Primary School Teacher Forced Out For Teaching It’s OK To Be Gay

from The Daily Telegraph

A gay assistant head teacher who wrote books challenging homophobia for primary school pupils has resigned after parents complained that they did not want their children “learning that it’s OK to be gay”.

Andrew Moffat was a target for protests at Chilwell Croft Academy in Birmingham from mainly Muslim parents. It is the latest in a series of controversies at secular schools in the city.

A dozen schools in Birmingham are currently under investigation by the Department for Education over allegations of financial mismanagement and Islamic extremism.

Mr Moffat resigned from Chilwell Croft Academy’s primary school in December and will leave his post later this month. He said some Christian parents had also complained.

His books, entitled Challenging Homophobia in Primary Schools, have been used in literacy lessons for 10- and 11-year-olds, including some of the 363 pupils at Chilwell Croft.

Continue reading:

I love it when multiculturalism bites these politically correct fools on the backside. Too many unrepresentative minorities that seem to have the ear of politicians in the main parties are guilty of demanding for only their opinions, and these are nothing more than opinions, to be taught to children.

When the politically correct ethos of the public services yields to such pressure it creates a dangerous precedent for other children to be taught only the opinions of their parents (i.e. that homosexuality is an abomination, that women “taken in adultery” should be stoned or beheaded and that women who go out in public without a male companion or with their hair uncovered must be flogged. To quote Lou Reed “You’re going to reap just what you sow,” and having spent years appeasing Muslim fundamentalists in the name of multiculturalism, the cohorts of political correctness are reaping.

Many parents have felt that Islam is a corrosive, backward, intolerant and violent set of beliefs, which has held back the development of Islamic countries and societies and that decisions such as the one taken by the London Borough of Harrow to serve only halal meat at school dinners (Halal in Harrow) are offensive, sanction cruel and inhumane methods of slaughter and are not compatible with British values .
On matters of opinion, an acknowledgement of different points of view should be made, on matters of fact…only the factual should be taught.

What we see here is an illustration that a hierarchy of victimhood exists in the bizarre world of left wing hypocrisy and cognitive dissonance. but we are beginners in Britain (and fortunately it is not too late for us to pull back from the edge of the abyss – vote UKIP). Take a look at the proceedings of the 15th annual national White Privilege Conference held last week at the in Madison Wisconsin to see how much more fucked society is in the USA. It appears that the self righteous wankers who pose as teachers and education managers over the pond think children spend 13 years going through school simply to be indoctrinated with politically correct, ideological shite about racism, homophobia, sexist, and equal rights.

teaching the sheeple
School for sheeple (source)

In a session titled “Stories from the front lines of education: Confessions of a white, high school English teacher” facilitated by Kim Radersma, a former high school English teacher in California and Colorado. Radersma who is currently working toward her Ph. D. in critical whiteness (WTF?) studies at Brock University in Ontario, Canada, argued that teachers must fight against the oppressive structure in education and society. She said anyone who is going into teaching and education must be a political figure.

“Teaching is a political act, and you can’t choose to be neutral. You are either a pawn used to perpetuate a system of oppression or you are fighting against it,” Radersma said during the session. “And if you think you are neutral, you are a pawn.”

She said educators need to challenge the system, otherwise they are giving in to white supremacy. Radersma also argued the first step is realizing that all white people are carrying the signs of oppression.

“Being a white person who does anti-racist work is like being an alcoholic. I will never be recovered by my alcoholism, to use the metaphor,” Radersma said. “I have to everyday wake up and acknowledge that I am so deeply imbedded with racist thoughts and notions and actions in my body that I have to choose everyday to do anti-racist work and think in an anti-racist way.”

For fuck’s sake, even Hitler’s Third Reich and Stalin’s Soviet Union weren’t that insane.

