Who Do You Think You’re Kidding Tilly Bennet

British army to be replaced by ‘home defence force” if Greens win power in May

Outlining her party’s defence policy Natalie Bennett, the leader of the Greens, announced plans to do away with the Army and replace it with a Home Guard style defence force of geriatrics and arrested adolescents (Stupid girl!) Ms Bennett also said she wanted to take down immigration controls so that lots of people who have been trained in places like Syria, Iraq, Afghanistan and Nigeria to wreak havoc with AK47s and Improvised Explosive Device and bomb belts can come and live in Britain and help us deal with potential invasions from …. erm ….. people who wreaked havoc in Syria, Iraq, Afghanistan and Nigeria with AK47s and Improvised explosive devices.

Oh and our Dad’s Army defence force will be required to wear rope sandals, hug trees and nosh lots of lentils.

Dad’s Army

Boko Haram

You can vote Green if you like, but don’t say I didn’t warn you. They moreout of touch with reality than Labour or the Tories and more woolly – brained than The Lib Dems.

A New Anti Establishment Party With The best Name Yet

I see somebody has formed yet another new anti – establisment party to contest the general election on May 6 against Labour, Conservatives Lib Dems and the rest, with the intention of smashing the two party status quo, reclaiming sovereign rights from the Euronazi bureaucratic dictatorship and returning power to the democratic process. They are the

Free,
United,
Common,
Kingdom,
Energy,
Movement,
Allied,
Libertarian
Loony
party.

Sadly I don’t think they have a realistic chance of forming a government, but at least they have the best acronym.

UKIP’s Godfrey Gobshite Strikes Again

UKIP politician Godfrey Bloom has been disciplined after joking that a group of female activists were “sluts”.

MEP Bloom made the comments while addressing a “women in politics” event at UKIP’s annual conference.

Challenged afterwards, he said it had been a joke and the remark prompted laughter from some of those present.

But UKIP leader Nigel Farage said he believed disciplinary action should be taken, since the row had overshadowed his earlier conference speech and that as Bloom had a track record the party management had no alternative but to withdraw the whip from the MEP.

Asked how he felt about this Mr. Bloom said he didn’t give a flying fuck as he was sure his favourite slut had a couple of spares stashed away.

There Is Truly No Hope For Humanity

After being the toast of the town for the couple of weeks Ukip has slid from the moral high ground over its position on same sex marriage according to a blog I read today. The reason for this rather extreme view is the party’s treatment of Olly Neville, the former chair of the party’s Farage Youth Young Independence youth division who was sacked after saying David Cameron was right to support the cause of bearded queens who want to mince up the aisle in bridal gowns.

The first thing that struck me about this kerfufflette was the the though that young Olly is so slavishly devoted to the Guardian / BBC / Politically Correct dogma he never had any place in a party with the word Independence in it’s name.

The second, after I read a comment from someone who claims to “speak for young people” was that there is no hope for humanity. Here we go:

Nobody will remember that one day hears debate on gay marriage, as nobody remembers what you hear in 2005 … and if the EU back to the times of wealth, but many also will not want to leave her there and what UKIP will introduce us.?

The chances of UKIP achieve the same numbers of representatives in parlamente the Liberal Democratic Party in 2010, is virtually zero, the current electoral system.

If they want to be a big party, they should rather take into account the views of young people, because they are the ones who voted in the next election, gay marriage and leave the EU are subject that will have no relevance in the election of 2020, unless the EU never again be what it was before.

Erm … yes, well … right, OK, it’s an opinion. But I’m intrigued by these young people who voted in the next election. Are they friends of Doctor Who or something?

It’s Too Late! The Thought Police Are At The Door. Bad Taste Is Now A Crime

Thought crime is here to stay, and not just thought crime, but thoughtlessness crime, bad taste crime and wrong place at the wrong time crime. The Thought Police are on the march and soon they will control your minds. Their chief weapons are fear and surp … no, we will not do that. Thought Criminal Aidan Burley, a Conservative MP but since when was that, of itself, a crime, was sacked last week from his job as a parliamentary private secretary over “offensive and foolish” behaviour.

