When A White Footballer Tackles A Black Footballer And Wins The Ball Is It Racism?

I really despise football these days. It was never a game for whining wusses and politically correct pillocks when I was young.

I also despise political correctness which is spreading through the game like a cancer, to the extent that in future when we talk about team playing a 4-4-2 formation it will mean four east Europeans, four ethnic minorities and two gays.

I despise the overpaid, overmuscled retards who play in the Premiership, was Bobby Moore known for his six pack or George Best for having a daft haircut? Do players these days need a daft haircut in order to get a game or are their stupid coiffures simply the result of having more money than The Bank Of England and more testicles than brain cells.

A big part of the trouble stems from the fact that the game is administred by fully paid up, card carrying members of the cunt’s club. The latest example of idiocy comes from Gordon Taylor, Chairperson of the Professional Footballers Association:

from The Guardian:

Gordon Taylor has accused football sides of “a hidden racism which holds clubs back” when it comes to appointing black managers and called for the introduction of the “Rooney Rule” in use in American football to ensure that black candidates have an adequate representation on interview shortlists for coaching positions.

The chief executive of the Professional Footballers’ Association told the BBC that the appointment of black players as coaches “should be based on merit” and he said that they had “merit as players and merit as coaches”.

He added: “I can give you a list of black players who’ve become coaches, who’ve got their A licence, who’ve got their B licence, who’ve gone all the way up the ranks, they’ve got the pro-licence and aren’t getting opportunities. So I know for a fact they’ve got that merit but there is a hidden racism that seems to hold clubs back.”

Taylor praised Huddersfield for appointing Chris Powell after he was sacked by Charlton in March though he is now only one of two black managers employed by the 92 clubs in English football along with Keith Curle at Carlisle.

“Can we not have a recruitment process that is open and transparent and contains black, asian, minority or ethnic people who are qualified? said Taylor.

“They have the Rooney Rule in gridiron because they similarly had a high number of black players but no black coaches. The rule was introduced to say look, at least make sure you’ve interviewed some of these players who want to stay in the game and then they found, not unsurprisingly, that they had some real quality players who became top-class black coaches. But in this country that’s not happened and we are merely asking for a recruitment process that is open and transparent and does exactly that.”

So this very influential figure in the game thinks we have things to learn from American gridiron football, a game played by 250lb sissies who are so gay that they have to stop the game for a group hug when one of the girlie-boys gets a grass stain on his shorts. Obviously Gordon Taylor and the other politically correct fuckwits think that’s what real football, the game for men, is in need of. Skinner Normanton would turn in his grave (scroll past the related articles links).

As for Taylor’s comments about how unfair it is that guys with a full set of coaching certificates can’t get a job as managers, does he really think a bagful of coaching certificates make a suitable candidate for team management. I have two words for him: David fucking Moyes.

There, I did that without mentioning Super Mario Balotelli, a player described at the time of his signing for Liverpool as the embodiment of everything that is wrong with football. Whoever said that is a master of understatement.

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The Strange Case Of The Footballer And The Witch Hunt.

Mickey Rooney Heirs To Sue Footballer Wayne?

We could be in for some interesting scenes in the law courts once the vultures lawyers get hold of this idea.

The mother of three-year-old Rooney Scholes ran into trouble when a chocolatier refused to write the little boy’s name on a chocolate Easter egg, claiming Wayne Rooney might sue for breach of copyright.

Pause a moment to take in the sheer idiocy of what you just read, and you will understand why Boggart Blog had to give up our former style of parodying the stupidity of the pompous fools who run the world. We have let these same pomous fools create a world of such surreal insanity they are beyond parody.

Life-long Manchester United fan Jo-Anne Scholes who named her cats Cantona and Berbatov told the press after the Thorntons chocolate store in Bury refused to write “Rooney” on an egg in chocolate icing.
(Jo-Anne Scholes? Is that not breach of copyright? Has former United striker and professional ginge Paul Scholes not copyrighted the name? And should I not be suing that upstart Ian Thorpe for using my name without paying me as licence fee, after all I was Ian Thorpe and had published poetry and fiction before that big footed copyright pirate was born. So my copyright is implied if not legally asserted.

Thornton’s explained their excessive caution is due to the fact that many superstar footballers globally trademark their names to avoid being associated with unofficial merchandise, but also to piss off young children who happen to have the same name. If your family name is Smith, Brown, Robinson, Taylor, Jones or N’dabaninge and your little lad has a fairly common forename, forget the personalised easter eggs.

On the other hand, who’d want to give their kid an official Wayne Rooney easter egg anyway?

easter-egg-face
An official Wayne Rooney © Easter Egg

Thanks For The Sympathy

Whilst Wayne Rooney has been abroad preparing for last night’s match against Switzerland, Mrs Rooney has been left to face the shattering news that her husband was allegedly forking out enough dosh for a whole fleet of Silver Cross perambulators for a quick shag with a slag, whilst she was preggie with their son Kai.

Coleen has been staying with her family in Huyton, but broke cover yesterday to visit her sister in hospital. She was reported to look “drawn” as she was escorted past the paps waiting for her eventual appearance.

Max Clifford, giving us an almost perfect example of insensitivity commented that Coleen could make millions from this, if she plays her cards right.

