At Boggart Blog we have often made fun of scientists, not always fairly I admit but if life was fair it would be intolerably boring. The aforementioned scientists unfortunately have only themselves to blame. Their penchant for running to the press with stories they just have not thought through properly provides us with comedy material so rich it cannot be ignored.
We also get the feeling a lot of this science is not much more than propaganda aimed at furthering the one world agenda of the progressive left. The intention is to produce societies comprised of people who all look alike, dress alike, behave alike, think alike, eat alike and would not have the imagination to ever question authority.
The New World Order or Big Brother as this agenda is affectionately known to the well read would like us all to be Vegans because all those cow farts are pumping the greenhouse gas methane into the atmosphere. Also we suspect they have caught on to the 19th century idea that meat in the diet makes people feisty, rebellious, independent of spirit and much more likely to question orders. Thus all week they are publishing reports describing the horrors inflicted on animals by the food production industry. Today it was the turn of fish.
We have previously reported on mouse science, projects aimed at showing mice, because they can be trained to earn snacks by pushing buttons with their noses are the equals in intelligence to humans. We have also reported on science involving cows, sheep, chickens, deer and crocodiles (which can be taught to speak were told) and ostriches. All these are as smart and at least as sentient as humans and should be grated equal right with humans, especially the right not to be eaten.
As not being on the menu is one of the rights we humans hold dear we wonder if anybody plans to tell the lions and crocodiles about our rights?
We must leave that fascinating question for another day and move on to fish science. In order to persuade us not to eat fish scientists working for the Politically Correct Thought Police are performing the mouse trick on our aquatic friends. One much acclaimed peer reviewed academic paper sets out to explode the myth that fish are stupid and only have a three second memory span by revealing these newly discovered scientific facts from a recent study:
Fish build complex nests.
Fish make decisions individually and form monogamous relationships, (honestly hony, it wasnt what it looked like, I squirted my sperm over your eggs but the current got hold of it and carried it down to where that rainbow trout girl with the big fins laid hers,) hunt co operatively and use tools (have you never seen a fish wielding an axe or turning a screwdriver?)
They recognise each other as individuals and keep track of who is to be trusted and who is not (yeah, I can believe that, I was walking by a stream near where a guy was fishing with a lure only last week when two trout popped their heads out of the water and one said to the other, See that little metallic fucker with a line attached to his dorsal fin and a hook protruding from his belly. Dont trust him, hes working for the humans.)
Fish form complex social hierarchies and vie for social status. The also (and remember we are quoting from the peer reviewed scientific journal Fish and Fisheries here, even Boggart Blog could not make up stuff this insane,) use Machiavellian strategies of manipulation, punishment and reconciliation.
Fish have significant long term memories (so how come they keep swallowing the bait) and are skilled in passing on knowledge (so how come they dont tell each other how to recognise the bait?) through social networks (no self respecting fish would be without a Plaicebook or My Scales page.)
Fish even have what the papers author calls long standing cultural traditions.
Unless you are terminally gullible all of this should tell you a lot more about the scientists who wrote the paper than it does about fish.
EU To Reform Disastrous Fisheries Policy?