Soros Behind South African Violence Against White Farmers

source: South Africa Today

Violence against South African white farmers is reaching epidemic proportions and many people believe that Marxist billionaire, investor and political meddler Soras is financing evil plans for Africa. Is this a plan to wipe out the white race. (see video below)

George Soros is routinely accused of being behind almost every violent, disruptive, racially divisive, trouble making group of political activists on the planet, from the “colour revolutions” in Serbia, Georgia, Ukraine and elsewhere to the civil war in Syria and the Muslim violence in European cities. Almost everybody who follows world news, including government leaders of every country on earth knows this. In fact Soros is a much more likely bet to be the influence behind alleged Russian meddling in the UK Brexit referendum, the 2016 US Presidential election, and elections in France, The Netherlands, Greece and Spain than “Russian Hackers”, the myth created by mainstream media.

For reasons that should be obvious but will get you labelled as a ‘conspiracy theorist’ if you comment on them, Soros is allowed to continue with his meddling, intsigating and nefarious acts. Why? Because the governments answer to agents further up the ladder, those at the top whose faces we would not recognise and whose names are barely known. We recognize those at the top as the elite puppet masters of this system we live in. These super – elitists control the politicians, the courts, the corporations, the banks (our money system), the military industrial complex.

They control the puppet politicians and tell them what to do. Soros? He is to be left alone to do his dirty work. He is an agent of the elite puppet masters who control it all. That is why although Soros dastardly acts are well known and recognized by the governments they do absolutely nothing to prevent him from carrying out his loathsome acts against humanity. On and on it goes.

RELATED POSTS:

Kenyan President Uhuru Kenyatta vows to ‘fix’ judiciary after Supreme Court election annulment
Last month the Kenyan preisidential election was won by the uncumbent, President Uhuru Kenyatta, but rioting broke out as supporters of opposition candidate Ralia Odinga protested that the election was rigged. Yesterday the Supreme Court announced the annulment of this election. Kenyatta reacted by promising to “fix” the country’s judiciary, following the decision.

Mr Kenyatta’s win was declared “invalid, null and void” by four Supreme Court judges, who cited “irregularities in the transmission of results”.

A fresh election has been ordered for October.

Half A Million People Flee Sectarian Violence In Central African Republic

September 15: The UN refugee agency says escalating sectarian violence in the remote Central African Republic has increased the number of people fleeing the deadly conflict to its highest level since the beginning of the country’s conflict four years ago. Accoding to a report from Reuters the agency said in Geneva on Friday that more than half … Continue reading

White South Africans Are Preparing For “Removal of All Whites Within Five Years”

May 4, 2017: Authored by Daniel Lang via SHTFplan.com, Back in March, the President of South Africa made a shocking suggestion, which left many white landowners fearing that they may face a race war in the near future. In a speech, Jacob Zuma announced that he wanted the government to begin confiscating white owned lands, before redistributing them … Continue reading

Another Humanitarian Crisis Looms In Africa

February 26: Crop-destroying armyworms ravage parts of Africa, could spread to tropical Asia – UN The caterpillar larvae of an armyworm sits on the leaf of a corn plant, South Africa,PHOTO: BLOOMBERG via Reuters, KINSHASA – The Crop-destroying moth larvae known as armyworms are reported to be ravaging southern Africa and have now spread north to the … Continue reading

2018

Real News Ignored As Both Sides Of Political Spectrum Push Their agendas
A case in point is the real but largely unreported war which is taking place throughout the African continent. It involves the United States, resurgent Russia, and a rising China, ready to take advantage of the US failure to dominate Afghanistan. The outcome of the war, which is economic with only occasional military skirmishes involving proxies, is likely to define the future of the continent and the global power balance.