Boggartblog was able to eavesdrop on a subsequent telephone conversation between Coleen and a representative of P. R. Mann and Associates, a public relations and management company.

P. R. Mann: Coleen, may I call you Coleen? Good! Now then we were wondering whether you’ve given any thought to how you are going to handle these revelations that your husband allegedly slept, well for £1200 let’s hope he was too busy to sleep, haw haw, with a prostitute?

Col: Stifled sob.

P.R. Mann: I see, it’s all been a bit of a shock! We at P.R. Mann and Associates understand that totally, but we also understand the importance of striking whilst the iron is hot, just like that bit of totty your husband shagged (allegedl, snigger), must have been. Phwoar!

Col: Shuddering sob of despair.

P.R.Mann. The thing is, though, Coleen, you can turn this to your advantage! Just look at Cheryl Cole. Everybody loves her now!
If you play your cards right, you can make millions. We can turn you into a national treasure! It sounds interesting doesn’t it?

Col: Loudly blowing nose. I really don’t want to talk about it at the moment. My husband is away, my sister is ill and I’ve got a little boy to think about….

P.R.Mann: Aw COleen, come on! This could be your big moment. You could host your own T.V. Show. You could give the low down on some of those other footballers. John Terry cheated on his wife, Peter Crouch was caught with a prostitute, hey maybe we could do one of those exchange programmes, Wags and Slags, that’d be brilliant…

Col: Strangulated sobbing.

P.R.Mann: All I’m saying Coleen is think about it, okay? We know you’re probably a bit upset at the moment but give it time and we’re sure you’ll come to see things the same way as we do, alright?
How about I give you a call tomorrow?

Oh, by the way, if you see Roo give him my best, brilliant performance last night, saw it all on the web, that lass was gagging for it, no wonder he scored! Oh and he played a good half of football as well.

Col: Screams. The phone is slammed down.

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Swive You Arseling

Rooney to Ref – Swive you, you aersling. Boggart Blog World Cup Exclusive

We hear from our dung beetle in Durban that foreign referee’s officiating in England’s group matches and whose command of the English vernacular is poor are attending classes to help them understand British “bad words” so that they may earn the promised bungs from Russia and Spain by sending off Wayne Rooney for ungentlemanly conduct.

Rooney you may remember upset a local ref in one of England’s warm up matches by telling the hapless official to fuck off after serial opposing defenders had carved their names in stud marks on the England striker’s legs.

Boggart Blog. though not a football blog is as patriotic as any British blog can be so we had a brain storming session to come up with a scheme to protect Roo from over zealous foreign referees. We are sending out our expert on medieval English, Grammercy Pecksniff to coach Rooney in using archaic swear words and insulting phrases words even English referees will not understand.

Here are some samples of what you may look forward to:
Go and swive yourself ref, you blind catamite
Keep up with lay you stupid aersling
You’re about as much use as a pox–whore’s scablouse.
It was a good goal you swiving quente.

With these we hope Rooney will be able to vent his spleen in safety.

More humour every day at Boggart Blog

Rooney, The Old School Factor and The World Cup

Wayne Rooney is in trouble already, apparently he told a local referee to “fuck off” during a “friendly” football game in South Africa. Though the match was supposed to be a gentle pipe opener for the England team Rooney was continuously fouled by the local players. Worse the referee seemed blind to the blatant infringements. (Could he and the players trying to take out England’s star have been bribed? Maybe that old geezer had a point after all.) The fouls against Rooney were neither penalised not were the offenders warned.

Eventually Rooney, frustrated at getting no protection from the match official protested after one particularly nasty tackle. When the ref. told the hot tempered scouser with the short fuse he had seen no foul Rooney told him to “fuck off,” whereupon the Ref penalised the England man.

OooooohhhhhhhHHHHHH! A sensitive referee. You’d think somebody whose parents were not married to each other and I’ve heard the parents of football referees seldom are, might have developed a thicker skin.

If the African refs are all going to be so touchy its a good thing Wayne Rooney was not educated in the kind of school I attended. Had he been, his protest might have been phrased, ” I say Referee! Play the white man, sir!

More humour every day at Boggart Blog

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Is He Brain Dead?
Flying The Flag For England? You Racist.

World Cup: The idea is to win butEngland players don’t get It

Far be it from us to suggest footballers are thick, I mean thinking the idea of a penalty shootout is to put the ball as far wide or high of the goal as possible is a simple mistake to make. Falling over your own feet as Becks once did is less excusable but we make allowances for Dave.

Emile Heskey reached a new level of incomptence however, and what more he did it, thus scuppering any slight chance of winning we may have had before the tournament even starts. I suppose in a way we shjould be happy. It would have been worse if Heskey had taken out Waynne Rooney.

Nobody told Emile it is a very bad idea to break he leg of your captain and best defender in a training kickabout. If only we had taken one of those old timers famed for damaging opponents, Chopper Harris, Norman “bites yer legs” Hunter or even little Nobby Stiles to make sure the lands understood the basic priniple of tackling, “if he’s on our side don’t kick him – or at least dont kick him hard.”

Were ex Barnsley centre half Skinner Normanton still alive he would turn in his grave.

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Is he brain dead – no, he’s a footballer

RECREATIONAL READING FOR PEOPLE WHO HATE FOOTBALL
The Kiss – about 6000 words)
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