Filth – US Cops Live Up To The Name

America’s police departments have a dirty little secret. Sexual misconduct is the second highest of all complaints nationwide against police officers, representing 9.3 percent in 2010, according to a study by the Cato Institute’s National Police Misconduct Reporting Project. In 2010, 354 of the 618 complaints involved nonconsensual sexual acts, and over half of those involved where minors.

What’s happening to policing in the USA? Did that ego on a stick Obama hire Bruce Robertson (Character in ‘Filth’, movie and book by Irvine Welsh) as his law and order Czar?

Zombie Apocalypse: Are You Already A Zombie

shaun of the dead and friend flee from zombies
Shaun of the Dead with his best mate flee Zombie Apocalypse Picture Source

Have you been zombied yet. Film and TV shows like The Walking Dead and Shaun Of The Dead aren’t quite clear on how the process of Zombiefication works. Some say it is a virus, others suggest its contagion.

Another possibility is that some kind of brainwashing is involved. And the signs are you could easily have been zombied already. If you are one of those kewl, trendy types who has to have the latest gadget, must be an early adopter of any new technology, even before old cynics like me have had chance to warn you how invasive it is, if you can’t see any reason why a sane person would not want an RFID chip implanted in their skull to interface the brain with Google’s servers because it can only be to our benefit to have one of the greediest, most avaricious and most fascistic organisations ever, spoonfeeding you your every thought, you are over half way to being a zombie.

Really RFID tags are so passe darlings and Google Goggles, the eyewear that gets Google right in your face right around the clock can’t really be considered invasive compared to the shit that’s being planned now.

Infinitesimally small cameras contained in a pill will allow you to take high definition 3-D “selfies” of your insides; electronic tattoos that authenticate your body the way a password does, robot mosquitos to inject us all against the latests pandemics imagined up by Big Pharma in their constant quest for taxpayers money (Big Pharma are like Corporate Zombies, effing useless but always hungry) the future is turning out to be creepier Blade Runner said it would be.

The world is bad enough with vast swaths of disconnected, socially incompetent people wandering through it like techno zombies, ignoring the reality, only interacting with their gadgets.

When you dine out look around the restaurant, half the tables are filled with people who aren’t giving their companions half as much attention as they are giving their gadgets. Can’t they engage with humans or are they afraid that if they piss off their smart phone or tablet it might dump them.

Its the same in the theatre or at a gig., people aren’t watching and listening to the actual show while they are there: they are recording it on their smart phone or streaming it to their mates.

But all this tech addiction pales compared to what makers claim will happen when these sad nerds the new “Android Wear” smart watch that was just announced. Check out the commercial for yourself:

It is a gross misrepresentation of course. The first thing that happens when people become addicted to technology is they stop washing and so quickly start to look and smell like movie zombies. Which means you would not see clean, shiny people getting so close. Full Transhumanism is then just a few short steps away.

Android Wear is a hugely unstylish watch-like device that runs Google Now. The commercial shows people literally talking to their wrists all day as the little smart watch feeds them information about every thing they are doing as they go about their daily lives.

Wired is calling it “Google for your Body.”

Google Now is described by the controlling nerds as an electronic “smart” personal/social assistant that, according to the Wikipedia entry on it, “uses a natural language user interface to answer questions, make recommendations, and perform actions by delegating requests to a set of web services.

I can see someone like me getting so infuriated with it that withing two minutes it would be dust. Predictive text caused me to trash a cellphone one because it never once managed to correctly predict the word I wanted to enter next. And Amazon’s wonderful algorithm has never recommended a book I wanted to read although it has recommended many I had already read.

Technology my arse. OK, if you see any technozombies, you’ve seen Shaun Of The Dead, you know what to do to them. Along with answering user-initiated queries, Google Now passively delivers information to the user that it predicts they will want, based on their search habits.” You won’t just be interacting with the Internet anymore…it will be interacting with you. Preemptively. In real time.

Read more on the latest development in Transhumanism

UPDATE: Mad Scientists More Evil Than Genius

When we get down to the nitty gritty most of the technological developments described above are pretty crappy in reality, the technological takeover has always been more hype than substance and the cliche Mad Scientists, the evil genius behind them is more evil than genius. To get a perspective on how evil we only have to compare the much hyped philanthropy of Bill Gates, the public Kumbayaism of Steve Jobs and Apple, the contempt for users displayed by Facebook’s Mark Cocksuckerberg and the evil things being done by the “Don’t Be Evil” Corpoation Google.

A good place to start is by comparing their exhortations to be good citizens and all live together in peace and lurrrrrrrvvvvvvveeeee, with their own attitude and that of their corporations to the duties on citizenship. A good example of this can be found in their tax avoidance arrangements.

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And the Oscar goes to

It’s that weekend again when the MKultra factory that is Hollywood gathers it population of the talentless, the retarded, the cosmetically reconstructed and the generally useless so they can all congratulate each other on being “simply wonderful dahling.”

This year the name of the little statuettes could have been changed to the POScars as POS is the hands down winner of the TLA of the year award.

So which Piles Of Shit deserved to wing and which didn’t?

