Government Introduces The Free Speech Police Rapid Response Unit

The British government, which has been signalling its intention to abolish free speech and press freedom since the last Labour government (1997 – 2010) tried to declare debate on climate change policy a criminal act, and has intensified its efforts under The Conservatives since the 2016 ‘Brexit’, has this week launched a new agency dedicated to suppressing “alternative news” websites and those publishing ‘off – message’ opinions …

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Government Introduces The Free Speech Police Rapid Response Unit

 

 

Where’s My Effing Owl

Harry Potter had one and so did everybody else at Hogwarts. Earlier today Ed Miliband and The Labour Party promised me one.

“George Osborne can only offer you more austerity, David Cameron has failed to get us a better deal in the EU, but Labour will give everybody an owl, the press release said.

Ed was onto something, Briton’s used to dream of owning a home of their own but now we have discovered the disadvantages of mortgage slavery we understand that it is far more important to the pursuit of happiness to have an owl of our own.

Unfortunately, having raised so many hopes it looks as if Labour will let us down again. Beore making such a rash promise they should have looked into the practicalities of sourcing sixty million owls.

labour owler

Impending Disaster That Is Not Ukraine Related

It has been par for the course throughout the 21st century and most of the 20th that the news you heard on broadcast media news or read about in the press is not the stuff that mattered. here’s a story that has been bubbling (oops, pardon!) for some time that dwarfs Ukraine, Syria, the economic crisis, climate change and even the imminent invasion by aliens that I keep reading about but can find no hard evidence of. It concerns the state of the supervolcano under Yellowstone Park in the north west USA.

from Intellihub:
In what may prove to be bad news for a one-thousand mile swath of the United States, the massive Yellowstone supervolcano may be on the brink of a massive explosion that would be categorized as an extinction level event (ELE).

In fact, recent reports suggest that ancient Helium4 gas has breached the surface layers of yellowstone’s crust,escaping into the atmosphere. Now couple that with the recent and abrupt ground level rise in the park–and we may be looking at a spell for disaster.

I mean after all, as Michio Kaku, famous theoretical physicist, pointed out on a Jan. 2011 CNN newscast, “When it blows [Yellowstone] it could destroy the United States as we know it. […] That’s what is making us nervous”

I don’t know about you but to me the thought of living in that region is horrifying, but what do I know, I live right near a massive volcano myself in Hawaii.

Later in the newscast the popular physicist points out how a 1000-mile ring of the U.S. would likely be destroyed if the supervolcano actually went. And as scary as that seems to some, we are actually quite overdue for the big one. In fact, the last Yellowstone eruption was thought to have happened around 630,000-years ago, meaning we are 30,000 overdue for a total explosion.

Kaku also pointed out that, “Every single burp, murmur, of this gigantic supervolcano, including the rise above sea level, has to be watched very carefully”.

Continue reading about the yellowstone supervolcano at Intellihub

I love the first comment in the thread on this story (the story is factual, comments are a different matter) which says that volcanic eruptions are caused by cosmic rays and we can prevent disaster by shielding the Yellowstone craters (what with, paper parasols?)

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Facebook as Important As The Printing Press? We Think Not.

Mark Zuckerberg, the man with the second most punchable face in the world (Smug, simpering Peter Tachell is first) is nothing if not a vainglorious, egomaniacal, fuckwitted, festering gobshite and a supperating syphilis sore on the bell end of humanity.

Announcing a plan to float the non porofit making idiots paradise website Facebook on international stock exchanges Zuckerberg compared the flotation (which will net him over $1billion) to the invention of the printing press in its importance to the future of humanity. The Printing press made books, Facebook has no product except the personal data it steals from its users. Boggart Blog comapres the flotation of Facebook to the invention of the Ponzi scheme.

Being a former I.T. pro with many years experience behind me and also an enthusiastic reader of printed matter all my life I know a bit about technology and printed matter. And I cannot see any way in which a printing press could be used to bombard me with trivia and advertising targeted to my personal tastes or to steal my personal data.

Is Zuckerberg just talking through his arse? you might well ask.

He could be but as the picture below shows, his face looks like an arse so it’s hard to tell.

Zuckerfucker
Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg, the second most punchable face in the world?

The other question you might well ask is, “Have the stock markets learned nothing from the dotcom crash.”

The answer to that is yes, they have learned that enough people are so besotted with technology they are stupid enough to invest their hard earned in pile of porcupine poo if it had has an internet connection and thus make fortunes for the bankers and brokers who handle the share sales.

