Pissed as a Fart, Good; Chuffing Legless, Bad

So Cam the Man, having side lined the former Health Secretary or whatever he was who was definitely not in favour of this policy, now feels free to push through his idea of minimum pricing for units of alcohol in an effort to stop binge drinking and subsequent unruly behaviour, spewing and shagging amongst the poorer classes.

What, you thought it was going to affect everybody the same?

Personally, these days I wouldn’t touch a bottle of vino at less than £6.00 which works out at more than 45p per unit, on the grounds that most of them taste like paint stripper or cheap cough mixture.

And lets just cast our minds back to some recent notorious incidents of unruly behaviour which you can bet your bottom dollar were not fuelled by Tesco’s ‘2-for-1’ 2 litre bottles of White Lightning.

Mike Tindall, son in law to HRH and England Rugby player, brawling, dwarf throwing and snogging strange blonde beauties?

Freddie Flintoff, former England cricketer, 2am pedallo trip off the coast of Australia necessitating being rescued by the coastguard?

Joey Barton doing his best Inspector Clouseau, oh hang on, he was sober that time, but he certainly wasn’t when he first came to notoriety for duffing up a heckler in Leeds City centre in the small hours.

Prince Harry, strip snooker.

The entire squad of a premiership football team, as good as gang rape.
plus the women who put themselves in those situations, you can’t tell me they are fully compost minty.

Even our dear old Cam the Man himself and fellow Bullingdon club members, Boris and George, they weren’t nipping down to the local offie to pre-load on Scotch Mist before they indulged in getting drunk, having food fights, breaking things and quite possibly collapsing in the gutter telling their own pool of vomit that it is the only one who understands them and they want to have its babies.

All of the incidents above will have been fuelled by expensive beverages, champagne will have flowed freely, along with a decent case of Claret if dinner was served, probably rounded off by the finest cognac before hitting the bubbly again.

Nah, pricing units of alcohol has sod all to do with stopping binge drinking, but a lot to do with stopping the great unwashed binge drinking.