Mr. Burley did something the Thought Police decided some people might have been offended by had they known he’d done it which they didn’t until some creepy little snitch grassed him up and they Thought Police made sure a lot of people knew. Aidan attended a stag party where another person was dressed in a replica SS uniform. He did not wear an SS Uniform himself, he was not rubbing his crotch lasciviously against the thigh of the aforesaid wannabe SS officer, he was not leading by a chain a handcuffed girl dressed in second skin PVC and wearing a dog collar round her neck (if only).

The MP for Cannock Chase was papped and the picture published in the Mail on Sunday last week with a man dressed as a Nazi SS officer at a stag party in France.

(Can you imagine the scene in the Mail editorial office? “Ho ho, go that bastard Burley, little shit was cavorting with someone dressed as an SS Officer, he can wave goodbye to his career. Up yours, Milib … Hang on, Burley, he’s one of ours. Hold the front page! Too late, the papers are already on the streets.”

What does that mean to us? you might well ask. Well any of us who attend an event where someone else is dressed in “offensive” fancy dress is itself now “offensive and foolish”. Presumably we could be sacked from our jobs because clients / customers / colleagues mmight be offended by the fact that we were in a place where someone over whom be had no control behaved in a silly, frivolous and tasteless way, making fart noises perhaps or pretending to pick their nose and eat it while posing for a photograph.

How things have changed. In my day the only thing one could get sacked from a management job for was “Gross moral turpitude,” a catch all offence which covred everything from downloading goat porn to your computer to knobbing the junior staff. And ironically in some organisations while knobbing the junior staff was a sackable offence, not knobbing them would stall a career as it identified you as “not a team player.”

Now offending someone, or not offending anyone but doing something that might offend someone somewhere can get you sacked. no matter how trivial and inoffensive it might be. And how great a temptation too for those who would advance their interests by stabbing a rival in the back. Can you imagine the queue outside Human Resources just ahead of staff appaisals day.

“I was so hurt, he was wearing a red sweater and I’m a Chelsea fan.”

“He’s a Christian and he has grown a beard. That’s taking the piss out of Muslims.”

She has a picture of Justin Bieber on her desk,” (soory, should not have put that in, it really is offensive.)

“He was looking a Tracey’s tits a bit dirty, like.”

“She smacks her lips when she’s sucking mint imperials, it’s disgusting.”

Truly O my brothers and sisters the fifth horseman is at large; the great whore is riding the seven headed beast over everything that is sane and reasonable and the sound of the last trump is resonating around the world as civilisation is flushed down the politically correct toilet.

Nor do you even have to actually do anything offensive* yourself – you just need to be next to someone who behaving in a way that is lewd, ride or slightly “off colour”. There is no defence, if someone says they were offended or had their feelings hurt who an argue with that? Guilty of being guilty. And abject apologies don’t cut the mustard – only ritual self disembowellment will suffice by way of atonement.

We must stand up bothers and sisters and we must tell the dark forces of the new puritanism, the people who dream of a perfect world in which nobody is ever offended by anything to FUCK THE FUCKING FUCK RIGHT OFF. And then to show we mean it we should indulge in irresponsible, excessive behaviour and show poor tase and insensitivity in everything as often as possible.

*offensive can be whatever the self – righteous take a dislike to. So pretty much anything, really – including dressing up in silly costumes, wearing your wife’s skany knickers and even being a Conservative MP.

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It’s Too Late! The Thought Police Are At The Door. Bad Taste Is Now A Crime
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“Big Brother State”: FBI Says Citizens Should Have No Secrets That The Government Can’t Access
The surveillance state predicted in George Orwell’s novel “1984” has gradually crept up on us. With no sense of irony, the government of the nation that calls itself “The land of the free” has led the way in trying to persuade citizents that the only way they can be sasfe from vague and largely fictitious “existential threats to democracy” is to surrender civil rights and freedom to determine our own destiny …

Computer Cops Will Arrest You Before you Commit A Crime
Innocent until proved guilty has always been a basic principle of British and before the Union, English and Scottish justice. Since late in the ninth century when King Alfred signed into law the Liber Judicialis, the nearest thing England and Great britain has ever had to a written constitution or, until recently ever needed, the …

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Secret Meeting in London to “End Cash”

Economist Martin Armstrong claims there is a “secret meeting to end cash” set to take place in London before the end of the month involving representatives from the ECB and the Federal Reserve. Armstrong, who is known for successfully predicting the 1987 Black Monday crash as well as the 1998 Russian financial collapse, expressed his shock that no news outlet has reported on this upcoming conference.

