Red Wine The Elixir Of Youth?

Yes, that’s what the headline on a story in The Register said:

This is great news Boggart Blog readers. It means by staying pissed forever we can stay young forever. It is nothing to do with alcohol, although that is good for us if we don’t have too much (Hint: When you’re lying in the gutter choking on your own vomit, you should only have two or three more glasses and then stop – well apart from a few shots maybe) The anti ageing ingredient is resveratrol and it has long been suspected of being able to activate a class of proteins called sirtuins that have been observed to extend the lives of certain organisms.

Me. Mrs T, most of our friends and many other freethinking types who like a drink have also known about this for years of course. The French and Italians have known about it for centuries. Why has it taken those sad nerds in universities so long to accept the idea? Well, the scientists have known about it for ages (the science was settled one might say) but were getting paid more to peddle government lies about the dangers of alcohol in order to justify punitive taxes.

RELATED POSTS:
Minimum Alcohol Pricing: A Retreat To Common Sense On A Very Stupid Idea.

Denmarks’s Burqua Ban Is Related To Eugenics

What’s the second most politically correct nation in Europe after Sweeden? Most people might say Denmark but they would be wrong. The Danes might like to present their “Nice guys of the world” face to the international media but really they are into eugenics as a means of ethnic cleansing.

Yes, while the Danes are lecturing us on being clean and green and hugging Africans and showing they have not just the standard two faces of the politically correct brigade but more faces than the Hydra*, they are quietly practicing eugenics behind a veil of secrecy. And when we talk about a veil we do not mean the Niqab though more of that later.

Denmark has recemtly become the world capital of gingeism. OK, we have gingeism in Britain too but it is low leel stuff, not so much about hatred to people with red hair but about Chris Evans and Mick Hucknall being such a pair of twats. In Denmark however they are trying to cleanse the ginge gene from the population.

That’s right, men with red hair have been banned from making deposits in Danish sperm banks. Read more A spokesman for Denmarks largest sperm bank said, “Furdydurden-hurden-gurden. Shlurden purden furden gurden sperden,” which translates as, “We have too much jizz which is carrying the ginge gene in stock and there is no demand for it. So no wannabe donor with ginger hair will be accepted.

This does not ring true to our Scandinavian correspondent’s ear however. According to empirical observations there are very few ginges on the streets of Copenhagen and those thre are do not have the furtive air of habitul wankers.

According to reliable sources in the Danish parliament a proposed ban on the Niqab, Burqa and other religious headgear that conceals the face is linked to efforts to rid Denmark of ginges. The authorities fear men with red hair will try to escape compulsory sterilisation by posing as Muslim women.

*Hydra: a nine headed monster from Greek myth.

RELATED POSTS:
Are Feminists More Evil Than Nazis