2017

EU President: Without Millions of African Migrants, Europe Will Be Lost
Brussels is planning to open legal pathways for all migrants “who want to come” says European Commission chief Jean-Claude Juncker, declaring that Europe has a “clear need” for mass migration from Africa. This jumped up little pen pushing pouf from Luxembourg is either unaware of the mayhem his beloved migrants have cause or he seriously wants to destroy Europe completely by importing even more violent, sexually incontinent, illiterate, unemployable arseholes …

Half A Million People Flee Sectarian Violence In Central African Republic
The UN refugee agency says escalating sectarian violence in the remote Central African Republic has increased the number of people fleeing the deadly conflict to its highest level since the beginning of the country’s conflict four years ago. Accoding to a report from Reuters the agency said in Geneva on Friday that more than half …

Immigration crisis is a Soros scam
Media Blackout Of Hacked George Soros Documents.
DC Leaks Hack Of Soros Open Society Foundation Reveals How Billionaire World Domination Freak Plans To Control The Media
Clinton E-mails Show When Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton Allowed George Soros To Dictate Foreign Policy
Globalists Like Soros Are Now Blatantly Moving Forward Their Totalitarian World Government Agenda
Soros Attacks Trump: The New World Order Are Afraid …
Are We Heading For A Financial Crash? Chief Reptillian Soros Is Betting On It



MSM Admits Soros Donated $10 Million This Week… Guess Where It Went

News of the Soros / Clinton attempt to subvert the democratic process comes as the outrage on social media over Soros involvement in anti-Trump protests has grown so loud that even the usually globalist – friendly the corporate media has been forced to cover it.As part of a damage control exercise on behalf of the Globalist billionaire, The Clintons and The Democrats (the naive Stein has been hung out to dry) corporate media has been forced to admit he has in fact donated $10 million dollars this week to fight Trump.

Mainstream media admits Soros donated $10 million – guess who to …

Putin’s covert war on western decadence

<!– http://www.spectator.co.uk/2016/10/revealed-putins-covert-war-on-western-decadence/


(Revise to compare Russian moral puritanism with western – mainly American in origin – ideological puritanism) –>


 Earlier this month
young Russian activists turned out in the streets of Moscow to protest against western decadence. Standing in aggressive military poses and dressed in uniforms of ‘Officers of Russia: Executive Youth Wing,’ they blocked access to an exhibition of photographs of nude adolescents by American photographer Jock Sturges.

‘We are here to protect people from paedophilic influences,’ one young Officer of Russia announced to journalists. Another protester sprayed the offending photographs with urine. At the same time, Russia’s state–controlled radio networks were filled with senators, Russian Orthodox priests and government officials denouncing the the exhibition (which shut down immediately after the protests) and demanding the organisers to be prosecuted.

The outcry came shortly after the Russian government banned two popular pornography sites, youporn and xhamster, on the pretext of protecting public morality.

According to some left wing commentators in the west, particularly those sympathetic to the moral libertines of the US Democratic Party and the UK’s Labour party, which both have advocated of legalising sex between adults and children as young as four, Putin’s Russia is fast becoming a very puritan place. Ever since returning to the presidency in 2012, Putin, an active member of Russia’s Orthodox Christian congregation despite his history as a KGB agent under the Soviet regime, has pursued an increasingly religious-conservative ideology both at home and abroad, defining Russia as a moral fortress against sexual licence and decadence, porn and gay rights.

This is true but should be viewed in the context of ideological puritanism in the west, where the Special Snowflake generation suffer attacks of ‘the vapours’ if they encounter ‘microaggressions,’ but a quite comfortable with the idea of allowing gay and transgender propaganda to be taught in schools to children as young as four.

Putin’s puritanism has developed under the influence of two of the most prominent conservative ideologues in Russia: his personal confessor Bishop Tikhon Shevkunov and the geopolitical thinker Alexander Dugin. Bishop Tikhon has long been a critic of the decadence of the modern western world — and his Every-day Saints and the Other Stories was the best–selling Russian book of 2012, rivalled for sales only by Fifty Shades of Grey. Dugin is the architect of Eurasianism, an ideology which holds that Russia has a special historical destiny to save the world from the corrupt moral values of western capitalism.

