Labour, the (very rich, elitist) People’s party plans to ban your beer and pies

If Ed Miliband becomes Prime Minister in 2015 he plans to make him self even more unpopular than Tony Blair and Gordon Brown could ever achieve by implementing restrictions, tax hikes and outright bans on the sale and advertising of alcohol, junk food and tobacco, which are among the favourite things of Labour’s core voters.

hollands meat pie
Source: Wikimedia commons

Labour also plan to end the £300million sports sponsorship by drinks firms and impose minimum alcohol pricing to try cut down on the damaging effects of heavy drinking on people’s health so in another Public Relations faux pas, Red Ed is attacking the voters favourite pastimes as well. Talk about death wish politics.

Documents leaked to the Mail on Sunday, reveal proposals for new laws to limit the amount of sugar, fat and salt in food aimed at children, and a ban on advertising unhealthy products on TV before the 9pm watershed.

Drawn up by Andy Burnham (the Amazonian cockfish of British Politics) and shadow health secretary, the plans are alleged to have sparked a backlash within the party led by Chukka Ummna, tipped by some to succeed Miliband (sooner rather than later if Ed goes with this Nanny State bullshit). Supporters of Mr Umunna are worried the plans will appear ‘anti business and interventionist’, the Mail on Sunday reported. Obviously Ummna and his Blairite buddies are as out of touch as Miliband. They are more worried about the corporate profits of Coca Cola Corp, Kraft, Nestle and Macdonalds than the welfare of the people whose votes they take for granted.

Burnham’s nanny state plans may not help business but they are a direct attack on the working class lifestyle. And if there is one thing working class Labour voters will not tolerate it is being told how to live their lives by a bunch of effete, Oxbridge educated elitists.

So Labours big election winning strategy is to launch a direct attack on the lifestyles of their core voters. Smart move, let me give you an example of how this may work out: Wigan is known as the Land Of Pie Eaters; Wigan and the surrounding Lanshire constituencies vote solid Labour and love their pies, brands like Pooles, Rathbones, Oddies and Greenhalgh’s are famous and folk songs heve been writen about Hollands Meat Pies (video). Pies are classed as unhealthy food by cous cous loving metrosexual elitists like Andy Burnham (who is from Leigh, which makes his betrayal of Labour’s roots a hundred times worse.

Can anyone tell me how it is a winning strategy to attack the favourite food of voters in constituencies like Wigan, Makerfield, Leigh, St. Helens North and South, Bolton North East, South East and West, Chorley, Warrinton and Warrington North? In all there are 46 Labour seats in Lancashire, its unlikely all would be lost over a pie ban, but start attacking also the beer and ciggies that the working classes who vote Labour love equally and it will only take one picture of Nigel Farage, pint in one hand, pie in the other and a cigar in his mouth and enough of those seats could fall to UKIP to deny Labour an overall majority.

Repeat the story across Yorkshire, the North East and the East and West Midlands and Labour’s crackdown on drinking, smoking and unhealthy food could be a bigger disaster for the party than a “Yes” vote in the Scottish referendum. Again it shows that as Boggart Blog has always said the political elite are so out of touch with ordinary people they might as well be from a different planet. And most of them are, according to David Icke.

farage pint
UKIP will not prohibit your pleasures

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Horsemeat scanda: Government hiding behind EU

EU regulations stopped ministers reforming horse passport system, Downing Street has claimed.

The government is trying to blame complicated European Union regulations for horse meat in our processed food, saying the rules stopped Government reforms to horse passport laws designed to help prevent horse meat illegally entering the human food chain, Downing Street has claimed.

But how would new laws have stopped burgers getting into the country illegally? Or dead horses for that matter. Criminals i.e. people who deliberately do things illegally, do not obey laws, they break them. It’s in their job description FFS.

We have our own food scandal emerging in Accrington at the moment. Not as good as the dead mother-in-law in kebabs story but good enough for a mention.

Investigative reporters for the Accrington Observer claimed traces of meat have been found in Hollland’s meat and potato pies. A spokesman for the firm said the report was sensationalist rubbish as Hollands stopped putting meat in meat and potato pies when the brontosaurus mince demanded by the original recipe became too expensive.

