replacing the star spangled panties, oh so 1950s scarlet bustier and the whole per playboy sexless glamour thing with something less overtly aimed at homonally charged adolescent boys who would find anything sexually alluring, the new Goth look just doesn’t hack it. Modern adolescent boys are no less hormonal but are more sophisticated than their 1950s counterparts and the little goth cutie on the right is going to directly target their fantasies.

To my experienced eye she looks much sexier. This might of course be something to do with my having dated a proto goth (or beatnik as we called them back then) for nearly a year back in 1969. I was 21 she was 34. Things like that make a big impression on a young man and I have certainly had a soft spot for goth girls since then.

If the new look has turned sterile sexless, starry-pantied Wonder Woman into a hottie vampire vixen with superpowers, what might a fashion makeover do for Superman?

For over 70 years the man of steel has unashamedly worn his red speedos over his blue tights as if to say, “I don’t care how ridiculous you think I look, I’m Superman and I can crush your skull between my thumb and forefinger so fuck right off.

For those who like to speculate about fashion trends we can’t see Superman switching to boxer shorts worn outside his trousers, that would just look naff. Nor do we recommend he wears those ridiculous knee length baggy shorts with the hanging crotch and low waistband that shows six inches of bum cleavage. Baggy, low waist shorts was a look favoured by my son and some of his friends for a while until us Dads, finding ourselves forced to be cruel to be kind had to take our boys for a pint and say “Look son I know you think silly trousers are kewel, like Niggaz With No Dress Sense or somebody but really showing arse cleavage is not the way to get laid, you just look a twunt.

No, Superman’s pants over trousers look must stay if only to remind us of the kind of chutzpah you’re going to need if called on to save the world.

As for the new Emo Wonder Woman, if she would like to come round to my house I promise her the multiple orgasms will not destroy her super powers.

Wonder Woman: Original versus New Look…

WWorig WWnew

More humour every day at Boggart Blog


A Job For The Boys: Lap Dance Researcher.

The University of Leeds School of Social Science is advertising for a researcher to undertake research into “The rise and regulation of lap dancing and the place of sexual labour and consumption in the night time economy.” Among the qualities considered essential for the successful applicant is: “prior experience of conducting research in the female sex industry”

And what could that mean? Your guess is probably as good as ours unless you are terminally naive.

Being an equal opportunities employer the University cannot state that male applicant only will be interviewed but this is surely a job for the boys.

And being “scientific” in a sort of unscientific way as it involves counting things and adding them up, a process that is passed off as science in these dumbed down times, it could well be ideal for a newly unemployed climate change scientiist as the data the job holder has to work with will bear no relation to reality.

This post is sure to upset some science fans so I’d better head them off by saying the problem with climate change science was always that it tried to use linear calculations (mathematical modelling) to predict non linear processes. James Lovelock, a proper scientist rather than a clerk, pointed this out many years ago.

Ig-nobel Science

More humour every day at Boggart Blog

Women In Labour

Because some people insist on reading Boggart Blog as a personal diary of our innermost thoughts and feelings rather that the spoof it is intended to be read as, can I just remind you on this article I don’t actually believe in the stuff I write here, it is satire.

Last week (the news was a tad slow in arriving) 85 female Labour Party activists descended like harpies on London for the 2009 Labour Party women’s summit. You missed this inspirational and life affirming event didn’t you? Shame on you all.

There is, I always feel, something deeply unappealing about female Labour activists. It is perhaps to do with their earnest demeanour, their patronising tendency to put one right should one stray “off message” and say something ever so slightly politically incorrect, their intensity and their irritating habit of blaming all the troubles of the world on “unreconstructed” middle class white men. Though there are no doubt some attractive Labour women (no names spring to mind but there must be some) for warmth and a sense of fun The Liberal Democrats have a monopoly on political hot ladies – and even theirs are only slightly warm. Find links to pictures of Lib-Dem warmies at this Boggart Blog post

When middle class white men all have to have chips implanted in our brains that override all male instincts, are regularly injected with female hormones to inhibit sexist behaviour, interest in football and a taste for full English breakfasts and are modified with a few African genes so we can all dance the world will be perfect will it not?

(Snapshot of a post Apocalyptic scene: a Politically Correct Labour Female (PCLF) and her reconstructed mate are surveying a bleak, post apocalyptic landscape hoping to find shelter, food, water and a non – sexist, non racist commune to join when a band of ugly mutants appear over the skyline.

