Solipsism: symptoms and and the cure.

Solipsism, if you are not familiar with the word, can be defined in two ways:

(i) the theory that the self can be aware of nothing but its own experiences and states

(ii) the theory that nothing exists or is real but the self.*

I don’t know where this belief or philosophy origniated but it was very popular with the more space-cadettish hippies I knew in the 1960’s and 70s.

Looking at a recent comment by fatsally on one of my posts I see solipsism has found its way into the school curriculum. “You can be whatever you want to be” is one of the motivational phrases used in education (see comment on Brown, a lust for glory). That solipsism should be offered to young people as a career choice is a tad disturbing as we have observed in television shows like The X Factor. In the auditions rounds a lot of seriously deluded people turn up who are sure a career in pop music awaits them simply because they “want it.”

Fortunately they have Simon Cowell to filter out those he does not think he can make money from.

Tony Blair is a solipsist, in his mind he is a revered world leader, an elder statesman looked up to by east and west alike. Bono is a solipsist, in his little bubble of self made reality the characters he creates actually give a fuck about what he says. Nick Clegg is a solipsist, he behaves as if he is leader of a political party.

Another case of solpsism is apparent in America where a novice politician decided he could be anything he wanted to be, even President. When people said, “You have no experience” or “You are not elegible under the consitution because your father was Kenyan,” this deluded man said:
“It is not those things, it is because I’se black you say I can’t be President.”

Not wanting to be thought racist the Amereican people let him be President and it quickly became clear that he thought the US economy ran on monopoly money.

Today it was announced the credit rating of the American government will be downgraded amid fears that they plan to pay their bills with monopoly money because they have no real money left.

Strangely, President Obama does not learn from his mistakes. In his mind the Standard & Poors rating agency does not exist or is run by mean spirited while folks who can’t stand to see a black man making such a great job of feeding the blind, healing the poor and leading the sick. And his mind is the only thing that truly exists.

Solipsism must be eradicated, it is an idea so dangerous it could wipe out intelligent thought. If Osama Bin Laden was a solipsist he would believe he is the third world war, if Damien Hirst was a solipsist he would belive he is an artist, if Robbie Williams was a solipsist he would believe he is Robbie Wiliams, if Lenny Henry was a solipsist he would believe he is still funny.

There are probably more solipsists in the world than people with Swine Flu. Still, while there is no effective cure for swine flu, only a vaccine that relieves manufacturers of the symptoms of the recession, there is a cure for solipsism.

If you come across somebody who displays the characteristic symptoms of the disease just hit them in the face with a shovel. That way they will not be able to deny the shovel exists.

Vaccine administerd by mosquito

*Excerpted from The Complete Reference Collection
Copyright © 1994, 1995, 1996, 1997 The Learning Company, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Afghanistan, Financial Crisis, Climate Change – Forget it, Katie Price has quit the jungle.

Big news today is nothing to do with any of the major crises happening around the world, not with a government in meltdowm or the most frightening story, the one about new EU Prez. Van Rumpy Pumpy pledging to steer the union towards a system of global governance, a world government. You will not find that one reported anywhere in mainstream media although it is the news item thinking people should want to know about.

No, the big news today is that Katie Price, the slapper formerly known as Jordan has quit – ahem – “reality” television show I’m a celebrity, give me some wonga.

The return of Katie Price to the show’s line up (she first ate Kangaroo testicles a few years ago so must have a taste for them) was a surprise that had been trailered for a month before the show started.

The public always hates a shameless publicity seeker and by the time Katie arrived at base camp and the votes for who gets to eat worms, grubs, bollocks, eyeballs and shit began it was obvious the punters were going to give the pneumatic one a hard time. They had ben wound up to do so.

Day after day she was elected (more democratically than the EU President it has to be said) to stick her head in buckets of eel slime, cavort with rats (and we’re not talking about Joe Bugner there) crawl through caverns of cockroaches, shimmy with snakes and get covered in shit until finally, right on cue which proves she had read the script even if she has never read any of her own books, Katie’s resolve was broken.

Official rumour has it that a leak from the production team forewarned her she would have to eat the festering carcass of a dead wombat in the next trial. Unofficial rumour has it that the deal was she suffered ritual humiliation in return for lots of camera time and a chance to show her vulnerable side and then feigned an emotional breakdown and walked out on full pay.

So what is Boggart Blog trying to tell you all here? That reality television has become even more cynical and manipulative since the premium phone lines scams were shut down?

We would not dream of such a thing.

If anybody is thinking of saying they can’t believe I watch such rubbis, I have not watched a single program. Five minutes on a web celebrity gossip ite give me all I need to know. I might slag off reality TV but I’ve never said Boggart Blog is not cynical and manipulative. One of my biggest successes at American site was an review of the book How To Talk About Books You Haven’t Read by Pierre Bayard which I reviewed without having read it.

How To Talk About Books You Hanve Not Read
Bread and Circuses and Reality TV