There really is very little hope for western civilisation.

Historical footnote: Johannes Gutenberg, inventor of the moveable type printing press, made little money for himself but benefitted almost every human being who lived since is invention was launched, made it easy to share knowledge and made the great joy of reading available to the masses. Mark Zuckerberg made it possible to tell everyone in the world that you had a wank last night.

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Rooftop Sex Romp Student Suspended

Yes we’re in tabloid mode today. Well a story like this demands it.

A pair of students who a had a bonk on the roof of a university building ‘in front of hundreds of onlookers’ according to a press release, has been suspended from his fraternity. Things have obviously become a lot more tame on American University Campuses since the film Animal House documented life in a typical fraternity.

The University of Southern California authorities said the student could also face further disciplinary action. The university is investigating whether the actions of the male student ‘constituted a violation of university policies that prohibit unauthorised access to building roofs’

Is there nowhere young people can go for a bit of privacy that is not regulated by the health and safety police?

Pictures of the pair having sex on top of the university’s 12-storey School of Education in broad daylight were circulated on the internet and went viral.

Twelve stories high. Oh for fuck’s sake, it’s not as if anybody who did not own a private plane could have seen them properly. Were the crowd watching on Google Street View? And how come the press release said ‘in front of hundreds of onlokers’ when theiy were on a roof twelve floors up? Unless this was a stunt organised by the Universities physics dept. to publicise a new levitation ray they’ve invented.

Denzil Suite, USC Associate Vice President of Student Affairs, told the university’s Daily Trojan newspaper: “To say that we are disappointed in this type of behaviour does not begin to capture the seriousness with which we regard this type of activity.

The seriousness with which we regard this type of activity. For fuck’s sake again. When did student leaders get so prim and priggish.

I suppose this being politically correct paradise California the lad’s big mistake was having heterosexual sex.

If it has been a gay bonk then any disciplinary action would have violated his ‘rights’.

If this story had been in tomorrows papers we would not have believed it. In fact we don’t believe it. It’s another case of American mass hysteria.

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Credit Where It’s Due, Cameron Deserves A Pat On The Back

Now this blog, though we are often accused of being bitter and twisted little misanthropic boggarts has always believed in giving credit where it is due. We also believe pigs might one day fly and The Soup Dragon will take care of us all when the politicians have bankrupted the country.

It has also been said we have an anti – Labour bias. This is not true, Boggart Blog has always been eager to have a go at Lord Snooty And His Pals. The fact is Labour being the party in power are easier targts.

Today however we must give a well deserved pat on the back to Conservative Leader Dave (Mr. Shine) Cameron. Speaking at an election campaign press conference yesterday he revealed a hitherto unsuspected level of insight and perception.

“We have the momentum behind us,” he told his audience.

You certainly do Dave. Six months ago the Tories were polling around 45%, at the beginning of March it was down to about 38 – 40% and now they are registeing 32-33% in the polls. The momentum is truy behind you Dave and falling further back all the time.

Well spotted there Posh Boy.

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Fish Science Says They’re Smarter Than You Think.

At Boggart Blog we have often made fun of scientists, not always fairly I admit but if life was fair it would be intolerably boring. The aforementioned scientists unfortunately have only themselves to blame. Their penchant for running to the press with stories they just have not thought through properly provides us with comedy material so rich it cannot be ignored.

We also get the feeling a lot of this science is not much more than propaganda aimed at furthering the “one world” agenda of the “progressive left.” The intention is to produce societies comprised of people who all look alike, dress alike, behave alike, think alike, eat alike and would not have the imagination to ever question authority.

The New World Order or Big Brother as this agenda is affectionately known to the well read would like us all to be Vegans because all those cow farts are pumping the greenhouse gas methane into the atmosphere. Also we suspect they have caught on to the 19th century idea that meat in the diet makes people feisty, rebellious, independent of spirit and much more likely to question orders. Thus all week they are publishing reports describing the horrors inflicted on animals by the food production industry. Today it was the turn of fish.

We have previously reported on mouse science, projects aimed at showing mice, because they can be trained to earn snacks by pushing buttons with their noses are the equals in intelligence to humans. We have also reported on science involving cows, sheep, chickens, deer and crocodiles (which can be taught to speak we’re told) and ostriches. All these are as smart and at least as sentient as humans and should be grated equal right with humans, especially the right not to be eaten.

