Is football governing body FIFA Corrupt?

Years too late there seems to be a kerfuffle about the FIFA decision to stage the 2022 World cup in Qatar, a tiny but oil rich nation that has no football stadiums, no football teams, no football pitches, no grass (not of the kind involved in lawns anyway) but shitloads of money and a despotic ruler whose son likes football.

As the decision to hold a World Cup tournament in Qatar in the middle of summer when temperatures in the desert nation can reach a zillion degrees fuckmeitshotigrade was made far earlier than was necessary some curmudgeonly types said bungs had been handed to officials of football world governing body FIFA to help them make the decision that was best for football and for fans who could afford to stay in any of the Kingdom’s many incredibly expensive six star hotels and support their national team.

How very dare you accuse us upholders of the Corinthian spirit of corruption, howled FIFA officials, hastily trying to stuff bundles of banknotes and anonymous bearer bonds into their pockets.

So can we believe their protestations of innocence or is the football governig body corrupt. The clue is in the name. FIFA – a fee fa this, a fee fa that.

World Cup In Chaos Before They Even Kicked Off
Word Cup: Why Football Is So Much More Than A Game
Welcome To Our World Cup
England, England, England

Proof that the Football Authorities Are A Bunch Of C***s

“What have those FIFA loons done now Ian,” you might well ask as if any further proof of what is stated in the headline were needed.

Well, you know that the oil rich desert kingdom of Qatar (population 103) was selected to stage the 2022 World Football (or Soccer for the benefit of our American followers) World Cup?

And you know that Qatar did not have any football teams (apart from those playing in European leagues that have been bought by wealthy Quatari Sheiks)and consequently no football stadia?

For a lot of people in the traditional football playing nations the decision to stage the tournament in a tract of sand dunes was proof enough that the self important bureaucrats of the Federation Of International Football Associations were to a man, cupid stunts.

As if to underline that conclusion, in the design chosen for the Al Wakrah stadium which will host the World Cup final, the complex looks like a lady’s ………….. well, lady bits.

FIFA world cup Al Wakrah stadium
Picture source:

The fact that they are playing in what looks like a gigantic concrete and steel effigy of a minge may not affect most player (Wayne Rooney will not be playing in 2022 and the stadium would be brand new rather than over 50 years old). Such a faux pas does nothing for the credibility of a game which had little credibility left.


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Take one footballer, add one sat nav and stir in one Porsche.

The result is all to predictable.
In the past we have gleefully reported the disasters that occur when a person brainwashed with the idea that science is divine and technology infallible cedes responsibility to a sat nav system. The classic case was Sat Nav Suzy From The Isle Of Skye who set out from Scotland for the ferry port at Hull on the east coast and ended up in a sheep pasture in west Wales.

“Didn’t you see the funny place names on signposts and think something was wrong?” we asked her.

“Yes but the sat nav said keep going that way,” she replied. Sat Nav Suzie’s story makes today’s news report all the more believable.

Footballers are not noted for being at the front of the queue when brains were handed out though it is unfair to dismiss them all as stupid, they are not all Super Mario Balotelli. On the other hand Balotelli is not the only total dickhead to have disgraced the Premiership in recent years.

It would be off topic to mention Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney’s wold adventures in oral sex with a granny prostitue (fourth paragraph from end of this report)because it is quite normal for young men to get their face into a Nan* after a few beers on a Friday night – but I mention it anyway because it’s a good line and now Balotelli has returned to Italy we need to identify a few contenders for the “craziest footballer title.

One must surely be Liverpool’s Andre Wisdom whose slavish deference to technology and his sat navs judgement shows he has a long way to go to live up to his name. And as long as he relies on his sat nav rather than his eyes, ears and common sense he is not going to progress far.

The Premier League defender had to abandon his £100,000 Porsche no a muddy dirt track after his sat nav system took him off road.

Wisdom, the England U21 captain, followed the robotic voice as it directed him into a forest park last Friday night. him walking three miles to a main road after his car ended up getting stuck in the mud.

He is currently on loan at Derby County and was on his way to their home game with Sheffield Wednesday at the weekend when the incident occurred.

A Derby County spokesman said: “Andre visited a local shop on the way to Saturday’s game against Sheffield Wednesday and, being new and unfamiliar to the area, he programmed the stadium’s postcode into his Sat Nav.

He added: “The route provided took him down a less than traditional road, where conditions were also poor, and ultimately his car got stuck.”

