Google Vs. Trump: “The Good Censor” On Collision Course With The Patriot President

Authored by ‘Washington Watcher’ via VDare.com,

The leaked internal Google briefing “The Good Censor” [PDF] has received suspiciously little attention from the Main Stream Media, but it represents the crassest statement yet of the Tech oligopolies’ intention to impose Silicon Valley Political Correctness on the U.S.

As American Thinker Editor Thomas Lifson puts it:

“I congratulate Breitbart.com for the scoop, and I urge everyone -I am looking at you, President Trump and Congress – to read and ponder the fate of the Republic unless this company is defanged, most likely by antitrust action, but possibly also via civil courts.” [Stunning 85-page Google memo ‘The Good Censor’ leaked to BreitbartOctober 10, 2018]

What are Trump’s options? He’s certainly thinking about the issue.

The Washington Post reported recently that the White House was backing off a proposed executive order that would have required federal agencies to “investigate and/or prosecute” tech giants for bias. Administration officials told WaPo:

“Although the White House is concerned about the conduct of online platforms and their impact on society, this document is not the result of an official White House policymaking process.” [White House distances itself from reports that Trump could target Facebook, Google and Twitter with a new executive order, by Tony Romm and Josh Dawsey, September 22, 2018]

WaPo reported Trump has demanded an executive order on this matter for some time, but all of the drafts have been deemed “unworkable.” Sources tell the Watcher that the fallout from the leak deterred the President but he still considers the issue a top priority for his base and he wants it addressed.

Of course, first, we have to shoot down True Conservative notions that it’s not the government’s job to resolve tech censorship. Dogmatic Conservatism Incers insist the free market will magically fix the problem and government intervention would somehow be worse than suppression of right-wing views. Some—such as The Weekly Standard’sJonathan Last—have even celebrated this censorship as a necessary measure against “repugnant” voices. [The Case for Banning Alex JonesAugust 8, 2018]

All of these opinions are absolutely ridiculous and predicated on the notion that Big Tech won’t go after “respectable” conservatives, which isn’t even the case. PragerU, a mainstream conservative outlet, has been censored numerous times by Facebook and YouTube, in spite of its painfully respectable brand. And others will soon face the same treatment once the T ech Totalitarians realize they can continue this malfeasance with impunity. [Facebook Censors PragerU Videos And Shadow Bans Posts, by Kyle Perisec, The Daily Caller, August 17, 2018]

The “free market” can’t do anything about it. Google has cornered over 92 percent of the search engine market—a higher market share percentage than Standard Oil at its peak. Big Tech has made sure that Gab, a free speech alternative to Twitter, is barredfrom ever posing a serious challenge. And no one wants to use a “conservative” Facebook. [Hate speech crackdown spreads to behind-the-scenes tech, by Tony Romm and Elizabeth Dwoskin, Washington Post, August 10, 2018]

Big Tech has manipulated the free market to benefit its own interests and power. Tech execs know they don’t have to worry about conservative competition putting an end to their malpractices.

That leaves only one serious alternative: government intervention.

It is in America’s interest for this to happen. The public forums and printing presses of our day are Facebook, YouTube and Twitter. If you are barred from these platforms, you are effectively eliminated from the public square. Big Tech wants to ensure right-wing viewpoints are consigned to the dustbin and no one has the freedom to share those views in public.

This is where Donald Trump can step in and halt these disturbing efforts.

MORE ON GOOGLE:


Speaking Tuth To Power (When power does not want to listen)

In almost every democratic nation our right of free speech is under attack. In Britain, Australia, Canada and all the main European Union member states we see harsh punishments imposed on those found guilty of ‘hate speech,’ laws, which protect certain minorities from any criticism, no matter how reasonable, made by people from the mainstream of society …

Independent Study Says Google Influenced Midterm Elections, May Have Cost Republicans Seats: Study

Lord Rothschild: The New World Order Is At Risk


Baron Jacob Rothschild – concerned banker or Bond villain? (Picture Source:  http://www.myfirstclasslife.com  )

In the RIT Capital Partners 2014 annual report, the head of Rothschild family banking empire warned that “the geopolitical situation is most dangerous since WWII.” A year later, Baron Jacob Rothschild repeated his warning about the outcome of “what is surely the greatest experiment in monetary policy in the history of the world”. In August 2017 with markets still behaving irrationally he cautioned that “share prices have in many cases risen to unprecedented levels at a time when economic growth is by no means assured.”

