Pension Liberation Day – Time For A New Toy

Easter Monday, it’s a holiday in most of the world so there isn’t much going on. Big thing is it’s pension liberation day, us poor saps who were duped into saving for our retirement is schemes that made sure we couldn’t get our hands on the money and when we popped our clogs the thieving insurance companies kept our cash (and of course they never told us about SIPP schemes, oh no, us the well off people kept that one to themselves.

One thing the coalition government do deserve a pat on the head for is liberating our pensions so we can at least afford a few decent toys to ease our retirement.

As today was pension liberation day, I thought I’d show you the wise and prudent investment I am putting my retirement money into.

Wha – heeeeeeyyyyyyy.

E Type Jaguar

More Deadly Than Smoking

Hat tip to Anna Raccoon blog where I found this gem:

What do you think could be more deadly to the elderly than smoking? The hydrogen bomb? Cyanide? Chavs? Thirteen years of Labour government? Ten years of Conservative government?

Surprise. it’s none of the above.

The real killer, deadlier than smoking, alcohol or lard sandwiches to old people is enjoying a peaceful retirement. Titter ye not, government health experts deadly (oops, pardon) serious. They are forming government policy round this notion as we speak.

Evidence is now emerging of the dangers associated with elderly people becoming lonely and isolated after retiring. David Halpern, a senior No.10 aide, said loneliness was a “more powerful predictor” of whether a pensioner would be alive for more than a decade than whether they smoked.

It seems that living in the house that you paid for, happily bereft of a partner with, spared the nightly ritual of agreeing that of course you don’t mind watching Eastenders / Football, eating what you want, watching what you want, getting up when you want, going to bed when you want – is a deadly danger, you are liable to drop dead at any moment.

Does smoking cause lung cancer? No, is the legal verdict.

Blair and Pensions

Don’t you just love Tony Blair. The latest whacky and zany scheme from the fun loving fascist is to change the pension arrangements so that we can all work ’til we are a hundred and three and save money throuh a compulary savings scheme so we can pay the government for having lived lives dedicated to making mortgage providers and privatised public services companies wealthy.
Actually I have come up with an alternative to the government’s pension reform plan. Everyone will retitre at 45, get loads of money subsidised travel, free health care and a Chritmas dinner in a restaurant of their choice. “And how are we going to pay for that”, the politicians ask. Simple, we just stop mega corporations mopping up all their UK operating profits with consultancy charges and management fees from their Cayman Islands dummy corporations and e thy proper share of the tax burden.
Now why has no government ever thought of that?