“Oh darling”, says the PCLF, you must save us in a non – violent, right-on, politically correct way from the evil, flesh eating mutants .”

“But how, vis – a – vis their penchant for dressing in animal skins, total lack of interest in personal hygiene and grooming and their brutish obsession with extreme violence and eating anything they can’t fuck I hardly think they are likely to listen to our appeals to their feminine side?”

“You are a man, it’s your job to protect your mate and her children” says PCLF.

“Hmm” says the male who is finding his enlightened, metrosexual attitudes are not serving him well in post apocalyptic world, “I guess I could reach out to them, tell them about hope and change and show them some of my dance moves. That might make them understand the advantages of sharing their space and resources with members of a superior, right – on species. If it doesn’t work I don’t know what I can do, they’re monsters.”

“Don’t call them monsters, you racist bigot, thy have a right to live the lifestyle they choose and we must respect their culture and celebrate their diversity.” says PCLF.

You think I exaggerate? Consider some of the ideas discussed by this conference, organised by the party that gave us such democratic and libertarian ideas as all women or all back selection lists for Labour constituency parties in safe seats to choose their candidates, deselection of sitting MPs who dare to think for themselves and 42 day detention without for people suspected of having beards or possessing equipment that could be used in the growing of beards.

One senior Labour woman told the Boggart Blog political correspondent covering the conference: “I have found myself asking ‘What would have happened last September if Lehman Brothers had been Lehman Sisters?”

We can tell her they would still have gone bankrupt but the offices at Corporate HQ would have had nice curtains.

When women take on the task of talking about how to put the world to rights the assumption that in the same circumstances and given the same tools and resources as men they would be certain to do a better job is, is it not, a tad lacking in logical foundations?

There was much talk at the Labour women’s conference of rebuilding the financial sector as a “gender neutral zone” whatever that is. The main topic to excite the PCLFs though was their idea that the recession could actually work in favour of women. As Corporations seek to make savings on executive pay they see opportunities for women executives to ascend the career ladder as they have always had to accept lower pay than men and are therefor more recruitable.

So then, after all these decades of feminist grizzling about equal pay, you would think women might acknowledge the fact that by ignoring them we were doing them a favour.

UPDATED 21 Feb 2009:
As the most influential women of the NuLab “project” whinge about how women are hardest hit by the recession let us remind you it was, was it not, New Labour with their enthusiasm for Neo-con free market policies that brought us to the current chaos. Worship of markets could only have one end as Ian’s poems Holy City and Chasing Bubbles describe.

Life’s Great Mysteries

Olympic Bollocks and Dora’s Dong

Olympic officials in Beijing have taken delivery of a new, ultra – sophisticated, super-duper and hugely expensive gender testing laboratory. Amid accusations being flung by rival coaches and national governing bodies it is feared that more female gold medallists than ever will actually be blokes.
Despite the moustaches being a dead giveaway the testing centre will be equipped with state of the art medical equipment for looking at hormones, DNA and chromosomes.
Fatsally and I could have saved them a fortune. The simple trick is to ask athletes to drop their pants and then look for the bollocks.

One of the most famous examples of cross-dressing competitors, the Dora’s Dong incident, happened during the 1936 Olympics. Hitler, determined to prove the supremacy of the Ayrian race, persuaded a mediocre male high jumper named Hermann to become Dora Ratjen. Supremacy at what we wonder? Being drag queens. Anyway the sad story of Dora Ratjen deserves to be told if only as a warning to others. Noted among fellow competitors for her deep voice, manly build and refusal to get changed in front of the other women, Dora emerged as a contender for the gold medal in the months before the games.
In the event she could only manage fourth place and no medal. The cause of the failure is not noted but in those days the favoured style was to roll face down over the bar rather than flipping over backwards so the most credible theory was that Dora’s Dong kept nudging the bar off its supports as she went over.
We wouls like to report a happy ending but after the games Dora was pursued by the world’s press and eventually discovered working as a waiter. Dora’s true identity as Hermann and his manhood ware then revealed to much mockery. He died a few months later of indecent exposure.

Gender Testing For Athletes – What A Load Of Bollocks. From Dora’s Dong to Caster’s Codlings, testicular concealment is nothing ne in athletics.