Stunning Explanation For America’s Unemployment Epidemic: Obesity

This man is a qualified Personal Fitness Adviser but no gym will employ him

Pundits agree that The Federal Exchange(The Fed), the US equivalent of The bank Of England, no longer has any idea what it is doing, or where it is steering the American economy, as exemplified by the Chairwoman’s response that she has little “confidence” in the Fed’s current set of forecasts (because one can be wrong only for so long about the economy before one indeed loses all confidence in one’s abilities to say sooth and thus be the economy’s soothsayer). Apart from being clueless about what is happening in the economy the Fed has no idea how or why unemployment – as massaged as it may be courtesy of tens of millions of Americans dropping out of the labor force – is as high and as structural as it is.

It appears however there is something far more structural with America’s long-term unemployment problem, something not even the “smartest academics in the Harvard Business School room” can diagnose. Surprisingly, earlier today Gallup Research reported one factor that may be contributing to America’s unemployment malaise – the same problem that is the reason for the insolvent US welfare state coffers: obesity.

According to Gallup, Americans who have been out of work for a year or more are much more likely to be obese than those unemployed for a shorter time. The obesity rate rises from 22.8% among those unemployed for two weeks or less to 32.7% among those unemployed for 52 weeks or more.

Well I guess when you are too fat to wipe, there’s no chance of you holding down a job as a shelf stacker, still less a burger flipper. And as for walking fifteen miles a day as an order picker for Amazon, the less said the better.

Another study on obesity risks shows scientists will say anything if you pay them enough.

If ever we need yet another excuse to close down the Universities and sent those who lurk within their precincts gorging themselves on research grants funded by us, a new study published by Dr Ravi Retnakaran, Toronto, provides it (BBC News – healthy and overweight is a myth).

He tells us fat people are 25 per cent more likely to die younger than thin people, even if they have no other health problems like high cholesterol or high blood pressure. The report’s conclusion? Doctors should always encourage patients to lose weight.

What, even if they are underweight to start with. That’s like saying everyone over 50 should be required by law to take cholesterol lowering drugs even if their cholesterol level is dangerously low.

It is surely a measure of the world’s insanity that such research is still attracting funding. But while hysterical leftie know alls claim it is a dangerous myth has emerged that there’s such a thing as healthy obesity, as long as your blood pressure, blood glucose and cholesterol are normal.

We learn from the press release however that the measure used by medical science to define obesity is the utterly discredited Body Mass Index (BMI) which is only a measure of weight to height ration and does not concern itself with trivialities like how much of the weight is lean muscle and how much is blubber.

So the “experts” using this method ignore their own observations as evidence which is a pity because when a pound of muscle is as big as a bar of soap while a pound of blubber is the size of a football, that visual evidence can be very useful.Use the pictures below to learn the difference between obese according to visual evidence and “clinically obese according to the Body Mass Index.)

When experts stop branding people obese because they are more that 50 grams over the weight at which they would be diagnosed anorexic we might be able to have a sensible discussion on this.

As things stand the “obesity” industry is just another part of the Big Pharma scam to make us all patients for life.

So the question that needs to be asked is “How much did Big Pharma pay Dr. Retnakaran for reaching the conclusion they wanted (I look forward to hearing from your lawyers Ravi, I’ve done my research and know who funded your project.) Science was ever fascism’s whore.

Top: Obese according to visual evidence. Bottom: Clinically obese according to the body Mass Index

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Who Ate All The Kebabs

The King of Saudi Arabia stepped in to save Khalid Mohsin Shaeri, 20, whose 96 stone (repeat Ninety Six Stone)1344 pounds after his obese bulk made him a prisoner in his bed for more than two years.

Part of Mr. Shaeri’s apartment block had to be demolished and a fork lift truck brought in to lift him from his second floor apartment to the street.

A military tank transporter helicopter was used to airlift him to hospital. The evacuation had been delayed six months because a special hospital bed had to be built in the USA.

Mr. Shaeri will now have surgery to remove his arse in accordance with Sharia law because he took to seats on the bus and only paid for one last time he went out.

Story

Connections

So there I was feeling all sorry for the couple who were asked to leave New Zealand because the man was too fat.

Aw, those poor people, all their dreams of a new life shattered because of some bureaucratic rule about the maximum weight for migrants. What a sad reflection on the modern world and the politically correct idiots who run it.

But I changed my mind when I saw this:

Family Finds Seven Foot KFC Bucket In Their Yard

Kill Obese Children To Save Their Lives says Doctor..