Modern Maths Teaching Is Making Children Mentally Ill

Common Core is the United States equivalent of the national curriculum, a progressive education policy designed to turn pupils in state schools into brainwashed retards. Sadly though some parts of the Common Core curriculum are more insane than others, the chief offender being that obsession of politicians and academics, the mathematics curriculum.

Now insanity and mathematics go hand in hand as any fule kno. Was there ever a maths teacher who was not stark raving bonkers? No, there wasn’t. You may occasionally come across a blogger who says, “but I had a great maths teacher who explained equations in a way that helped me make sense of life, the universe and everything.”

maths insaneA Common Core maths question (it’s genuine) designed to make pupils insane

You have not found someone who knew a sane maths teacher of course, you have merely found a blogger who was always more insane than maths teachers.

If you want to know how insane mathematics is and why it makes people insane, you need to read this:

Mathematics and reality

It proves that insane stuff makes erfect sense to mathematicians while reality confuses the crap out of them so much they just can’t cope.

here’s an example of the kind of insanity scholkids are being brainwashed with in the politicised progressive education systems run by the British and American governments.

from Natural News

If you look around America today, mathematical mental illness is found everywhere. It’s found in the federal budget, where numbers only mean what we are told they mean, not what they really mean. Mental illness is also found in medicine, where mentally ill victims of mercury in vaccines viciously attack parents who seek to protect their children from those very same vaccines. It’s also found in the new “Common Core” curriculum, spearheaded by the federal government, which seems intentionally designed to make children mentally ill and as confused as possible.

Case in point: See this homework assignment from an elementary school in New York. The “mathematics” exercise instructs children to “Draw the cubes you colored in the number bond” and then “Show the hidden partners on your fingers to an adult.”

The final instruction asks students to “Color the fingers you showed.”

You may have noticed this babble is but together by someone with severe learning difficulties, i.e. a maths teacher. To find out more about this insanity continue reading at Natural News

And here’s a chance to revisit our blog on an equally idiotic batch of insane technobabble generated by insane maths teachers: It’s Nineteen Eighty Effing Four In The Education System

Because I worked in computers people tend to assume I’m a whiz at maths. Actually, like many who were involved in business computing I’m crap at it, but this is due more to complete disinterest than lack of ability. To be good with computers you need to be good with logic which is not the same as being good at maths.

Creativity And Non Conformity Are Now Signs Of Mental Illness?
Maths teachers are dunces at everything else
Maths teachers are failing pupils – send for Ronald McDonald

Its Nineteen Eighty Effing Four In The Education System

Over in the USA or The Peoples Republic Of Obamaland to give it the new official title the government is trying to implement a new education system named Common Core that guarantees to strip children of their individual personalities and turn out identical konformists.

It is based on the same principle as the “No Child Left Behind” policy introduced by the National Socialist Party Of Great Britain (the party formerly known as Labour) which tried to impose a system that lined up all children from less than wealthy homes at the starting line and nailed their little feet to the floor.

Naturally parents across the pond are as up in arms as British Parents about the schools system being set up to turn bright kids into retards (because you can never turn retards into bright kids and everybody must be equal.

To make sure every child is equal except those of the wealthy elite whose parents can afford private education, Common Core sets six year olds questions that insane nerds like Brian Cox, Marcus du Sautoy or Dara O’Briain might be able to answer but that an intelligient person would immediately see does not make sense. Like:

“What is a “related subtraction sentence?”

If you don’t know, you may not be able to pass a mathematics exam designed for first graders under the Common Core curriculum guidelines.

The Daily Caller reports Carol Burris, an acclaimed New York high school principal who writes a blog about education issues, recently posted a first grade math test that one of her employee’s daughters had failed. The test–which caught the eye of The Washington Post’s Valerie Strauss–features several questions with awkward wording that could trip up adults, to say nothing of six-year-olds.

Students are instructed to “find the missing part.” Question 1 shows five coins above the phrase “part I know,” and a cup with a ‘6’ on it that is marked as “whole.”