Little did he know at the time that, driven by High Frequency Trading, computer algorithms and a quasi religious blind faith in technology they would keep rising, but related to that, he also made another warning which the market has so far ignored:

The period of monetary accommodation may well be coming to an end. Geopolitical problems remain widespread and are proving increasingly difficult to resolve.

In the latest half-year commentary from RIT Capital Partners published yesterday, Lord Rothschild made his sternest warning to date, this time focusing on the global economic system that was established after WWII to create a new world order, and which he believes is now in jeopardy.

The billionaire banker pointed to the US-China trade war, which is really a US versus Russia, China and Iran currency war, and the Eurozone crisis, with the resurgence of nationalism threatening the European Unity project after the UK’s Brexit vote, as the key problems putting economic order at risk, and the lack of a “common approach” – a reference to the gradual unwind of global thinking in the wake of President Trump – that has made “co-operation today much more difficult”:

“In 9/11 and in the 2008 financial crisis, the powers of the world worked together with a common approach. Co-operation today is proving much more difficult. This puts at risk the post-war economic and security order.”

It wasn’t clear if he was referring to the post-war fiat money standard that emerged once FDR devalued the dollar relative to gold, and then fixed a price for the yellow metal, a tenuous link that was subsequently destroyed by Nixon who finally took the US off the gold standard, or the primacy of the dollar which emerged as the world’s reserve currency after the end of WWII, paving the way for the US to bid for global hegemony, but whenever one of the people who profited handsomely from the “post war world order” warns it may be on its last legs, it may be time to worry.

Either way it is hard to believe that Rothschild is a stupid man, although living in an elitist bubble he may be detached from reality, but his comments suggest that he is unaware the great mass of people have woken up to the fact that globalisation can only benefit the elite in the west, while diminishing the educated populations of developed nations in favour of buying the loyalty of uneducated third world multitudes with handouts and cheap gadgets.

With global risks growing after politicians and the banking cartel have kicked the can down the road for several years by printing money, how is Rothschild positioned? He writes that “in the circumstances our policy is to maintain our limited exposure to quoted equities and to enter into new commitments with great caution” and indeed, in the first half, RIT had a net quoted equity exposure of only 47%, historically low. The reason: the iconic banking family is concerned that the 10-year bullish cycle and market rally could finally be ending.

While Rothschild noted that “many of the world’s economies have enjoyed a broad-based acceleration not seen since the aftermath of the financial crisis of 2008, with as many as 120 countries seeing stronger growth last year” he also cautioned that “we continue to believe that this is not an appropriate time to add to risk. Current stock market valuations remain high by historical standards, inflated by years of low interest rates and the policy of quantitative easing which is now coming to an end.”

One potential risk is Europe, where debt levels have reached “potentially destructive levels”.

Quite so, but the growth we have seen since the 2008 crash has not been organic growth but has occurred mainly because interest rates at which governments lend to banks (by selling bonds to fund their deficits,) have been artificially maintained at suicidally low levels. This has enabled banks to borrow at a quarter or a half per cent, and use their borrowings to buy bonds with a fixed rate of three or three and a half per cent (or higher for nations with weaker economies.) These bonds often give a higher yield as it is possible to buy them at a discount.

Globalisation And The Destruction Of Civilisation
Despite repeated assertions that this blog does not align itself with either of those anachronistic labels, left and right, our oppositions to globalisation (an attack on benefits the early trade union movement fought for,) and our support for controlled borders and strict vetting of immigrants we are often accused by those who like to label themselves ‘left’ (because it sounds cuddlier) …

Can Americans Overthrow The Evil That Rules Them?
The anti – establishment, anti – globalisation mood that manifested itself in the Brexit vote is sweeping across Europe, the cosy government – corporate cartel is desperately trying to control the narrative, but against the combined strength of millions of new media commentators all challenging the official; narrative, the dark forces of globalism are on the back foot.

Is Bilderberg A Sinister Group That Runs The World Or Just A Tea Party For Rich And Powerful People
Are the Bilderberg Group meeting, this weekend in Dresden, Germany, really The Shadow Government (the New World Order, The Illuminati,) that rules the world?
The Oligarchy Is Tottering – Trump Tramples The Neocons’ “False Song Of Globalism”
Donald Trump scares the global establishment as do the anti Federalisation parties in the EU. We take a long and detailed look at why, and exactly what the globalist agenda would have meant for freedom and democracy had people not wonken up and opposed it in vast numbers. Kudos to the Islamic Jihad too, medievalist religious nuts they may be, but they resisted American attempt to impose western consumer culture on them.