The influence of the Russian Orthodox church on public life is growing fast, thanks to Kremlin patronage. The church’s preferred instrument of control is a draconian law criminalising ‘offending the feeling of religious believers’ that was passed in the wake of a protest by the feminist punk group Pussy Riot in Moscow’s Christ the Saviour Cathedral in 2012. This may seem obnoxious to western liberals but should be seen as a parallel to European and American acts outlawing ‘hate speech’ which are just as oppressive and illiberal.
 
In March in Stavropol, south Russia, criminal charges were brought against Viktor Krasnov after he wrote ‘God does not exist’ on the VKontakte social network, Russia’s version of Facebook. Krasnov was ordered to spend over a month undergoing examinations in a psychiatric ward before he was finally deemed sane enough to stand trial, and the case continues. Now that is out of order, free speech must always be defended, but let’s not forget that Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, former British Prime Ministers David Cameron, Tony Blair and Gordon Brown, French President Francois Hollande and German Chancellor Angela Merkel have all spoken of criminalising the criticism of climate change alarmism or government policy on globalisation and immigration.

Polls show that most ordinary Russians hold deeply illiberal views on social issues (for example, 21 per cent want to see homosexuals ‘liquidated’, and another 37 per cent advocate ‘separating them from society’ — while only 11 per cent believe homosexuality to be a ‘sexual orientation from birth, which merits the same rights as heterosexual orientation’). And historical polling data from the recently shuttered Levada research centre shows that Russian attitudes on gays, blacks, Jews, foreigners, capital punishment and the like have remained pretty unenlightened since the fall of the Soviet Union.

This echoes the disconnect in European Union members and other liberal democracies including the USA, between the estblishment (politicans and civil servants, academics, media luvvies and public sector professionals) and the masses. In Russia however they liberal fuckwittery is confined to intellectuals.

‘In this epoch of cyborgs, hybrids, mutants, chimeras and virtual reality, mankind will be saved only by tradition,’ Alexander Dugin said in his latest lecture on the Tsargrad TV station. According to him ‘all modernism — the idea of progress, development, the so-called scientific view of the world, democracy and liberalism [is] a Satanic idea that spells a death sentence for humanity… the only defence is asserting God, the church, the empire, the congregation of the faithful, the state, and the people’s traditions.’
Dugin, once a marginal figure, has come closer to the political mainstream as Russia has veered deeper into isolation and nationalism in the wake of the annexation of Crimea in March 2014. 

‘This is a state that cynically uses Orthodox Christianity as a surrogate ideology to prop up its authority,’ argues Brian Whitmore, author of Radio Free Europe/Radio Liberty’s influential blog The Power Vertical. ‘It’s a state where fealty to the Orthodox church, or at least publicly proclaiming fealty, becomes a surrogate for patriotism… and it’s a state where challenging the authority of the church is akin to an act of treason.’

Whitmore is correct but fails to compare Russian religious authoritarianism with western ideological authoritarianism. Consider the vile attacks made by those in western societies who try to disguise their authoritarianism by claiming to be ‘left wing’ and progressive. British motormouth Katie Hopkins, UKIP leader Nigel Farage, TV presenter Piers Morgan, journalist and climate change sceptic James Delingpole, gay conservative writer Milo Yiannopolous, and glamour model Katie Price have all been subjected to hate attacks for expressing opinions that do not conform to the politically correct orthodoxy, in the USA anybody who supports Christian values or questions politically correct thinking is going to be crucified. So we are really looking at civilisations that are heading in opposite directions. And that does not bode well for future prospects of peaceful cooperation.  

MEANWHILE IN THE GLOBAL CAPITAL OF CRAZY

California Legalizes Child Prostitution, Kids Can Now be Sex Workers

Governor Moonbeam has just decriminalized prostitution for minors in California.
He claims that it is meant to make life after human trafficking easier for those forced into it. But who says that the consequences of this move won’t make pedophilia more acceptable? Our government officials have forgotten that their actions will cause dire consequences for others. Or maybe they do know that and they just don’t care.
From DownTrend.com:

This is absolutely astounding. The liberal numbnuts who run the State of California just decriminalized child prostitution. There is no misinterpretation of what they’ve done here. It is no longer illegal for anyone under the age of 18 to engage in prostitution or to solicit money for sex. Like I said, kids in California are now able to legally work as prostitutes.

