Upright Micturation: A Great Victory For Male Human Rights

The right to pee standing up will not easily be surrendered by European men. (Source)

Feminists may screech about equality in the workplace, the GayBLT community get they knickers in a twist about same sex marriage, Muslims claim the right to sell their daughters to the highest bidder, Labour supporters demand the right to be offended on behalf of people who are not themselves offended, Americans are very jealous of their right to have more rights than anyone else, but there is one right the men of northern Europe hold dear. And it has been under threat.

There are those on the left who would deny us the right to piss standing up. The politically correct busybodies have even gone to court in a big to deprive us of this right.

Fortunately common sense prevailed when a court in Dusseldorf, Germany ruled that it is permissible for men to urinate while standing.

The ruling came after a landlord in the sixth most populous city in Germany sought nearly $2,855 in damages to repair a bathroom floor. The landlord claimed the floor had “lost its sheen” by being regularly sprinkled with urine by a male tenant.

“Despite growing castration domestication of men in this matter, urinating while standing up is still common practice,” said Judge Stefan Hank, who added that damage to marble floors from urine is virtually unknown.

Laptops For Pensioners. New Dell Latitudes Smell Of Piss

Some unhappy purchasers of the Dell Latitude 6430u say that the laptop computer smells like cat piss, the BBC reported on Wednesday.

One user with the handle Three West posted on Dell’s hardware support forum:

A few weeks ago I got a new Latitude 6430u for work. The machine is great, but it smells as if it was assembled near a tomcat’s litter box. It is truly awful!

Another user, Hoteca, put in this contribution:

I thought for sure one of my cats had sprayed on my laptop, but there was something faulty with it so I had it replaced. The next one had the same exact issue. It’s embarrassing taking it to clients when your computer smells like a pet’s toilet.

dell cat piss latitudeSmell Dell has admitted the issue exists for some units. However, the company said that its investigation determined that the odor was not cat related but caused by a problem in the manufacturing process. In a press release the company said the pissue has now been resolved. A company spokesperson, Mr. Garfield (we wish) confirmed the smell was not biological in origin nor hazardous to health.

He added, “We are sorry to have pissed off some of our customers but these problems occur from time to time.”

That’s just taking the piss out of taxpayers

A drinking water reservoir that serves Portland, Oregon’s population of 500,000 was shut down and drained recently after a 21-year-old man was caught having a slash in it.

According to OregonLive.com, officials took the Mount Tabor reservoir offline and dumped its more than 7.8 million gallons of drinking water after officials observed the man relieving himself into its waters, an act that he could not deny as it was recorded by video surveillance cameras.

Though a pint of peepee among around 65 million pints of water is approaching homeopathic levels of dilution and therefore is hardly a threat to the city’s water supply, and with the reservoir being situated in open country surely worse things have found their way into the water, Portland Water Bureau Administrator David Shaff decided to drain the reservoir as a political move, hoping his prompt action will impress the voters.

As the action will cost taxpayers upwards of $400,000 to fully remediate it might turn out to be politically counterproductive. When asked about this strange decision, Shaff admitted that draining the reservoir has nothing to do with science but immediately conjured up images of people drinking pee so as to justify it.’

Don’t know what the fuss is about, Hindus and Buddhists drink their own piss as a diet supplement, preverts pay good money to drink other people’s and Africans have no choice but to drink water from very small pools that very large elephants have pissed in. And how many of us have at some time drunk a can of supermarket own brand lager?

A Generation Of Piss Heads

Gotta love those scientists, they just get whackier and whackier. And at the moment medical science leads the way.

A new scientific study claims that human urine can be converted into brain cells. And the surprising discovery, described in a report that isn’t titles Piss For Brains but should be may extend beyond practical applications, allowing researchers to circumvent the controversial debate over stem cell research.

The study, published online in Nature Methods and conducted by a team led by Chinese stem-cell biologist Duanqing Pei, found that cells generated from human waste might someday be used to study disease and even in therapeutic treatments for neurodegenerative diseases.

Plus, there’s a potential added bonus to the discovery: Embryonic stem cells possess a high risk of developing tumors, which reportedly would not be an issue with cells taken from the urine samples.

It’s a sobering thought that every time we go for a slash we are pissing a bit of our future away.

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