If You Look At How Fast Global Trade Is Unravelling, You’ll Get Dizzy
Governments constantly make positive noises about the health of their economies although most people who are in work have felt no improvement on the position they were in after the crash of 2008. Wages are stagnant, employment has reduced somewhat (see below) and while the banks are printing money and the super rich are widening the gap between themselves and ordinary people faster than ever, the real situation is frightening.

The New World order Pope Wants You To Pray For One World Religion
The Marxist, globalist, Soros apparatchik currently posing as head of the Catholic faith wants to scrap the Catholic Church. He didn’t say that in so many words but he has called on Catholics to pray for the creation of a world religion (because love and peace) which would embrace


Democracy Murdered In France

I’m hearing very disturbing news from the French regional elections, predicting that the Front National, comfortable winners in last week’s first round of regional elections, hasve been routed in all regions. For that to happen, and to happen through a massive increase in turnout, suggests electoral fraud on a hughe scale. Or has France joined Britain in adopting the Islamic version of democracy, which is one man one vote, one Imam one thousand votes.

Who Runs America, The White House Or The Shadow Government?
Reports of President Barack Obama’s meeting with Russian leader Vladimir Putin at the G20 summit over the weekend do not look right in the context of yet another blitz of provocative rhetoric from The Pentagon and the Department of Defence towards Moscow. In view of the USA’s constant push towards all out war with Russia, one has to ask who is in control: Obama or the generals?

EU “Sounds Alarm” Over New US Sanctions On Russia; Germany Threatens Retaliation
Late on Friday (21/07/17), Congressional negotiators agreed to advance a cross – party bill that would punish Russia for its (alleged) interference in the 2016 election according to the Wall Street Journal. And while it seems improbable that President Trump would sign the bill if it reaches his desk, the loudest complaint about the bill to date has emerged not from the Oval Office, but from US allies in NATO and the European Union …

Trump catches attention of CFR, Bilderberg, Trilateral

Donald Trump is portrayed as a clown by mainstream media and his combover is the silliest I have ever seen. Still, he’s a billionaie so I don’t suppose he gives a flying fuck what The Daily Stirrer thinks of him. Not that we think he is all bad, anyone who attacks Obama’s global naziism trade deals, TTIP and TPP mush have some good points.

Prepare For The Worst Case Scenario
An article on the cashless society our political and corporate overlords are pushing for proposes that as far as privacy and individual liberty are concerned, what is being planned right now in the political capitals and financial centres of the world is the worst case scenarion. An all digital financial system would mean the end of privacy, nothing you bought or traded would be your own business any more …

How Mainstream Media And The Major Political Parties Are Making Sure Voters Do not Hear The Voices Of Politics’ Most Powerful Critics
As the General Election campaign starts to heat up, we try to shift focus away from the squabbling between Conservative and Labour about who can make the most promises they have no intention of keeping and to the real issues concerning jobs, social breakdown , mass immigration, and loss of national sovereignty.

US Presidents Of The Past warned Against Secret, Shadow Government.
By now it should be obvious that peacemake, joybringer and putative aquatic pedestrian Barack Hussein Obama was never really in charge of the US Government. Whatever Obama said would happen, all the American government’s policies ensured the opposit would happen. The embedded article thows some light on how the US government really works

The American Political System Is “Not A Democracy Or Constitutional Republic” – Thiel
The state of democracy in the USA has become a hot topic of conversation in American business circles in recent years. While President Barack Hussein Obama, not so much a man as an ego on long skinny legs, has increasingly been inclined to rule by executive order in the manner of a despot or tyrant, even Obama’s fiercest critics have to admit the American electoral system seems increasingly capable of delivering only political paralysis …

U.S. versus Russia War: Top Russian Politics Scolar Stephen Cohen Tells The Truth
We have been blogging for four years about the US drive for war, provocation of Russia in Syria, Iraq, Ukraine and elsewhere made it obvious. But I’m just a news junkie with a strong sense of curiosity and have wondered why the US seems set on this course. Good to see experts like Stephen Cohen, a prominent expert on, Russia are coming onside.

Another Reason To Get Out Of EU. UKIP MEP Hits Out At Fishing Policy That Penalises British Fishing Crews
As the General Election campaign starts to heat up, we try to shift focus away from the squabbling between Conservative and Labour about who can make the most promises they have no intention of keeping and to the real issues concerning jobs, social breakdown , mass immigration, and an often overlooked area in which our EU membership has perhaps done more damage than any other, the fishing industry.

