Vegetarian Corbyn And Lardarse Abbott Were Lovers

As lefties carry on grizzling about Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn not singing the Royal Anthem (they don’t even know that God Save The Queen is not actually the national anthem) was yesterday a bigger story than The Conservatives voting to cut tax credits which, the loonies claim will ‘plunge thousands of families into poverty [wong, because a) we knew about that in April, and b) it will only significantly affect houseolds with annual incomes over £40k ], today’s Corbyn story is much better.

It has been revealed that weirdie beardie, vegetarian matchstick man Jezza and Tub Of Lard MP Diane Abbott were one lovers.

abbott-corbyn

We can see from the picture why the affair did not last. Jeremy is a stereotypical sandal wearing, tree hugging tofu scoffer who looks like a good meal would kill him, Diane looks likes she has enjoyed a few too many large helpings of curried goat with rice and peas, steak and chips or pie and mash.

More Political Ineptitude Stirs Sectarian Tensions

“Government minister”lards the lean earth” (almost Shakespeare)

Boggart Blog has reported recently on the abhorrence of Muslims to all things pig related. Amid the surfeit of scaremongering about Islamic extremist terrorism and attempts to secure immunity from attack by appeasement we have seen Oxford University Press ban all pig related words from its publications because pigs are an abomination to Allah and references to them will offend Muslims, while several restaurant chains have stopped serving any dish containing ham or bacon.

Communities minister lards the lean earth (Image Source)

And yet, with typical ham (oops, pardon) fisted incompetence the government, in sending a letter to all British Mosques asking for their help in rooting out extremists in the UK’s Muslim communities, appear to have made matters worse.

How so, you might well ask.

Well the letter, sent to extablishments in which the mere mention of bacon butties, sausage and chips or spam, spam, spam, egg, beans and spam is lisble to trigger apopleptic fits, was drafted and signed by that well known barrel of lard, Eric Pickles of whom Shakespeare might have written: “He sweats to death and lards the lean earth as he walks along.”

  Eric Pickles pictured outside his office recently. (Image source)

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War In Iraq? Lard Bombs Away

ultimate deterrent for middle east war
 How to prevent Islamic State fighters raping non Mulim women. (source: cdnlolzbook)

As usual Boggart Blog is totally against Britain becoming embroiled in another sectarian conflict in the middle east (the theme tune of which will be I Hate You Babe by Sunni and Shia.)

It looks however very much as though or parlimentarians who are debating the issue of whether we should join in the Obama administration’s air strikes on the Islamic State forces in Iraq will approve our return to the killing fields of Iraq.

But rather than send our clapped out, thirty year old warplanes to fire rockets and heavy calibre cannons and drop bombs on the IS, bearing in mind these guys are all fundamentalist Muslims we have a better idea. We can beat the Islamic State without shedding blood.

All we have to do is get our Kurdish allies fire bacon rolls from Mortars while US and British cargo planes drop Lard Bombs from cargo planes. At meddle east surface temperatures the lard will be soft when it hits the ground and will splatter over a wide area, taking out many IS fighters as their Imams declare them unclean.

Better still, to drive the fundamentalists out of the occupied area altogether liquify the lard by mixing it with vegetable oil, stir in pureed SPAM and spray the whole area with the resulting mixture from high flying planes adapted for the job. If the Islamists touch anything or even breathe in any droplets they are unclean and cannot fight because if they die they can’t get into heaven, no eternal life singing the praises of Allah, no virgins, nothing.

Our solution is humane (although not very good for pigs used to make bacon, SPAM and Lard), non lethal, biodegradable, and quite cheap compared to smart bombs that cost £2million a bang and no matter what target they are programmed to hit will seek out and destroy the only wedding party in a ten thousand square mile area.

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Tomorrow (26 September, 2014) the UK Parliament will meet to vote on whether Britain should support Prime Minister David Cameron and US President and Warmonger – in – Chief Barack Hussein Obama in launching yet another war in the middle east, this time against the forces of the Islamic Caliphate, a fundamentalist organisation set up by groups funded armed and trained by the USA and its allies in their quest to overthrow the regime of Bashar Al Assad in Syria.

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Deep Fried Twinkie Burger A Competitor For The Deep Fried Mars Bar?

First for those who don’t know because I didn’t ’til I looked it up, Twinkies a an American snack cake, marketed as a “Golden Sponge Cake with Creamy Filling”. It was formerly made and distributed by Hostess Brands and is again being sold under the Hostess Brands name. (Wikipedia)

twinkies

So far, so good, they’re hardly health food but so long as not eaten in excess they look fine. But Twikies are American and America is the land of excess. And as we all know since Scotland gave us the greatest ever wild adventure in lard abuse, the Deep Fried Mars Bar, American chefs have been feeling a tad put out.

To wrest back the title of World Hampion heavyweight lardmeister, the Amercan catering industry has now launched its own killer Culinary Creation, TheDeep-fried Twinkie Burger.

This lardfest is the latest in a long line of artery-clogging creations that combine everyone’s favorite sweet and savory foods—surely you’ve heard of Krispy Creme burgers and chocolate-covered bacon. No? We British are so repressed.