CBS Sacramento reports that space cadet Governor Jerry Brown signed SB1322 into law on Tuesday. Among other things, this bill exempts minors from the current California prostitution laws. In other words, a person under the age of 18 can no longer be arrested for violating prostitution laws that apply to adults.
I was thinking that maybe the news was reporting this wrong or perhaps they were leaving some stuff out that makes this sound less terrible than it is, but I read the actual wording of the bill and this is what is says:
Existing law makes it a crime to solicit or engage in any act of prostitution. Existing law makes it a crime to loiter in any public place with the intent to commit prostitution. This bill would make the above provisions inapplicable to a child under 18 years of age who is alleged to have engaged in conduct that would, if committed by an adult, violate the above provisions.

Read More 

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Panama Papers: British Elite Linked to Corruption, yet Media Only Focuses on Putin
It is clear (and very easy to research) that many American elitists, including prominent political figures are involved in the Panama tax haven scandal. So why are British news organisations focusin on David Cameeron, the Conservatives and Vladimir Putin? Could it be the Gerge Soros funded group behaind the leaks have another agenda besides exposing (perfectly legal) tax avoidance?

Playing Poker With Obama: Putin’s Calculated Risk In Syria
I’ve said before that the reason Vladimir Putin outmanoeuvres the US State Department in every diplomatic skirmish is that while American’s play poker, which is all about bluff, Putin plays chess which is all about strategy. Russian President Vladimir Putin had decided to risk the possibility of military clashes with the United States and its European Allies, Saudi Arabia, other major Muslim nations and Israel by intervening in Syria …

Stupidity Of America’s Lust For War With Russia
We have reported many times on the American attempts to provoke Russia’s leader Vladimir Putin in the hope that Puting will then fire the first shot in the war the USA so desperately needs to revive its failed economy, unify its dysfunctional society and restore is to the position of dominant global superpower …

Washington is pushing Kiev to military solution of Donbass conflict
The US is inciting Kiev to end the crisis in eastern Ukraine by force, said the Russian foreign minister citing US support of the recent Ukrainian law on the special self-governing status of Donbass, which Moscow says undermines the Minsk-2 deal.


Kiev Breaches Minsk Agreement Within Hours

We all knew the ceasefire agreed by Angela Merkel, Francoise Hollande, Vladimir Putin and Ukrainian Nazi leader Poroschenko would not hold. The people whose country stands to gain most from war, that is of course Barack Obama and John Kerry, President and secretary of State of the USA, the country that wants and needs perpetual war, were trying derail the fragile deal while the four leaders were still negotiating.

The Hard-Core Nazis Who Rule In Kiev Were Put There By EU and USA
“Their children will hole up in basements!” screeched Ukrainian “President” Poroshenko, the oligarch and “Chocolate King.” “This is how we will win this war!” He was talking about the children of the people of East Ukraine, whose cities are being bombed from the air by the US-supported Ukrainian military. Thousands have been killed, mostly civilians: Ukraine’s war on its own people has displaced nearly a million people …

Are Europe And USA Drifting Apart Over Warmonger President Obama’s Aggressive Attitude To Russia?
The entire foreign policy of the Obama Administration in the USA is based on having its European alliesd give a veneer of respectability to America’s warmongering, economic imperialism and blatant bullying of smaller nations. But has the rent bot President overreached himself in trying to bully Russia’s Vladimir Putin?

Russia along with three quarters of the world, is isolated
The latest EU sanctions announced today after last weeks NATO summit have left Russia increasingly isolated in the world according to mainstream media reports of the response from western governments.