Though the answer must logically be ‘1,’ the question isn’t clear at all, wrote Burris.

Not clear? It quite clearly does not make any kind of sense.

“My assistant principal for mathematics was not sure what the question was asking,” wrote Burris. “How could pennies be a part of a cup?”

Several questions give a number, and then depict a box cut in half with some number of dots on one side and the rest of them–or nothing–on the other side. The question related to the boxes changes after each problem, and one asks students to choose the true statement that represents the box–out of 4 possible answers.

The most difficult question, Number 12, shows 4 black squares connected to 3 white ones, and asks, “Which is a related subtraction sentence?” Each of the answers are addition problems.

“My nephew’s wife, who teaches Calculus, was stumped by that one,” wrote Burris. “Would (or should) a 6 year old understand the question…?”

Read more at The Daily Caller:

Though the entire curriculum seems unhealthily slanted towards subjects autistic savants excel in, abstract maths and theoretical physics, the language and humanities are pretty perverted as well. In the English course a lesson on possessive nouns contains Orwellian strictures on the relationship between the individual and government, such as “The commands of government officials must be obeyed by all,” and “An individual’s wants are less important than the nation’s well-being.”

That says it all really, The New World Order is real and the march towards global Naziism is turning into a sprint

Freedom is slavery
War is peace
Ignorance is strength.

Just for interest I looked up the phrase Subtraction sentence: From the thinkmath website, this is their definition: “This is a school term, sometimes used in teaching math. The word has no formal mathematical definition.”

Well I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again,everything in the world is run by insane egomaniacs. The semi autistic shits in the education system are making up this bollocks and branding six year old retards for not understanding it. I wonder how long it will be before we find Common Core contrains a remedial program called Aktion T4 under which backward children are sent to “special hospitals” and subjected to “experimental therapies” in an attempt to cure them. T4 was the social classifiation the Nazis gave to “useless eaters.”

The New World Order’s Pope
Modern Maths Teaching Is Making Pupils Mentally Ill

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Sandwich In Not Only Disgusting, It’s Racist

Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich is Racist, Says Portland School Official.

OK, I think we had all got the idea that American liberals are self hating idiots who when it comes to sopciopathic bullyin make Hitler’s Brownshirst look like jolly nice people. And the British equivalent are not far behind in the self righteous idiocy stakes.

But you know the End Of Day’s predicted in The Bible’s Book Of Revelations cannot be far off when these hypocritical twats are so desperate to be seen to love minorities they start branding the disgusting peanut butter anf jelly sandwich loved by generations of American kids as “racist.”

Yes, liberals in the U.S. Education system have so totally lost the fucking plot in their quest to be the most politically correct third world nation on earth, eating or even talking about a peanut butter and jelly sandwich can be considered racist?

Apparently, it’s because people in some cultures don’t eat sandwich bread. Verenice Gutierrez, principal of Harvey Scott K-8 School in Portland explained in and interview with the Portland Tribune:

“Take the peanut butter sandwich, a seemingly innocent example a teacher used in a lesson last school year,” the Tribune said.

“What about Somali or Hispanic students, who might not eat sandwiches?” Gutierrez asked. “Another way would be to say: ‘Americans eat peanut butter and jelly, do you have anything like that?’ Let them tell you. Maybe they eat torta. Or pita.”’ Huh? Does that stupid, ignorant, insensitive, racist bitch not know pita is Turkish?

Now you may think this is racist of me but I don’t eat sheeps’ eyeballs. The thought of eating a sheep’s eyeball disgusts me almost as much as the thought of eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. But if people want to eat sheeps’ eyeballs I don’t take it as a racist slur against my people and culture.

More Woe For Lib Dems As Clegg Speech Fails

We were drawn by this bedline because the story concerns Accrington where the Boggart Blog headquarters is situated.

Bearded Muslim pupils have right to show “full faith” says Nick Clegg.

When did the Lib Dem leader develop a lisp? Is it another sign that the stress is getting to him.