Prepare For The Worst Case Scenario
An article on the cashless society our political and corporate overlords are pushing for proposes that as far as privacy and individual liberty are concerned, what is being planned right now in the political capitals and financial centres of the world is the worst case scenarion. An all digital financial system would mean the end of privacy, nothing you bought or traded would be your own business any more …

Fire Police Ambulance? All three, this burger is a crime against humanity.
A man who made a 911 call over an incorrect McDonald’s order found himself in jail after police arrested him for misusing emergency services Lorenzo Riggins ordered seven McDoubles, one McChicken burger and an order of fries from a fast food joint in East Albany, Georgia. When he returned to his car, a hungry Riggins …

Cashless Society: The Spy In Your Wallet
Back In 1971 Libertarians Were Predicting Debit Cards Would Become A Spy Tool For Authoritarian Governments. In 2013 The Wall Street Journal reported that the Naional Security Agency (NSA) was monitoring the card transactions of American citizens. Following that, two Senators, Wyden and Udall – who both sit on the Senate Intelligence Committee and thus have access to classified information about the government’s digital snooping intelligenece gathering programs wrote …,/p>

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By now it should be obvious that peacemaker, joybringer and putative aquatic pedestrian Barack Hussein Obama was never really in charge of the US Government. Whatever Obama said would happen, all the American government’s policies ensured the opposit would happen. The embedded article thows some light on how the US government really works

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France Moves to Make ‘Conspiracy Theories’ Illegal by Government Decree

Discord at the Lib Dem Conference

There are a lot of very pissed off Lib Dems at the party conference this week. Now OK we know a pissed off Lib Dem is about as menacing as a smelly fart but this topic is worth looking at because it tells us how out of the loop many Lib Dems are about the state of society and therefore how uncomfortable they are being in the governing coalition.

A lot of the pissedoffness around the conference halls is focused on the security vetting procedure. In the days when the party was part of the political fringe security vetting for delegates consisted of checking they were wearing sandals, a hand knitted sweater and horsehair undies. Not so now.

Chris White, from Hereford sounded a note of realism when he said the fact the party were in government meant things had changed, adding: “There are people out there who want to do us serious harm.” Well yeah, about 55 million of us at a guess.

Stephen Gilbert, MP for St Austell and Newquay, and a leading voice in the woolly brained vegan Nazi section of the party said: “Many people have experienced real concerns about the new process of accreditation.” He and his supporters felt the vetting system was particularly intrusive for transgender people, who would be asked to reveal their previous identities. Is it unreasnoable however to want to know that Fatima Houri used to be Omar Al Suicide Bombar?

Conference organisers acknowledged that the days had gone when security consisted of “fierce little old ladies with knitting needles, rather than special branch and MI5”.

With Labour Shadow Treasury Minister Chief Treasury Secretary Danny Alexander due to make a speech castigating the party’s Eurosceptics and claiming that if we do not stump up 999% of national revenue to bail out basket case nations it will stifle economic growth Boggart Blog feels it is only a matter of time until security at the Lib Dems conference is once again in the hands of fierce little old ladies with knitting needles.

American ‘liberals are the most stupid people in the world … #1

The chorus of Obama-felching liberal idiots in the USA is nothing if not predictable. It was never going to be very long before they started to blame this week’s riots in London and elswhere on “white racists” and claim the rioters are not theiving scumbags and violent thugs, but political protestors with a genuine gievance against the racist society that denies them a decent life.

One prominent voice, a sociology professor at Chicago University whose name I think is Prof. Waddac Hunt* went so far as to say that the riots occurred because Britain has been taken over by “Tea Party values”.