Without American leadership, democracy is in peril? Not really.
Much of the corporate propaganda spouting mainstream media are forecasting a bad outcome from the current chaose in Ukraine, with ISIS aka ISIL aka Islamic State in Syria and Iraq and with other local conflicts that are part of a cultural war. The consensus is that the west is currently not winning because of the failure of American leadership. This is untrue, most of the problems exist because America is leading the world towards war.

The Latest Misinformation Out Of Kiev
Sometimes we think things are cooling down in Ukraine, media ficus on the propaganda war betweek the kiev government and its American and European backers and the pro Russian separatists, backed by The Kremlin distracts us from what is going on on the ground. But there is still plenty goig on on the ground

Funny Things Happen In Ukraine – The Destriction Of The Convoy That Didn’t Exist
The Ukraine Government claimed they had destroyed a Russian convoy that entered their territory. East Ukrainian rebels denounced it as an atrocity. Two British journalists working near the Russia / Ukrain border said they had witnessed the carnage. Russia said there had been no convoy. Independent sources said satellite pictures showed no evidence of wreckage. WTF was that all about?

“Anti-Putin” Alliance Fraying: Germany, Slovakia, Greece, Czech Republic Urge End To Russian Sanctions
When I posted a blog yesterday, Game and set to Putin (it wasn’t quite match) which commented on how while Russia has shrugged off the American and EU sanctions, European farmers were being hit hard by Russia’s retaliatory ban on foodstuff from the EU, Mike St. Mark replied that while the Russian leader was running rings round the USA, EU and Ukraine, he didn’t think it was quite game and set at that point. It is now …

Game And Set To Putin – Sanctions Hit EU Economies
Do you remember how the lefties cheered just a short while ago when in retaliation for Russia not obliging the warmongers of the military / industrial complex by starting World War Three in response to numerous provocations. They praised …


German Handelsblatt Releases Stunning Anti-West Op-Ed, Asks If West Rabble-Rousers Are On The Payroll Of The KGB

Up until this point in the Obama Administrations attempt to recreate events leading up to World War One, Angela Merkel and German media in general, had been firmly on the side of the west when it comes to dealing with Russia, Putin and realpolitik in broader terms. That changed dramatically today when Gabor Steingart, the chief editor of Handelsblatt, Germany’s leading economic newspaper, came out with a stunning op-ed, in German, English and Russian, titled simply that “The West on the wrong path”

FUKUS axis imposes sanctions, Russian Oligarchs Shrug

So far in the Libyan crisis, the Syria crisis, the Iraq crisis and the Ukraine crisis, Obama and the European leaders have made a lot of noise and imposed a lot of meaningless sanctions (like confiscating the bus passes of retired Russian gengsters living in the west. And the Russians have just quietly got on with doing what they were doing.

FUKUS axis imposes sanctions, Russian Oligarchs Shrug
You have probably read a torrent of arse dribble in mainstream media about “Russia is becoming increasingly isolated” It’s a meme that political leaders in the FUKUS axis, EU and NATO would like us to believe. It isn’t quite the whole story however.

Elsewhere: [ The Original Boggart Blog] … [ Daily Stirre.shtml ]…[Little Nicky Machiavelli]… [ Ian’s Authorsden Pages ]… [ It’s Bollocks My Dears, All Bollocks ] [Scribd]…[Wikinut] … [ Boggart Abroad] … [ Grenteeth Bites ] … [ Latest Posts ] [Ian Thorpe at Flickr ] … [Latest Posts] … [ Tumblr ] … [Ian at Minds ] … [ Authorsden blog ] … [Daily Stirrer News Aggregator]

Best Headline Of The Day Is From The Daily Mail

OK, those of you who feel you must throw a hissy fit at any mention of The Daily Mail can fuck the fucking fuck off, now. This story amused me.

Russian Nikolaev Bolloxov recovering in hospital after his ordeal

Married TV actor wakes up to find his testicles have been STOLEN after he is drugged in Russian bar by attractive blonde working for organ traffickers

Actor Dmitry Nikolaev, 30, was chatted up in a bar by a blonde who approached him after a performance and asked if she could buy him a drink .

He said she flirting with him then invited him to a sauna, and though he was married, he agreed to go with her.

