Ghost at football match>

Spectators watching a soccer game on television noticed a strange figure running through the fans at a crowded stadium recently. The footage was broadcasted by Fox Sports from the Hernando Siles Stadium in Bolivia, the Huffington Post reported today.

The footage was captured last Thursday at the Hernando Siles Stadium during a soccer match between The Strongest and Defensor football clubs. In the video, a shadowy figure can be seen running through one of the seating rows at the crowded stadium. The figure seems to be unnoticed by fans. At one point the figure appears to pass through a barrier.

Most people that watch the video believe that the figure is a ghost that haunts the stadium. Others believe that the figure is some type of a hoax or possibly an optical illusion created by the lens of the camera.
Watch the video and make up your own minds. we thing it was the shade of Tom Finney showing today’s muscle bound carthorses how to ghost their way past defenders.

A hundred years ago some twat said ‘the lights are going out’

A hundred years ago some posh twat, I think it was Earl Grey* (the bloke who invented weak tea, gimme Ringtons teabags any time) said something about “One by one the lights are going out all over Europe.”

With the situation in Ukraine worsening by the minute, people are saying the same now. OK, let’s switch a few back on.

The web is full of “funniest scenes in film” which are usually dominated by clips from Monty Python and the holy Grail, The Life Of Brian, the farting scene from Mel Brook’s Blazing Saddles and that famous line delivered in The Italian Job by Michael Caine, something from Four Weddings or maybe the fake orgasm scene in When Harry Met Sally. There are plenty of other contenders but those spring to mind readily.

There is one that should feature strongly but is usually overlooked however. As it happens (or maybe to stop us all plunging into abyssal dspair) Channel 5 screened Beetlejuice today and as I watched it made me wonder how can we forget the scence where the ghosts in the haunted house hijack the pretentious yuppies dinner party and make the guests sing and dance The Banana Boat Song.

Forgotten it, or maybe you have never watched Beetlejuice. Enjoy it again – or maybe for the first time

The Banana Boat song from Beetlejuice:

*It was actually Sir Edward Grey, the British Foreign secretary but the deliberate error worked better for this item.

Haunted Vagina Star Opens Up For Boggart Blog

American singer, rapper and wearer of very scanty clothes Ke$ha has gone on record as saying she has had sex with a ghost. Cynics among you might think this is a knee twerk reaction to the publicity Miley Cyrus has been getting recently but, ever willing to give nutters enough rope the benefit of the doubt Boggart Blog did some investigating.

It turns out that Miss Ke$ha is living with the consequences of her spectral shag. Having already undergone a surgical procedure to terminate a phantom pregnancy she is telling anyone who will listen that her vagina is now haunted.

The singer appeared on “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” Monday night to promote the new season of her television show that airs on MTV this month. According to Ke$ha, the second season of “My Crazy, Beautiful Life” begins with the singer getting an exorcism on her vagina.

Evidently Ke$ha’s hypnotherapist insists that the “Warrior” singer’s vagina is haunted. Ke$ha claims that she used a ‘ghost meter’ to test her body and the device’s audio alarm when off when it was near her lady .bits

(I’m not making this up, honestly, who could make up this kind of shit – Ian.)

“It’s a problem. I know it sounds ridiculous but in all honesty, I believe in all this crazy stuff. So I was told I had a poltergeist up my pussy so I called my ghostbuster. So then she said she had to exorcise my body and then I got a ghost meter to read it, and it just beeped, just at my vagina. It seemed to be accurate because I have been going through a dry spell (really Ke$ha, you private life is your own business and on the money you are making you can afford KY Jelly which is surely cheaper than employing a vagina diviner) and it was like beeping around and it all makes sense now,” Ke$ha said.

Ummm, sense and Ke$ha are worlds that do not sit together comfortably.

kesha vagina ghosts
Ke$ha with some of her fanny wights

Regular readers may remember Boggart Blog recently reported on a man in China who was jailed for charging a woman $3000 for exorcising evil spirits from her vagina with his divine penis. Seems like there is good money to be made exorcising minges.

Read more on music business MK Ultra mindfuck victims

Chinese Man’s Divine Dick Exorcises Ghost

A man was recently arrested in China after he persuaded a young woman he could get rid of ghosts from her vagina vagina with his penis.
The person with the paranormal pecker allegedly demanded over £2000 to perform the sexorcism the Huff Post reported today.

Huang Jianjun was arrested in the Guangdong Province earlier this month after he convinced A Xin that he could excorcise evil spirits from her vagina by boffing her. After the bizarre incident, Xin called police the following day and Jianjun was promptly arrested.

“The girl with the phantasmal pussy sought out the self-procraimed “ghost hunter” because she needed help seducing her boss who she had a crush on. That’s when Jianjun allegedly pitched the unorthodox exorcism idea,” according to a report in the Global Times. There seems to be a bit of a disconnect there but … well it is China.

The story continues to tell that Xin, whorked in a spice shop was so infatuated with her boss that she sought Jianjun for help because she wanted her employer to be with her. According to Xin, she claimed that Jianjun could help the two fall in love by giving her an exorcism because the poltergeist in her love tunnel was scaring the boss off.

It’s gets more confusing the deeper we dig.

Let us know if you have ever encountered a paranormal manifestation inside the person you are about to get jiggy with.

WTF

postbox on the river

WTF is going on when an old fashioned post box suddenly appears between the arches of a bridge on the River Thames.

It’s not likely anybody will be posting letters there. And the postman’s black – and – white cat is not going to be very happy about travelling by boat to collect the mail.

Some say it’s a stunt, others that it is the work of a ghost that haunts the bridge. One local resident, spoon bender Uri Geller is sure it’s a message from aliens (Well we are in The Age Of Aquarius). The Post office claim it is nothing to do with them (don’t they always say that?) A spokesman added “It is certainly not an operational posting facility.”

