Today We Should Pray For The Lefties

Yes today the left of British politics have suffered a crushing bow. Education Minister Michael Gove has lost his job in Cameron’s reshuffle. As Gove was the primary target for the left’s irrational hatred and without irrational hatred the left have nothing in their weaponry, this is a massive setback with an election only a year away.

Other news from the cabinet reshuffle. Ken Clarke is gone. I put on the radio this morning to catch the 8:30 news bulletin and all I could hear was the sound of a pair of hush puppies slapping against the pavement as a portly septugenarian clutching an airline ticket for Cambodia ran for Heathrow, pursued by The Hounds Of The Morrigan*

Environment Secretary Owen fracking Paterson has been sacked after encouraging councils to ride roughshod over the democratic process in granting fracking permits to companies in which his family members have an interest.

Liz Truss has been promoted, presumably to give Cameron or Osborne some support. Esther McVeigh who I am aware of only because before she went into politics I once saw her cavorting about on a celebrity game show, filling a very tight pair of leather trousers perfectly. So what will she do in government? Do we need a minister for pert bottoms? I’d say yes we do, although I’d prefer the job to have gone to Cheryl Cole.

Esther McVeryhot gravitas
Esther McVeigh – will bring much needed gravitas to the government
Source

Big surprise is the departure of William Hague. Was her really so deeply hurt when Boggart Blog said he looked like The Mekon in the Eagle / Dan Dare comic strips? Or is he jumping ship before the next batch of sexual misdemeanours come to light?

One amateur pundit rather unworthily suggested all this reshuffle proves is that having a pair of tits is now the best qualification for a top job. If that were true surely Katy Price would have been made Chancellor of The Exchequer. Sorry, what am I thinking, Ms. Price has shown a great deal of business acumen and proved her ability to manage money, she’s massively overqualified for the position. Sadly then George (Gideon) Osborne remains chancellor.

Kevin Brennan, Labour’s Shadow schools minister says that following the reshuffle every minister in the Department of Education was privately educated . Oh well, at least we can be sure they’ll all be able to read and write.

As someone who has often complained about the mealy – mouthed, politically correct equivocation of modern politics I have to celebrate the elevation of Claire Perry MP, the former City trader who led the Government’s campaign for filters on online pornography. Perry is said to have walked into a Commons tea room and asked the assembled stuffed shirts (the regular guys would be in the members bar): “What do I have to do to speak, give the Speaker a blow job?”

Ms. Perry must be in good physical shape if the thinks she could bend low enough to do that to Tyrion Bercow.

*The Morrigan – Celtic goddess of retribution whose hounds pursued those guilty of crimes against the weak.

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Double Acts

Before we had Morecambe and Wise or Mike and Bernie Winters the top double act was Jimmy Jewel and Ben Warris, Flanagan and Allen, Nervo and Knox (OK, I’ve been on a lists website)and numerous forgotten stars of music hall. Since television ousted live variety as the nation’s favourite entertainment more traditional acts like Cannon and Ball or Little and Large have vied with the likes of Cook and Moore, Reeves and Mortimer, Fry and Laurie or armstrong and Miller. Comedy is an important part of life, even those serious minded lefties laugh – usually when thy hear about a conservative catching Ebola Fever.

America too has a rich tradition of comedy double acts, from the Vaudeville acts like Gallagher and Sheen (btw, betcha didn’t know the sheen half was an uncle of The Marx Bros.)or Burns and Allen to Hollywood’s pairings, Laurel and Hardy, Abbott and Costello, Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis and television stars such as Rowan and Martin.

but in all of this however, there has never been a successful Anglo – American double act. UNTIL NOW.

For the last few weeks American Secretary Of State John (Lurch) Kerry and British Foreign Secretary William (The Mekon) Hague have been running round smarming, threatening and cajoling to broker a peace deal in Ukraine.

Today I read:

Tanks Flying Russian Flag Enter East Ukraine City

Forget Laurel and Hardy or Vic and Bob, you have to admit even the Three Stooges could not achieve such comic ineptitude … and they had an extra clown.

lurch1-mekon
John Kerry and William Hague in Craplomats or The Road To War

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Write To Your MP

I woke up this morning (no, this isn’t a blues song lyric) and felt that while almost powerless to do anything to halt world War Three I must make some gesture no matter how small and futile.

So I lobbied my MP to oppose military intervention in Syria. It’s easy (if you are a British voter) to email you MP, just click the link below and follow the instructions.

http://www.writetothem.com/

If we all urge our MPs to oppose the vote to approve military intervention and it is defeated, the outcome is not likely to be affected. It is now clear that Cameron, Osborne, Hague et al take orders from the faceless members of a business / banking cartel that rules the world from somewhere beyond the reach of national jurisdictions as did Blair, Brown and a bagful of foreign secrataries in the Labour government.

but it would give heart to those MPs who want to dump Cameron and put an end to the bureaucratic dictatorship of Brussels and Geneva.

And if you think military intervention in Syria would be a good idea you are free to lobby your MP for that via writetothem.com and then you can fuck off, warmonger.

