The Time Has Come The Walrus Said….

Indeed the time has come to start spending the money neither we, nor the banks, have got, but Gordon the Terrible has the printing presses working 24/7 in order to maintain a constant supply of the old filthy lucre to slip through our fingers into the hands of the developing nations, be it through their consumer goods or their call centres when we try to find out why our brand new Daewoo flatscreen t.v. with laptop and internet access espresso refrigerated mixer and ice cube maker will not work.

And perhaps, being a tightwad like me, you may wonder about the wisdom of forking out a small fortune on pieces of card, decorated with pictures of snowy scenes, robins, wreaths and ice skaters and bearing variations on a theme of “Seasons Greetings”, even though some of them will actually say that of the £3.99 you spent on a box of 10, 1 penny will be donated to charity for each card bought.

You may wonder how you might better spend your time on these winter evenings rather than sitting at the kitchen table for a couple of hours a night trying to remember whether Ginny Reynolds had three kids or two and what on earth was her current partner called, seeing as how you haven’t seen her since leaving school back in 1984.

You may baulk at the necessity to pay first class postage for all these cards as the last date for second class post was 24th November, to people you knew once, a long time ago, and would walk past in the street these days, and who obviously only send you a Christmas card when yours pops through their letterbox, hence not receiving their card until the middle of January.

But what to do to salve your conscience at this time of giving?

Simply give generously to the annual Boggartblog Christmas appeal.

For the past two years we have campaigned on behalf of the millions of bereft socks, condemned to a lonely existence at the bottom of the washing basket as their partners make their way goodness knows where, allegedly with the help of washing machines.

Last year we were pleased to announce the founding of the Fletcher Memeorial Home for Seperated Socks and Stockings and the Greta Garbo Home for Wayward Socks.

During the summer we brought you news of an innovative pairing and breeding programme being undertaken by the homes.

And Boggartblog is still championing this charity.

However this year we have become increasingly concerned about the number of abandoned hi-visibility jackets.

Hi-visibility jackets have been encouraged to proliferate to provide flourescent wear for anyone undertaking anything ever, in the interests of Health and Safety.

Outdoor workers wear hi-vis, indoor workers wear hi-vis, drivers wear hi-vis, pedestrians wear hi-vis, adults wear hi-vis, children wear hi-vis, even animals wear hi-vis.

But some people seem to be a little careless, not treating their flourescent friend with the respect it deserves. It seems that to some people hi-vis is a disposable commodity, hence the growing number of hi-vis items found abandoned at the side of the road, behind the dustbins, in streams, rivers and ponds, stuck in trees and even dangling from electricity pylons.

This year Boggartblog is asking you to support us in our efforts to make ownership of high visibility clothing subject to CRB checks and the holding of an appropriate licence.

Boggartblog has won the contract from the government to carry out CRB checks on its behalf for anyone wishing or needing, through the course of their employment, to keep or wear high visibility clothing.
Subject to a satisfactory CRB check a licence will be issued, at a cost of £55.00 per annum.

But campaigning for the basic rights of the high visibility fraternity does not come cheap. So far this year Boggartblog has spent £4.25 of its own money on this cause. In order to get the necessary legislation through Parliament we need to raise a further £9.63 million, and that is why we are asking you for your help.

You can donate on line, just leave your credit or debit card details at Boggartblog Hi-Vis Scampaign and indicate the amount you wish us to take.
We also accept cheques and cash.
Alternatively if you have any unwanted gold jewellery lying about we would be more than happy to take that off your hands.

Please remember our flourescent friends this Christmas and give generously.

RELATED POSTS:
Creepy And Evil Christmas Presents
We Wish You A Merry Christmas – But Not In Dundee
Holding Out For A Hero
The Boggart Blog Christmas Appeal 2008
Prime Minister’s Crap Christmas

Boggartblog Christmas Appeal

As Christmas aproaches we at Boggartblog take a special pride in the work we do with our chosen charity, The Fletcher Memorial Home For Seperated Socks and Stockings and the Greta Garbo Home for Wayward Socks.

It is at this time of year that one tends to think about odd stockings and indeed, it is traditional for people to buy a special stocking and hang it from the mantlepiece, where it can enjoy the warmth of the central heating and also be the centre of attention, especially on Christmas morning, when excited children will come rushing downstairs to find what presents have materialised in their stocking.

However we urge all of you out there to think hard before buying one of these specially bred stockings.
Stockings are, by nature, designed to be one of a pair, and even though the intense commercialisation of Christmas has given rise to oversized, brightly coloured items of hosiery, these little fellows, which look cute enough now, will soon be confined to a lonely twelve months at the bottom of the decoration box in the attic.
They will not even have a partner or sole-mate to keep them company through the long sweltering days that represent an insulated loft’s summer climate.
Do you really want your stocking to suffer like that?

