Under The Influence Of Mind Altering Drugs Eight Legs Is A Few too Many

We’ve all heard about the men who stare at goats or walls or whatever, attempts by America’s secret services to harness out alleged para/super normal mental abilities.

On reading this report I wondered just what the guys at Nasa might have been smoking in their fag breaks.

Apparently in 1995 Nasa carried out experiments with mind altering drugs to note their effects.
Now they may have used themselves as guinea pigs, but they certainly didn’t admit to it, probably no funding that way.

Instead they fed LSD, Benzedrine, Mescaline, Marijuana and Caffeine to ….spiders.

Now this is the bit that makes me wonder about this research, they then “Set the spiders to work making webs.”

You can do that?
You can order a spider to make a web?

“Okay, my little arachnid friend, time to go to work. Get spinning buddy!”

Well, hardly surprisingly the spiders on pot lost interest half way through and just lay there, giggling.

The ones on LSD made a start, but just kept climbing higher and saying, “Like, wow, Man, has anyone got any mushrooms?”

The spiders on speed completed their webs in record time, but the work was rather slapdash.

But it was the spiders on Caffeine that gave the most interesting results.

Whilst they worked reasonably fast, only having small brains, they were forever losing their place on their frequent trips from the website down to the lab where the coffeee percolator was kept.
On returning they would simply start again, because they couldn’t remember where they were up to.
This, naturally resulted in some very haphazard web designs, which proved rather inefficient for their designated purpose, i.e. trapping small fling insects.

The spiders then came up with an invention that has been a boon to the internet and helped secure its world-wide domination.
Using a complex series of cable they were able to position a camera on their construction site and link it to a computer terminal in the lab, enabling them to keep watch on their building work, whilst taking those very important coffee breaks, and thus the web-cam was born.