Here’s a copy of my letter:

Dear Graham Jones,

I write to appeal you you to do anything in your power to oppose any
resolution committing the UK to take part in military action against
either faction in the Syrian conflict.

Although we know beyond doubt that chemical weapons in the form of
nerve gas have been used in the conflict, my reading of a wide range of
sources suggests it is far from clear which side instigated the attack.
Evidence from UN investigations into similar attacks earlier in the
year suggest however that those fighting to overthrow the Assad regime
were responsible for using illegal weapons.

I have no doubt that the Assad regime is and always has been a brutal
dictatorship, but there is no indication that those trying to overthrow
Assad will offer anything better. The Jihadists are certainly not
planning an enlightened liberal democracy.

We need only look at what has happened in Iraq, Egypt and Libya
following the overthrow of dictators to see that military intervention
without massive follow up support is not viable. In common with many
other British people feel that our nation’s involvement would cost
British lives and in the long term only make things worse for the non
partisan people of Syria.

I thank you for this opportunity to contact you on a matter of concern
to us all.

Yours sincerely,
Ian Thorpe

Hague To Join Blair

Foreign Secretary William Hague, commenting on the poison gas attacks in Damascus said in spite of evidence pointing to a false flag operation UK Government firmly believes the Assad regime used chemical weapons against the rebels trying to overthrow the dictator.

Mr. Hague is now on his way to Iraq when he will spend the next few days helping Tony Blair look for Saddam Hussein’s Weapons of Mass Destruction.

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Shock, horror ! Politician tells the truth.

Congratulations to William (The Mekon) Hague.

Mr. Hague is rightly celebrated for having the dreariest, droneiest voice in politics and for being a man who always fails to surprise us.

Yesterday however William did something very surprising for a man in his profession. Commenting on the civil war in Libya he said “We are in for the long haul.”

Anyone else would have said, ‘It’ll be over by Christmas.’

Let’s hope Dave and Co. take William’s warning on board and keep us out of Syria. We have enough little wars on the go.

mekonWilliam Hague

More on the Middle East

Now We Know – Conservatives Do Not Want To Win.

Plat the video for this, Conservative Contender at the Greenteeth Labyrinth web site.

Some of us were not surprised by the poll published today that shows the Conservatives lead over Labour is down to 2%. We have suspected for a long time something like this would happen. When Boggart Blog asked Mr CAmeron for his reaction on seeing the poll resaults he said “It felt as if I had been kicked in the bollocks.

What destroyed the Tory lead of course is the campaign slogan they used to launch their election campaign last week, “Vote For Change.”

The slogan is obviously borrowed from Barack Obama so no Brownie points for originality. And the punters are sick of all the talk of change when change only ever means things get worse.

Ah well, plus ca change, plus c’est le same old shite as they say halfway across the Channel. Last time of course the meme chose Labour because they promised change and what we got was precious little change out of a Trillion pounds spent on Private Finance Initiatives.

Cameron hopes to emulate Obama who swept to power on a promise to change America (and a tidal wave of Arab oil money).

Well it took American’s about twelve minutes to see through Obama and we Brits, traditionally more sceptical and firmly grounded in reality have bettered that by seeing through The Boy David before a vote has been cast.

The Conservatives are authors of their own misfortune however, their performance while Brown has been hunkered in the foetal position sucking his thumb and whimpering “Mummy,” has been so lacklustre and inept those few voters who ever had any confidence in them have lost it. Ironically a private poll commissioned by the Conservatives showed the party would now have one foot in Downing Street if they had kept William Hague as leader.

And what a contest the election would have been then.

Laydeeeeez an’ Gennelmen, Your main fight tonight, for the heavyweight political championship of Grrrrrrreat Brittttain, on my right in the blue corner, the Yorkshire /Bruiser, William “Forty Pints” Hague and on my even further right in the red corner The Scottish Psycho Gordon “Gi’ ‘em one wi’ the heid” Brown.

Finding out that Hague could have been a contender is doubly ironic because the signs are the Conservatives are not eager to win an election and whoever leads them will be pressured to throw the contest.

But why? What do Central Office know that we don’t?

The Next (but one) Former Future Prime Minister Revealed?

Diehard Tories rejoicing at the disintegration of the New Labour project should take a break from swilling Champagne and scoffing fluffy kitten vol – au – vents and spend a moment in sober reflection.
In politics what goes around comes around, and ever more quickly it seems and the current Conservative Future Prime Minister David Cameron seems to be in an undignified hurry to make himself a Former Future Prime Minister in the great tradition that stretches from William Hague back though Michael Heseltine all the way to someone called R.A. Butler. The slightest whiff of power it seems, like topping the polls by 3% has turned The Boy David into the embodiment of halfwitted Toryboyism that has so endeared the party to us over the last twenty years.
On Monday the new Former Future Prime Minister addressed the Oxford Farming Conference.
“Farming,” he told his audience, “is about food production.”
You just can’t argue with facts like that of course but its the assumption that a group of farmers whose families had been farmers for generations needed to be made aware of it that tells us we are in for some good belly-laughs from DC before the party dump himand bring back William Hague.