The story refers to the two 14-year-old Muslims who have been placed in “isolation” from the start of the new term at Mount Carmel Roman Catholic High School in Accrington, Lancashire.

Talks were held with the families of the two boys to resolve the problem but neither side backed down and the school has now decided the pupils can only return to school when they are clean-shaven.

The headteacher of the school, Xavier Bowers, said that the matter is not one of religion but about dress code.

In a statement issued yesterday, Mr. Bowers said: “At Mount Carmel RC High School, we believe that it’s important to be clear about what we expect from students in all aspects of school life, including appearance and uniform.”

And once these lads have scraped the bumfluff from their chins they can return to class and learn to say Hail Marys and confess their sins so they can go and commit some new ones.

Meanwhile, asked about his lisp Mr. Clegg said, “I don’t think a thpeeech impediment ith any cauthe for embarrathment in thith day and age.

A-s Level In Compo Seeking

Pupils have been handed hundreds of thousands of pounds for injuries sustained in classroom accidents, new figures show.

Parents at schools in Lancashire have been paid nearly £800,000 in the last few years after winning legal cases against the local council after their little darlings sustained serious injuries such as a grazed knee sustained while playing footy in the playground or bruised kuckles from beating teacher to a pulp.

The awards include £12,519 to a pupil who fell while climbing a tree on school grounds and another who won almost £50,000 after hurting his hand climbing a gate.

A Freedom of Information request revealed there were 100 successful claims over injuries sustained while on school property between 2006-07 and 2011-12.

Figures show a total of £783,831 was paid by Lancashire County Council in public liability payments to parents who have sued over trips, falls and similar incidents involving pupils.

The largest single injury payout was £100,000 for a pupil hurt when a cupboard fell off a wall.

Meanwhile we are please to learn that Philpottism is not confined to the north. In one of the worst cases of professional benefit scrounging and living off the state yet revealed we found a London family in which no member has held down a permanent, full time job in seven generations.

Click image to enlarge

Free School Dinners

Boggart Blog recoiled in horror on reading a news item about child poverty earlier this week. As part of the government’s plan to abolish child poverty by making everybody poor, in the future all state school pupils will be force fed school dinners. A Department of Education spokesperson said that forcing everybody to eat the same vile grey sloppy mess as prison inmates and hospital patients are given will help close the gap between rich and poor.

Our reporter, acting on parents fears that their childrens’ taste buds would be destroyed spoke to one of the likely victims of this policy, The Hon Jonty Lyttleton – Titt (aged eight) to lean how he and other posh kids will no longer be able to have their favourite Fortnum and Mason packed lunch hamper delivered in a Rolls Royce and served by a liveried footman. Instead they will have to eat the politically correct shite only fit for Guardian readers which has found it’s way onto school dinners menus courtesy of that fat tongued mockney posh boy Jamie Oliver.

Jonty told our reporter: “Obviously one is disappointed one will no longer be allowed one’s favourites like fois gras and roast suckling pig and will have to eat prole food. If the school want to abolish child poverty Daddy says it would be better to make proles eat the kind of stuff I like, cavair, chicken in aspic, smoked salmon, lobster pate and huge slices of cake with lashings of whipped cream. Daddy says that might give them the motivation to get off their arses and make a decent life for themselves.

Mummy (Jonty’s mother, Lib Dem MEP Femi-Nesta la Castrata) disagrees. She says the poor are genetically predisposed to choke on fine foods and we should concentrate on weaning them off pot noodles and take away pizza and teach them to eat tofu and cous cous and adopt a more ethical lifestyle.

Then Daddy said if Mr. Dave, the man with the shiny face give him a hundred toffs with shotguns and release ten thousand proles on our grouse moor and do the same for all other rich people he would soon solve poverty and unemployment .

That seems a little harsh to me but I am only eight and therefore not old enough to understand the socio – economic dynamics of post industrial society.