They kissed and had some more beer and after that the actor remembers nothing,’ Moscow police said.

He woke up next day at a bus stop, feeling acute pain, and with blood on his trousers. Later in hospital, he was told that his testicles had been removed and that ‘it was done like proper surgery by someone with a medical education’. The operation was conducted in a ‘skillful way’, said police, who believe his beer was spiked by an unknown drug.

Now I have in my time explained away love bites and scratches on my back to Mrs. T, but I think even the most experienced philanderer would have trouble persuading his wife the absence of bollocks was due to a bizarre gardening accident

And my other question is who the fuck would buy a pair of second hand bollocks?
Read more at The Daily Mail:

If Your Beard Infringes Copyright, Shave Now!

Experience has shown Russian mathematician and blogger Mikhail Verbitsky that there’s a price to be paid for being flippant about about peiople’s beards. This is bad news for Boggart Blogas in the past we have blogged about beards of terror, beards of mass destruction and improvided explosice beards.

“So what’s the deal with beards and copyright?” you might well ask. It is a typoical tale of Russian secret police, subversion, sensitivity and whiskers.

Verbitsky was on his way to a mathematics conference in Warsaw last week when he was seized by border guards at Sheremetyevo Airport and hustled into a detention cell. The grim faced guards took his passport and shuttled him from room to room without explanation, until at last one suggested that Verbitsky check the bailiff’s website to see whether he was in debt.

Sure enough, there he was — a debtor, convicted in absentia for copyright infringement. As a consequence, he is barred from leaving Russia until he pays 300,000 rubles ($10,000) on charges he’d never heard of.

The charge, Verbitsky later learned, is fr the result of a July 2006 blog post in which he ridiculed an ultranationalist named Igor Pugach using an image and text from Pugach’s website.

In the passage, Pugach, who refers to himself alternately as the “commander of the Order of Moscow,” “his majesty” and the “prince of Tenkinsky,” accused Brazilian writer Paulo Coelho of violating copyrights by wearing a goatee, a style of beard that Pugach claims is his intellectual property and a part of Russia’s cultural heritage.

“The website is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen on the Internet,” Verbitsky said. “Pugach is suing everybody because of a beard. He believes he owns the idea of beards, essentially.”

Pugach has accused Russian rock star Andrei Makarevich, former U.S. Ambassador to Russia John Beyrle and scores of others of copyright infringement. Verbitsky, who wears a full beard and not a goatee, said he was probably convicted for using the trademarked image of Pugach’s bearded visage without permission, not merely for sporting a beard himself.

A Pugach associate said the wearing of a goateeny beard that could be shaved into a goatee, of even possession of equipment that could be used in the growing of a goatee (i.e. a chin and male hormones) constituted a violation of Pugach’s copyright.

“The beard is an element of a trademark,” said the man, who refused to identify himself but said he was not Pugach (well he would, wouldn’t he?). “Nobody has the right to use it without permission.”

He also denied Verbitsky’s claim that Pugach, whose name means popgun, had sued scores of celebrities and lost every time.

“Pugach hasn’t sued any actors or musicians,” he said.
We wonder what the legal definition of a goatee is. I mean, OK Guy Fawkes had one but do those facial hair fashions that involve a small trisngle of hair under the lower lip and make the wearer look like he has a little minge under his mouth count as copyright infringement. And what about teenage boys with a bit of bumfluff on their chin like Shaggy in Scooby Doo?

I’m clean shaven so I don’t care but beardies need legal clarification of this now.

The charge against Verbitsky has caused much ROTFLMAO in the blogosphere, where bloggers were quick to point out Pugach’s extreme nationalist politics make a mockery of his global crusade to control the goatee with the help of his company, Boroda, or in English, Beard.

Verbitsky however isn’t taking it lightly.

“It looks like a joke, but it’s absolutely not a joke,” he wrote on his blog after he was detained. “I need a lawyer, a professional lawyer.”

