When Did The Daily Mirror Merge With National Enquirer?

mars attacks
Mars attacks (picture source)

So when was that once upon a time respectable newspaper The Daily Mirror taken over by The National Enquirer or The Sunday Sport. I was just blogging over on Little Nicky Marchiavelli about conspiracy theories that just cannot be taken seriously and straight away I find this – the gods of blogging truly smile upon Boggart Blog …

“Retired US Marine claims he spent 17 years on MARS protecting five human colonies from Martians The – Daily Mirror

The retired officer, known only as Captain Kaye, also claims to have served in a secret ‘space fleet’ run by a multinational organisation called the Earth Defense Force.

The ex-naval infantryman, who uses the pseudonym Captain Kaye, says he was posted to the Red Planet to protect five human colonies from indigenous Martian life forms.

He claims he then spent nearly three years serving in a secret ‘space fleet’ run by a multinational organisation called the Earth Defense Force, which recruits military personnel from countries including the US, Russia and China.”

Read full article at The Daily Mirror

All I can say is maybe this soldier was involved in the US Military’s program to develop and weaponize mind bending drugs.

Forward Psychic Soldiers
The UFO Sighting That Convinced The Government
Psychological warfare
Did You See That?
Stupid Evolution
Turd Nine From Outer Space

A Message From God On Mars?

I love the “Before It’s News” web site. It carries a delicious mix of stories that are either outrageous and unsubstantiated allegation and rumour, paranoid scaremongering, scurrilous slander (“Nude Pictures Of Barack Obama’s Mother in Satanic Ritual” – if I was a Satnist I’d sue over that one), cryptozoological freaks, warnings of apocalyptic events, and stuff that is just stark raving bonkers.

The best I have seen for a long time though carries the headline “NASA Finds Message From God On Mars” and concerns reports that people in charge of the Mars Rover have been hinting that before the end of the year they will reveal a discovery made by equipment on the Red Planet that will “change everything.”

Well it could be a message from God of course, although if it was intended for us it would nor inspire much confidence to learn he does not even know which planet we live on.

On the other hand it could be pictures of aliens showing their arses, Elvis, Osama bin Laden, Lord Lucan, a squadron of WW2 planes that went missing on a training flight near Bermuda,the lost chord or the lost civilization.

Or might it be the skeletal remains of ET who was trying to phone home, got through to a call centre customer complaints department and was put on hold.

Peacemaker and joybringer starts another war

UFO Explorer’s Gold Disc Not For Life On Mars

UFO researcher Stephen Hannard of ADGUK has posted an interesting video of a shiny gold disk spotted by the Martian Rover thingy on Mars.

Don’t take any notice when those UFO fans tell you this is proof of life on Mars.

It’s actually the one Elton John got for Rocket Man

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Life on Mars

As the bad week continues, Mrs T is recovering from the same problem the Queen had so I have switched back from being carer to being cared for. My stint in the kitchen and doing household chores knackered me however and I don’t have much left in the tank.

Catching up on my notification however I did notice one startling omission on Boggart Blog’s part.

We missed a story about the multi – billion $$$ mision to Mars finding signs of primitive life on the red planet. As one might expect scientists are getting their knickers in a right old twist about this.

All we can say is “It’s a godawful small affair to the girl with the mousey hair.”

Global Warming Alarmists show their proficiency in the sciene of flogging a dead horse.

They’re Coming – Did US Army shoot down a UFO and are more on the way?

The recording on video of a vapour trail from an unexplained aerial object sighted near California has caused a stir.

The American government and military deny it was anything to do with them.

Civil aviation authorities say the event did not show up on radar.

People with long memories recall a similar sighting in the same area, around Catalina Island off the Californian Coast.

Some of the more lively minded commentators are claiming the U.S. Air Force has shot down a UFO to prevent an alien attack on earth (follow this the link and scroll down for film of 1966 sighting – or maybe a clip from the Ed Wood film Plan Nine From Outer Space.)

In the absence of any other logical explanation we must go along with this and warn our readers THEY’RE COMING

So when Mars Attacks and the Martians land to take over the world and destroy our race here is some advice on how to defend yourself.

The Only Defence Against Martians Video clip from the film Mars Attacks.

Turd Nine From Outer Space
Did You see That? An excursion into the weird world of Cryptozoology

Americans to land on Mars? O Bummer

I read President Obama has announced plans to secure his legacy reignite the American pioneeering spirit by approving a NASA project to put humans into orbit around Mars. The first manned expedition to another planet will send back photographs of the Red Planet but Obama hopes that will lead on to putting humans on the surface of Mars.

There has been a lot of gung – ho babble over the pond about what an enormous boost this will be for the American economy and how it will re-establish American scientific and technological supremacy.

