And Now, The End Is Near…

The sports pages tell us the big news in F1 is whether Lewis Hamilton wil stay at McLaren or move to Mercedes next season. Do we give a flying fuck? Lewis has shown himself to be a brilliant driver, but appears to have a bit of a character flaw leading to a lack of judgement on occasion, ergo the number of times he collided with Felipe Massa back in 2010, the lying about slowing to let Jarno Trulli pass under a yellow flag in 2009,and just this season the posting of his teammates technical data on Twitter.

Perhaps its something to do with being a very, very good driver, Michael Schumacher has seven world championships to his name but also a long list of people he has pushed off the track, Damon Hill being the most memorable as their feud simmered over the seasons. David Coulthard was on the receiving end of Schumi’s favourite manoeuvre, misjudging his breaking distance and ploughing into the back of the car in front,Jean – Eric Vergne was the latest to suffer, although Sergio Perez and Bruno Senna have both been taken out in similar fashion by Herr Schumacher.

Perhaps it is time the old Maestro realised he is past it, as he was when he came back but God loves a tryer I guess.

In football John Terry announced his decision to retire with immediate effect from international football. This doesn’t seem to have anything to do with his football skills declining or otherwise, but rather he appears to be a bit miffed with the FA.

Of course, just because he isn’t going to play for England anymore doesn’t mean you won’t see him, in full England kit, celebrating on the pitch with his former team-mates after the match.

Vettel Trips Over Lip

The F1 World Sulking Championship moved along to Hungary this week, throwing up a new contender for the title on the way.

Poor old Fernando Alonso, having been sulking almost continually for the last two months was unfortunately unable to get in a strop about anything.

He managed a creditable third on the grid ahead of his teammate Massa and remained remarkably cool to force his way past Webber and up into second by the end of the second corner.

Pitting early on in the safety car controlled period he maintained his position behind Vettel, but dropped to third as Webber elected to keep going.

As the safety car prepared to pull over, Webber tucked up nice and close behind it, Vettel appeared to be backing up the field, ready for the re-start, falling foul of the regulation that states the cars should be within ten car’s lengths of the safety car, but not even that could make Fernando lose his rag.

Vettel was duly called into the pits for a drive through penalty, leaving Fernando in second with an unassailable gap to Webber up ahead, and a dramatically diminishing gap to the hard charging Vettel.

As we all learnt long ago, apart from Fernando that is, it isn’t enough to be the fastest man on the track, you’ve also got to be able to pass the man in front, and if he isn’t part of your team there is no way he can be made to move aside to let you through.

So Vettel, who set lots and lots of fastest laps during the race, was stuck behind Fernando, and as Fernando knows only too well, the Ferraris are a bugger to pass.

Having to settle for third when obviously he was expecting a win, Vettel looked like he’d been sucking on a lemon for the entire race.
That man could scowl for Germany.
He ranted and raved, stuck his bottom lip out, slouched in his chair like an angry teenager, blamed everyone else except himself and stormed through to take the full 25 points in the Sulking Championship.

Rubens Barrichello used to do sulking, when he was younger and partnered with Schumacher at Ferrari.
These days, as The Stig’s Faster Brazillian Cousin, he does affable, laid-back, grand-old-man-of-the-sport.

Having been harrassing his former team mate for several laps Rubens finally made his move on lap 65, lunging down the right of Schumacher as they screamed down the pit straight.
Schumacher, who still does the villain of the piece best of all, took a good look in his mirrors and then calmly moved to the right, squeezing Barrichello up to the wall.
Rubens held his breath and his ground until the pit wall ended and he was able to take advantage of the pit lane exit to surge past Schumi.
I was quite surprised that on completing the passing manoeuvre RB didn’t stick his hand up out of the cockpit and make the universal gesture to show Schumi what a wanker he was.

Interviewed later Schumacher claimed it was all Barrichello’s fault, Schumi had moved across to the right because he was leaving loads of room for Rubens to pass on the left…