Victoria’s Secrets

Last year or was it 2008, time goes so quickly in blogland, we reported on a pair of Queen Vic’s Knicks coming up for auction and fetching a right old bundle. The outside (50 inch waist) bloomers were auctioned at the salerooms of Hanson’s of Derby and the hammer fell at £4,500.

Reasons why the garment fetched such a price are hinted at in our linked article.

Why are they blethering on about something they posted over a year ago? you might well ask.

Well if you are a fan of all things royal or a Regina-eroticist you might be interested to learn Queen Victoria’s silk stockings are now being sold by private collector (nudge, nudge) The items will be knocked down at the Lyon and Turnbull Auction in Edinburgh on 24 March. Though not as highly prized by collectors as the knickers Queen Vic’s Stockings are expected to attract bids in the region of £400.

What this proves to us when seen in the light of the row about homeopathy (reported at the Daily Stirrer) currently raging between the “Science is God” lobby and the “it’s hippies own business what they spend their money on” freethinkers is that what people spend their hard – earned on truly is their own business. Even at £400 a pair for ancient stockings.

Homepathy is endorsed by members of the royal family of course. We cannot comment on whether that has any bearing on the value of Queen Vic’s underwear athough as homeopathy allegedly works through a memory of a substance being stored in water maybe there is a memory of Victoria’s majesty in the gusset of her pants.

Big Knickers Revenge Of Betrayed Woman.

Hell hath no fury like an Australian woman scorned. Anna from Queensland has taken revenge on her cheating husband by auctioning his mistress’s “huge” panties and his “size small” condom packet on eBay.

She says next in line for auction will probably be her husband’s Harley Davidson motorcycle “at a start price of 99 cents and, of course, with no reserve!” Now that is going a bit too far we think.

But what of the items online so far? A photograph shows the lacy black undies, described as “size humongous” and the “size small” condom wrapper, which the woman found in her bed. Anna says of the panties: “They are so huge I thought they may make someone a nice shawl or, even better, something for Halloween perhaps.”

Now Boggart Blog cannot comment on the condoms but the knickers don’t look that big. Perhaps Anna was driven by shame to exaggerate, she did allege the items were found in her marital bed after hubby allegedly brought big arsed lover Kylie to their home for a sex session while Anna was at work.

Hmm, Kylie eh? This story is starting to smell a bit fishy and it’s nothing to do with Kylie’s big knickers.

Anna describes how she returned home early from work after her “soon to be ex-husband” of 22 years mistakenly sent her a romantic text message meant for the other woman, only to find him discouraging her from entering their bedroom. Now if the bed was still warm from the heat of Kylies abundant bottom why was the husband sending romantic texts to a woman who was in bed next to himwhen the text was sent.

Undeterred by simple matter like fabricating a credible story, Anna says that in the bedroom she found the empty condom wrapper under hubby’s pillow and “The Tart’s panties at the foot of the bed”.

The listing was initially taken down by eBay Australia because of its policy of refusing to sell secondhand underwear, spokeswoman Inessa Jackson told Brisbane’s Courier Mail.

“We let her know about the policy and instead she’s now selling a photograph of the offending knickers,” Jackson said.

“eBay does connect colourful buyers with colourful sellers and I wouldn’t be surprised if someone did buy these items, though I couldn’t speculate on who would buy them or why.

“This is obviously very therapeutic for this woman and it must be a great channel for her views on cheating and the sanctity of marriage.”

The photograph, which had a starting price of just 69 US cents, down from the original 99 cents asked for the actual items, had received 47 bids by Thursday, with the top offer standing at 127.50 US dollars with four days to go.

The listing, along with the wife’s story, has been added to eBay Australia’s Best of eBay site at http://bestof.ebay.com.au

Quite frankly Boggart Blog finds it impossible to believe any of this. But when did that ever stop us publishing.

More humour every day from Boggart Blog

Nicholas Moments

Come on girls, we’ve all had them, haven’t we? A Nicholas Moment that is. We’ve forgotten to pack a spare pair, or picked up the wrong ones; my two year old daughter’s in my case, packed as the fresh pair to change into after an hour on the squash court, prompting the Nicholas moment, or evening out with (female) squash partner, knickerless underneath my jeans.
Now I know some celebrities seem to suffer from this more than the average mortal, forgetting to put their panties on despite the fact that they have chosen today to wear a micro mini skirt that would probably be better described as a belt, and that there are hoardes of papparazzi waiting to shoot their every move, (perhaps if they hadn’t had that Brazilian they might have noticed).
But did we really need to know that in all those years of presenting “Wish You Were Here…”, Judith Chalmers was enjoying the longest Nicholas Moment in the history of mankind.
She alleges she did it to avoid VPL (visible panty line) but come on Judith, surely even if they didn’t pay you well enough to afford a pair of bespoke shorts, you could have taken the obvious solution and bought a larger size.