Woke Brigade Go After Nobby The Cerne Abbas Giant

A news report in The Daily Telegraph today would have us believe the giant, generally supposed to be prehistoric in origin, in fact only dates back to around the 10th century and originally wore trousers to spare the bllushed of maidens or something.

Cerne Abbas giant (picture: The National Trust

from The Daily Telegraph:

The origins of the Cerne Abbas giant have long been cloaked in mystery, and its vast anatomy has long caused shock by being cloaked in nothing at all.

But the National Trust has revealed that the hill figure is Saxon and actually had trousers for 700 years before a phallus was added in the 17th century as a possible parody of Oliver Cromwell, made on the orders of a disgruntled baron.

Before then, the club-wielding nude wore trousers, according to National Trust senior archaeologist Martin Papworth, who told The Telegraph: “For a long period he may not have been phallic at all.”

When you think about it logically this is an absolute rubbish story. If true it would date the origin of the giant around the reign of King Alfred. But he’s carrying a baseball bat and baseball was not invented until the 19th century.

My theory is that the giant represents an irate resident of a Southampton sink estate wakened at 2 a m by partying neighbours, threatening to smash their Hi Fi to bits if they did not “turn the bloody music down”


MORE HUMOUR:

Civilisation Isn’t Over ‘Til The Bearded Lady Sings

Freak shows went out of fashion in the 1950s and rightly so in my not so humble opinion. Two headed dogs, a man with goat hooves, people who swallowed live animals (geeks) and bearded ladies were not anybody’s idea of sophisticated entertainment. That being the case, why do Europe’s media luvvies who think they are oh so sophisticated persist with the annual freak show that is the Eurovision song Contest?

Labour, the (very rich, elitist) People’s party plans to ban your beer and pies
Are Labour still the peoples party or have they forgotten their core voters and working class roots and sold out to the metrpolitan left-wing intellectual media mafia. After the latest P R faux pas, few voters over 40 will be able to asociate the people’s party with cloth caps and ciggies. Ed Miliband’s proposed crackdown on tobbacco, alcohol and ‘unhealthy eating’ could well be the policy that loses the election.

Don’t Worry If You Are A Barm Pot, Insane Is The New Normal
Have you noticed more and more people seem to be mentally ill these days. It isn’t that we are getting crazier (the world is going insane, we are no more mad than our ancestors were), but that the bar people must jump to be diganosed bonkers is being set lower…

Technowanks for technowankers with Google Glass?
Almost every day we are reporting the latest ‘breaktrhough in dehumanisation and a further step towards making us all slaves to technology. The scientists are out of control, semi – autistic nerds with no understanding of ethical boundaries are giving politicians with no scruples about reviving Naziism the tools to enslave us.

Oxbridge bias equals unfunny comedy says Bob Mortimer
If you don’t know who Bob Mortimer is, you are either very young or an alien. He was half of the Reeeves and Mortimer team that made some hilariously surreal sketch shows throughout the 1990s and more recently co presenter (with Vic Reeves) of the bordertline insance panel game Shooting Stars.

Meat Will Only Be For The Elite If Leftie Scientists Get Their Way
A group of leading environmental scientists have tabled a report blaming cow farts for global warming and demanding punitive taxes on meat. Is there anything solid in their theory or are they all piss and wind?

How American Forces Network Saved Our Lives Britain in the 1950s was a monochrome society, a rigid, unyielding social order and overt class consciousness constrained social interactions, people were reluctant to do the right thing for fear of it being deemed by “polite society” as the wrong thing. Fortunately a radio station we should not have been listening to, and the subversive music it played took the lead in releasing us from our bonds

Where Is Bicycle Repair Man When The World Needs Him
A superhero whose superpower is repairing bikes? It was a sketch in a Monty Python’s Flying Circus show. But forty years on is it as crazy as it sounded then? We seem to have plenty of people with degrees in things that are not every practical and shortages of people who can do useful stuff. And when we have health and safety officers stopping people from climbing ladders unless they have been properly trained, people are discouraged from learning those everyday skills by themselves.

Comedy and humour

Comical Ali Is Back And Now Working For The New World Order
A CNN documentary on nuclear power as a source of clean, green energy now that wind and solar have failed very expensively to live up to scientists expectations (as us sceptics said they would) was so biased it reminded us of the broadcasts from Iraq’s Information Minister in the Gulf War

History Is Older Than They Are Telling Us The official story goes Weez aalz from Afreekaa, humans crossed the strait of Gibraltar about a million years ago and after some serious delays at Malaga airport, arrived in britain arounf 400,000 years ago. But it’s wrong. humans were already here a million years ago and they were taking caravan holidays by the sea. Civilization began in England, but we always knew that didn’t we folks?