I do not know if I shall like prole food. Everyone says they eat something called Spotted Dick and Grandmama says it was spotted dick that made Grandpapa go raving mad and die. Which sounds like good fun because if I was mad I could run round with a big knife and shout “WUUUURRRRRGGGGGH I’m the mad serial killer, WUUUURRRRRGGGGGH” and scare the servants.

I should not wish to try Donor Kebab of course which proles eat all the time. It might be quite safe to eat but one would need to know that the donor came from a good familiy. If there was a chance it might have been one of Smelly Hatchett – Jobbs relatives I am sure I would throw up because they are all alcoholics and druggies, or victims of society who need our help as Mummy says.

I think school dinners should be left as they are, let rich people eat rich peoples’ food and poor people eat things they like because rich people are different. Mummy eats endives and sushi and Waldorf salad and she is slim and pretty. I do think she is a bit too thin because she gets hurt easily like when she has tennis lessons. One day at the country club Larsson the tennis coach was giving her one in the exercise room it made her scream terribly Oh God, Oh my God, Oh, Oooh.

If I had been bigger I would have run in and punched him right on the nose and said “that will teach you not to hurt my Mummy, you cad.”

But even if Mama is not very strong she always looks lovely in her evening gowns. The mummys of poor kids all have a fag in their mouth and spotty faces and a bottle of cider in their bag and they wear tight leggings that have a camel’s toe inside them and they wear halter tops and have a big roll of flab hanging out round the middle and goes blobber blobber blobber when they walk along.

I’m sure that is not classy but I bet they could rough up Larsson the tennis coach.

Perhaps I will eat proles food after all.

Health and Safety at School
Those Who Can’t Do Teach, Those Who Can’t Teach Join The Union
We Must Ban Teachers From Having Contact With Teachers
Teachers To Strike Over Pay And Pensions
If Your Kids Are Crap At School It Probably Means They Are Smarter Than Teachers
We Told You So, Education Is Overrated
The Dinner Plates Of Old England
Bulletproof Custard

More on the school football and other things banned by schools.

Head Teachers and deputy heads are Nazis. I have know this since my schooldays when I was often blamed and punished for things I did not do simply because I refused to conform.

Head teachers and deputy heads hate individuals who think for themselves. As Hyptatia of Alexandria said: “Always think for yourself. It is better to think and be wrong than not to think but try telling a head teacher that and you are in trouble.

To head teachers there is no difference between education and indoctrination and school is about their career rather than the futures of the young people whose brains are abused throughout their schoolyears.

So the news story of the school that bannede football because it occasionally gets a bit rough is following the rule rather than the exception to it.

Here, courtesy of Huffington Post, are some of the things politically correct school heads have banned and the stupid reasons threy gave for banning them.

Pokemon cards. Apparently kids swapping them encouraged gambling. I think the teachers just wanted to keep them.

Our school banned patent shoes in case they reflected our knickers & made the lorry drivers crash.
(Editor’s note: My wife’s school did that too – one of the joys of a convent education)

My school banned fountain pens for H~&S reasons and hugs because they were “inappropriate …

We were banned at primary school from running in the playground. Skipping was allowed though! (H&S reasons!!)

My primary school banned running in the playground, children kept falling over, how inconsiderate! # SERIOUSLY!

My grammar school banned petticoats. In summer we wore light summer dresses. Dirty old men must have rejoiced

@HuffPostUKUni Our primary school forbid us from having relationships (boyfriends-girlfriends)- love was too serious affecting school work!!

Well there we have it. Head teachers are all creepy neo – Nazi control freaks (just as all games teachers are sadistic paedophiles except for Miss Bolton who took the girls for gym and netball and was well fit) and should not in any circustances be allowed anywhere near children.

How Hopeless Pupils Can Pass Exams

A regular commentator, Nenesse1, left a response to yesterday’s post sayng (in French) that it will soon only be necessary to write one’s name on the paper to pass an exam.

