Bansturbator To Win The Grand National

It’s national Bansturbator week again, the week when all the politically correct idiots gets to parade their self – righteousness to the complete and utter indifference of all the rest of us. In this week of every year they crawl out of the woodwork to demand the banning of The Grand National

The Bansturbators are of course that strange group of people who only get a tingle between their legs when they are banning activities other people enjoy. It was comical in the aftermath of the fox hunting ban which gave them a massive tingle, watching male bansturbators trying to walk when their underwear had set rock hard.

The Bansturbator of the day was on television this morning talking about how cruel it is to make horses run round a course and jump over fences. And The Grand National has is a longer course and has higher fences than any other horse race in Britain. The guy only succeeded in proving he had never been up close and personal with a horse. I have. We puny humans cannot make them do anything they don’t want to.

Then Mr. Bansturbator pulled out another ancient fallacy. The racing industry does not care about horses safety, he said, it would be different if jockeys got hurt. Three weeks ago an Irish amateur jockey, J P Macnamara was injured at Cheltenham, he will be paralysed for life. But he sustained the injury doing something he loved (amateur geddit, amo amas amat,)and chose to do being fully aware of the risks. And as I said, horses choose to race because if they decide to plant their feet nothing will shift them.

When I used to back horses there was a jumper called Vodkatini. He was what people in the trade call ‘a bit of a thinker’. Vodkatini was smarter than the average horse however, he worked out that if at the start of a race he planted his feet and let the others gallop off, they would go round the track and return to where he was. And he could join in then.

Race horses are trained but wild horses gallop and jump too. Domestic dogs chase sticks and frisbees and cats, cats kill birds and small cute creatures. Animals have fun and what they think is fun might be something we find deeply offensive. Go out to Africa, find a lion and ask what he does for fun. The answer might not be very welcome. It’s a wonder the bansturbators are not trying to ban all animals.

Personally I think we should ban all pompous twats who think they are entitled to impose their moral prejudices on everybody.

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