Obama hasn’t an arm, he hasn’t a leg, hurroo, hurroo

Yesterday on Little Nicky Machiavelli I posted an article by Tyler Durden of Zero Hedge that discussed Barack Obama’s Coalition Of The (Un)Willing the U S rent-boy President was assembling to fight the non threat of ISIS to the security of western nations. Tyler opened his piece by quoting a 1960s peace movement version of the old folk song When Johnny Comes Marching Home.

The version he used was an American Civil War song to an old Scottish melody. Here are some extracts of the lyric that was sung as an anti war song for Vietnam in folk clubs around Manchester in the 1960s (full lyric HERE):

Where are the eyes that looked so mild, hurroo, hurroo
Where are the eyes that looked so mild, hurroo, hurroo
Where are the eyes that looked so mild
When my poor heart you first beguiled
Why did ye scadaddle from me and the child
Oh Johnny, I hardly knew ye.

Chorus
With your drums and guns and guns and drums, hurroo, hurroo
With your drums and guns and guns and drums, hurroo, hurroo
With your drums and guns and guns and drums
The enemy nearly slew ye
Oh my darling dear, Ye look so queer
Johnny I hardly knew ye.

Ye haven’t an arm, ye haven’t a leg, hurroo, hurroo
Ye haven’t an arm, ye haven’t a leg, hurroo, hurroo
Ye haven’t an arm, ye haven’t a leg
Ye’re an armless, boneless, chickenless egg
Ye’ll have to be put with a bowl out to beg
Oh Johnny I hardly knew ye.

Ironic really that a couplet in the final stanza is: “They’re rolling out the guns again, But they never will take my sons again,” because today it is Obama and his sidekick the Scooby Doo villain lookalike John Kerry who are holding out the begging bowl for donations to their latest war as the usual allies of the US say, “You’ll never take our sons again.”.

The ‘broad coalition’ President Obama so confidently spoke of in pitching his latest war on television to the American nation two days ago is crumbling faster than a biscuit (cookie) dunked in hot coffee. First the UK and Germany refused to support airstrikes on Syrian territory and now Turkey refuses to allow a U.S. led coalition to attack ISIS / ISIL / whatever forces in Iraq and Syria from its air bases, nor will it take part in combat operations against militants, according to senior government officials.

US Secretary of State John Kerry arrived in Ankara this morning to ‘build the coalition’ but, as AFP reports, Turkish officials have already made their position clear, “Turkey will not be involved in any armed operation but will entirely concentrate on humanitarian operations.” Their ‘excuse’: “our hands and arms are tied because of the hostages,” but follows PM Erdogan’s recent shunning of Obama.

Associated Press reports:

Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan has said he no longer holds “direct” telephone conversations with U.S. President Barack Obama, suggesting a rift between the leaders who were once close.

In an interview with Turkey’s ATV television late Monday, Erdogan said that “in the past, I used to call him directly. Because I was not able to get direct results on Syria, now our foreign ministers talk to each other.”

With The Netherlands having said some time ago they would not take part in any further military adventures in the middle east this leaves only France, beset by economic chaos and paralyzed by political scandals to join the broad coalition.

Kerry is now holding out the begging bowl to basket case nations in Africa and South America who will traditionally pledge support in return for a promise of some development aid but actually have no significant military forces to deploy. The world is sick of America’s perpetual war.

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Double Acts

Before we had Morecambe and Wise or Mike and Bernie Winters the top double act was Jimmy Jewel and Ben Warris, Flanagan and Allen, Nervo and Knox (OK, I’ve been on a lists website)and numerous forgotten stars of music hall. Since television ousted live variety as the nation’s favourite entertainment more traditional acts like Cannon and Ball or Little and Large have vied with the likes of Cook and Moore, Reeves and Mortimer, Fry and Laurie or armstrong and Miller. Comedy is an important part of life, even those serious minded lefties laugh – usually when thy hear about a conservative catching Ebola Fever.

America too has a rich tradition of comedy double acts, from the Vaudeville acts like Gallagher and Sheen (btw, betcha didn’t know the sheen half was an uncle of The Marx Bros.)or Burns and Allen to Hollywood’s pairings, Laurel and Hardy, Abbott and Costello, Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis and television stars such as Rowan and Martin.

but in all of this however, there has never been a successful Anglo – American double act. UNTIL NOW.

For the last few weeks American Secretary Of State John (Lurch) Kerry and British Foreign Secretary William (The Mekon) Hague have been running round smarming, threatening and cajoling to broker a peace deal in Ukraine.

Today I read:

Tanks Flying Russian Flag Enter East Ukraine City

Forget Laurel and Hardy or Vic and Bob, you have to admit even the Three Stooges could not achieve such comic ineptitude … and they had an extra clown.

lurch1-mekon
John Kerry and William Hague in Craplomats or The Road To War

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The Crimea Referendum: tragedy or farce?

We have a while to wait for the official result of the referendum in crimea about whether the autonomous territory will split from Ukraine and join Russia but with voting finished exit polls are predicting 93% of Crimeans have voted for a Russian future.

Its probably just coincidence that the votes for Russia are more or less in line with the numbers who used to vote for the government in elections under the soviet regime.

But enough whimsy, where does this leave the EU and USA? The EU has already rejected the vote on the grounds that voting for options Brussels does not like is undemocratic and violates international law and citing the Irish referendum on the Lisbon Treaty as a precedent will demand that the people of Crimea vote again and keep voting until they get it right. But what of America? This is how one Russian cartoonist sees it:

putin eu americaSource

If the result is confirmed as it surely will be, this leaves Obama and his Scooby Doo villain Secretary Of State in a spot. After all the threats and sabre rattling they now have to do something. But what?

Over to the cartoonists again:

obama putinSource

Beanz Meanz War

It can’t be the rent boy President who is pushing the USA to war with Russia over Ukraine can it? He’s the peacemaker and joybringer after all, the great conciliator whose skin colour along was going to make us forget our differences and all join hands and sing Kumbaya. So as Vladimir Putin remains intransigent about Russia’s claims to Ukraine, who exactly is propelling the push to war?.

It can’t be little William Hague, he hasn’t got the balls; or Francoise Hollande, he’s too busy with his many mistresses. That leaves only one possible candidate US Secretary of State, the Scooby Doo villain lookalike John Kerry.

Kerry- the creeperScooby Doo villain John Kerry

Let’s get this straight, right? Last week the USA sent Kerry to negotiate a peace settlement and Kerry told Russsia if the Crimea independence referendum goes ahead there will be consequences. The United States tells us is all for democracy and democracy is about voting and making sure the majority rules. If a majority in Crimea votes to align itself with Russia because most Crimeans have an affinity for Russia, the United States and the United Nations, the latter sitting on the lap of the former, will decide democracy is illegal. And then there will be war.

Yesterday Estonian Defense Minister Urmas Reinsalu said he’s sure Russia plans to invade Ukraine. This was carried uncritically and sans any objective examination by the corporatist establishment media in the United States. Ukra ine has admitted there are no Russian troops on the border poised to strike but the US Administration chooses to behave as if Reinsalu is Putin’s official messenger. And who is the loudest rattler of the US sabre? John Kerry.

What does Kerry have to gain from war you might well ask.

It is traditional in US futures markets that the run up to war causes a spike in the price of pork bellied and beans. And what business is the source of John Kerry’s billionaire wife?

beanz meanz war
“I would have gotten away with it too if you pesy bloggers hadn’t stuck your noses in”

UPDATE – 17 March
Interesting to not that stock markets in London and New Yorn opened sharply up this morning. As Milo Minderbender in Catch 22 said, “War is good for business.”