Seeking Asylum (to the tune of Waltzing Matilda)

As the Home Office prepares tighter border controls for the borders agency to fail to implement in the event of the collapse of the European single currency (Euro) triggering a tidal wave of “political refugees” heading here when Greece goes bankrupt, to claim our overgenerous benefits find work, I thought we could learn from Australia’s refugee policy. So here’s a little ditty I knocked together a few years ago about how to deal with illegals. I hope nobody decides to tell me off for being politically incorrect. People ought to know by now I don’t ever respond well to being told what I should think.

SEEKING ASYLUM

Once a Aussie coastguard patrolled Queenslan Beach
Came upon an A-rab lying by the sea.
And he sang as he dragged that person up to higher ground
“You’ve come a – seeking Asylum with me”

CHORUS
Seeking asylum, seeking asylum
You’ve come a seeking asylum with me
You’re not a refugee, you a bloody terrorist,
Don’t come a – seeking asylum with me

“Please” said the fellahin, “give me a little water,
I’m just a kurd who came here to be free.”
“Kurdish my arshole, you’re one of Osama’s boys,
Don’t come a – seeking asylum with me.”

CHORUS

Seeking asylum, seeking asylum
You’ve come a seeking asylum with me
You’re not a refugee, you’re a bloody terrorist,
Don’t come a – seeking asylum with me

Up jumped the Arab, tried to make a run for it.
If he reached the outback, there he would be free.
A passing Aborigine felled him with a boomerang,
“Don’t come a – seeking asylum with me

CHORUS

Seeking asylum, seeking asylum
You’ve come a seeking asylum with me
You’re not a refugee, you’re a bloody terrorist,
Don’t come a seeking asylum with me

Along came the coastguard, cuffed the little arab man,
aleft him tied to and coolibah tree,
saying “I’ll be back soon, bringing reinforcements,
Don’t come a seeking asylum with me.”

CHORUS

Seeking asylum, seeking asylum
You’ve come a seeking asylum with me
You’re not a refugee, you’re a bloody terrorist,
Don’t come a seeking asylum with me

Off went the coastguard, returning in a humvee,
with him rode troopers, one, two, three.
They shot down the refugee, said he was a terrorist,
Don’t come a – seeking asylum with me.

CHORUS

Seeking asylum, seeking asylum
You’ve come a seeking asylum with me
You’re not a refugee, you’re a bloody terrorist,
Don’t come a seeking a – sy – lum – with – me

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