Your Boggart Blog correspondent thinks Pugarch needs professional help too but not necessarily from a lawyer. Is pognophilia a recognised mental illness.

Read more: http://www.themoscowtimes.com/news/article/mathematician-slapped-with-travel-ban-at-request-of-bearded-prince/457074.html#ixzz1vL1KCYLR
The Moscow Times

RELATED POSTS:
Beards Of Terror
You Just Can’t Be Too Paranoid

Piracy On The Silly Season Seas

One of the highlights of silly season at Boggart Blog is a story from our international piracy expert Blaack Jaack Baastard. Over to the Boggart Blog Beaking News Desk

With news breaking every few minutes on the story of the Russian freighter Arctic Sea which disappeared as it steamed through the Baltic en route for Algeria and turned up a few days later 4000 mmiles away off Cape Verde, we go straight over to Bogart Blog’s Piracy correspondent Blaack Jaack Baastard on the deck of his pirate galleon The Putrid Prawn for an update on the story.

“Avast blogmates, heave to or I’ll splice your mainbraces. This be Blaack Jaack Baastard the most ruthless, black hearted cut-throat ever to sail the Basingstoke Canal reporting from Cape Verde exclusively for Boggart Blog. Ha – haarrrr! You laandlubbers is wanting to know about the hijacked ship I reckons. Well me and my crew o’ scabrous, scurvied scumsuckers is on an information gathering exercise for MI6 so we’m right on the spot.

Now us Pirates are not known for understatement, laarger than life characters we be, what talks very loud in ridiclious accents and tells tall tales about our adventures on the Spanish Main, ooh – arrrr. I says all this because even the most hyperbolic of scum – sucking swabs could not embellish the faacts of the Artic Sea hijack.

There’s some as tried to blame Pirates for the ship’s lost days, but pustulatin’ porpoises mates, that Russian rustbucket was loaded with timber. To accuse Pirates, that is a gross calumny. A cargo of matchsticks and cocktail sticks? We Pirates has our staandards so we do. We likes to steal cargoes of diamonds, emeralds, amethysts, topazes and cinnamon and gold moidores from stately Spanish galleons, not matchsticks and orange boxes from Russian freighters. There’s poetry in Piracy, how many of you laandlubbin swabs spotted Blaack Jaaack’s poetic reference there eh? Ha – harrr, Blaack Jaack Baastard be a heducated maan.

Now you wants to know about the mystery of the Arctic Sea. Where did the ship go when it disappeared off the radar, how come the coastguard never spotted it butting through the channel. Now forget those calumnious falsehoods you read in the papers or heerd on television. That rotten Russian hulk was no Quinquereme of Nineveh from distant Ophir, they didn’t carry no ivory and apes and peacocks, nothing for a thief. Not even components for Iraan’s nucular weapons program as some reports has suggested. Haa – haaaar but they had something somebody wanted shipmate, some haddock humper had a use for the bilge ballast that was on board.

Now ask yourself, how could an old crate like that get 4000 miles in that time? The aanswer, mates, will make your hair pop out and your eyes stand on end. The good ship Arctic Sea was habducted by haliens mates, ha haar! Oh yes, you’re all sceptical now, you lily livered lubbers. I tell ‘ee me heartyies, there’s things happen at sea far stranger, things as would curdle you bile and turn your blood to custard.

I talked to one of they Russian lads, he tol’ me the ship was lifted clean out of the water by the tractor beam of an intergalactic starcruiser what is ’overin’ even now, screened from radar by energy shields. Arr mates, that ship was lifted into the great hold of the halien spacecraaft and the crew was hexperimented on. Ha – haar mates, cruel, inooman hexperiments them haliens done on the sailors and they even forced ‘em to drink a consignment o’ Leningrad Cowboys vodka what was in the ship’s hold.

And why did they do this you might well ask. I’ll tell ’ee. Them sardine shaggers is space privateers and they was working for the Intergalactic Emperor. He wants to create a hybrid race with alien superintelligence but ooman physiology so as they can live of earth and subjugate it for th’ intergalactic empire. So he says to the Privateer Cap’n, “Get down there to earth mate and gather me some samples of ooman semen.

