I’ll Save EU" War Criminal Blair tells Angela Merkel.

bliar - merkels white knight
Picture courtesy David Icke

As I have said before the world of politics and business is now so insane, it has become impossible to write satire. No worries, reporting the news should be enough to give you a laugh.

One of this morning’s main stories was the row brewing over who is to be the next president of the EU Commission. German leader Angela Merkel and most of Europe’s federalist parties support Jean-Claude Junker who apart from being the former Prime Minister of Luxembourg and for many years a leading advocate of the dissolution of sovereign states in the EU and their replacement with a centralised bureaucratic dictatorship in Brussels can offer among the many qualifications that make him ideal for the job the fat that he has held the title of world’s most boring man for the past twenty years.

When I worked in Luxembourg in the 1980s, Junker was known as Mr. Personality (all together now) because when God made him he missed a personality.

David Cameron and Francois Hollande however are vehemently opposed to Junker’s candidacy, saying such a boring bell end can only make politicians like Nigel Farage and Marine Le Pen who have a little charisma look even more attractive to voters.

It was looking as if poor Angela was outnumbered until a knight in shining armour rode to her rescue.

“I will defend Europe from the extreme right,” Blair said, as he threw himself into the fray, thus fuelling speculation that he was preparing to mount another bid to become President of Europe.

The former Prime Minister reacted angrily after the Financial Times ran a leaked account of his meeting with Angela Merkel last Tuesday, claiming he had offered his services to the German Chancellor in a high-profile ‘pro-European role’.

The newspaper – which enjoys a close relationship with the Brussels elite – said the former PM had made it clear to Ms Merkel that he was willing to ‘defend the EU from its increasingly vocal critics’.

It good be a good offer for the federalist camp. Junker has an amazing track record of under achievement whereas the traitor and war criminal Blair has proved his ability, having saved Britain from the political right by selling us out to the American right.

Blair, who is increasingly believed to have been directly intrumental in blocking publication of the Chilcot Inquiry* that could prove him guilty of war crimes in Iraq (a charge which the former Prime Minister denies) remains unashamedly active on the political stage and is desperate to get into any postition of power.

According to numerous reports he is angling for a Brussels position which would give him a ‘pan-European role’ campaigning against Euroscepticism, which sounds suspiciously like a disguised bid to become the next president of the European Council.

*Sir John Chilcot’s Iraq Inquiry was expected to report in 2010. But since then, blair and his advisers have been locked in a dispute with Chilcot and Cabinet Secretary Sir Jeremy Heywood over which Government documents could be released as part of the final report.