Scientists Prove Science Is For The Terminally Insane
News coming out of the world of ‘science’ is getting crazier. But is that any wonder when the government and the BBC keep throwing money at idiots like Brian Cox who does a little come in his pants every time he uses the word science (which explains why he uses it six times a minute)

Haunted Vagina Star Opens Up For Boggart Blog
The latest music business Hollywood celebrity MK Ultra meltdown comes from bubble gum music act Ke$ha who is boasting about having a haunted vagina …

Man Sues Wife Over Ugly Baby
Back to China for this nutty story. In the week the Chinese Renminbi replaced the US$ as the reserve currency it seems the Chinese are getting ready to replace Americans at the world’s top nut jobs. According to a Local 10 news report Jian Feng sued his wife over their ugly baby recently. According to the lawsuit the “beautiful” couple could not …

A Dragon Flies Over Truro
Now I know some among you who have relied on your belief in reason, logic and order to protect yourselves from having to face the fact that we live in a a crazy, insane world in which nothing makes sense will be throwing a hissy fit at the notion that a dragon might have escape

BBC-outed-on-left-wing-political-bias-in-climate-change-coverage-by-astute-pensioner-they-are-a-globalist-propaganda-tool-nature-daily-stirrer-dailystirrer
For years the BBC have denied showing left wing bias in their reporting of climate change and the fraudulent science that has steered government policy on the environment. Now the supposedly neutral but increasingly politicised public broadcaster has been outed by an astute pensioner as a New World Order prpoaganda machine.

History Is Older Than They Are Telling Us The official story goes Weez aalz from Afreekaa, humans crossed the strait of Gibraltar about a million years ago and after some serious delays at Malaga airport, arrived in britain arounf 400,000 years ago. But it’s wrong. humans were already here a million years ago and they were taking caravan holidays by the sea. Civilization began in England, but we always knew that didn’t we folks?

Three More Shades Of Grey This very funny parody is not my work but the creation of my sister Sally who is happy for me to give it extra exposure here Three More Shades Of Grey By Sally Redfern I know . . .

Budgie Smugglers the only safe swimwear on Hampstead Heath
After years of being ridiculed by the terminally under endowed and the fashion conscious my swimwear of choice is now suddenly back in the public eye. Budgie Smugglers are the recommended swimwear for those who don’t want their nudger or testicles bitten by …

Too Fat To Die
We are all used to the drama of the diminishing appeals of prisoners on death row, if only via books and film. Usually the condemned is trying to gain a stay of execution so he can prove his innocence. However not many prisoners actually get the nod from …

The Man Behind The Mask

After a long wait my special mask, shipped at enormous cost from Germany, arrived today. So all the people who accused me of not taking Coronavitus seriously can eat your words.

Praktica Digital Camera
Praktica Digital Camera

Seriously folks, I just cant wait to turn up at a shop, be asked to put on a mask to prevent the spread of infection, and put this thing on.

The look on people’s faces will give me a lot of satisfaction.

 

Every now and then those of us who post content in internet discussion threads are rewarded by a reply from a fully paid up, card carrying member of the left wing idiots union, it does not so much invite us, as demands that we indulge in heavy sarcasm. Such an opportunity was handed to be when I posted a reply to an article from some snivelling neo – fascist (who no doubt thinks of himself as a liberal without having a clue what liberal means,) who was complaining about the right wing nuts who don’t understand how much better off we all are while being kept under indefinite house arrest

COVID-19 Lock-downs: How The Right Got Freedom Wrong

by  Tom Williams, posted on Medium.com, 15 May 2020

 

Reply from Thorpy

Freedom is slavery,
War is peace,
Ignorance is strength. (George Orwell — who was a socialist BTW — in “1984”)

What I find most comical about articles like this is the people who will be falling over themselves to agree with its sentiments would quickly become apoplectic with rage if some religious type showed up and said: “God created the world and everything in it quite recently and so the pandemic must be His Holy Will therefore it is wrong to interfere with the progress of the disease — oh and by the way Jesus just rode by on his dinosaur.”

Can you imagine the responses? They be screaming evolution this and evolution that. Yet in responses to articles like this they are blissfully unaware they are supporting the antithesis of evolution. Charles Darwin’s case was built on “survival of the fittest,” which as I always point ou does not mean those who go to the gym four times a week or run marathons should dominate, but that the species will be preserved by the survival of those member best able to adapt to and deal with environmental challenges. This is why the hand wringers and breast beaters are now lobbying government to throw disproportionate amount of resource into ensuring the survival of the weakest.