I don’t know if my reply, in French, will impress Francophones but it impressed me 🙂

Clearly though the Frech education system is not yet as dumbed down as ours because here lazy pupils who know how to work the politically correct making system can assemble a pass mark though the various uplifts available. We posted on that a couple of years ago so let’s do a bit of recycling:

In my school days, admittedly more years ago than I care to remember, trying to justify the non – delivery of homework projects with the excuse “please Sir, the dog ate it,” was not exactly fresh and original but was still guaranteed to raise a ripple of laughter from classmates. Now of course it is a tired and lame excuse used as a last resort only by the terminally dull – witted. Family pets have advanced in status so much they can actually make a positive contribution to academic achievement.

Britain’s leading examination boards announced this week that results may be upgraded if it is known that the candidate has suffered an emotionally distressing experience in the run up to the exam. Qualifying experiences include death of a parent or sibling (5% upgrade) parent or sibling being diagnosed with a serious illness (5%) death of a distant relative (3%) a broken limb within 48 hours (3%) a broken limb on the mend (2%) – this throws a whole new light on the theatrical expression of encouragement “break a leg” – and so on, with the death of Fido or Pyssykins weighing in at 2% if it happens within 48 hours of the exam or 1% between to days and a week prior. Monty Python fans will be emotionally distressed to learn that the death of a parrot warrants nothing.

A spokesperson for one of the examination boards responding to criticism that the scheme is politically correct mollycoddling of the young said that the maximum upgrade had been set at 5% in order to discourage abuse of the system. As she does not say whether the upgrades will cumulative I fear the bureaucrats have once more underestimated the ingenuity of ordinary punters. Consider the possibilities in a literature examination…

QUESTION: In Shakespearean tragedy the downfall of the main character is often a result of a failure to address obvious flaws in his own character. Discuss this with particular reference to Hamlet and Macbeth.

ANSWER: Both Hamlet and Macbeth are… Oh GOD! WHAT IS THE POINT? Why should I sit this exam when with a bare bodkin I could my quietus make. Who cares about qualifications and careers. Life is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. Shakespeare’s tragedies? Are there not enough tragedies in the real world. To write or not to write that is the question, when all our yesterdays have lit the way of fools to dusty death.

Only yesterday my beloved Labrador Bonzo shuffled off this mortal coil when a car, driven by my uncle Jim, mowed him down. Jim did try to avoid Bonzo but lost control of the car and perished himself when he hit a wall.

I felt guilty about having let Bonzo off the leash and rushed to cradle the poor dogs noble head as he breathed his last. When the paramedics led me away I noticed my hands were covered in blood. “Will all Neptune’s great ocean was clean the blood from this my hand I cried out.
Just then my mobile phone rang. It was my mother calling from the hospital to tell me she had been diagnosed with terminal cancer and within six months would be heading for that unexplored country from in whose bourne no traveller returns.

In a perfect world I would be able to turn for comfort to my Dad, a virtuous man, but as it says in Hamlet, Act 2 Scene 2 “Virtue itself ‘scapes not calumnious strokes and Dad has been paralysed these three years.

I asked my sister, a Goth to let me have some of her downers, after all our little lives are ended with a sleep. “Each man is but a poor player who frets and struts his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more so help me exit pursued by a bear,” I entreated her.

“But in that sleep of death what dreams may come? Fuck off and buy you own drugs;” she quipped rather wittily in the circumstances just before falling downstairs and breaking her leg.

Then I heard a terrible sound coming from the kitchen and rushed in just in time to see poor Pussykins choke to death on a furball.

I tried to sleep last night, for after all, we are such stuff as dreams are made of, our little lives are rounded with a sleep.

But what will it avail me if I pass this examination. There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamed of in your philosophy Mr. Examination Marker.

And if you add it all up that should be worth a pass.