I can’t for the life of me see any connection. Why would anybody get angry about being invited to drink a cup of Earl Grey and eat scones with clotted cream and excellent jam made by members of the local W.I?

What else could he have meant, the knuckle draggers, arsehones, dickheads anf fuckwits we saw on televiion have never even heard of America let alone the politics of the “Tea Party.”

*Waddac Hunt: Hat tip to one of Sally Dwyer’s facebook friends. I don’t know if he came up with the name himself but it is brilliant.

Who Will Get The Droid Vote

Catching up on the final party leaders’ election debate because we were overwhemed yesterday with the response to our free “How To Be A Bigot” DIY guide. (OK I was at the garden centre getting stuff to repair the disaster of our garden after that effing winter)

So what did we make of the wannabe Prime Ministers in the final of Britain’s Got Talent(less twats)

How many of you for example thought the Conservatives David Cameron looked like Data from Star Trek, The Next Generation. And the similarities did not stop at looks … if you know what I mean.

Meanwhile the usually humourless Gordon Brown cracked the best joke of the campaign so far when he said, totally deadpan, “I am the only one who can keep the economy on track. Labour governments just don’t understand economics do they?

Liberal Democrat contender Nick Clegg’s rather lacklustre performance caused some raised eyebrows. Had he been paid to take a dive or, like British tennis players at Wimbledon was he weighed down by the burden of expectation?

Or was it poerhaps that Vince Cable had finally explained to him how fucked the economy really is?

More humour every day from Boggart Blog

MORE ON THE ELECTION AT:
Little Nicky Machiavelli
Election 2010 round up

Political Correctness Gone Military

Bored with the election? We are. In an election that is more Presidential than ever before with the cranks and nutters pushed aside as attention focuses on the party leaders we are being asked to get enthusiastic about three guys who between them have less charisma then leprosy.

So we look past politics to something else today and if we were the Daily Mail or Daily Express we would be running this story under a Political Correctness gone mad headline. If we were The Guardian on the other hand we would be screaming about a milestone in the advance of women’s rights. As it is we are Boggart Blog so we will lead with the banner headline:

WANT TO KNOW HOW FUCKING FUCKED EVERYTHING REALLY ARE?

Yes, officialdom has set a new world record in stupidity. Later today a tribunral will meet to decide how much compensation a young female soldier and single mother will get because she was discriminated against sexually and racially. Experts estimate the award could be in the region of £100,000 which is about What the people wounded in Afghanistan get for losing a leg. But hey, what’s a leg compared to somebody’s feelings.

tHE WOMAN’S complaint arose fromn her being dsciplined for not appearing on parade while on active service. Now in the army failing to turn up on parade is really serious, not quite as bad as bad as shooting your commanding office and of course nowhere near as bad as shooting an ememy who might be threatening to wipe out your entire platoon but who happens to have dark skin, but very very bad. It is all about instilling the discipline needed in combat situation where soldiers need to be totally committed members of the unit because everybody’s life depends on it.

Being on parade is about being where you should be when you should be there and ready to do your job.

Can you imagine out in Afghanistan a British officer (named Rupert or Jeremy – they all are) walking towards enemy lines carrying a flag of truce to ask the Taliban commander, “I say old chap, I know its a monstrous imposition but do you mind awfully delaying your attack for an hour, Lance Corporal Sillytits hasn’t finished bathing the baby.

More humour every day at Boggart Blog

Transvestite Cage Fighters In Kerfuffle

No guest blogger from the Conservative Party conference today. I drafted one but then our blog co-author Cleo Hart arrived home from her summer job in Majorca and everything got stood on its head.

So while I catch up with my daughter and her lurid travellers tales please amuse yourselves with the story of a bunch of thugs down in Walkes who attacked a couple of Transvetites only to find the trannies were a pair of cage fighters in drag on their way to a fancy dress party.

Now you might think it strange that a man in drag oon his way to a party would walk through the streets in high heels, evening dresses and full make up but I guess cage fighters don’t give a shit what suspicions the rest of us might have. 🙂

More humour every day at Boggart Blog