This may sound harsh but we are dealing with nature or possible a misguided attempt to meddle with nature, and will pay the price, Nature is ruthless, nature is brutal, Lord Tennyson knew what he was on about when in the poem In Memoriam he coined the phrase, “Nature, red in tooth and claw.”

COVID — 19, as the authorities in Europe (I don’t know about the USA — reliable information is hard to find,) are now acknowledging, is not a serious threat to people below retiring age who are in general god health. Placing entire nations under house arrest does not protect the vulnerable, in fact it makes them more vulnerable (as again is now being acknowledged because public opinion demanded a clear definition of what COVID related deaths actually means. Turns out it includes people whose deaths were not due to any Coronavirus variant but due to urgent medical help being unavailable because of lockdown.

Blaine Coleman

Actually it is a risk to everyone of any age. Even if you say it isn’t, which isn’t true, then that means retirees aren’t of value to society and only the young deserve to live?

You opted to retire due to health reasons (as did I, unfortunately) so by your logic, you and I deserve to die because COVID-19 only affects retirees, right?

Thorpy
No Blaine, I did not say COVID — 19 only affects retirees or anything like that, and though I suspect your comment is a deliberate attempt to undermine what I wrote, I have to say if that is what you genuinely thought I meant, your literacy skills could use a little work.

What I said was “as authorities in Europe [ … ] are now acknowledging, [COVID19] is not a serious threat to people below retiring age who are in general good health.”

Now let’s think about what that means, thinking might be a new experience for you but I’m assure all human beings are capable of it,) if as I point our after researching the issue, authorities in Europe are acknowledging something, then I am not “stating it” but merely reporting it.

So what are these European authorities saying and why (and the UK Chief Medical Officer has repeated this three times now,): Quoting official figures that prove 90% of COVID — 19 related deaths have been in people aged over 65 who also had long term heath problems, with cardio — pulmonary illness, diabetes certain cancers involved in a very high number of cases.

Younger people with ongoing problems are also more vulnerable to COVID — 19 than those in good health (now it must be obvious even to you, there’s logic in that,) and official statistics show there is a link between obesity and death / serious illness caused by this virus.

But as you sat it is a risk to everybody, a very small risk to the young and fit, a much higher risk to the old and sick. Again you ought to be able to spot the logic in that. The older we get the closer we are to dying. Another statistic forced out of the UK health authorities is that over the three months the pandemic has been running, in this nation of 63 million, just 238 people who were under 45 and had no ongoing health concerns have suffered COVID — 19 related deaths. So the risk to healthy young people is about the same as dying in a road accident, though it’s much more likely than dying because of spontaneous combustion or in a bizarre gardening accident.

So you should now see that your interpretation of my comment was completely wrong but as I noted above, I suspect your misdirection was intentional.

MORE on the Coronavirus Crisis
Fear and Panic
Pandemic of pandemics

Dearth Of Intelligence Online

Sometimes it is difficult, as we peregrinate around the web, to avoid plunging into the depths of despair.

Today I came across a nice little piece of satire on Minds.com from a member posting as Feministwit. The name along should tell most people this is a satirical blog.

Today’s post read:

As we take a look back at 2018, we can see a lot of progress. Other than Fox News, nearly every tv network is left leaning, with nearly all journalists openly left. Nearly all Hollywood entertainers espouse Liberal ideology. And several alt right commentators got banned from social media or otherwise silenced. Those that have tried to find platforms on alternative social media sites have been harassed, and in some case, those entire sites have had their revenue stream taken away, silencing thousands more. Those of us on the left have significantly moved closer to having complete a total control over all expression and public discord.

And once we finally have complete control over all speech, only then can we end fascism.

So far so good. but then came the comments. Not only were there people who did not get the joke, some actually fired of angry spiels about the stupidity of left wingers who believe such stuff. The internet really does have a lot to answer for. Let’s hava vada:

RAZINGCANE Jan 2, 2019, 3:25:13 PMedited

IF you’re a feminist what the fuck are you wearing skirts for, toots? And what the fuck is a “feminist” in a gender neutral world? A dinosaur??? or an anti-social fossil?? “As we take a look back at 2018, we can see a lot of progress. Other than Fox News, nearly every tv network is left leaning, with nearly all journalists openly left. Nearly all Hollywood entertainers espouse Liberal ideology.,,,”  This comment went on in the same vein for about a thousand words …

 

See original post and comment thread

BBC Comedy Boss Says Comedy Should Be Politically Correct Rather Than Funny

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After the head of BBC comedy Mark Allen commented that TV shows like Monty Python’s Flying Circus could not be made today because they were “too white, too posh and too politically incorrect” and that audiences were tired of the “metropolitan, educated experience” and craved sketch shows and sitcoms with a “sense of place” rather than “six Oxbridge white blokes.”

