Woman who had three-hour orgasm leaves doctors mystified

An old story but one I copied a snip of to do my own spin on and then forgot. It happens when you’re the wrong side of 65.

Liz from Seattle (who didn’t reveal her last name) had had great sex with her partner Eric, but long after he climbed out of bed, Liz was hitting ever higher peaks of pleasure.

About an hour into her epic climax, Liz started to panic. By the second hour, the panting woman was rushed to hospital where medical staff thought she was in labor. Doctors said they were mystified.

Liz’s orgasm lasted for over three hours before she finally found relief.

Well doctors might have been mystified but the answer is obvious to me. Liz’s partner Eric is obviously a dozy plonker and in a classic case of an iatrogenic medical problem the medical staff were all too preoccupied with prescribing unnecessary and ineffective drugs to take out the Rampant Rabbit he had left behind.

So the poor girl has to endure a permanent climax until the batteries ran down.

Some People Are Never Satisfied….

Some people are never satisfied!

Take the case of the woman from Florida who claims she can have 50 orgasms a day.

She says it’s making her life a nightmare.

She has of course been diagnosed with that well known condition, Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder, and claims that she can get aroused riding in a car,(bet there are a few 60 year olds that remember that feeling fnahh fnahh) to listening to loud bass music. Obviously she avoids cycling, horse riding, rope climbing and sitting on the washing machine during the spin cycle and, interestingly, sexual contact.

She has now started a regime of exercise, meditation and medication to numb the affected areas.

Be careful what you wish for gal.

The Cornish Pasty Orgasm

This week we learned that the best female orgasms in Britain are enjoyed by women who live in Cornwall. Unfortunately our source was a little coy about revealing the criteria used to measure the quality of female orgasms and so we cannot throw any light on the question of how they are better in Cornwall. Intensity, endurance, frequency, ease of access to orgasmic state, your guess is as good as ours.
One possible reason put forward by a member of The Hark To Towler think tank was that labia majora, when viewed from a certain angle, look rather like the rim of a Cornish Pasty (a proper pasty mind you, not a tattie oggy which is different and dos not resemble labia majora from any angle.) Does this perhaps indicate that the pagan sacred feminine is powerful down in the peninsula?
It is also unfortunately that they are no convenient ways to circumvent the requirement of living in Cornwall. Hooking up with a Cornishman does not help, nor does having been born in Cornwall and if you are thinking of booking a short break holiday in the hope of achieving a satisfying climax, forget it. You have to live permanently in Cornwall.
Leaving aside unsubtantiated suggestions like the one above, the reasons for this phenomenon are truly a mystery: but we guess it might be something to do with all that Starry Gazy Pie.

F# Finds The G Spot

In my efforts to miss the BRITS extravaganza last night I found myself watching “Never Mind The Buzzcocks. The show is well past its sell by date but Bill Bailey is always good value. Anyway while watching I found out (courtesy of the BBC’s “you learn something every day” department, that if the musical note F sharp is played to a woman (or in this case to someone who used to be in Neighbours) she is likely to orgasm.
From this we may assume that every woman has an F-sharp spot. I guess it is half a tone below the G spot.
Its feasible of course, after all not many people know that women have an A spot* in their wedding tackle.
I feel a Michael Caine moment coming on; “Oi, did you know that birds ‘ave an A spot? There’s not a lot of people know that.
Anyway yes, the A spot. So guys, if your lady is complaining about her sex life being dull just titillate her G spot with your F sharp and her orgasm will be hitting A above top C
(Only someone who is married to a classical singer could crack that last joke!)

*the anterior fornix, an area with a high density of nerve endings on the front wall of the upper vagina. To all guys who can touch this spot without resorting to plastic devices, RESPECT!
And thus ends today’s biology lesson.