Could it be something to do with privatisation? A place to posts complaints about slow delivery perhaps.

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Bangladesh Boggart

It seems that a factory in Bangladesh is being haunted by a ‘ghost’ that has been living inside of a toilet. Thousands of workers are now protesting the haunted site.

The wholly reliable Who Forted blog reports that thousands of workers at a factory in Bangladesh downed tools and rioted earlier this week, demanding that a ghost be removed from their building. Since then Boggart hysteria has spread to other factories and even beyond the capital.

It all began when a female worker said she felt sick and attributed her condition to “an attack by a ghost” inside a toilet in the women’s washroom. Sick? Could this be a phantom pregnancy we are talking about?

News reports state that more than 3,000 frightened workers at a plant in Gazipur protested, with dozens of them vandalizing the factory before the police were called in to use tear gas to bring the situation under control.

Similar events have occurred elsewhere in Bangladesh in recent weeks, with hundreds of workers in the capital of Dhaka and other factory towns complaining of feeling ill with no apparent cause after visiting the toilet.

Far be it from us to cast aspersions on living conditions in Bangladesh but it does strike us that visiting a toilet in any third world country would be enough to make a lot of people feel sick.

Medical authorities were equally sceptical and concluded that most of these cases were due to mass hysteria, also known as “Mass Sociogenic Illness”. Mass hysteria often begins when individuals under stress convert that stress into physical ailments. My guess would be the stress caused by the appalling working conditions and the stink in third world bogs.

Full story on Who Forted
Audio report on You Tube.

Be Careful What You Buy On Ebay – Some Junk Has Baggage

I love weird stories, ghosts, monsters, missing socks finding the way back to their other half years after going astray, that sort of thing.

Naturally I was intrigued by the story of a group of flatsharers who put a ‘haunted mirror’ up for sale on internet auction site Ebay after being dogged by bad luck, financial misery and illness after they rescued it from a skip.

Student Joseph Birch, 20, and painter Sotiris Charalambous, 34, acquired the antique mirror when their landlord put it in a skip outside their in Muswell Hill, London five months ago. Skips are magical things of course and like all others this one started to attract all sorts of interesting objets d’art and shite although nobody was ever spotted putting anything in it.

When a rather atractive vintage mirror materialised overnight the lads grabbed it, thinking it might be worth a quid or two.

Since they hung it in their flat however, the pair claim they have been plagued by bad luck, misery, financial problems and illness.

Mr Charalambous says it has caused him to wake up screaming with ‘stabbing pains’ in the night. He insists this was not due to his girlfriend sneaking into his room at night, repeatedly plunging a knife into him and screaming “You gave me herpes, you bastard.”

Joseph, an art and design student, and his flatmate began seeing ‘flickering shadows’ and ‘glimpses of black darkness’ (Black darkness? Is there any other kind? in the mirror and orbs of light in the room.

Joseph woke up covered in red scratchmarks in the middle of the night last week and both flatmates have had sleepless nights which they blame on the antique. Since the walnut mirror was painted metallic silver by Sotiris two months ago, the flatmates began to suffer intense nightmares and their problems escalated.

Well there’s nothing pisses of a creature of the dark side than being stuck in an object owned by somebody with crap taste.

‘I don’t think it the mirror likes it since I painted it silver. I took it to an antique dealer who said it was worth £100 once but with the paint job it is not worth a fiver. We’re going for the £100 starting price because we believer someone who has an interest in the paranormal would be willing to pay more.’

But if the pain job is the bad news, the worse news is the mirror only has a few scratches and is not broken. So it’s not genuine then, as anyone who ever watched horror films knows, haunted mirrors shatter as soon as they are put on Ebay. It’s traditional.

being a true sceptic I neither believe of disbelieve anything so I don’t dismiss the possibility that the mirror is host to some malign presence. In this case however, I feel it is not the antique that is haunted but the two dickheads who destroyed it’s value by giving it a coat of Hammerite. Such idiocy would haunt many people for months.

It seems then that the paranormal incidents they attribute to the mirror might be more to do with attracting bids from people with more money than sense or who may have unterior motives.

This latter view was supported by a comment from one prospective buyer who wanted the mirror “as a gift for an ex”.

Bloodaxe Corner (halloween fiction)

No humourous or satirical post today, just a shameless plug for my latest short fiction:

Bloodaxe Corner

This is a very short piece of fiction by my standards (although at 1100 words it is by web standards almost on a par with War and Peace) but I have never considered a 150 word anecdote “fiction”.

It is also lightweight, a bagatelle for halloween so I shal promote it here, get a few readers and then it will be forgotten.

The story cobbles together several legends including the story of a Viking warrior who haunted a road in northern England and the legend of Erik Bloodaxe’s curse, that if anybosy disturbed his grave he would rise up and kill them.

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Tommy Cooper Appears In A Pie – Just Like That

In the week between Christmas and New Year there is a dearth of news. Nothing happens. So we must turn for our blog material to roundups of momentous events of the past twelve months. And what could be more momentous than stories about UFO’s, ghosts, crop circles and Jesus appearing in a pancake. The Daly Telegraph has a wonderful selection on offer though you should skip the first picture which is more obviously faked than an MP’s expenses claim.

My personal favouite from the set is an image of Tommy Cooper that manifested itself in a pie to chip shop owner Caradoc Jones of of Caerphilly in South Wales. Now I know some of you may be thinking this story sounds a bit cheesey but think on, Caerphilly is the town where Tommy CFooper was born…
te-de-de-de te-de-de-de te-de-de-de te-de-de-de

If you don’t believe us see for yourselves. Tommy Cooper Appears In A Pie

How spooky is that.

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