Obese children must be given gastric operations to save their lives’a leading obesity expert has said.

OBESE children under the age of 16 should be given extreme stomach surgery because it is the only way to save their lives, Professor David Haslam, of the National Obesity Forum, has said, calling for every child with a weight problem to be considered for a gastric bypass.

Well that’s all very well, but what about the kids who die under anesthetic, develop complications, get septacemia or simply explode and pain the walls pink when the scalpel pricks their skin.

Wouldn’t it be better to make the little shits get some work done.

Full story: Daily Express

At Last! A Scientist Admits The Science Is Wrong

Unfortunately it is not a climate scientists or one of those wankers who likes to tell us a few beers or a tasty meal are bad for us, but it’s a start.

A new way of calculating the notorious Body Mass Index (BMI) has been proposed – but does it really solve any of the BMI’s well-known problems?

BMI you may remember is the scientific measure of weight to height ratio that pronounced Arnold Schwartzenegger obese when he made Terminator and Mike Tyson obses when he was at his peak as World Heavyweight boxing Champion.

How often have we heard similar tales of the stupid prouncements made by doctors and health experts who put to much faith in ‘science’ (i.e, meaningless statistics) and ignore the evidence that is STARTING THEM IN THE FUCKING FACE! Like; Brad Pitt at the time of Fight Club, and England rugby player Jonny Wilkinson in his prime, were “overweight” – according to their BMI?

Any system that tells people whether they are “normal”, “underweight”, “overweight” or “obese” is bound to be controversial, but the obvious weakness of the BMI is that it doesn’t distinguish between fat and muscle, let alone between people with high or low muscle density or the numerous other variations that make us indichuffingviduals.

First devised by Adolphe Quetelet more than 150 years ago, BMI is calculated by taking your weight (in kilograms) and dividing it by your height squared (in metres).

Put simply, it is nothing more than a way to compare the weights of groups of people of different heights.

But mathematician Nick Trefethen, Professor of Numerical Analysis at Oxford University, thinks that the old formula is wrong, as he explained in a letter to the Economist newspaper published earlier this month. His letter to the Editor began,

Sir, The body-mass index that you (and the National Health Service) count on to assess obesity is a bizarre measure… As a consequence of this ill-founded definition, millions of short people think they are thinner than they are, and millions of tall people think they are fatter.

Actually he is wrong (but he’s a mathematician so we would expect no less. It has long been known that stocky, thick set, heavily muscled people are disadvantaged bt the flawed measure

Prof. Trefethen does however make a good point when he remarks that government pokenoses and medical ‘professionals’ have put too much trust in it in part because it looks so precise – like, say, Einstein’s famous equation E=MC² (which everyone knows is bollocks because multiplying mass by speed and getting the answer in energy is like multiplying apples by eggs and getting the answer in sardines).

Treftethen misses an opportunity to show a little sanity, he says “That’s an equation of physics and it’s really right. The BMI formula looks similar. It seems to have the same character but it doesn’t reflect a precise truth about our world, it’s an approximation to a very complicated reality,”.

With that in mind he has proposed a new formula: 1.3 x weight, divided by height to the power 2.5. Huh? That’s crazier than the old one.

Prof Trefethen Explains his formula

Healthy Active Girl Branded Obese by the Thought Police

The parents of a healthy and active seven-year-old girl have been left angered after health chiefs warned the child, who excels at gymnastics, was borderline obese. Libbie Boardman, was weighed and measured as part of a pilot scheme in Bolton, Greater Manchester. The schoolgirl, who is 4ft 2in tall and weighs 5st 5lb, was described as being at the top end of the overweight category bordering on clinically obese by statistics obsessed penpushers working for the NHS in Bolton.

Libbie has a body mass index (BMI) centile of 97. Between 91 and 97 is overweight, and 98 and above is clinically obese. She had her height and weight measured by NHS staff to calculate her BMI as part of a scheme to crackdown on childhood obesity by inventing excuses to take normal kids into care. There they will soon become withdrawn, undernourished waifs looking at the world through haunted eyes as they are subjected to regular abuse by specialist paedophiles who are recruited by councils to staff care homes.

Boggart Blog asked were the fascist nut jobs responsible for this program safe to be let out among school children. An NHS spokesman assured us they are all clinically sane.

read full story

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Council ‘put child, 5, into care for being obese’

A schoolchild aged five has become one of the youngest children in Britain to be taken into care for obesity reasons, it has emerged.