When we remember he had three miles to walk back to the main road you might well ask why the fuck did his own common sense not alert him to the fact that something wasn’t right. I mean, how thick do you have to be to get in this deep …

Lost in the woods

… before you notice the surroundings don’t look like inner city Sheffield.

The abandoned Porsche Panamera Turbo, worth £100,000, was found by local mountain biker Pete Irons who informed the police. Irons told reporters he was shocked to think a sports car had got so far in conditions that would have challenged a Land Rover.

He said: “To get to that point he would have to have come through an equally muddy section. It was miles from the road, I have no idea what he was thinking to keep going so far.

Well thinking is probably not the right word, after all he is a footballer.

We predict the chant that will be echoing around stadiums where Wisdom is playing for the est of this season might go something like this:

Andre Wisdom, Andre Wisdom,
Andre Wisdom where’s your Porsche.

*for non British readers, a naan is a flatbread originally from the Indian subcontinent, often eaten with curry fter a lads night out. Nan is slang for Grandmother.

Sat Nav can’t see the wood for the trees
Another Stupid Sat Nav Story
When driving on sat nav remember the country code

Manager In The Theatre Of Nightmares

Saw an old frien of mine yesterday. He is a lifelong Manchester United fan so naturally a topic that came up in conversation was How long will Dave Moyes last as manager of Manchester United now fans have sussed out the man is a complete dickhead?

Until the end of the season or until the end of the year we speculated.

Having just seen the latest score from the United vas Stoke City match, as half time approaches with visitors Stoke leading 2 – 1 at Old Trafford I have now changed by bet.

I’ll be surprised if he lasts to the end of half time.

Which Sports Star Uses Cash For Bog Roll

Yes the pictures shows what one overpaid sport star uses to wipe his arse.

the sports stars toilet paper

Yes, one overpaid ball juggler with the social sensibility of a sewer rat (sorry, that ws unfair ……………. to sewer rats) uses cash for toilet paper. Who is it do you think.

Hands up if you said Super Mario Balotelli. His was the first name that came to my mind, but we are wrong. The scumsucker responsible for this stunt is one Gilbert Arenas who was already one of the biggest stars in the NBA when he signed a six-year, £70 million contract with the Washington Wizards back in 2008.

To add insult to insult, a catalogue of injuries, loss of form, suspensions and legal difficulties mean he has hardly played. In fact Arenas has become become basketball’s answer to Chelsea’s Winston Bogarde.

Bogarde collected just £2 million a year by not playing for Chelsea, which is grotesque because most of us would be happy to pick up a grand a week for not playing football. Arenas however has collected over £10 million a year for barely touching a ball .

He’s not played a single minute in the NBA in over two years, but remains one of the biggest-earners in the sport; the Orlando Magic apparently owe him £15m for 2013 alone.

All in all he’s a total arse and a fine example of what is wrong in modern society.

Not to be outdone, The Premiership has its own totally overpaid arsewipe in West Brom’s Liam Ridgewell as this story from The Currant Bun illustrates.

Foul! Fowler’s girls upset the BBC football pansies

Top tabloid sensation this morning was the BBC’s ritual humiliation of former Premier league striker and not-the-brightest-light-on-the-Christmas-tree Robbie Fowler.

On Saturday the BBC made Fowler, a match pundit apologise on air for commenting that two footballers were “fighting like girls”. The tarts and ponces who run BBC sport these days were outraged though it was obvious to any viewer with more than one brain cell that Fowler’s comment, made about a tussle between Fernando Torres and Jan Vertonghen during the Tottenham-Chelsea game, was entirely innocent, intended only to condemn Torres and Vertonghen’s childish antics and not to slander the female sex in general or the fat ugly man-hating lezza’s who are always screaming about sexism in particular. BTW, it is a potential hate crime for me to write the phrase “fat ugly man – hating lezzas” but apparently not a hate crime for fat, ugly, man – hating lezzas to say that all men are rapists. how does that work?

Minutes after his “girls” comment Robbie Fowler was on his knees in front of the camera making all sane viewers cringe with a toe curlingly embarrassing apology, telling the nation he was “deeply sorry” for apparently offending womankind.

Womankind? So the politically correct idiots who run the show think all the women in the world were watching a Saturday afternoon sport programme? Did I comment on Robbie Fowler’s lack of intelligence? How unfair of me, next to the fuckwits who run the BBC these days he’s on a par with Einstein.