Boggartblog suggests that you take a pair of your own socks, or better still, two or more of the odd socks that invariably lurk at the bottom of the washing basket and use these for your Christmas stocking. Let’s face it, unless you have feet the size of Michael Phelp’s, it will be a sight cheaper to fill one of these in these straitened times, and it will also provide an albeit brief sense of purpose in these singular socks’ lives.

Boggartblog also asks that at this time of giving you think of all the socks you have lost or mislayed during the past year. At the Fletcher Memorial and the Greta Garbo homes the staff are dedicated to providing treatment and care for the lost, damaged socks that are brought to us.

£2.50 will pay for laundry for 37 socks of similar colour.

£5.00 will pay for a month’s suply of needles and darning wool, to treat the damaged socks.

£495.99 will provide a bespoke camphor wood drawer, which can provide shelter for 28 single socks and stockings.

Or you can adopt a stocking. Simply arrange a monthly donation by direct debit, and we will choose a sock or stocking to be your very own. You will receive a photo of your stocking and regular updates on it’s progress.

REMEMBER!

A STOCKING IS FOR LIFE, NOT JUST FOR CHRISTMAS.

RELATED POSTS:
Five Go Round Robin
Christmas Is Bollocks

Odd Socks The Cause Of Teenage Angst

I was on the phone to our dear old Mum the other day and the conversation turned to my offspring.
I launched into my habitual moan about BBC’s lifestyle, lying in bed ’till 11 or 12 o’clock, or even later, stumbling into the office mid afternoon, disappearing off to the pub at about 9pm and not coming home ’till 1 or 2 in the morning, just the usual teenage behaviour really, and my moaning about it is just the usual parent behaviour I guess, after all we used to stay out till the small hours, however we did get up to go to work, but there were plenty of proper jobs about in those days.
Anyway she listened to me banging on and then she came out with, “It’s all your fault he’s turned out the way he has, letting him wear odd socks when he was a toddler and talking to him as if he could understand!”
Stunned silence from me, yes I did talk to him as if he could understand, because he could, but let him wear odd socks? Never!
I reckon she’s getting BBC confused with The Rolling Stoned reporter, after all Ian’s a bit of a rebel when it comes to socks.

The Fletcher Memorial Home For Seperated Socks And Stockings

Boggartblog is now recognised as one of the leading multi-national media organisations, and, as befits such an international network, Boggartblog recognises the necessity of social responsibility.
As the BBC promotes the ‘Children In Need’ charity, so Boggartblog, through our very own BBC reporter, is pleased to announce the launching of its own special cause.

The Fletcher Memorial Home For Seperated Socks and Stockings (henceforth the FMHfSSS)

and also

The Greta Garbo Home for Wayward Socks.

Last year we brought to your attention the peculiar rituals which all socks must go through before returning to their homes to re-unite with their partners and spawn.
Unfortunately many are lost on their hazardous journey around the world; drowned,run over or blown off course being some of the fates to befall these intrepid footwear adventurers.
Boggartblog, especially BBC, now thinks it is time to recognise the plight of the socks and stockings left behind, who wait patiently at the bottom of washing baskets or the back of drawers for their partner’s return, ignored and neglected by all around them.
Consequently BBC has taken to bringing home these poor, partnerless socks and stockings, and providing them with a caring environment, where they can meet other bereaved items of footwear and perhaps find some solace from their shared experiences.
The home has an odd sock wearing policy, so all members of staff will wear all of the socks on a rota basis, thus providing meaning to the socks in the empty role they have had thrust upon them.
Meanwhile the Greta Garbo Home For Wayward Socks rescues lost socks, brings them back into the fold and nurses them back to health. Sometimes it may just be a little wash and dry, other times they may need a thorough wringing and in severe cases it is sometimes necessary to darn, but in every case our dedicated team of carers endeavour to restore the sock to health, before it is moved to The Fletcher Memorial Home For Seperated Socks And Stockings.

As you can appreciate providing this service not only takes time but also money, so Boggartblog is asking you to show your support for these poor socks and stockings and make a donation now.
Remember one of these socks could belong to you.

Sock wars,A disturning new trend in football holloganism? Check out the full story in The Anorak sports section:
Everton Supporters taunt Liverpool fans with SOCKS

MORE sock related posts:

Odd Socks The Cause Of Teenage Angst?

Christmas Charity Appeal for stray and abandoned socks