Multi-Cultural England: Are You Feeling The Progressive Diversity.
As racial and sectarian tension increase on the streets of britain while politicians gear up for the election campaign, we take a look at the state of Britain today, Imigrant child abuse gangs, Clerics of alien faiths dictating moral strictures, and everywhere we look, foreigners being given provieged status. Is it any wonder the voters are angry?

Another Conspiracy Theory Becomes Fact: Oil Collapse Is All About Obama’s Proxy War With Russia.
While we are distracted with sex scandals at home and terrorists rampaging through the middle east and Africa, the US / EU / NATO confrontation with Russia / China / Iran is geting into a very dangerous state. While the Chinese led move to dump the US dollar as global reserve currency is causing economic chaos, the USA attempts to provoke armed conflict with Russia are getting more reckless and desperate.

Seventy Years Down The Line And We Have Come Back To Appeasement As A Means To Peace.
As a spate of increasingly bloody and violent attacks on civilized values and the democratif freedoms of the western nations (free speech for example) continues to cause revulsion among the general population, our spineless leader are calling on us to be tolerant. The cowardly hypocrites who lead us may be ready to surrender, but anger is mounting in the cities and towns.

Another Blow To The US Dollar Reserve Currency Status As Russia Sings Up Turkey, India
The move led by Russian and China to dump the US dollar as global reserve currency continues to gain momentum. Most recent nations to sign bilateral agreements to settle cross border transactions in the currency of the vendor are India and Turkey.

Even The BIS Is Shocked At How Broken Markets Have Become.
If the Bank of International Settlements (BIS) the bank where banks and governments do business is worried about the state of the markets, we are in bigger trouble than anyone is letting on.

Based on info at ZH (reveal)
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Petro-yuan: China To Launch Renminbi As Reserve Currency & Take Down Petro-dollar

China’s launch of a Yuan-backed oil futures market could shatter the US dollar dominance of the crude oil market, a goal China and Russia, with support from, Iran, have been working towards for at least five years. The US dollar will not give up the top spot easily however so we can expect interesting times ahead for business and trade.

The long awaited yuan-backed crude oil futures market was launched at the end of last month in Shanghai. China is the world’s biggest oil consumer, with eyes on rival benchmarks Brent and WTI as well as the US currency. Beijing sees the US dollar dominated oil market as standing in the way of it’s becoming the world’s largest economy.

Trading of the new oil futures contracts for September settlement started on the Shanghai International Energy Exchange at 440.20 yuan ($69.70) per barrel, reports Chinese daily the South China Morning Post. Some 18,540 lots have reportedly been sold and purchased so far.

“The question number one is whether China will be able to make the oil market its demand market, and not the oil supply market traded in dollars, which it is now,” Vladimir Rozhankovsky, Global FX Investment analyst comented, according to geopolitics.co. China has recently overtaken the US as the world’s number one oil buyer.

If the world trade enters into a death spiral of reciprocal economic sanctions, keeping oil trade in dollars will be a matter of strategic importance, or a matter of survival for the US,” the analyst added, referring to the recent spate of tit for tat export tariffs imposed by China and the USA.

As a result of these, Washington can deliberately undermine the image of the petro-yuan by attacking Chinese stock, which could result in the devaluation of the yuan, making Chinese oil futures less attractive, Rozhankovsky said. However, the US has some major disadvantages on which the petro-yuan can capitalize. First, the US dollar is still overvalued in currency markets, making domestic oil production very expensive. Second, while Russia and Iran have overland pipelines, the United States does not have transatlantic pipelines to its major markeys in Europe, and tankers are costly and highly risky, the analyst added.

“The trade war between the US and China has already begun. China has plans to promote the renminbi as a reserve currency and there is no better move than to purchase raw materials in its national currency. It can save money on the currency conversion and become less dependent on the US dollar,” Stanislav Werner, head of the analytical department of Dominion, commented in whatreallyhappened.com

Werner notes that the oil market is worth $14 trillion at the moment, and is bigger than the Chinese economy. “The first trading sessions were volatile, but this is a typical story for new financial instruments. The US has a serious reason to get nervous, because in many ways the hegemony of the US dollar came from oil trading in dollars,” he said.

Europe Prepares To Join The Currency War

Things seemed to be going to plan for the European Unon’s single currecncy, The Euro, which was the biggest single step in the plan to merge member states into a single political entity. Tied to the German economic powerhouse the poorer nations could not manage their finances efficiently and soon became dependent on bailouts from the European Central Bank which were made with attached conditions suggested by Germany.