So apart from a bit of balls out politics what would such a mission achieve. The kind of people who believe Star Wars is real like to talk of the great technological advances made from the moon landing project. They have difficulty naming any of course, apart from non stick frying pans (but wouldn’t you want your sausages to stick to the pan when frying in zero gravity?) which were not actually a spin off from the moon project.

All the lunar exploration programme really achieved was to send us some pictures of rocks and dust and then to bring back some rocks and dust.

Hardly inspiring is it, unless Obama thinks a free market in rocks and dust will take the place of the free market in toxic debts and the now aborted free market in carbon credits?

Exactly what the world need to deliver Obama’s promised hope and change, restore our enthusiasm for racking up more domestic debt and lift the global economy out of the doldrums, is rocks and dust from Mars. Or perhaps not…

I’m glad Britain will not be part of this project. If I fancy some rock I’ll dig out a few Black Sabbath records and I can see all the dust I ever want to by looking under my bed.

Life In Mars

Shock Horror! Vegetarians are up in arms about news that dead animals are to be put in Mars Bars.
The question that must be asked is not why Mars ?Bars need to have squirrels and badgers put in the mix but what are veggies, who are always ranting about the alleged health benefits of a meat free diets doing munching anything as unhealthy as Mars Bars (and if you are particularly pedantic you might ask what the hell the MILK chocolate coating is actually made from)
Boggart Blog advice for a healthy diet is simply this: don’t worry whether it has four legas and a furry face, two legs and wings, no lega and scales or leaves and roots, or it comes from windowless factories full of stainless steel machinerey and vats of chemical gloop, if it looks like shite and smells like shite dDON’T EAT IT!

It is worth notinh that the benefits of a vegetaran dietary regimes were first exponded nearly two hundred years ago by Reverend William Cowherd.

Meteoric Price Rise

A meteorite believed to have come from an asteroid belt between Mars and Jupiter sold for $93,000 (£53,000) at an auction of rare space sculptures.
The 355lb chunk of iron, thousands of years old and discovered in Argentina, was one of 10 meteorites that went for high prices at Bonhams.

And I saw one knocked down for a fiver on Bargain Hunt not so long ago. Cheap as chips if you ask me.

Life on Mars

Today BoggartBlog invites Ed Butt, editor of our “Conspiracy Theory of the Month” feature to comment on recent claims that the discovery of ice on Mars proves there was once life on the red planet and justifies America’s plan to land men there.

I heard that Bush bloke wants to go to Mars innit? Well, not him personally but, y’know, an American. I mean, Bush never managed to find his way out of Texas ’til they gave him a military escort.
Mars mind you.
Course its all eyewash innit? Does he think we haven’t noticed the U.S. Army are getting their arse kicked in Iraq and the economy is in deep poo on account of the French collaborating with China. They’re always collaborating with someone, the French. So old Bush see, he figures I’ll land a man on the Mars as part of the war on terror, that will divert people. It worked for Nixon in 1968 didn’t it? He put a man on the the Moon and everyone forgot about the war on Viet – Nam for a bit. So Bushy and his fellow conspirators think “Keep Bin Laden off Mars, get an American up there.” will work for him. It don’t exactly slip off the tongue like “Keep Moscow off the Moon” did I’ll grant you, but if you wanted a bit of alliteration you would have to say “Keep Bin Laden off Betelgeuse” and that would not be credible as we know Al Quaeda are a long way off developing interstellar hyperdrives yet.
But do you actually have to put a man on Mars? There are some, mentioning no names, who think the moon landing was filmed on a Star Trek set and Aldrin was played by a fat Scotsman who said “Ye cannae change the laws o’ physics.” Conspiracy theorists such people are called by the tabloids. Conspiracy my arse. Of course those blokes landed on the moon else how could Armstrong have come back and reported that Aliens had warned him off ever returning. That’s the troof innit, right? Else why would we never have gone back. That and the fact that NASA lost the map.
Anyone can tell the film of the landing is edited and there are clips cut in of a pilot episode of Star Trek what was never shown on account of Spock’s ears kept falling off. What really happened on the moon but they never tell us is that when Armstrong got out of the module there’s these Aliens, all spidery and silver with bug eyes waiting for him. And he says “we come in peace, take us to your leader. And the top Alien says, “humans, you are all bastards, sod off or we will zap you with mind rays of mass destruction. Because these Aliens, their minds are so powerful they can kill thousands of us with one thought.
And that is why Bush needs to get a man on Mars, or a least appear to so as to stop Bin Laden going there. Because if Bin Laden got hold of the secret of mind rays we would all be in trouble.

Ed Butt,
Boggart Blog,
Not On This Planet.

Science will lead us out of the recession