The Solar Eclipse Is Over and Done With – Thank You Great Boggart

Has that stupid, boring eclipse business finished yet? I first saw an eclipse when aged about ten, my Dad had to go and stand on a hill in Wales and talk to a bunch of very boring people who prattled on about how exciting it was, because the newspaper he worked for had given away free mylar specs to view it with (failed stunt, all the other papers gave them away too).

There was this massive build up, then it went dark for a couple of minutes, and then when the ghost of Dylan Thomas should have appeared, reciting in sepulchral voice “Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night,” everything went back to normal. And since then I’ve thought, “When you’ve see one eclipse, you’ve seen them all, they’re like Carnival parades really.”

selene - greek moon goddess
Not the eclipse but Greek moon goddess Selene (nice legs) who has an inalienable right to get between us and the Sun (image source)

See, the thing about natural phenomena is they’re just so natural. Brian Cock and Dara O’Boring are just people who live very sad lives but when you have more testicles than brain cells and its by no means certain either has a full set of testicles, I suppose soul destroyingly mundane can seem very very exciting.

Anyway there isn’t another here until 2090 (they’re happening around the world all the time) which is probably disappointing for scientists and other magical thinkers, who seem to think each one is a never before experienced event, but as I only plant to live to age 125 with a bit of luck I might peg out before the next.

Space Mining A Reality By 2016?

ET Phone Home – The Science Of Wasting Taxpayers’ Money
When one of the most famous and highly promoted science fanboys starts to question the official narrative about exploring distant galaxies, meeting exotic aliens (and inviting them all to come to earth and live on welfare in the western democracies) we have to wonder did he fail to win the prize for whackiest theory at this year’s Star Trek convention or something?We could be mining the moon for minerals by 2016 according to space mining researchers from around the world. These star trek geeks scientists are gathering at the Australian Centre for Space Engineering Science Research (ACSER) at the University of New South Wales (UNSW) in Sydney for the inaugural Off Earth Mining Forum.

The scientists are looking at developing machines that can harvest materials from lunar soil while being remotely controlled from earth.

Experts in space exploration, engineering, robotics, drilling and a space lawyer shared ideas about how existing technologies can be applied to develop remote-controlled mining in space.

Then when they’ve done that all they have to do is build a spaceship big enough to get a worthwhile payload off the moon’s surface and strong enough to cope with the stresses of re entry into Earth’s atmosphere.

These people really do not live on the same planet as us do they?

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ET Phone Home – The Science Of Wasting Taxpayers’ Money
When one of the most famous and highly promoted science fanboys starts to question the official narrative about exploring distant galaxies, meeting exotic aliens (and inviting them all to come to earth and live on welfare in the western democracies) we have to wonder did he fail to win the prize for whackiest theory at this year’s Star Trek convention or something?

Astronomers reveal fast FRBs have been discovered coming from the same mystery cosmic source

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Two thousand different sex couples in mass wedding in South Korea

South Korea’s Unification Church has held a mass wedding and holy blessing for 2,000 couples from 54 countries.

Over 20,000 followers of the so called Moonie cult gathered for the mass ceremony at a stadium in Gapyeong, near Seoul.

The founder of the church, Rev. Howlin Gat Moon, and his wife were there to bless the mass ceremony. They sprinkled holy water over selected couples and declared them married.

“The mass wedding leads all mankind to be one, removing the boundaries of ethnicities, religions and nationalities. Our goal is making the world peaceful with forming new families,” said Seuk Joon-ho, President of the Unification Church of Korea.

Fine worlds but we notice no same sex couples were involved.

A Boggart Blog reporter sent to cover the even spoke to one of the British couples involved, Wayne and Tracey Chavvington from Barking. They tod us they had treavelled to Korea to be wed because Rev. moon had warned British Moonies that weddings between people of different sexes were about to be made illegal.

An Irony Waiting To Happen

Yesterday we reported on a Japanese plan to built an elevator (or lift in proper English, to take passengers 60,000 miles into space.

Today we learn that Dickhead Branston’s flagship spaceship venture Virgin Galactic will be ready to commence test flights next year.

It would, would it not, be just perfect in a Titanicish way if the Japanese elevator to the stars (well partway to the moon,) while on its first journey to nowhere was involved in a collision with one of Branston’s spaceships which will not get into space but only about ten miles higher than you charter flight to Benidorm.

Two idiotic projects wiped out at a stroke and the myth of Daedalus and Icarus and the consequences of hubris reaffirmed.

It would take a monumental cock up of course but we live in hope.

Only Three Steps To Heaven … or you can take the lift

“There are only three steps to heaven”, the late, great Eddie Cochran used to sing in the days when I was nicking me dear old Dad’s Brylcreem and trying to comb my hair into a quiff (by the end of the day it had always reverted to the standard schoolby fringe)

In these increasingly idle times we don’t even need to take three steps to heaven, we can just ride in the lift.