Mainstream Media Reports Truth: West No Match For Russian Military Hardware
Merkel Declares War On “Fake News” EU Brands Russia Today, Sputnik “Dangerous Propaganda”
China launches global yuan payment system
China’s Central Bank has started a global payment system which provides cross-border transactions in yuan. The China International Payment System (CIPS) intends to internationalize the yuan and challenge the US dollar’s dominance.

Washington is pushing Kiev to military solution of Donbass conflict
The US is inciting Kiev to end the crisis in eastern Ukraine by force, said the Russian foreign minister citing US support of the recent Ukrainian law on the special self-governing status of Donbass, which Moscow says undermines the Minsk-2 deal.

The Imperatives Behind The New cold War
The ‘new Cold War,’ against Russia, is something of a misnomer, because it differs from the original version, against the U.S.S.R., in that it’s already a hot war, which started in Ukraine as being the key proxy-state for the American Government’s chief foreign-policy aim, of defeating Russia.

The world is dumping the American dollar
Fears for the future of the US dollar
Iran, oil and the US dollar
Obama and Kerry warmongering is about saving the dollar
Collapse of the petrodollar imminent
Obama goes head to head with Russia over the Petrodollar
India and Turkey latest sign – ups to dump the dollar club
Russia, Ukraine and the Petrodollar
American dollar dumped?
America’s global hegemony broken?
America’s true debt disaster
Is the USA leading the collapse of the global economy
How the Wall Street Bankers have rigged markets
A conspiracy of Bankers
Debt: The Quadrillion Dollar conspiracy
The dollar ponzi scheme keeps US economy afloat
Why printing money has failed the western economies
Imminent collapse of the petrodollar
Russia and China make war on petrodollar while Obama vacillates
Russia and China sign up Turkey and India to moves against dollar

Did The Bank Of England Just Admit Financial Markets Aren’t "Real"?

On a day that has seen global financial markets take a roller coaster ride, which is not the fault of greedy bankers but is the latest move in the currency war being fought between the USA led developed world and the eastern bloc and emerging powers led by Russia and China, we spotted a story that reveals the truth about ‘markets which is that they are all rigged and the eastern bloc are better tat playiong the system than the west..

The Bank of England has announced an “Open Forum” to be held on November 11, with the title: Building Real Markets for the Good of the People. No, I’m not making this up. Here’s a screenshot from the BOE website:

This might be good news for people with pensions and savings, but don’t depend on it – the corruption in the financial system is very deep. At best we can hope to see curbs on the algorithm driven high frequency trading that has served investment bankers and financial traders so well and the public so poorly.

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Elsewhere: [Boggart Blog]…[Little Nicky Machiavelli]…[Scribd]…[Wikinut] … [ Boggart Abroad] … [ Grenteeth Bites ] … Ian Thorpe at Flickr ] … [ Tumblr ] … [ Ian at Minds ] … [ The Origninal Boggart Blog]

So You Think Control Of Media Is A Conspiracy Theory

control of media
Picture Source: zengardner.com

Oh yeah, we hear it all, “Just a crazy conspiracy theory”, “There’s nothing going on that the government doesn’t tell the whole truth about”, “Only a paranoid nut job would doubt the information in government propaganda handouts.”

Well how about this story which I found on Zero hedge which is becoming one of my favourite websites for accurate, verifiable news on finance and business. It concerns a factual article posted on the Financial Times website which was quickly removed and never appeared in print. Zero Hedge reproduce the article in full so I was able to verify its content.

from Zero Hedge

Two days ago the FT released a clear, informative and fact-based article, titled simply enough “Gold price rigging fears put investors on alert” in which author Madison Marriage, citing a report by the Fideres consultancy, revealed that global gold prices may have been manipulated on 50 per cent of occasions between January 2010 and December 2013.

To those who have been following the price action of gold in the past four years, gold manipulation is not only not surprising, but accepted and widely appreciated (because like the Chinese those who buy gold would rather do so at artificially low rather than artificially high fiat prices) and at this point, after every other product has been exposed to be blatantly and maliciously manipulated by the banking estate, it is taken for granted that the central banks’ primary fiat alternative, and biggest threat to the monetary status quo, has not …

Read full article at Zero Hedge (scroll down past the screenshot of what is at that Financial Times url now

If you still think there is no powerful group or cartel manipulating the world economy and that the global, totalitarian government called for by Rothschild, Rockefeller, Soros, Bill Gates, Pappy Bush, Barack Obama and Tony Blair amongst other criminals and undesirables is a jolly good idea and in everyone’s best interests, leave a comment and we’ll put your name forward for enrolment in the “Useless Eaters” regiment under the new Nazi progressive regime.]

