Last week I posted an article to remind you all what a bag o shite Tony Blair is. The purpose was to make sure the truth is out there as Blair tries to reinvent himself as The Worlds Greatest Catholic. The responses to the post included along with the usual witty banter from regular readers some outraged whines from fans of Tony Blair. These sad little people were, with one honourable exception, they are the type who create an e-mail address solely to comment in one thread so their comments have no value at all. But I would not want the nerds to think they are not appreciated. You see, being nerds they just couldnt let things lie, they had to try to impose their views on Boggart Blog. This meant we got a bumper crop of comments which kept the thread attracting traffic for several days.
Lets see if we can pull off the same trick with Gordon Brown who has been nominated this weeks bog oshite of the week. Why has he been awarded that title you might well ask? It is because he continues to believe we are all too stupid to know that when he talks of green shoots of recovery he is just trying to get us spending insanely again.
Brown, supported by two sidekicks, the one who looks like a Thunderbirds puppet (for non British readers, Thunderbirds was a 1960 sci fi puppet show; no, really, it was; which has gained cult status around the world) and the one who looks like a puppet from Fireball XL5, another 1960s sci fi puppet show which has not gained cult status and deservedly so, wants us to cough up more money so he can give it to bankers and businessmen. The man who thought up this ruse is another Brown buddy who looks like a Dark Lord from Lord Of The Rings. We will not identify him as mention of his name has been known to drive people to suicide.
Brown and his gang are desperate to get the economy moving. They have spent all the governments money on bailing out bankers and feeding fat cats caviar and cream and now as no-one is spending, no one is making any money. Therefore the government are not raking in any taxes to pay the seven per cent interest on the money they borrowed from the banks having lent it to the banks a 0.5 per cent interest.
As we have no manufacturing industry left and no natural resources to exploit because Browns silly commitments to reduce our carbon footprint put our coal off limits (You may notice that other nations make vague noises about carbon emissions but keep on pumping the oil, digging the coal and helping their economies to flourish,) the only way the British economy can be restarted is by Mr. and Mrs. Average Briton resuming digging themselves ever deeper into debt so they can start consuming and the economy can grow. As Steinbeck wrote in The Grapes of Wrath, The economy is a monster that must grow because if it ever stops growing it dies. It has died and cannot be resuscitated by Mr. & Mrs Average Britons debts.
Unfortunately for Ol Bag O Shite Brown Mr & Mrs Average Briton are already so deep in debt there are two big blokes waiting outside their house for them to show their faces. As soon as our typical couple set foot outside these two, the Psycho Bastard twins, Ugly and Murdering will deliver the message their boss E. Ville Loanshark wrote on the baseball bats with nails through the end that the boys are holding. The message reads: This is nothing personal, its just business. If I let you rip me off everyone will think they can too.
Yes, debt collecting, usury and prostitution are the only industries that are growing in Bag Oshite Browns Britain. Yet in this dystopic environment the government thinks a few bland statements about things getting better because the rate of decline has slowed will all us all with confidence. That or they think blaming our selfishness for the recession will guilt trip us all into selling our kids into slavery to save this failed government from complete annihilation as a political force at the next election.
Right, any Brown fans out there lets be avin you. There must be some if there are Blair fans, Blair is even more despicable than Brown slightly. At least Brown only preaches politics to us, he does not blether on about faith. So anybody who thinks as one Blair fan does that I am sitting here with my beer and chips (actually it is Claret and Canapes sweetie) carping and criticising while good people like Saint Tony are at least trying to do something, bring em on.
The Economy Is So Bad Talk Radio blog Blaney’s Blarney presents a roundup of the best “economy up shit creek” one liners.
Engage With Blair – No Thanks No longer constrained by the cynicism of Alistair Campbells, that slimy little shit Blair is free to push his “faith agenda.” But will anybody put their faith in a proven liar and hypocrite who has proved he is addicted to monry and celebrity. As a Saxon scribe once wrote “Preachers are attracted to monery like flies to a turd.”
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