Japanese construction company Obayashi wants to build an elevator to space and transport passengers to a station about a tenth the distance to the moon.

The elevator would use super-strong carbon nanotubes in its cables and could be ready as early as 2050, according to Tokyo-based Obayashi.

The cables would stretch some 60,000 miles, about a quarter the distance to the moon, and would be attached to Earth at a spaceport anchored to the ocean floor. The other end would dangle a counterweight in space.

The elevator would zip along at 125 mph, possibly powered by magnetic linear motors, but would take about a week to get to the station. It would carry up to 30 people.
Up above, the space station would have living quarters and lab facilities. Solar panels connected to the station would generate electricity that would be transmitted to the ground.

NASA has also investigated space elevators, awarding $900,000 in 2009 to LaserMotive for developing a laser-powered robotic climber. Aside from the tremendous hurdles for the technology involved. While space elevators could significantly reduce space-related costs compared with rocket launches, the infrastructure could cost tillions to build a report said.

Well that no doubt will have the space freaks cluthching their naughty bits and rocking to and fro in ecstacy but as usual with these ever-so-easy ideas to conquer the laws of nature people have not thought it through properly.

Who would ever want to spend a week in a lift with 29 other people? I have been in some very well appointed lifts, in the Empire State Building, No 1 Canada Square The Kaknäs Tower in Stockholm, and a few others but I don’t recall one with bedrooms, showers and a restaurant. And where would the toilet facilities go?

Would there be separate flushing loos, say one per 4 people, or would space trekkers all have to share the same bucket behind a curtain in the corner?

Forget about the scientists delusional notion of doing experiments in a space laboratory and unravelling the secrets of the universe, a week crammed into a lift with the odours of 30 peoples’ body functions, the protucts of wich are decomposing somewhere very near by would be enough to finish of Bear Grylls let alone a bunch of wussy scientists.

The space lift is one of those ideas that as a mathematical experiment might look fine on paper but as a real world business venture we can’t see it getting off the ground.

Read more: http://news.cnet.com/8301-17938_105-57383872-1/japan-plans-snail-paced-space-elevator-for-2050/#ixzz1nQWJQEYY

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Americans to land on Mars? O Bummer

I read President Obama has announced plans to secure his legacy reignite the American pioneeering spirit by approving a NASA project to put humans into orbit around Mars. The first manned expedition to another planet will send back photographs of the Red Planet but Obama hopes that will lead on to putting humans on the surface of Mars.

There has been a lot of gung – ho babble over the pond about what an enormous boost this will be for the American economy and how it will re-establish American scientific and technological supremacy.

So apart from a bit of balls out politics what would such a mission achieve. The kind of people who believe Star Wars is real like to talk of the great technological advances made from the moon landing project. They have difficulty naming any of course, apart from non stick frying pans (but wouldn’t you want your sausages to stick to the pan when frying in zero gravity?) which were not actually a spin off from the moon project.

All the lunar exploration programme really achieved was to send us some pictures of rocks and dust and then to bring back some rocks and dust.

Hardly inspiring is it, unless Obama thinks a free market in rocks and dust will take the place of the free market in toxic debts and the now aborted free market in carbon credits?

Exactly what the world need to deliver Obama’s promised hope and change, restore our enthusiasm for racking up more domestic debt and lift the global economy out of the doldrums, is rocks and dust from Mars. Or perhaps not…

I’m glad Britain will not be part of this project. If I fancy some rock I’ll dig out a few Black Sabbath records and I can see all the dust I ever want to by looking under my bed.

The Moon Landing and the Earth Landing

Yesterday was the 40th anniversary of the moon landing, humankind’s greatest achievement according to some, a cold war dick swinging exercise and colossal waste of money to others. And to a few die-hard conspiracy theorists a giant hoax filmed in a Hollywood studio.

I just mention the latter because it is bound to attract in a few days some members of The Church Of Scienceology cult to explain how silly, gullible and “unscientific” we are for believing such nonsense. Their comments are stupid but the slapdows are memorable.

As there is no suggestion anyone at Boggart Blog believes it such people only prove that (a) people who call themselves scientists can’t read and (b) neither can they get their heads around the scientific fact that Boggart Blog is a comedy blog which nobody with any sense would take seriously.

Having made that point we move on to address an important question. Given the Apollo 11 mission did land men on the moon and that those men were in transit a considerable time, what happened to the mission’s blue ice?

Our science expert Matt. E. Mattick has been investigating this and calculates that given the distance and low gravitational force in space, shallow trajectory and prolonged orbit the Apollo astronauts’ blue ice should be landing just about………………AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGH!

AND HRE FOR AFFICIONADOS is a completely new take on the hoax theory. I have never seen this one before today Moon Landings were real, what we saw on TV was faked by Stanley Kubrik

Birds Fall Ftom Sky – Conspiracy?