12 Years A Slave was predictable winner of best film because it is about black people being treated badly by white people. (There is only one thing the Hollywood glitterati are more addicted to that botox, fame, cocaine, prescription drugs and publicity and that is guilt. Pity the tossers are so shameless about passing of utter shite as art.) 12 Years A Slave is supposedly a true story. Well it’s true that the central character was a real person, a free black man who was kidnapped and sold into slavery. Less likely is that the aforementioned central character spen his twelve years of slavery being flogged, tortured and humiliated (along with his very attractive girlfriend) in order to provide the script for a soft porn, SMBD blackxploitation movie.The plantation owners were businessmen, they didn’t invest money in slaves for their mates to have fun, they wanted workers. It was often written by contemporary chroniclers that slaves were in some ways better off than the free poor. If you were free nobody cared if you starved, if someone had invested money in you, they were going to feed you.

The second most prestigious award,the POScar for best director when to a POS titled Gravity. This was the picture that most blatantly targeted the kind of geeks who watch Star trek thinking it is a fly on the wall documentary. Gravity is idiotic in every way, ’nuff said.

Disney Studios won the POScar for best animated film for a POS that is exactly like every other Disney animation, sentimental, mawkish, cutesy pie drivel.

Best Actor POScar went to Matthew McConaughey for playing the role of a man who helped HIV positive people buy illegal drugs legally. If these people were HIV positive you’d think there’s a good chance they would have had enough of illegal drugs. McConaughey’s acceptance speech however suggested he had personally tested the drugs his character was supplying.

There was one other award worth noting. The Oscar for best psychotic killer of the year went to some guy name Pistorius.

A hundred years ago some twat said ‘the lights are going out’

A hundred years ago some posh twat, I think it was Earl Grey* (the bloke who invented weak tea, gimme Ringtons teabags any time) said something about “One by one the lights are going out all over Europe.”

With the situation in Ukraine worsening by the minute, people are saying the same now. OK, let’s switch a few back on.

The web is full of “funniest scenes in film” which are usually dominated by clips from Monty Python and the holy Grail, The Life Of Brian, the farting scene from Mel Brook’s Blazing Saddles and that famous line delivered in The Italian Job by Michael Caine, something from Four Weddings or maybe the fake orgasm scene in When Harry Met Sally. There are plenty of other contenders but those spring to mind readily.

There is one that should feature strongly but is usually overlooked however. As it happens (or maybe to stop us all plunging into abyssal dspair) Channel 5 screened Beetlejuice today and as I watched it made me wonder how can we forget the scence where the ghosts in the haunted house hijack the pretentious yuppies dinner party and make the guests sing and dance The Banana Boat Song.

Forgotten it, or maybe you have never watched Beetlejuice. Enjoy it again – or maybe for the first time

The Banana Boat song from Beetlejuice:

*It was actually Sir Edward Grey, the British Foreign secretary but the deliberate error worked better for this item.

History Is Older Than They Are Telling Us

One Million Years BC was a really mooey Hollywood schlockfest that starred Raquel Welch (in designer window leathers) as the cavewoman who invented lipstick and eye shadow.

Although the film developed as “so bad it’s good” type cult following I never got into it myself. It was not the scenes of cavemen fighting dinosaurs that put me off, I have no scientific sensibilities about such nonsense. What I found unpalatable was that the cave men armed only with pointed sticks won.

Anyway I digress. Those who follow mainsteam anthropology “Weez aalz from Afrikaa” will claim the film is ridiculous because it depicts modern humans speaking English a million years ago. And everone knows the science is settled and human ancestors only got the ferry from Morocco to Gibraltar about a million years ago and did not reach England until about 400,000 years ago.

Well as usual the science, if not wrong, is questionable. A team of archaeologists searching for sings of civilisation in Norfolk have discovered what they are confident is the site of a one million year old human settlement buried beneath many layers of pizza boxes, discarded Indian takaways, roaches, McDonalds packages and supermarket own brand larger cans under the site now occupied by Manor Caravan Park in Happisburgh.

I wonder if the cavewomen who lived in the settlement looked anything like this:

raquelwelch lookalike cavewoman
Picture: Movie still, Raquel welch in One Million Years BC, movie still, Blogspot

Aliens Are REAL! Sci Fi Film Was A Documentary Says Star.

I love the Before It’s News Website More and More. Take this headline post today for example:

“Former wrestling superstar ‘Rowdy Roddy Piper’ has dropped a bombshell via Twitter, the movie ‘They Live’ was a documentary. “They Live” was a John Carpenter 1988 film that starred Piper as a drifter who fended off an alien invasion and according to recent ‘Rowdy Roddy’ tweets, the movie was not science fiction but actually a documentary. If you don’t remember, Rowdy Roddy’s character was armed with special sunglasses that allowed him to see the aliens walking among us, secretly controlling the media, banking and the government as shown in this first video and second video below. Does Rowdy Roddy know something that we don’t know and is this proof that aliens actually DO control most of our society?