Cold Comfort – Frozen Pets The Latest Craze
“A levels are only for thickos” says Private School Headmaster

News From The Girls School

A rather unsurprising admission from The Department of Education, Science and Silly Walks informs us that in the secondary school phase of education, which children embark on around the same time as they sprout hairs in funny places and drown in unfamiliar hormones, girls do better in single sex schools. It has been known for many years that at this point in their academic lives girls forge ahead of boys in terms of achievement but it now turns out that relieved of the stress of fighting off spotty little chavs who are only interested in getting inside their knickers girls do even better.

One of the first triumphs of Politically Correct Fascism was the almost total abolition of single gender education in the state sector. It was bad for children to be segregated by gender, reinforced sexist attitudes and condemned women to spend their lives barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen claimed the strident feminists as if co-education was wisdom handed down from the high towers of academia carved on tablets of LSD. Sharing classrooms with girls would help boys overcome their macho, testosterone fuelled tendencies and get in touch with their feminine side. Girls were not allowed to skip metalwork classes while boys were forced to study cooking and sewing. The male allies of the combat suit clad feminists in advancing this agenda were pasty – faced, matchstick thin academics who had formulated their theories, tested them and knew beyond doubt such an approach would work. Education must be approached scientifically if pupils full potential was to be achieved.

The co-educational approach has not worked.

Far from flourishing in the non – sexist, non – racist egalitarian atmosphere of co-ed schools the kids took over. Adolescent boys, already distracted by obsessing about the size of their willies, trying to delude themselves and their mates that the crop of dark specks on their chin were whiskers and not blackheads and hoping mum did not discover their pyjama pants had developed the ability to stand up unaided, were suddenly confronted by the most delightful, fascinating, frightening thing in the world. Girls.

Adolescence is a desperate stage in human development, no less so perhaps for girls than boys but I can only speak from personal experience. Every fourteen year old boy thinks every other boy in his class except the obligatory nerd is cooler than himself. So all the boys try very hard to be cool and only succeed in being even bigger dorks than they imagine themselves to be. At that age boys are also fearful that they are freaks because they have more / less body hair, bigger / smaller nipples or more and much more toxic zits that anyone else. And if they squeeze the zits the wound will fester and flies will lay eggs in it and the maggots will eat their brains and if they don’t squeeze the pustules their head will become a giant carbuncle and if they masturbate they will go blind / stammer / get zits / drain the fluid from their spinal cord and lose the use of their legs. They also worry about their trainers not being as good as anyone else’s, whether they will be ostracised if their mates find out mum only buys Rola Cola instead of The Real Thing and whether they might be gay because a guy in a pink shirt smiled at them.

On top of all this, plus the constant stress of trying to avoid Pignose Dimmock the school bully, in a mixed school they have to worry about keeping their end up (oops, pardon) in front of the girls. The average fourteen year old has no idea how to go about getting inside a girls knickers and even less idea about what to do if he does get there. That aside, the boys secretly find the idea of “doing it” as frightening as it is desirable. Everybody knows at that age vaginas have teeth and a game of hide the sausage with the class slut could be the nightmare that ends his dreams.

For girls the process is no easier. Diverted from the girlish business of excelling in class and dreaming up fiendishly cruel, non – physical ways of humiliating each other by the constant attention of strutting, posing little boys with permarections and by pretending they are having love affairs with thirty – five year old billionaires and are thus too sophisticated to ever bother with the spotty little oiks who are constantly trying to help with their cookery classes by putting a bun in the oven for them, the girls fail academically, get pregnant, end up as single parents trying to bring up three or four kids, all different colours in a near derelict house with mildew coloured walls on a forlorn sing estate where the “green spaces” have more dog turds than blades of grass.

Of course girls do worse in mixed sex schools as do boys. The only people who benefit from politically correct education policies are the ever expanding army of bureaucrats who administer it all.

A Clockwork GCSE Exam Paper
Mr Bollocks In The Cookery Class
Masturbation Canidate

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