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Threat To Free Speech
How the elite will steal the world

The Beautiful Scam Behind the Stock Market Chaos

stockmarketcrash
Picture Source: philip9876.com

The Dow Has Already Fallen More Than 1000 Points From The Peak Of The Market
The Financial Markets are a beautiful scam. Take a look at what has happened in the past few days in the context of market activity over the past year and then I’ll tell you how the scam works.

“On Monday of this week the Dow Jones Industrial Index was down 326 points. This followed sharp falls towards the end of last week. Overall, the Dow dropped more than 1000 points from the peak of the market (16,588.25) back in late December.”

The Economic Collapse blog said this:

“This is the first time that we have seen the Dow drop below its 200-day moving average in more than a year, and there are many that believe that this is just the beginning of a major stock market decline. Meanwhile, things are even worse in other parts of the world. For example, the Nikkei is now down about 1700 points from its 2013 high. This is causing havoc all over Asia, and the sharp movement that we have been seeing in the USD/JPY is creating a tremendous amount of anxiety among Forex traders. For those that are not interested in the technical details, what all of this means is that global financial markets are starting to become extremely unstable.

Unfortunately, there does not appear to be much hope on the horizon for investors. In fact, troubling news just continues to pour in from all over the planet. Just consider the following…

Read all …

Now unfortunately to some people the word market has become a sacred cow in the way that words like gay, lesbian, black, equality and disadvantaged have to others. The fact is financial markets have little to do with free markets. The financial markets are and always have been the most tightly controlled and heavily manipulated area of international commerce.

Since the 2008 crash the global economy has stagnated, even China’s economic miracle is stalling. As John Steinbeck told us, “The monster has to grow or it will die, and if the monster is to grow it must be fed.” The question is how do we feed a growing monster when the food supply is static. And the answer unfortunately is that the monster must be allowed to steal our share of the food supply.

After recovering gradually from the 2008 crash, stocks finally returned to pre crash levels sometime last year (or maybe late in 2012, I don’t keep statistics. At that point the monster was close to starvation. And so the store of food in the larder had to be made to look greater than it was.

How is that done? Traders working for the big banks start to force up prices by holding stocks and only releasing a trickle to be traded. The media play their part by hyping positive economic news and creating the impression that economies are growing strongly. Prices start to go up and everybody wants a piece of the action. Fund managers pile in although they understand how the game is played, so your savings and pension funds are invested and eventually individual small investors are sucked up in the tsunami of false confidence.

Then comes the point where the big investors have taken as much as they want out of savings and pensions. Sell, sell, sell, the cry runs round the market and the pre planned panic takes hold. Fund managers are first to offload stocks and get into cash or bonds, small investors cannot react as quickly and are hit hardest. The market goes through what is euphemistically known as a ‘correction’ and when it bottoms out the big investors quietly start to buy up stocks again, ready for the next bubble.

If you are not one of the people being hit there is a certain poetic beauty to it really.

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Death by debt
Creating Wealth
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Our New Unhappy Lords
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Constipated? The Turdle Will Be A Moving Experience

You have to love the creativity of get rich quick merchants inventors looking for ways to benefit humankind … especially if you are the type of person who has to strain for ten minutes before things start moving.

An American team of innovators have come up with a clever, easy to use device that will have you dunging copiously in a matter of seconds. Shaped like a half-cylinder and made with a texture that resembles a yoga mat, the “Turdle” requires you to gently lean forward with the device in your lap, creating subtle pressure in just the right place to help you get do what a person’s gotta do (but a surprisinly large number of us can’t.

Not sure about the name “Turdle” it sounds like something a dodgy contestant in The Apprentice would come up with in a task that requires Lord Sugar’s buggers to crack the health market , but the issue of chronic constipation is quite serious.

Millions of people suffer from it, and they often either end up addicted to chemical laxatives and wearing a colostomy bag a or spending inordinate amounts of time on the toilet, straining and possibly ending up trying to seaparate their tonsils from their Farmer Giles.

The Turdle solves the problem in a totally different way: A gentle pressure massage stimulates your large intestine and supports your natural peristaltic action for achieving elimination!

See a doctor demonstrating the turdle