Ex Python John Cleese has defended the iconic comedy show, calling it “remarkably diverse for its time.”

Referring to Allen as the “head of social engineering,” Cleese defended the diversity credentials of Monty Python, joking that the show would meet the state-funded broadcaster’s diversity targets as it had a “poof” – referring to the late Graham Chapman – and “no slave owners.”

From its beginning in 1969, Monty Python’s Flying Circus ran as a sketch show of half – hour episodes until 1974 was followed up by a series of movies which have since become cult classics including Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Monty’ Python’s The Meaning of Life, and The Life of Brian, which lampoons the life of Jesus Christ, all of which it must be said, generate more laughter among the BBC’s beloved “16 to 24 demographic” that the parade of sad, self loathing losers paraded in the BBC’s current comedy output. These posh, ethnically and sexually diverse but monoculturally untalented millennials tend to take the stage, spout ten minutes of extreme left wing propaganda, five minutes of middle class angst and conclude with one of three standard punchlines: (1) Aren’t Conservatives horrible, (2) Isn’t Donald Trump horrible, (3) White people are all racists.

Surreal and absurdist in style, Monty Python often pushed the boundaries of what was acceptable at the time, in sketches featuring cross dressing and poking fun at Britain’s class structure.

In the movie Monty Python and the Holy Grail, which mocks Arthurian legend, class-conscious peasants of an “anarcho-syndicalist commune” discuss the merits of constitutionalism with a feudalist King Arthur.

The Life of Brian meanwhile, sees Eric Idle’s Stan, a member of anti-Roman independence movement the People’s Front of Judea, express his desire to “be a woman,” requesting from then on that he be called “Loretta” by his (“or her”) fellow revolutionaries.

Cleese,78, also  accused Allen of being “the latest in a long line who don’t really know what they’re doing,” at the BBC, recalling that executives at the corporation in the 1960s were skeptical of the Monty Python’s merits when the show was first pitched and aired. In the
Python era it was regularly the case that what was hated by authority was loved by the public, now it seems what is loved by authority is ignored by the public, while thirty year old shows on archive channels pull bigger audiences than the politically correct shite of the current output.

 

 

 

 

An Important Lesson For Do Gooders

submitted by an Author Of The Storm (In the book referred to in this article a Dickensian type character refers to the heroes as ‘authors of the storm’ having confused the title of the French story ‘Orphans of the Storm.’)

dodger-pratchett_terry-21421414-3555872006-frntl

It is a major embarrassment for the UK’s Labour party, the party of elitists, academics, lawyers and the kind of people who even though they do not know you at all are certain they know what is good for you better than you do yourself.

Once upon a time the Labour Party was a truly working class movement, men with cloth caps and vowels to hard they could cut concrete and strong women with almost invisibly thin lips and megalitic arses who got into politics to campaign for equal opportunities for all.

The the do – gooders, the pious, self righteous, holier-than-thou brigade jumped on the bandwagon (well their previous territory, religion was losing popularity faster than Ken Livingstone at a Bar Mitzvah,) and suddenly The Labour Party was no longer the party of the poor, the disadvantaged and the downtrodden, but had become the party of the hand wringing, breast beating guilt addicts who CARED about the working class and were determined to help them, whether the working class wanted the kind of help on offer or not.

And now the Labour Party, which was always opposed to prejudice against any minority groups except The Conservatives and The Liberals, found itself, because the do – gooders had enshrined love of minorities as one of the movements sacred cows, in positions where it felt obliged to support two separate minority groups that were united by a deep and long lasting mutual hatred.

Thus it was that the Labour Party found itself on the horns of a dilemma over anti – semitism. The Jewish communities of London, Manchester, Leeds and Liverpool had been one of the driving forces behind the rise of the Labour Party in the first half of the twentieth century and for that reason enjoyed a special place in Labour folklore. In recent years however, the gentle, secular Judaeism practiced in European nations has been the subject of a lot of suspicion because the Zionist (Jewish nationalist) attitude of Israel and their abominable treatment of the Muslim Palestinians living in Israel had led many people, and especially many Labour hand wringers, breast beaters and do gooders to blame all Jews for the actions of Israeli extremists (in much the same way as for most of the last 2000 yeas Christians blamed all Jews for the killing of Jesus (who probably didn’t exist but if he did and if he was crucified, was killed by the Romans because Pharisaic law had blasphemers stoned, while Roman law called for seditionist to be crucified). But I digress.