Osborne’s War On Pies

A couple of days ago that always fair and objective commentator Little Nicky Machiavelli was conservative Chancellor George (Posh Boy) Osborne against a media and chatterati attack that claimed he had in his budget speech mugged pensioners by imposing a Granny tax. Little Nicky was, as always, right and anyone who falls for that tried old “Pity the poor pensioners” left wing trope will deserve all they get should they ever again elect a Labour government or, heaven forbid, a Lab – Lib – Dem coalition which would immediately impose a million per cent political correctness tax on every penny you earn and make heterosexual relationships illegal.

No, we should not attack Osborne for what he has not done but for what he deserves to be attacked for. Nor should we be afraid to slaughter the left’s sacred cows in doing so.

One evil little tax introduced in the budget went unreported went unreported by the effete metrosexual cohorts of mainstream media even though it amounts to a declaration of war by Posh Boy and his even posher coalition mates (Lord Snooty and His Pals) was the tax on pies and pasties that did not raise a murmur of dissent from either the government or opposition benches.

To be specific the new tax is levied on hot pies and pasties, the staple diet of northern people from the potteries to the Roman wall, in the rural west country, the industrial heartlands of the midlands and even among the not yet gentrified cockneys of East London. Pies and Pasties are the soul food of Britain.

Osborne is trying to starve the people of England into surrender. Lumping pies and pasties in the same class as caviare, smoked salmon and quails eggs or chicken in aspic is the same as putting VAT on bus fares. There is nothing luxurious about a Gregg’s pasty (pies from Pooles of Wigan, Rathbones of St Helens or Greenhalghs of Bolton may be a different matter but sssssh! We don’t want to be putting ideas in Posh Boy’s head)

VAT on hot pies wounds the memory of every brave Briton who fought to keep these islands free. To add insult to injury , there will be no tax on those vile, revolting little polystyrene pots of cold rice or cous cous with coloured bits. Cold soggy pasta masquerading as salad will not be hit. The “healthy options” sold in emporia of wussiness such as Marks and Spencer, Sainsbury’s and Waitrose, pathetic little portions of politically correct mush, are not under attack. So why the discrimination against good old British food?

Did the English archers at Azincourt or the brave men who went once more unto the breach at Harfleur eat cold pasta or cous cous? No, they took to the battlefield pies and pasties cunningly designed to fit in a tunic pocket. It was the same at Trafalgar and Waterloo. Fortified by their pies our lads overwhelmed the enemy. In the dark days of World Wars one and two the men who fought in the trenches or defied the might of Nazi Wehrmacht as Britain stood alone were encouraged to keep calm and carry on by the knowledge that the pie shops never closed.

Pies and pasties are synonymous with British independence. The Coalition and their Labour predecessors, agents both of the New World Order that would subsume of national identity under a should of multiculturalism as part of a homogenous global nation. They have already ruined our beer, our sausages, our Cheddar Cheese, and we did not speak out. Now they have come for our pies, what next? Our Yorkshire Pudding, Bath Buns, Dundee Cake?

This attack on our pies is just the latest battle in a long war. Can we prevail. We must, or this country we love shall be lost. but when we do defeat the multicultural foe

Then no Briton shall pass a pie shop by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we who fought shall be remembered-
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that eats his pie with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne’er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition;
And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs’d they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us here on Pasty day.
(apologies to Shakespeare)

Happy now Mike? 😀

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Don’t Eat All The Pies – You Could Be Chewing On A Nasty Surprise

Eating Puppy No Worse Than Eating Pork. So says posh boy chef Hugh Squirmly-Shittingstall. But would he eat human meat? And have you …………………… ???

Are you absolutely sure?

The River Cottage star has spent more than five months being a vegetarian for his latest series of the TV shows and has penned non-meat recipes for a new cookbook.

Fearnley-Whittingstall, 46, has eaten placenta pate, curried fruit bat, giraffe and calf testicles in the past.

Asked whether he would try loin of Labrador or cat liver, he told the Radio Times: ”Not unless I was on the point of starvation.

“In principle, but not in practice, I have no objection to a high-welfare organic puppy farm.”

“You can’t object, unless you also object to the farming of pigs. It’s an artificial construct of our society, a cultural decision, to make pets out of dogs and meat out of pigs.!

