News that cuts to the defence budget could see the RAF’s active fighter pilots numbers reduced to their lowest level since World War 1 made me think that all this budget cutting might be a good thing. I mean why do we need a bunch or technocrat jetfuel heads screaming about in the skies above us, burning up a million poundsworth of oil per second. Who and what are they defending?
Nobody, that’s who. We don’t need defending because we are not a military power any more. The Russians are not going to bomb us, the French can’t be arsed and the Iranians can’t get their planes or their faces off the ground. I mean can you imagine Iran launching a long range airstrike on Britain but all the pilots turning back when they go to Italy because they had to get to the Mosque for evening prayers?
Defence spending is just balls out politics. Imagine Dave presenting our defence policy at a world leaders summit.
“Hey Valdi, look at my enormous weapon, I’ve got a much bigger weapon than you.
“Hey Huang, have you seen my chopper, it can fire a thousand shots a second
“Nico ma petit ami Francais, regardez mon sous – marin. Il est maginfique n’est ce pas? Je joue avec lui dans le bain.”
“Angela, Angie babe, look at my …… oh, sorry Frau Markel, you would probably rather not have seen that…
“Barack, get a look at … Barack, would you take you hands of my projectile please. Yes I know you are showing support for gay rights Barack, we all know you are passionate about gay rights, but I don’t need any gay rights thanks, Samantha suits me fine.”
You see, defence spending is just about showing off so why must we poor taxpayers fork out £2billion each for super dooper hi tech jet fighters, we beat the Luftwaffe with low tech British grit and bloody mindedness and a few Airfix kit Spitfires. Bloody Hell, Squadron Leader Biggles defended the Empire with a couple of Sopwith Camels, a revolver and a silly moustache. And British grit and a sense of fair play of course.
And didn’t Major Dennis Bloodnock defeat The Dreaded Batter Pudding Hurler of Bexhill on Sea armed only with cunning, cowardice, a plastic lettuce and a wax impression of Florence Nightingale’s teeth?
Did all America’s fabled high tech military hardware defeat a bunch of bearded ragheads in Afghanitan or a rag tag army of little yellow blokes on bicycles in Viet Nam? I think not.
High Tech weapons do not win wars. What we need to fight the dark forces that threaten our nation now are traditional British military values, an endless supply of hot, sweet tea, the courage (or dimwiitedness maybe) to be nonchalant in the face of danger, the Lambeth Walk and officers with silly moustaches.
Come back Biggles, all is forgiven.
Full story: http://uk.news.yahoo.com/4/20100807/tuk-budget-cuts-could-take-raf-back-to-1-dba1618.html