As not being on the menu is one of the rights we humans hold dear we wonder if anybody plans to tell the lions and crocodiles about our rights?

We must leave that fascinating question for another day and move on to fish science. In order to persuade us not to eat fish scientists working for the Politically Correct Thought Police are performing the mouse trick on our aquatic friends. One much acclaimed peer reviewed academic paper sets out to explode the myth that fish are stupid and only have a three second memory span by revealing these newly discovered scientific facts from a recent study:

Fish build complex nests.

Fish make decisions individually and form monogamous relationships, (honestly hony, it wasn’t what it looked like, I squirted my sperm over your eggs but the current got hold of it and carried it down to where that rainbow trout girl with the big fins laid hers,) hunt co – operatively and use tools (have you never seen a fish wielding an axe or turning a screwdriver?)

They recognise each other as individuals and keep track of who is to be trusted and who is not (yeah, I can believe that, I was walking by a stream near where a guy was fishing with a lure only last week when two trout popped their heads out of the water and one said to the other, “See that little metallic fucker with a line attached to his dorsal fin and a hook protruding from his belly. Don’t trust him, he’s working for the humans.)

Fish form complex social hierarchies and vie for social status. The also (and remember we are quoting from the peer reviewed scientific journal Fish and Fisheries here, even Boggart Blog could not make up stuff this insane,) use Machiavellian strategies of manipulation, punishment and reconciliation.

Fish have significant long term memories (so how come they keep swallowing the bait) and are skilled in passing on knowledge (so how come they don’t tell each other how to recognise the bait?) through social networks (no self respecting fish would be without a Plaicebook or My Scales page.)

Fish even have what the paper’s author calls “long standing cultural traditions”.

Unless you are terminally gullible all of this should tell you a lot more about the scientists who wrote the paper than it does about fish.

EU To Reform Disastrous Fisheries Policy?

That’s That Then

From the first week in January last year the papers were full of how it could be Andy Murray’s year to win his first Grand Slam tennis tournament. There were pictures of him barechested and roaring, flexing his muscles or doing what appeared to be his Incredible Hulk impersonation on front and backpages of broadsheet and tabloid alike accompanied by millions of words of speculation hope and drivel.
He made it to the fourth round, which isn’t terrific considering he was in the top 10 players in the world at that point.
The press’s Murray fan club immediately showed it’s disappointment in the usual opprobium reserved especially for Britain’s over-hyped and hence fallen sportsmen.

The Australian Open started 10 days ago. You could follow the results in the papers if you bothered to get past the football, the rugby, the cricket and the build up to the Winter Olympics.
And Andy has been progressing well, getting through his early matches without dropping a set.
Until today that is.
Because yeaterday Andy defeated Rafa Nadal to earn a semi-final place.
So what greets me this morning?
Andy Murray on the front pages of at least half the published papers in England along with captions featuring words such as marauding, mauls and storms.
So that’s that then. Murray to go out in straight sets to the 6ft 8in Croatian Cilic.

The New Guy Fawkes

Where are Catesby and his co – conspirators when we need them? Where is our gunpowder plot this bonfire night? Not that I’d want the buggers to blow up The Palace of Westminster, it is a wonderful building. If somebody would just put a rocket up the arses of our patetic, self serving politicians it would help lift the national mood.

Fortunately we have the new Guido Fawkes, the not very anonymous blogger whose Order-order blog has put details a few very big scandals into the public domain. Nice the see Guido getting a big write up in The Guardian (Guido knows the power of gossip) yesterday, even though he does not demur from being described as an extreme right winger. Now that the mainstream press, Guardian included, have abandoned honest, objective journalism in favour of partisan drivel in support of certain agendas Guido is a shining beacon and an inspiration for all us bloggers.

Little Nicky Sarkozy

This is nothing to do with our companion blog that goes by the name Little Nicky (Machiavelli) today we have to comment on the lengths French President Little Nicky Sarkozy has to go to in disguising the fact that he’s a shortarse. Somebody in the French pess corps has been blabbing that Little Nicky (4’6″) when standing in a photo line up has a habit of hoisting himself up on tiptoe just as the cameraman is about to click the shutter. This is particularly noticeable when Little Nicky is being photographed with Gordon brown (5’11”) and Barack Obama (6’1″ – not 6’3″ as his people claim) Little Nicky has also been outed as a wearer of personality lifts and has even stood on a box to be photographed with a group of tallish people.

All together now… “Aw, bless…”

More humour every day at Boggart Blog

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