So would you eat a nice tender puppy (so long as nobody had wiped their arse on it of course.) You may recoil in horror from the idea but you could unknowingly have eaten worse.

Ever taste human flesh? If you answer “no” you might well be lying to yourself. If you eat in restaurants often or buy prepared meals how can you ever know what is really in them?

meatpie-400x300 A meat pie which is to the best of our knowledge, filled with bits of non human dead things – yummy :>

A chef in Russia is facing a hefty prison sentence after he was caught using minced human flesh in meat pies that he served up to unsuspecting customers. The man’s name is being withheld in case reatives of his pies victimes decide to put him in a curry as revenge, but it’s reported that he murdered his father-in-law before putting the old boy in the mincer to make filling for his famed mincemeat pies. Several people ate the Dear old Dad pies without even realising that they were committing cannibalism.

You think this only happens in lawless places like Russia and certain other remote islands and dark continents, not “civilised” places like Dagenham, Doncaster or North Dakota USA, think again.

Nathaniel Benjamin Levi Bar-Jonah(link to serial killer is for authenticity), who was born under the name David Paul Brown, was a cannibalistic amateur cook. Nathaniel allegedly kidnapped a young boy by the name of Zachary Ramsay from near his home, the small town of Royston Vaseyville in America’s mid west. He dismembered, minced, cooked and served the child to his neighbours as boy-burgers at a garden barbecue. People who ate the burgers said they tasted weird, to which Nathaniel replied that the meat was venison and not beef. It was also rumored Bar Jonah may have disposed of the remaining meat at a local restaurant, where he worked. The crime was not a one off and Brown/bar Jonah is now serving 130 years)

And not many years ago right here in Accrington, the owner of an Indian take away in Church Street (which I’m glad to say none of my familiy ever frequented) was convicted of murdering his Mother in Law. The body was never found but DNA traces matching the woman were identified in the bin that waste from the take away’s kitchen was dumped in.

So next time you hear anybody asking “Who ate all the pies,” just be glad it wasn’t you.

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Football Terraces and Pie Eating Techniques.

An item on the lunchtime news today concerned a meeting at Anfield, home of Liverpool Football Club about whether terraces for standing spectators should be brought back into the game as many supporters in the northern heatlands would prefer.

My wife, who will admit she does not understand football asked why anyone would want to stand when they could sit.

“It’s to do with eating your halftime pie,” I explained. “If you have a proper northern meat pie there will be a teaspoonful of meat juices inside the case. If you are standing while eating the pie these drip onto the floor but when spectators are seated the gravy ends up on your trousers.”

We assume the same prinicple will apply to the prawn sandwiches eaten by Manchester United’s corporate guests.

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Have A Drink And A Ciggy And Save The Country Some Money

If you are as sick as I am of special branch agents of Nanny States Politically CorrectThought Police wagging their fingers and telling you how much money your irresponsible self indulgence costs the country you’ll be please to hear they’re lying.

Get a few cans in or a bottle of wine, a packet of ciggies (preferable contraband because that realy pisses Nanny off) and order pies or burgers or a KFC Bucket o’Shite for supper.

Financially it’s OK to have a few drinks, enjoy a smoke and eat some tasty food. These things done to excess might be bad for you personally but that’s your business. Nanny has been lying about how much they cost the country.

In fact as this post from points out, The Adam Smith Institute smokers and people who drink and eat heartily are saving the country money

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Football Is Becoming A Game For Wimps or Who Banned All The Pies

News that a football stadium has gone vegetarian is never going to do the game’s already tarnshed image much good. We get the feeling there soon will be a day when grizzled old pundits will be more likely to remark, cor, nice arse about the Ref rather than his comely female assistant.

Football ued to be a man’s game,there was a kind of poetry involved in the play of Tom Finney, Johhny Haynes, George Best and the other greats but it was the poetry of beer and sweat and linement. Lines are being crossed all the time nowadays and I’m not talking just about offside rules and corner kicks. There are certain traditions in the game that simply should not be tampered with for fear of making the beautiful game into some metrosexual travesty.

Pies are one.

