I wanna be a motivational magician

For all the sixteen years that have passed since my illustrious career was ended by a brain haemorrhage I have been quite content to accept that I would never work again. The idea of working did not appeal to me, I was comfortably off financially after burning myself out and the idea of committing myself to any of the businesses I could run from home did not tempt me. And it would not be easy for a disabled bloke to make a living as a sex worker.

But now I have found a job that makes me want to return to the battlefield. I read in an article about the way government bureaucrats waste money of a British municipal authority that spend £19,000 on a motivational magician.

Kool, I thought, that’s the job for me. Forget those boring motivational speakers with their chants and hand clapping and team building crap. As a motivational magician I could motivate people by turning lazy buggers into frogs oe something. Much more fun, and at £19,000 a gig I would only need to work one day a month.

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