The Twinkie burger was dreamed up by PYT, a Philadelphia restaurant chain known for its bizarre burger menu. PYT has even combined the two crazy food combos mentioned above by creating a burger that features chocolate-covered bacon and a donut bun. It’s called The Doh! Nut, which makes sense — it sounds like something that The Simpsons star Homer would drool over.

For use in burgers, the beloved Hostess treats are usually frozen; dipped in batter; and deep-fried. The result is a dessert that will make your arteries hurt. PYT tried to improve on the popular treat by adding a pork belly patty, American cheese, and bacon but that was too much even for the world’s greatest lard lovers.

Unfortunately, the deep-fried Twinkie burger is only going to be available for a limited time since it’s just PYT’s burger of the week.

So would you try the Twinkie burger? Or would you, like us Boggart Bloggers, rather set fire to your spleen.

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National Socialists Call For Legal Limit On Fat And Sugar

The National Socialist Party Of Great Britain (formerly The Labour Party) has urged the government to consider introducing legal limits on sugar, salt and fat content in food on the back of lard arse former Labour minister Diane Abbott’s demands for a ban on fried chicken.

Shadow health secretary Andy Burnham said current voluntary agreements with the food industry were not working and the obesity problem was worsening. He said Labour will soon begin a consultation on how to tackle obesity. They could start byunderstanding that the more left wing control freaks go on about how we shouldn’t do something, the more we will do it.

The coalition says working with the food industry through the Responsibility Deal has improved food content and labelling.

But Mr Burnham said the “time has come for new thinking” on the lines of “Ve haf vays of making people give up lard.” He suggested a legal limit on the amount of fat, sugar and salt, especially for foods aimed at children, should be established.

Well I suppose we can all fuck off to France where they eat loads of lard, butter, cream, salty stuff and alcohol and are healthier than we are. Or we could display Burnham’s head and Abbott’s arse on pikes in Parliament Square to warn other self righteous socialist twats of the danger of leturing us.

BBC News
Andy Burnham’s ban on frosties

Ban Fried Chicken Says Lard Arse Diane Abbott

We on the Boggart Blog news desk were rather gobsmacked this story about the rather lardy Labour MP Diane Abbott declaring war on Fried Chicken. We were going to do a pot, kettle joke here but ummm…….

Diane Abbotts war on fried chicken

Typical Labour hypocrisy isn’t it, blaming the fast food industry for her own lack of self discipline and addiction to lard. Also typical of the UK National Socialist Party (the party formerly known as Labour) that lefty MP Diane Abbott looks in the mirror and sees not one big fat gutbucket with a layer of grease glistening on her chin but an entire nation of gutbuckets. Well Karl Marx did write that in a socialist utopia the individual would disappear.

Thus Diane Abbott’s muffin top is everybody’s muffin top, her lard arse is our lardarse and instead of thinking “OMG look at the size of my belly, I must get fit,” she decides it will be Labour’s policy to make everybody get fit. By force if necessary.

Gauleiter Abbott also wants war on fatty, salty snacks and on corner shops selling cheap booze. Apparently Labour have now abandoned “Just Say No” in favour of a policy based on “You must never question authority.”

We are happy to break the news that a fast food industry spokesperson, somebody named Colonel Sanders had called for Diane Abbott to be banned or rendered down for cooking fat.

Toast Sandwich versus Fried Slice sandwich

We can be sure times are hard when the BBC is promoting the toast sandwich as a healthy and nourishing meal.

A report on the Beeb website informs us Britain’s ‘cheapest’ lunchtime meal, first documented in Mrs Beeton’s Cookbook was recreated by food scientists on Wednesday this week.

The Royal Society of Chemistry (RSC whose motto might be “If music be the food of love, the toast sandwich is Shaddupa you face”) is reviving the Victorian dish, which consists of two slices of bread around a slice of toast

The society is so confident in the repast, it will offer £200 to anyone who can create a cheaper alternative to the costing 7.5 pence a portion meal.

Well we’re not cheapskates at boggart Blog so we propose a gourmet version of the toast sandwich, the fried slice sandwich. Melt a knob of lard or butter or heat some olive oil in a frying pan. Take a slice of bread and dip it in the hot fat so both sides are coated.

Now drop it onto the flat surface of the pan and fry gently. When one side is golden brown, turn the bread and repeat the process on the other side.

When both sides of the fried slice are evenly cooked lift it from the pan, place on a slice of unbuttered bread and put another on top. Eat while hot.

This dish is best cooked using the Bog Butter me and fatsally’s dear old Mum used to collect when we were kids but the Thought Police have warned me Boggart Blog will be closed down if I mention that, so I won’t.

Alternatives:
Toast and dripping:
You need a slice of bread, a little beef dripping, a pinch of salt. Toast thye bread on both sides and while it is hot spread with dripping on one side and sprinkle with a little salt. Serving suggestion: Get your gob round it while it’s hot.

Pobbies:
Butter a slice of bread and cut or tear into small sections. Heat some semi skimmed milk ntil warm but not too hot to put in the mouth. Place the buttered bread into the milk and soak until it becomes an ‘orrible sloppy mess. Add sugar to taste.

Sugar Butties:
Butter two slices of bread, sprinkle the buttered side of one with sugar and put the other on top.

Hat tip to Mrs T for remembering two of these and also Condensed Milk sandwiches which we did not include as you have to buy Nestle’s Condensed Milk.

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