The buzz over the last couple of days has not been about shapely legs but lentils. The chairperson of Forest Green FC has banned red meat from his team’s stadium. Players are not allowed to eat red meat any more, not just on match days but ever. We guess a nice roast is out of the question for the Forest Green lads now too as is a bit of quail but for different reasons perhaps. And for spectators, meat pies and hot dogs are out. Vegetarian snacks will be provided at half time instead. I suppose they’ll be seving Camomile Tea instead of Bovril too and sales of lager and bitter in pubs near the ground will be overtaken by Chardonnay spritzers.

I think it’s time for Boggart Blog to come overall Daily Mail reader and predict, THIS IS THE END OF CIVILISATION AS WE KNOW IT.

Former MP and cat impersonator George Galloway latched on to this story last night. (I do not listen to wee Georgie’s show directly but the insomniac in Mrs. T. does like to relay radio chat to me on nights when she has had a few drinks) Even the most fervent Galloway hater would have felt a tad emotional when the Scot waxed lyrical telling how as a boy watching his local team, the long defunct Turd Lanark or somebody, his idea of heaven was to stand on the windswept terraces eating a meat pie and drinking a cup of hot Bovril at half time.

A bean burger or a lentil somosa is just never going to be the same. Football is about passion and pies and you can’t have one without the other.

I blame Manchester United’s prawn sandwiches for starting the rot.

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Fat Bloke Sits On Politically Correct Grinch, Saves Christmas

Coalition minister Eric Pickles declared the “war on Christmas” over, urging local authorities to stop avoiding the festival’s Christian basis.

“We should actively celebrate the Christian basis of Christmas, and not allow politically correct Grinches to marginalise Christianity and the importance of the birth of Christ,” Communities Secretary Eric Pickles said.

(The “Grinch” reference was to the Christmas-hating character from a children’s book by Dr. Seuss.)

“The war on Christmas is over, and the likes of Winterval, Winter Lights and Luminus deserve to be in the dustbin of history,” he added.

Quite right. Despite the economic hard times in Britain, local councils should not be cutting down on feelgood things like navitity tableaux, Christmas Trees outside the Town Hall, carol singing, light shows in the shopping streets and such because “they might offend Muslims, Hindus and pagans.”

Now we’ve never know a Muslim or Hindu be offended by Christmas, all they ask, quite reasonably, is we let them have their own festivals. And we don’t quite get the one about pagans as half the things that were banned by the Politically Correct Thought Police were pagan in origin.

Still Mr. Pickles deserves praise for standing against the march old multiculturalism. Having said that the case may be of course that porky Pickles was not worried about the loss of lights, carol singing and Christmas Trees as much as he feared the banning of another pagan tradition – mince pies.

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The Literary Lord Nosh

Many people have been asking what became of John (Two Jags) Prescott durning the election campaign and what will happen to him now he is no longer an MP.

Worry ye not, the man who put the pork in pork barrel politics is and Labour’s last link to its working class roots is, we hear, alive and well and waiting to be elevated to the House Of Lords.

Once installed Mr. Prescott will become the government’s special advisor on bad literary puns. And the title he will take…

lord-of-the-pies
Lord Of The Pies

If you get the oportunity to wrap your gnasher round a tasty pie like the one Prezza is enjoying, grab it. Already the Food Police have won a court battle to remove the flavour from Heinz Tomato Ketchup and now they are moving on to the bacon. It is only a matter of time until they come to take away our pies. Then They Came For The Bacon Sarnies

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Premiership Priorities

The football season is with us again and though in the face of a global recession players wages and transfer fees are more inflated than ever it is good to hear of one Premiership clubs whose followers have their priorities sorted out.

A survey has revealed that Blackburn Rovers supporters get more excited than the fans of any other team when watching a game. Bear in mind here we are comparing the excitement levels of supporter groups famed around the world for fanatics, devotees of Liverpool, Manchester United, Arsenal, West Ham and even Sunderland. These are supporters who if asked “is football a matter of life and death to you?” would reply, “No, it’s more important than that.”

So what is it about watching The Rovers at Ewood Park that gets their fans so worked up. Boggart Blog carried out our own investigation that found it is nothing to do with the action on the field of play. Blackburn Rovers fans only experience the raised pulse, rapid breathing and other symptoms of an adrenaline surge when they hear the PA system announce the half time pies are on sale.

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More humour every day at Boggart Blog