A forced public apology, especially when the only “crime” committed is that someone has phrased something slightly carelessly, is always cringeworthy and particularly so when the potentially offensive word or remark (potentially being the operative word in the case of Fowler’s unremarkable remark)has offended professional offence takers among the tribe of media luvvies who assume they exist to tell us all how to live our lives (Stephen fucking Fry please note).

That the BBC lead the field in professional offence taking is particularly ironic when we remember this is the organization that closed ranks to cover up the politically incorrect activities of Jimmy Savile for years. Hypocrites.

Still reeling from the Savile scandal one would think the BBC migh tell its moralising lefties to shit the fuck up as the moral outrage over trivialities could be interpreted as a front to cover up far more offensive things going on behind closed doors in the”.

Having got that off my chest I was actually surprised the BBC still shows football.

To me it seems there simply aren’t enough disabled gay bipolar transgender lesbians on the teams to warrant as much prime time coverage as the game gets in Britain.

The Disabled Stakteboarders of Scotland

Football News: The great Di Stefano has scored again

OK, most of you are too young to remember Alefredo Di Stefano, midfield general of the all conquering Real Madrid side in the 1950s, he’s 86 now. In spite of his advanced age Di Stefano has scored again.

What? Is he still playing? You might well ask.

Well no, the Argentinian who played for Madrid in five successive European Cup finals (they didn’t do The Champions League then) from 1956 to 1960, scoring in each, has not graced a football field for half a century.

He has scored in an entirely different sense, the old goat is getting married to 36 year old Gina Gonzalez. Miss Gonzalez, a dark eyed, raven haired Costa Rican beauty (well OK that may be a tad hyperbolic but I wouldn’t kick her out of bed for farting).

Asked what his children from his previous marriage thought of the upcoming nuptials Di Stefano, now honorary chairman of Real, replied “Who cares what they think, life is a game of two halves.”

Commenting on the age difference Gina said, “It was his sense of humour that won me over, he has a young heart.”

Nothing to do with his rather large fortune then? And we’re not sure about the young heart bit, these days Alfredo is only seen in public in a wheelchair.

We wish Alfredo and his bride to be well for the future and are now off to see the Boggart Blog bookie and check the odds on the old boy making 87.

Di Stefano

Alfedo Di Stefano and Gina Gonzales


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The insanity of the left, the psychosis of political correctness and the death of humour

One of my favourite comedians of recent years is the very talented and very funny Reginald D Hunter, a black American from the deep south, who probably knows more about racism than all of us a put together.

Reg is currently copping a lot of flak from The Politically Correct Though Police for using the n – word in his stand-up performance in front of an audience of Professional Footballers. (Now the more alert and less hysterically P C of you might have noticed that these days many Professional Footballers tend to be – ummm – just a tad dark skinned.

Reg uses the n-word liberally in his act, reflecting the way black people in the south east of the U S A speak to each other. It brings some reality in to his comedy, not that the lefties complaining about Hunter’s language would recognise reality if it ran up to them and pulled their collective pisser (or tickled their collective tits, I have to say for the sake of gender equality).

The comedian also told jokes about Jews, women and Ireland. Now, the PFA is demanding its five-figure fee back (underlining what we all knew, that football is run by cupid stunts). Outraged members of the media chatterati (who never have never ben nearer to football than the time they attended a Victoria Beckham fashion show) are accusing Hunter of setting back the cause of anti-racism in football.

A more-hysterical-than-usual Guardian writer says Hunter has made it that bit more difficult to “kick racism out of football” because in the future racist fans might defend their use of the n-word on the basis that “Hunter said it”. Guardian writers are cupid stunts and possibly the only people who know less about football than the cupid stunts who run the game. Go into any northern pub (well except for those in Cheshire maybe) and you will soon understand football supporters need no encouragement from Reg. D. hunter to use offensive language.

Ah but the only way a Guardian writer would ever enter is northern put is if they were the filling in a Holland’s meat pie.

Are these fucking fuckwits serious? Complaining about Hunter’s gags shows how crazy and disconnected from reality the culture of political correctness has become. Specifically it shows how PC treats words themselves as evil, as charged with a magical power to do harm and cause pain regardless of the context in which they are spoken. It is like Orwellian newspeak, a belief that if language is stripped of the words to express and idea the idea can be mutilated.

Is that really so? Will banning one (or two or three) words really grant racial equality to a bunch of mud hut dwelling vagina mutilators. (I only said that to prove you don’t have use the forbidden words to be racially offensive, not all African societies practice FGM.)