Read full post with Rowdy Roddy Tweets and see a demo of his Alien Spotter sunglasses (which look like ordinary Ray Bans to me)HERE

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After The Goldrush In Rural France

Let’s see if Populis can manage not to lose my content this time …

Hippies and New Age tree shaggers have set up camps in the shadow of the 4,000ft summit of the Pic de Bugarach in south-western France.

The mountain which is honeycombed with caves, is thought to have inspired the Steven Spielberg movie Close Encounters Of The Third Kind and the classic novel Journey To The Centre Of The Earth.

The nutters believe that in a scenarion reminiscent of the Neil Young song After The Goldrush, on December 21st this year a spaceship will emerge from the bowels of the earth (I’ll rephrase that; emerge from the depths of the mountain,) and hover above their camp sucking them up in a tractor beam into the ship to be taken away from this dying planet or as the song has it, “carrying Mother Nature’s silver seed to a new home in the sun.” (full lyric)

One of the hippies who had quit his job and abandoned his family to join the throng on their journey into space told Boggart Blog:

” “There are serious things going on here, I want to be part of it. These things exist and people have the right to know.”

Another, who who declined to give a name was not fully convinced that the world will end on December 21 but said: “I do think the capitalist system is going to collapse then.”

Patrice Etienne, who runs an organic cafe (with a special line in mushroom soup?) in the village, is certain the mountain holds a major secret.

He said: “People walking on the mountain report that their cameras jammed when they tried to take pictures. They heard strange noises coming from underground.

“We have seen military aircraft, police and soldiers. It’s like a Spielberg movie. They are looking for something. There is something in this mountain, definitely.”

He spoke the truth: Police and troops have been drafted into the village and its environs and the mountain has been made a no-go area for five days from December 19.

Inspecteur Clouseau of the Deuxieme Bureau told our reporter, “Eet is seulment a precaution. Zere are beaucoup be nutters wandeuring around ze mountain, wheut eef one of zem should let euf a beumb to expeuse ze space sheep. We are respeunsible feur these imbeciles and European Euman Rights leur deus not allow us to shoot zem.”

But the end-of-the-world crowd say the ban on climbing the mountain is nothing to do with safety and the military is really there to investigate dozens of recent UFO sightings and make first contact with alien leaders and invite them to join the Bilderberg Group.

They claim the authorities actions prove the area is a hotbed of alien activity in the run-up to Doomsday — when the Mayan calendar’s 5,125-year cycle finishes.

Boggart Blog thinks these people are just a bunch of harmless fantasists but we have moved our office Chritmas party to from December 23 to 20th just in case.

Read full story

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Wonder Woman Goes Goth

The new look Wonder Woman (see below) is a bit of a contradiction. If the idea of replacing the star spangled panties, oh so 1950s scarlet bustier and the whole per playboy sexless glamour thing with something less overtly aimed at homonally charged adolescent boys who would find anything sexually alluring, the new Goth look just doesn’t hack it. Modern adolescent boys are no less hormonal but are more sophisticated than their 1950s counterparts and the little goth cutie on the right is going to directly target their fantasies.

To my experienced eye she looks much sexier. This might of course be something to do with my having dated a proto goth (or beatnik as we called them back then) for nearly a year back in 1969. I was 21 she was 34. Things like that make a big impression on a young man and I have certainly had a soft spot for goth girls since then.

If the new look has turned sterile sexless, starry-pantied Wonder Woman into a hottie vampire vixen with superpowers, what might a fashion makeover do for Superman?

For over 70 years the man of steel has unashamedly worn his red speedos over his blue tights as if to say, “I don’t care how ridiculous you think I look, I’m Superman and I can crush your skull between my thumb and forefinger so fuck right off.

For those who like to speculate about fashion trends we can’t see Superman switching to boxer shorts worn outside his trousers, that would just look naff. Nor do we recommend he wears those ridiculous knee length baggy shorts with the hanging crotch and low waistband that shows six inches of bum cleavage. Baggy, low waist shorts was a look favoured by my son and some of his friends for a while until us Dads, finding ourselves forced to be cruel to be kind had to take our boys for a pint and say “Look son I know you think silly trousers are kewel, like Niggaz With No Dress Sense or somebody but really showing arse cleavage is not the way to get laid, you just look a twunt.

No, Superman’s pants over trousers look must stay if only to remind us of the kind of chutzpah you’re going to need if called on to save the world.

As for the new Emo Wonder Woman, if she would like to come round to my house I promise her the multiple orgasms will not destroy her super powers.

Wonder Woman: Original versus New Look…

WWorig WWnew

More humour every day at Boggart Blog

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Brideshead recherché

A new movie version of Evelyn Waugh’s classic twentieth century novel later a 1980s television series Brideshead Revisited had its premiere this week. The story, set in England during the 1930s as the sun is setting on the British Empire and the sons of two aristocratic families think about going down on each other is a commentary on the breakdown of the old class system, the degeneracy of the privileged classes, intellectual ennui and the languor of idle youth against a background of a nation not yet recovered from one disastrous war but preparing for another. The plot focuses on the relationship of two undergraduates from Oxford University, Charles Ryder and Lord Sebastian Flyte, two young men at Waugh with themselves.

More humour every day from Boggart Blog