The child, little Rollo Lardarse who cannot be named for legal reasons, is believed to be a cousin of Cherryade Lardarse on whom Boggart Blog has previously reported. Young Rollo, whose anonymity we are will go to to great lengths to protect, reportedly had a body mass index of 22.6, which is considered clinically obese for one so young.

The boy’s father, Mr. Scoffit Lasrdarse, told our reporter, “It’s outrageous. The boy just has a healthy appetite. Loves his pizza and Mars Bar milk shakes he does.

Scoffit’s wife Mrs. Gutbucket lardarse added “Our Rollo don’t get out much coz the streets ain’t safe round here. Theres kids kicking balls about, riding bikes and skateboards an’ not lookin’ where they’re goin’ an there’s middle aged men walking up an’ down the street all day. Well we all know what they’re up to. Children ain’t safe.

So to make up to Rollo we give him a gallon bucket of his favourite pork scratchings and a family pack of Dorritos and sit him in front of his games console. He loves his games console he does.

Social services from Tameside council, Greater Manchester, decided that the child’s parents, who also cannot be identified, had failed to bring their children’s weight under control.

Mr. K. D. Fiddler, principal of the local care home, Dotheboys Hall, sounded a hopeful note. We have an outstanding record of knocking fat kinds into shape,” he told our reporter, “We did winders with Rollo’s big sister Cheryade when we had her in for a few months. A right little barrel she was when the Politically Correct SWAT team brought her in. Six months later she was like a matchstick and had that pinched, haunted look people find so attractive on little girls in Christmas cards. Oh yes, we catch them overeating in here we play hide the sausage with them.”

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Normal, Fat or Obese, we look at the Lardarse family
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Golden Calories

Polypills: The Arse dribble bandit rides again.

A new plan being mooted by government, the medical professions and those incurable altruists Big Pharma would see a polypill containing aspirin, calcium channel blockers and statins (the arse dribble drug) being given to everybody over 50. By force if necessary.

We’ve been here before:

The Misery Pill, Obesity, Depression and Arse Dribble
The certainty of arse dribble
Calorie Offsetting: Why get fat when you can pay a poor person to do it for you
Do Diet Pills Work? It’s the Arse Dribble, Stupid

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Polypill

Face It: Eating Shite Makes You Fat And Ill

There has been a lot of talk this week about how fat we (as a nation) are getting. The ambulance service say they are having to order vans with wider doos, reinforced beds and lifting gear (same as the kit on bin wagons we hope) to cope with the number of hugely huge gutbuckets (not a lot of sympathy here) who are getting sick.

Prisons say they are finding obese prisoners senteced to jail for stealing junk food are too big to fit into standard cells.

Bus companies are running at a loss because passengers demand a double seat for a single fare.

And riding schools are complaining that once they used to get young professionals who would take the mobile phone and filofax along to their riding lessons because they were trying to ride two horses with one arse but now two horses aren’t enough to support one arse.

We’re getting bigger.

Nudger Cameron has been asking his Big Society (no pun intended) (OK, I’m lying) why this is.

Boggart Blog can tell him without need for an expensives social survey. We are eating too much shite made from chemicals.

For the first time last night I saw an ad for a new food product that promises a quick, no fuss bacon and egg sarnie. Only it’s not is it? It might be no fuss but it’s also no bacon and no egg. Instead you get chemicals.

What you buy is slices of bread impregnated with bacon flavoured chemicals and egg flavoured chemicals. You take it out of the expensive and ecologiclly hostile packaging and pop it in the toaster. Two minutes later you have a bacon and egg flavoured slice of toasted chemicals.

What’s the betting it tastes as much like a bacon and egg sandwich as BBQ beef flavoured crisps taste like a char grilled filet steak. But you eat it because it does say on the packaging it’s tasty.

And the chemicals are addictive. So you eat another. And another. And some fish and chip flavoured crisps. And some jam roly poly with custard flavoured instant dessert.

And the chemicals are not only addictive, they are toxic and make you retain water. So you become a bloater. But still you want to eat more chemcals becauce they promise they will taste so good you forget about the metallic, monosodiumglutimaey aftertase that lingers for days.

And before you know it you are being carted off in a supersize ambulance to the “Too Fat To Wipe” ward at the local hospital where you are admitted through the goods entrance on a fork lift truck.

When I read articles in a certain type of newspaper predicting the end of civilisation as we know it I take them with a pinch of salt (natural sea salt of course) But I wonder if I should read them more seriously. If our humanity has been so degraded by the advertising industry we would rather eat chemicals than take the trouble to knock up a delicious bacon and egg sarnie we are well and truly fucked.

More humour every day at Boggart Blog