Stupid Criminal Of The Week: Bikini Robbers

It should have been the sexiest heist ever. Instead, a bikini robbery worth $200,000 turned into a farce.

At about 5:30am Sunday morning, police in Tustin, a suburb of Los Angeles noticed a suspicious white van outside a warehouse and saw that the warehouse fence had been cut open.

Eight hoodlums in their mid-20s and 30s had cut gaping holes in the warehouse front doors and threw as many designer label bikinis as they could into plasyic bin bags.

Two of the gand had stayed outside as lookouts in a separate vehicle but they fell asleep and did not notice police squad cars arriving with sirens off.

After noticing the police presence the robbers dumped the loot, jumped back in the van and took off on the 405 freeway. When the police gave chase the robbers reportedly jumped out of the moving vehicle and ran off on foot in an attempt to escape. Against a highly tuned police car on an interstate freeway even Usian Bolt would not have stood a chance.

Not surprisingly, the six dicks were all arrested and hauled back to where the sleepyhead lookouts were waiting, already cuffed.

A lawyer acting for the gang said they were not very experienced at robbery and the theft had been the idea of the gang’s two female members, Guillermina Ventura-Moran, (33) and Norma Yaneli Sanchez, (26). The crime had been planned while all the gang members were attending a pool party the previous night.

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Where’s Wally? Cooee I’m Over Here!

Our Stupid Criminal Of The Week award this week goes to Ryan Homsley of Oregon,who likes to carry our his robberies dressed as the cartoon character Waldo, from the Where’s Waldo cartoon.
In the UK we call this cartoon Where’s Wally.
The eponymous hero wears over large glasses and a stripy top and the object of the exercise is to try and find him on the page covered in a very busy drawing.
It can keep small children amused for hours, and that’s only working out how to turn over the pages.

Anyway Rory was arrested by the FBI in connection with a series of robberies when he posted a bank surveillance photo of himself as his profile picture on his Facebook page. along with the announcement, “I am now a bank robber.”

A piece of advice to all would be criminals out there.

Some things are best kept to yourself.

Facebook as important as the printing press? We think not.

Piss Poor Planning

The Piss Poor Planning award is sort of an offshoot of the Stupid Criminal of the Week Award.
Nothing in this story suggests that the criminals were stupid, but they certainly didn’t think things through.

Perhaps it started whilst the thief and his mate were watching The Italian Job. Those little Minis, nipping through the narrow congested streets, going down steps, across weirs, driving on the pavement.
What an excellent getaway!
But wouldn’t a motorbike be better? Even more agile and manouevreable? Zip through the traffic, short cut through alleys, wrong way up the one way street.
Got to be the getaway vehicle of choice. If you can ride one of course.

Which seems to be the first thing our would be Charlie Crokers didn’t think about.
When one of the thieves stalled his bike he couldn’t get it started again.
As he was outside a poice station at the time I suppose he could have asked for help, but the police were more interested in arresting him.

Meanwhile his accomplice on the raid in Petrich, Bulgaria, had strapped his bulging swag bag onto his bike.
Unfortunately this made the bike wobble and the robber fell off, at which point he was arrested.

So nice idea boys, but next time, think the thing through.

Stupid Criminal Of The Week Is A Benefits Cheat