So now we have half the Labour Party supporting the Palestinians and saying what a bunch of cunts the Jews are (they mean Israelis and even that is not true because it’s a generalisation,) and the other half saying we should be nice to Jews because they have been oppressed and downtrodden.

The Conservatives are happy, the Lib Dems are happy, The Greens are happy and UKIP are happy. Labour? Well they are dopey, grumpy and probably sneezy, sleepy, and bashful. George Galloway thinks he’s Doc but few agree with him.

Even though I’m not a Labour supporter (and for the benefit of those with a binary mindset, that does not mean I’m a Conservative) I’ll pass on to the party some advice from Terry Pratchett’s novel Dodger:

“Mmmm, as I recall, if you go around telling people that they are downtrodden, you tend to make two separate enemies: the people who are doing the downtreading and have no intention of stopping, and the people who are downtrodden, but nevertheless — people being who they are — don’t want to know. They can get quite nasty about it.”

So there you have it. If Labour want to be a coherent party they need to dump the self rightousness, gag the do gooders and stop siding with minorities. The ordinary people who make up the majority have rights too. There’s no way of being on the right side of the Arab / Jewish problem, they’re all Semites so whichever side you are on you are being anti semitic against one lot or the other.

(FYI:- Semites, the children of Shem son of Noah are the people of the middle east; of his other two sons, the Hamites, children of Ham, populate north African and the Japhetites (Europeans [us] are the children of Japhet. That probably does not make any sense to you, it doesn’t to me, but to a lot of people apparently, it is so important it’s worth killing for.)

RELATED POSTS:

Elsewhere: [ The Original Boggart Blog] … Daily Stirrer …[Little Nicky Machiavelli]… [ Ian’s Authorsden Pages ]… [Scribd]…[Wikinut] … [ Boggart Abroad] … [ Grenteeth Bites ] … Ian Thorpe at Flickr ] … [ Tumblr ] … [Ian at Minds ] … [ Authorsden blog ] … [Daily Stirrer News Aggregator]

Avast Behind Shipmates It Be Talk Like A Pirate Day

Ahoy there, ye scum of scurvey laaaaandlubbers, think ‘ee old Black Jack don’t see ‘ee handing around in the shadows like a bilge rat’s bollocks. It be time to set sail across The Spanish Main and fill yer boots with doubloons and moidores. Ha – harrr bonny lads, and tell they European Union scum to heave to or we’ll keelhaul their scuppers.

Link to talklikeapirate home in case the embed frame does not work

Is Spelling Important

I see lots of arguments in threads, particularly on writers’ sites, that say spelling is not important and a lot of people are too fussy. Now though I’m quite good at spellings I do admit to being less than meticulous in proof reading my work for errors.

So is spelling important or something only pedantic people get worked up about. Look at the picture then answer my question below it (apparently it is from a short story posted online) .

AND THE QUESTION:
Did he fart a lot in bed or were there skidmarks.

ARSE!

Things in the news have been a bit heavy for a few days, ISIS and the Yazidi in Iraq, worsening tensions in Ukraine (how can they still be getting worse), HAMAS and the Israelis going at it in Gaza, Ebloa going viral in west African and even on the celebrity blogs we have the sad news of Robin Williams premature demise. He leave us a catalogue of great films but a true comic genius can never be replaced.

And then there’s all the rest of it. The economy isn’t improving because the recovery is just statistical trickery, in spite of the warmageddonists cries that three hot days showed they were right and we are all going to fry, summer seems to have come to an early end, we’re still in the EU and the Liberal Democrats have not disbanded yet.

Still, who has time to be serious? Watch this.

Bear It And Grin

There’s stupidity, there’s carelessness and there is ineptitude of such monumental proportions that is borders on genius. Now I would be the last person to assume someone who has to take a job dressing up as a Disney character was not very bright. The person could have a hundred very good reasons for accepting such employment.

On the other hand, the kind of person who signs up for the job and then fails spectacularly to live up to the job description probably deserves no sympathy. Even so we have to feel a little compassion for this dork.

bear willie

It wouldn’t be inappropriate to ask “What was he thinking because he obviously wasn’t.