Hunter is himself black, and was using the n-word ironically and wittily, and was doing so in front of a seated audience of Amarni-clad millionaire footballers and their bosses rather than in front of a braying mob of Union Jack T shirt wearing, shaven – headed bastards with British bulldogs tattooed on their butt ends, still he stands accused inciting racism.

In the words of a writer for the Independent who was at the PFA dinner, “a racial slur is a racial slur”. That is, Hunter might have thought he was making a few funny, close-to-the-bone observations but in fact he was behaving in a racist manner according to a person who writes for The Independent, a newspaper not as wholly given over to outbursts of self righteous, left wing cuntiness as is The Guardian but getting there.

Surely in order to make a “racial slur”, you have be a) racist and b) intending to make a slur? And do these high priests of Political Correctness actually understand what “racism” really means.

Not in the world of Politically Correct thinking you don’t. In the left’s ecstacies of self loathing, the context in which words are spoken, and the intention and meaning behind them, are meaningless. Lefties (who are actually fascists but too cowardly to admit it) lack the imagination to handle context, their inflexible minds need rules (Orwellianization again) So to have a black comedian say the n-word for very obvious laughs is apparently the same thing as having a white racist shout the n-word in the face of a black man or woman. Das word ist verboten. In a free, liberal society you must never question authority.

And of course we must never ask who elected these moral fascists as arbiters of our mores and values.


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The Craziest Crap Ever Spouted By Lefties

Let’s face it, we’ve all seen plenty of insane crap being promoted as solutions to real problems by lefties, none more revealing of the fact that the leftie mindeset is completely addled than Mr. Bollocks repeating his claims had Labour stayed in power he would have fixed the economy by borrowing shitloads more money, increasing benefits, allowing millions on immigrants into the country and joining the Euro. Well with the exception maybe of Hattie Harperson’s daft law that makes us guilty of hate crime if we say anything to anyone who self identifies as part of a minority that said self identified oppressed minority member feels is ‘a little bit off colour’.

Stone me though, this kerfuffle about Paolo DiCanio stuff has got to be well up the top ten of politically correct stupidity, crazier that when the lefties were all up in arms about racism in football after a Manchester player accused a Liverpool player of racism because the Liverpool guy beat him to the ball .

Di Canio is a nutter. That goes without saying really, he was a professional footballer and is now a manager. Talking bollocks has always been a big part of his job. So why, now he has been appointed manger of Sunderland, has something that happened nearly 8 years ago been dragged up by lefties to try to demand a boycott of Sunderland FC because Di Canio is some kind of far-right neo-Nazi?

He may be a cupid stunt but he’s not intelligent enough to be a Nazi or even know what a Nazi is. Next to him the totally bonkers Super – Mario Balotelli looks almost sane. Di Canio is a man, you must remember, who once said …

“When I scored that goal to knock out Manchester United, it was a very exciting moment. “It was like having sex with Madonna.” (Which the ex Mr. madonna, Guy Ritchie once described as ‘like cuddling up to a plank.’

Paolo doesn’t rate English footballers, once commenting …

“Doping in English football is restricted to lager and baked beans with sausages. After which the players take to the field, belching and farting.”

He has also claimed that he wants to “finish each game sweating and bleeding” and, to continue his sex metaphors.

“I’m so exciting – every time I play, the fans want to have sex with me.”

His former Manager, Harry Redknapp, describes him as “mad” and “barmy”. So we can confidently say the only people crazier that Di Canio are the lefties getting their knickers in a twist about his crazy outbursts.

Harry Redknapp talks about Paolo Di Canio.

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The Nazi Left Want To Boycott A Facist Football Manager

Todays wailing and gnashing of teeth from our ever full of shit friends on the left is a demand for a boycott of Sunderland Football Club because their newly appointed manager once admitted he was a fascist.

One commentator astutely asked if there would be the same outcry from the closet Nazis of the left if a football club had appointed a Communist. I think we all know the answer to that one.

Sunderland are a football club FFS, they are not involved in politics nor are they a news provider in the print or broadcast media. It does not matter if their manager is a supporter of The Inquisition, a Leveller, one of Guido Fawkes fellow conspirators, a molester of small furry animals or a fan of Charles Manson. His job is to manage a football team.

We should not be worried about Paulo Di Canio’s politics, he has as much right to his opinion as any of us. What we should be concerned about is the number of left wing reporters and political figures joining in calls to boycott the team he manages. These people do like to think they are opinion makers and thought leaders.

And once again they are showing their contempt for democratic principles like free speech and freedom of opinion.

Boycott the left, boycott the political parties who are not speaking out against the left’s authoritarianism. Vote UKIP.