Most of the downmarket news media today run a story about a man who heroically dived into the sea to save some silly bint who had decided to go swimming with sharks.
The woman no doubt thought she was communing with nature and being incredibly cool and her good karma would ensure she did not come to any harm. We have no way of knowing what the sharks thought but it was probably something along the lines of “coo, goody, free snacks.”
Sharks seldom think of anything else.
But why, you might well ask (coz we did) are the media praising the man who rescued this insaniac? What he did was not heroic, what he did was a crime against humanity.
Some pundit on television asked “Why do people want to swim with sharks which are dangerous creatures, why can’t they just swim with nice, friendly dolphins that never eat humans and generally seem to like us.
Again we must take the contrarian line. Why should people be encouraged to think they have a right to hassle dolphins when the poor creatures are quite content to mind their own business and will happily amuse simple minded people by jumping through hoops for a snack.
As we have said so often before, snacks are the key to all interspecies communications involving humans.
And why, we must also ask, was this stupid woman not allowed to swim with sharks? She is grown up, she must be aware sharks have a reputation for eating people. It was her choice, the rescuer violated her human rights. To be fair to sharks we must point out that they do not really eat people because they don’t know what people are. To a shark we are all just potential snacks.
We must stop this stupid business of making heroes of guys who rescue morons from the consequences of their own folly. If people want to be eaten by sharks or internet cannibals or tigers or and other creatures that are always on the look out for a snack, if people want to throw themselves off builodings, if people want to die we should give them a chance.
Saving them only disrupts nature’s ability to keep the balance of fuckwits to sane people about right. We must let Darwinism do its work.
The world needs less arseholes NOW!