Ha – haar shipmates. You remember now, International talk like a Pirate Day of 2009 be just a few weeks away.

Discover the source of the poetic cargoes Black Jack likes to steal.

THE DAILY STIRRER
and don’t forget all the other Greenteeth Multi Media pages…
Greenteeth Multi Media
bogboggart
Greenteeth Comedy Pages
A Tale Told By An Idiot
Ian at Authorsden

A cocktail of mixed metaphors

I have always appreciated the comic potential of a mixed metaphor (provided it is shaken not stirred of course) so I have to express disappointment with this one from guest blogger Christopher Hatem at America’s Right. Chris warns that while Americans is focused on the action on the main, stage Barack Obama, his magicians top hat and his white rabbit stimulus bill, they are ignoring the fire in the lobby. The fire in the lobby is The Russian Bear Chris says.

Sorry but it just doesn’t work for me.

“The Russian Bear is the elephant in the room would have been better.

Share your favourite mixed metaphors in the comment thread.

UPDATED 18:00 Feb. 10

AMERICANS of the Democrat persuasion seem to think now Bish has gone and they have elected a Black President we all love them. It was never just Bush of course. Read this article by Carol Gould slating Stephen Fry’s rather affectionate look at America which the writer here accuses Fry of deploying a nasty anti American spin. For someone who has lived in Britain, Gould demontrastes a complete failure to understand the British mindset as I point out rather eloquently in my comment #21 in the thread.

The Man With The Pollonium Gun

The murdered Russian Spy story rumbles on and the trail of suspicion which has pointed to a London Hotel, a Sushi bar, The Kremlin and Muswell Hill now shifts once more. A new figure has emerged in the form of Professor Scaramella of Naples.
Professor who? Somebody is having a laugh. Was this new twist by any chance reported by a correspondent named Ffion Lemming?
And is the Professor a bald, weasel faced man who carries a Persian cat everywhere and rides round in a nuclear powered wheelchair that shoots jets of scalding hot minestrone soup at enemies.
I think the only way this case will ever be solved is if, for information leading to the capture of the criminals a substantial reward is offered.
ONE MILLION DOLLARS ought to do the trick.

The Man With The Pollonium Gun

The murdered Russian Spy story rumbles on and the trail of suspicion which has pointed to a London Hotel, a Sushi bar, The Kremlin and Muswell Hill now shifts once more. A new figure has emerged in the form of Professor Scaramella of Naples.
Professor who? Somebody is having a laugh. Was this new twist by any chance reported by a correspondent named Ffion Lemming?
And is the Professor a bald, weasel faced man who carries a Persian cat everywhere and rides round in a nuclear powered wheelchair that shoots jets of scalding hot minestrone soup at enemies.
I think the only way this case will ever be solved is if, for information leading to the capture of the criminals a substantial reward is offered.
ONE MILLION DOLLARS ought to do the trick.

I Just Met A Girl Named Maria.

From time to time something happens that makes me feel I am once more young and attractive to the opposite sex. Such an instance was the e-mail I received this week from Maria. She wrote:
“Hello Mr. Thorp. I am dark hair Russian, age 26, attractive professional lady and working in marketing structure selling cosmetic (ooh that accent sends chills up and down my spine.).I read your details on world wide web and find you interesting, attractive man (Isn’t she wonderful?) I am intelligent, mature woman who is ready for creating family with good man. (ah – erm, creating family? As in making babies? She obviously didn’t read the bit about the vasectomy…) Even if this is not your searching for in the future it would be fine if we can meet and do friendship (friendship, bugger! I thought I’d scored) or maybe do more than just friendship (I have scored!)
Mail me,
yours with love and many kisses, (now hang on girl, we haven’t been properly introduced)
Maria.

Needless to say I’m all of a flutter wondering does she have green eyes and those classic Russian cheekbones, is her accent really that cute and will the overdraft stretch to an hour of her time or just a quickie?